Lazy days
Tue Jul 15 08:58AM
It looks as though two of the laziest players in the game are about to head on up to Manchester. Manchester United have finally got those dollar signs ringing up in Tottenham's eyes in their pursuit for Dimitar Berbatov, while Ronaldinho looks likely to sacrifice success in the quest for cash by rocking up at City.
We've all heard the guff spouted by top players about it being a short career and all that, but with a handful of highly lucrative sponsorship deals, including one with an obscure company that makes photocopiers, Ronnie probably isn't short of a bob or two.
It's well known that the Brazilian only turns up to around half of Barcelona's training sessions, which was fine when he was the best player in the world and they were winning things, but as soon he put on a bit of timber and his performances dropped it became a scandal.
Quite what Mark Hughes's reaction will be to the star acquisition that he didn't ask for putting in about four hours work per week at Carrington remains to be seen.
Spurs striker Berbatov may also have to buck his ideas up if he moves to Old Trafford.
The Bulgarian is one of the most lethal strikers in the Premier League, but his body language seems to cause offence in some quarters.
He has revealed in the past that he models his look on Andy Garcia in The Godfather Part III, but his lolloping about the place, swinging his arms and hiding his hands up his long sleeves, is more akin to Harry Enfield in Kevin and Perry Go Large.
ED reckons that, like many gifted youngsters, he just finds this whole football lark too easy, and therefore doesn't feel as though he needs to put in maximum effort. A move to United could change all that, and the world could soon see the very best of the Berb.
- - -
As is probably painfully obvious, Doors doesn't get out that much, preferring to spend most evenings crying itself to sleep atop a mattress on the floor, forced to mentally replay the moments when it all went horribly wrong.
Needless to say, it doesn't attend many showbiz soirees, but it was cock-a-hoop to hear about a recent launch party for some football-related media package or other, attended by a couple of former players and a smattering of people who make a living out of being a bit famous.
Apparently one of the highlights of the evening was sleazeball one-hit wonder Har Mar Superstar blasting penalties at Peter Shilton while wearing a yellow poncho.
Quite what the small talk between Pixie Geldof and fellow guest Martin Keown would have been over a few canapés is anyone's guess.
ED would like to think that Pixie asked him why he didn't just wallop Ruud van Nistelrooy instead of that funny forearm smash thing, and in turn Keown could have asked the celebrity offspring exactly what her purpose on this earth was.
Football stepped into this daft realm around the same time as all the cash came flooding in, but a bunch of ligging non-entities who care nothing for the game quaffing free booze at a footie-based shindig is a bit much really.
Just to clarify, it was Har Mar Superstar wearing the poncho, not Shilts.
- - -
Perhaps a long-secreted desire to become a 3AM girl is being revealed here, but it would be foolish not to mention the news that Amy Winehouse has been collecting Euro 2008 footie stickers.
Apparently it's to lift the spirits of her husband in prison, though if ED was banged up for three to five in Parkhurst it doesn't think the sight of Razvan Rat's squad photo or action shots of Stephan Lichsteiner would really do the trick.
Let's just hope that she's not been using that shiny Dariusz Dudka sticker to heat up something she shouldn't.
- - -
FOREIGN VIEW - German tabloid Bild passes verdict on Ronaldo's new high-stacked hairstyle: "Afronaldo in Hippie Hair vacation.! No, that is not Don King, but nearly..."
TALKING POINT - andywalker269 clearly believes that the words 'social' and 'mobility' have no place next to each other: "Rooney is from a council estate. You can put him in nice suits, take him to Italy to get married, give him lorry loads of cash...at the end of a day he will still be a council estate scally who likes fags and booze."
Bencornelius23 likes to distract from the lack of female attention by reminding people of the time of day: "It's a shame the girls aren't here dis morning to add another dimension to this mornings board as it seems to be very slow this morning."
Kevmun82 has retribution in mind: "I'd like to see Celtic sign El-Hadji Diouf. Not to play, you understand, but instead they strap him to a gurney and wheel him out at half-time for every fan to come down one by one and spit in his face. See how he likes it. Money well spent!"
Today - Who is the laziest player you've ever seen?
You could start talking Nascar that is sure to change the channel ?
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 04:25PMi guessed roxys age, we are meant to be!!!!!!
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:27PMand we both love spurs! and i love her home city, the great D!!
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:28PMRemember boys play fair with roxy....no glove, no love!
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 04:29PMi view myself as the underdog in this quest for roxy. the underdog is ussually supprted so fellow bloggers support me and not the space dude that has told all of you that u suck!!!!!!!! its break point jude...im getting close!!!
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:33PMi love uncle henry.hes the best. and i love essex,and car part designing and five hour drives to chicago/columbus. and most of all i love robbie keane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:34PMjude, no sucking should take place in this battle.play fair. if you win i shall remove my helmet and salute you as the winner/our new leader. i ask that u do the same
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:36PMI feel sick :-P are we there yet ?
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 04:37PMlooks like two suckers to me roxy call it a draw
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 04:39PMroxy how can you be with a man that supports man u?! we have our love of the mighty yid army as our common ground
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:39PMi will do the same jude. u have my word space dude
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:40PMWhat is going on in this so called football board, its so camp it would not surprise me if you started singing YMCA.
Lose the spartan outfit Ben Corn and stop talking about your helmet.
From the_truth_hurts_ow on Tue Jul 15 04:40PMroxy common decide.Who's the winner
From jacknfor on Tue Jul 15 04:40PMi have to say that I did agree jude and that ben does have a thing for kantong, very impressed you remember my zip code tho'
From roxydgurl on Tue Jul 15 04:41PMspartans give the best spankings.everyone knows that
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:41PMjude is edging closer.Roxy take the final decision
From jacknfor on Tue Jul 15 04:42PMremebering zip code means nothing to a girl who has just had her team told they suck.dont give in roxy, he supports man u. therefor he looks like j.s.park, i look like dan carter!!
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:43PMim finding it hard to keep up with judes knowledge of roxy.mainley because i have not had time to intensify my stalking to judes level. but roxy you know we have so much in commen, do you remember the connection when i guessed your age? our intimate chat yesterday when jude was gone?we r meant to be.
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:47PMben do something i won't like to see that lady slip off your hands.yesterday you had an interesting conversation with her.how did you do it?Repeat it again.Go ben
From jacknfor on Tue Jul 15 04:47PMjude you did not witness our connection. we were like two peas in a spurs loving pod.
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:48PMroxy i have the love and support of fellow bloggers.why u might ask..i'll tell you why, because i do not tell every1 they suck. im the nice guy who made a friend in jay and supported jack in french for his quest for peace
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:50PMjude is incredibly close to winning roxy over.he already got her zip code.ben you must do something greater and impossible now to win over roxy.Go jude
From jacknfor on Tue Jul 15 04:51PMeven in this time of the end i do not call you names.purely because roxy is the most important thing.not insulting eachother
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:52PMif i'm honest the skirt is tight in the crotch, due to my huge sword
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:53PMLOL.jack is not a traitor.He looks for equity though it doesn't seem possible in this case coz jude has the upper hand now
From jacknfor on Tue Jul 15 04:55PMroxy your intersts are bodyart cars fantasyart football jewellery photoshop shoes travel. and your just 'here for the the of it'
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:55PMi can play my 5 languages card jude
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 04:57PMroxy do something.one person may just get murdered here.do something urgently
From jacknfor on Tue Jul 15 04:58PMdidnt i already agree yesterday jude, do i have to say it again, i know ben's a spurs fan and guessed my age , but he's got a thing for kantong and no girl likes competition in that way, besides i dont like yes men, healthy banter despite that man utd suck
From roxydgurl on Tue Jul 15 04:58PMjude seems to have won the contest.i don't think i will be wrong if i told him congrats.so we will certainly not see ben on this blog from tomorrow
From jacknfor on Tue Jul 15 05:00PM
Comment on this article
Please sign in to add your comments.
Early Doors – Your morning briefing
Sport Newsletter
Catch up with all the latest news
Sign up to our free daily newsletter to recieve the latest news straight to your inbox. Make sure you don’t miss a thing.
Sign up now
This site is Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! and Eurosport. All rights reserved.
- Terms of Service
- Updated Privacy Policy
- Copyright/IP Policy
- Remarks and Suggestions
- Corporate info
- Jobs at Eurosport
Notice: We collect personal information on this site. To learn more about how we use your information, see our Privacy Policy.