Lazy days
Tue Jul 15 08:58AM
It looks as though two of the laziest players in the game are about to head on up to Manchester. Manchester United have finally got those dollar signs ringing up in Tottenham's eyes in their pursuit for Dimitar Berbatov, while Ronaldinho looks likely to sacrifice success in the quest for cash by rocking up at City.
We've all heard the guff spouted by top players about it being a short career and all that, but with a handful of highly lucrative sponsorship deals, including one with an obscure company that makes photocopiers, Ronnie probably isn't short of a bob or two.
It's well known that the Brazilian only turns up to around half of Barcelona's training sessions, which was fine when he was the best player in the world and they were winning things, but as soon he put on a bit of timber and his performances dropped it became a scandal.
Quite what Mark Hughes's reaction will be to the star acquisition that he didn't ask for putting in about four hours work per week at Carrington remains to be seen.
Spurs striker Berbatov may also have to buck his ideas up if he moves to Old Trafford.
The Bulgarian is one of the most lethal strikers in the Premier League, but his body language seems to cause offence in some quarters.
He has revealed in the past that he models his look on Andy Garcia in The Godfather Part III, but his lolloping about the place, swinging his arms and hiding his hands up his long sleeves, is more akin to Harry Enfield in Kevin and Perry Go Large.
ED reckons that, like many gifted youngsters, he just finds this whole football lark too easy, and therefore doesn't feel as though he needs to put in maximum effort. A move to United could change all that, and the world could soon see the very best of the Berb.
- - -
As is probably painfully obvious, Doors doesn't get out that much, preferring to spend most evenings crying itself to sleep atop a mattress on the floor, forced to mentally replay the moments when it all went horribly wrong.
Needless to say, it doesn't attend many showbiz soirees, but it was cock-a-hoop to hear about a recent launch party for some football-related media package or other, attended by a couple of former players and a smattering of people who make a living out of being a bit famous.
Apparently one of the highlights of the evening was sleazeball one-hit wonder Har Mar Superstar blasting penalties at Peter Shilton while wearing a yellow poncho.
Quite what the small talk between Pixie Geldof and fellow guest Martin Keown would have been over a few canapés is anyone's guess.
ED would like to think that Pixie asked him why he didn't just wallop Ruud van Nistelrooy instead of that funny forearm smash thing, and in turn Keown could have asked the celebrity offspring exactly what her purpose on this earth was.
Football stepped into this daft realm around the same time as all the cash came flooding in, but a bunch of ligging non-entities who care nothing for the game quaffing free booze at a footie-based shindig is a bit much really.
Just to clarify, it was Har Mar Superstar wearing the poncho, not Shilts.
- - -
Perhaps a long-secreted desire to become a 3AM girl is being revealed here, but it would be foolish not to mention the news that Amy Winehouse has been collecting Euro 2008 footie stickers.
Apparently it's to lift the spirits of her husband in prison, though if ED was banged up for three to five in Parkhurst it doesn't think the sight of Razvan Rat's squad photo or action shots of Stephan Lichsteiner would really do the trick.
Let's just hope that she's not been using that shiny Dariusz Dudka sticker to heat up something she shouldn't.
- - -
FOREIGN VIEW - German tabloid Bild passes verdict on Ronaldo's new high-stacked hairstyle: "Afronaldo in Hippie Hair vacation.! No, that is not Don King, but nearly..."
TALKING POINT - andywalker269 clearly believes that the words 'social' and 'mobility' have no place next to each other: "Rooney is from a council estate. You can put him in nice suits, take him to Italy to get married, give him lorry loads of cash...at the end of a day he will still be a council estate scally who likes fags and booze."
Bencornelius23 likes to distract from the lack of female attention by reminding people of the time of day: "It's a shame the girls aren't here dis morning to add another dimension to this mornings board as it seems to be very slow this morning."
Kevmun82 has retribution in mind: "I'd like to see Celtic sign El-Hadji Diouf. Not to play, you understand, but instead they strap him to a gurney and wheel him out at half-time for every fan to come down one by one and spit in his face. See how he likes it. Money well spent!"
Today - Who is the laziest player you've ever seen?
EERRRRRRR TOT.JELLY IS A MAN!
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 11:42AMFoxy Roxy where are you? I need my Roxy fix
From jude_surf on Tue Jul 15 11:43AMaw cummon surfy u used 2 be soo much funnier dan dat.
i am a girl doofus - u n me used to talk - guess who?
@#$% is a bit lame now boy u need a new toon in yur ipod dude
LA GALAXY is where od pros @#$% 2 dye der hair n soak up fithy dollars. I like Man U a bit 2
From tot.jelly on Tue Jul 15 11:43AMBerbatov to Man United!!!
From jude_surf on Tue Jul 15 11:43AMKAKA is moving to Spurs - check the yahoo breaking transfer news!!
From jude_surf on Tue Jul 15 11:44AMart, i would suggest reading up on heisenberg's uncertainty principle. quantum physics offers some really interesting theories.
From jcpotvin on Tue Jul 15 11:44AMthats a bit harsh aint it marc, just coz jack likes rangers?? i like rangers there the only team that rival celtic in scotland, i think they have loads of deadwood in the team that they need to get of though.
tot.jelly where do u tuck it when u go out?
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 11:45AMartiwhatever- o no the infinity feelin is back.............. i bet blowin smoke out of ur @ss never felt so good.
From tot.jelly on Tue Jul 15 11:45AMGo figure means she is looking for an accountant mcgrant
It is an American thing accountants are rich never mind that they are DAF
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 11:47AMarsenal pass the ball around so many times that they sell the season tickets within minutes and have a waiting list of about 10 years dont suck.
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 11:47AMRyan Giggs vs Arsenal FA Cup semi 99. Enough said.
From jcverm on Tue Jul 15 11:47AMtot.jelly you're not a girl and your racist pig comments disgust me - one question for you : Who is ROBERT MCFARLANE?
From jude_surf on Tue Jul 15 11:47AMAh Jack how odd you are or are you just tryin to be 'contraversial'! Tot.jelly are you deliberately spelling every second word wrong? Just wondering if its like txt speak or whatever so don't like bite my head off! Thank you Marc for agreeing with me, glad there are others out there who see the Hamster from Hamilton for the waste of space he really is!
From claire881 on Tue Jul 15 11:47AMGet in the Megabus tot.belly
From jude_surf on Tue Jul 15 11:48AMthanks very much jay.It's actually for thesame reason i support rangers.They are truly the only team to rival celtics and i just like their manager Walter Smith who did a lot to bring the Scottish National team to the level where it is now
From jacknfor on Tue Jul 15 11:48AMaw jay u done stole a joke. good boy bet benny is way proud.
u see boy in da reel world there r these other peeps called women. guess a bit of a foreign concept 4 a web nerd like u who thinks cyber friends r reel. go figureFrom tot.jelly on Tue Jul 15 11:48AMthanks jc of Bin Ladens toon a comment that makes sense and is not footie related or a slag
if you cant fart jelly tot u must be full of s(explitive)te got that figured ?
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 11:49AMtot.jelly i reckon u look a little like ronaldinho, what do u fink?
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 11:49AMclaire i am not trying to be controverial.I sincerely like rangers even when they were at their lowest peak until Smith arrived
From jacknfor on Tue Jul 15 11:52AMDo you suppose Heisenberg in vented ED jc of bin ladens toon ?
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 11:52AMruud gullit is the best thing that ever happened to the mls, which doesn't say a lot, but it's a start. unlike every other coach, he criticizes the players, the conditions, the organizations, the pay packets ~ everything. the galaxy carry two players who each make as much as the rest of the team, one of whom makes more than the rest of the league. they mix in a few other mid-level (league one or two caliber) 'stars" and fill out the bottom of the roster with guys who make the league minimum, $12,000, approximately the same as a cook at mcdonald's. the league needs a swift kick in the arse and more coaches like him need to demand more from the league, the clubs and the cities.
From jcpotvin on Tue Jul 15 11:52AMgood point jcverm but he is 34 now and the arsenal defence no longer has an average age of 45.
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 11:53AMjack i think ur gonna wish u never asked now cos im gonna write u an essay.
well, i will start with last season.
CIS Cup final dundee united v rangers.
united lead 1-0 after playing attacking football and playing rangers off the park. united break through on goal, rangers defender hacks united player down in box, no penalty, joke #1
de vries breaks clear 30yards from goal one on one, wrestled to the ground by cheating rangers defender, no red card, not even free kick, joke #2
rangers cheat and win cup
league match - dundee united v rangers - ibrox
terrible decisions all day put rangers 2-0 ahead. half time
5 mins into 2nd half noel hunt in box, weir blatantly trips hunt, surely a penalty and red card, not at ibrox!
5mins later danny swanson scores a fine strike which takes a clear deflection off weir. unbeliavably the cheating continues! goal chalked off cos it came off united player (no united player within 5yards). fat daniel cousin headbutts wilkie, not even a warning given. de vries scores a well deserved goal which would have completed a 3-2 comeback and kept our euro dreams alive, gets booked for his trouble, still dont know why, probably because he had the cheek to score at ibrox, i mean how dare he! united lose, lose out on europe, lose out on revenue, fans lose out on ticket money. manager says truth after match and will get fined.
thats why i hate cheating scummy rangers
rangers are scotland shame
oh, not to mention embarrasing scotland with their anti football and thug like behaviour in a european final.
From marcgrant7 on Tue Jul 15 11:54AMI thought the mls was a retirement home for Coffin Dodgers from Europe
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 11:57AMwho cares surfy
Rascist? Man? AWW boys u just luv woopin on a girl dontcha? make u feel like tuff guys? bet u got 1 beard hair each.
i'm gone 2 da beach on my megabus *wink wink*.
laters.
oh yeah.... go figure
oh yeah .... jay n ben r fruitsFrom tot.jelly on Tue Jul 15 11:57AMJay, what is the average age of the Arsenal defence these days - 12? But point taken - I'm afraid Giggsy's best days are gone... What a player though!! Gonna miss him when he's gone...
From jcverm on Tue Jul 15 11:57AMweb nerd coming from the yank that knows nothing about football, yet finds itself on a football forum, look in the mirror ronaldinho lookalike.
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 11:57AMwell slags and footie are normally what i do best, but math is not without its merits. uncertainty principal states the more we know about where an object is, the less we know about where it's going and the more we know about where it's going, the less we know about where it is.
From jcpotvin on Tue Jul 15 11:58AMI thought today's topic was called lazy days what are we doing with 250 plus blogs before lunch ? or in my case breakfast
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 11:58AMThanks for the match report mcgrant shame its 8 weeks l8
are you an Edinbrugh Fan ?From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 12:01PM
Comment on this article
Please sign in to add your comments.
Early Doors – Your morning briefing
Sport Newsletter
Catch up with all the latest news
Sign up to our free daily newsletter to recieve the latest news straight to your inbox. Make sure you don’t miss a thing.
Sign up now
This site is Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! and Eurosport. All rights reserved.
- Terms of Service
- Updated Privacy Policy
- Copyright/IP Policy
- Remarks and Suggestions
- Corporate info
- Jobs at Eurosport
Notice: We collect personal information on this site. To learn more about how we use your information, see our Privacy Policy.