Lazy days
Tue Jul 15 08:58AM
It looks as though two of the laziest players in the game are about to head on up to Manchester. Manchester United have finally got those dollar signs ringing up in Tottenham's eyes in their pursuit for Dimitar Berbatov, while Ronaldinho looks likely to sacrifice success in the quest for cash by rocking up at City.
We've all heard the guff spouted by top players about it being a short career and all that, but with a handful of highly lucrative sponsorship deals, including one with an obscure company that makes photocopiers, Ronnie probably isn't short of a bob or two.
It's well known that the Brazilian only turns up to around half of Barcelona's training sessions, which was fine when he was the best player in the world and they were winning things, but as soon he put on a bit of timber and his performances dropped it became a scandal.
Quite what Mark Hughes's reaction will be to the star acquisition that he didn't ask for putting in about four hours work per week at Carrington remains to be seen.
Spurs striker Berbatov may also have to buck his ideas up if he moves to Old Trafford.
The Bulgarian is one of the most lethal strikers in the Premier League, but his body language seems to cause offence in some quarters.
He has revealed in the past that he models his look on Andy Garcia in The Godfather Part III, but his lolloping about the place, swinging his arms and hiding his hands up his long sleeves, is more akin to Harry Enfield in Kevin and Perry Go Large.
ED reckons that, like many gifted youngsters, he just finds this whole football lark too easy, and therefore doesn't feel as though he needs to put in maximum effort. A move to United could change all that, and the world could soon see the very best of the Berb.
- - -
As is probably painfully obvious, Doors doesn't get out that much, preferring to spend most evenings crying itself to sleep atop a mattress on the floor, forced to mentally replay the moments when it all went horribly wrong.
Needless to say, it doesn't attend many showbiz soirees, but it was cock-a-hoop to hear about a recent launch party for some football-related media package or other, attended by a couple of former players and a smattering of people who make a living out of being a bit famous.
Apparently one of the highlights of the evening was sleazeball one-hit wonder Har Mar Superstar blasting penalties at Peter Shilton while wearing a yellow poncho.
Quite what the small talk between Pixie Geldof and fellow guest Martin Keown would have been over a few canapés is anyone's guess.
ED would like to think that Pixie asked him why he didn't just wallop Ruud van Nistelrooy instead of that funny forearm smash thing, and in turn Keown could have asked the celebrity offspring exactly what her purpose on this earth was.
Football stepped into this daft realm around the same time as all the cash came flooding in, but a bunch of ligging non-entities who care nothing for the game quaffing free booze at a footie-based shindig is a bit much really.
Just to clarify, it was Har Mar Superstar wearing the poncho, not Shilts.
- - -
Perhaps a long-secreted desire to become a 3AM girl is being revealed here, but it would be foolish not to mention the news that Amy Winehouse has been collecting Euro 2008 footie stickers.
Apparently it's to lift the spirits of her husband in prison, though if ED was banged up for three to five in Parkhurst it doesn't think the sight of Razvan Rat's squad photo or action shots of Stephan Lichsteiner would really do the trick.
Let's just hope that she's not been using that shiny Dariusz Dudka sticker to heat up something she shouldn't.
- - -
FOREIGN VIEW - German tabloid Bild passes verdict on Ronaldo's new high-stacked hairstyle: "Afronaldo in Hippie Hair vacation.! No, that is not Don King, but nearly..."
TALKING POINT - andywalker269 clearly believes that the words 'social' and 'mobility' have no place next to each other: "Rooney is from a council estate. You can put him in nice suits, take him to Italy to get married, give him lorry loads of cash...at the end of a day he will still be a council estate scally who likes fags and booze."
Bencornelius23 likes to distract from the lack of female attention by reminding people of the time of day: "It's a shame the girls aren't here dis morning to add another dimension to this mornings board as it seems to be very slow this morning."
Kevmun82 has retribution in mind: "I'd like to see Celtic sign El-Hadji Diouf. Not to play, you understand, but instead they strap him to a gurney and wheel him out at half-time for every fan to come down one by one and spit in his face. See how he likes it. Money well spent!"
Today - Who is the laziest player you've ever seen?
Where is Ave Maria on this fine morning ?
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 10:32AM'I do know how to have an avatar, I just don't want one anymore'.classic.u sound like i five year old. and the 'corndog' gag...pure genius. u must be so proud of yourself.well done you.
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 10:34AMWell, you put a caveat that "anyone who has played at Newcastle", whereas, for the ugliest player you said "Chadwick/Tevez - anyone at Man Utd" thus implying that Chadwick was still a red. Therefore, you are the citrus fruit of your choosing.
From g_hine on Tue Jul 15 10:34AMWow all the suckers r bak!
ben n jay sitting in a tree k i s s i n g
Lovely to see ur relationship developing so nicely. Shud I buy a hat boys?
Artiwhatever - dam u r soooooooooo duullllllllllllll
dannickbates - how's Cape Town today? ROHYPNOL still doing it 4 u?
From tot.jelly on Tue Jul 15 10:35AMBen, I would call you the sexpest, but I thought I would go down the Mooochas path and call you something barely resembling your name. Good n'ais pas?
From g_hine on Tue Jul 15 10:36AMpark is not the ugliest player in the midfield ~ ginger scholes looks like an extra from lord of the rings. and don't forget vidic, who may or may not be made up of 14 other dudes.
From jcpotvin on Tue Jul 15 10:37AMSorry Dan Durban guess giving up 40 @#$% a day a couple of months ago has done something to my memory at least it has rhyme to it
Better than Scunthorpe Dan don you think ?
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 10:37AMBesides, it rhymes with horndog, which to coin a phrase "that's you that is"
From g_hine on Tue Jul 15 10:37AMCan I actually strike my last comment, I'd like to revise it and just nominate the entire Rangers team as lazy b*stards... they played the laziest football I have ever seen, scrapped through 2 finals by the skin of their teeth and only because in one they had a lot of help from a wee man named Mike McCurry and in the other they were playing Queen of the South! They didn't deserve to win either of them, thankfully Zenit showed them for what they are @#$% and lazy!
From claire881 on Tue Jul 15 10:38AMLaziest player I ever saw was Ray "Butch" Wilkins. Everytime he got the ball he would just stand still and pass it sideways before,god forbid,he would have to run anywhere.No wonder his nickname was "The Crab"......or maybe there was another reason for that............???
From adschoey on Tue Jul 15 10:40AMMaybe you should consider a move Dan I hear the beaches are good its only eight hours from Joburg and there is plenty of Pop Corn, Chewing Gum and Kanada Dry
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 10:40AMgood morning to you jay8my,ben,artti,richard,roxy and jcpotvin.I think i buy jc's idea.Dean Ashton is the laziest player.Other players who could compete with him for that are Trezeguet and John Carew.For peace to reign on this blog,ED please take away g-hine's comments if he has come to instil trouble
From jacknfor on Tue Jul 15 10:42AMagain g_hine.brilliant.keep em coming.you've got every1 on here splitting their sides.
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 10:42AMtot.jelly waht a wimp maybe u can hook up with g_hine he has no friends apart from gareth the advertiser.
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 10:42AMDannickbates wudn't move to Durban unless there woz lots of RO - HYPNOL to fuel his party boy lifestyle. he 1 crazzyyy kaffir. go figure
From tot.jelly on Tue Jul 15 10:42AMGo figure how many beanz make a Jelly Tot ?
What are schmoking Mr Heinz ?
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 10:43AMgo figure...u have an extensive vocabulary
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 10:44AMthere were about 21 notes here before i wrote about berbatov being lazy then so am I etc and now i'm first, what happened ED, being kind all of a sudden or ruthless to the other 21 posts
I see war has broken out without Judas or his imposter being here, how did that happen???
From roxydgurl on Tue Jul 15 10:44AMGareth and g_hine are the starsky & hutch of the spelling world on sport forums, they come together to be the biggest geeks in the universe and point out pointless mistakes while they are at it.
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 10:45AMroxy u didnt answer my question, who do you work for drawing car parts?
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 10:46AMAww jayu match making me n ghinner? funny how people in relationships always want to do that. go figure
things going well wid ben then? u goin to move in 2gether?
Do u really post here 2 find friends? HOW SWEET.
NEWS FLASH - dis ain't reel life n these peeps ain't u'r friends
apart from ben coz he's ur little sugar pieFrom tot.jelly on Tue Jul 15 10:46AMas an entire squad, i would nominate 2007/2008 ac milan. they had some dreadful losses (and worse performances) in serie a½ ~ mailed it in against arsenal in the c.l. and on the second last weekend of the season, lost 3-1 to napoli to lose out on a chance to snag 4th and a return to the top tournament. i don't think a single milano player should feel they had a good season.
From jcpotvin on Tue Jul 15 10:46AMIt happened, because ben the sexpest and Jay8my are here and they could start an argument in solitary confinement.
From g_hine on Tue Jul 15 10:47AMtot.jelly - the loner who no-one likes! I bet its like that in the real world with her/it too!
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 10:47AMJay8my, you give me so much material to work with in the first place
From g_hine on Tue Jul 15 10:47AMI actually think that the Rangers squad could rival Man Utd as the ugliest team on earth... can't look at any of them for more than a few second or else you turn to stone!
From claire881 on Tue Jul 15 10:48AMluk jay ur sugar pie is jumping 2 ur rescue. Aww swweeeeeeeeeettttttttttt.
benny boy weren't u teesing dat ghinner 4 been a smart@ss n now ur criting my vocabularly?
NEWS FLASH
U R A HYPOCRIT.... but uv got a cute boyf. go figureFrom tot.jelly on Tue Jul 15 10:48AMI saw Robbie Williams at a charity game once. Cant't remember if he was lazy but I assume he was.
From richard.ekman on Tue Jul 15 10:49AMg_hine who cares about spelling and mistakes. its a forum, y are you so hot on spelling?
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 10:49AMCape Town is waaaaayyyy cooler than Durban!! Me as a Joburger would much rather drive 14 hours to Cape Town than 6 hours to Durban...
From jcverm on Tue Jul 15 10:49AM
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