Monster Masch-up
Mon Mar 24 08:52AM
Footballers may well live in their own little bubbles, snugly wrapped up in cotton wool and guarded from reality by a crack team of agents, overly protective managers and highly paid lawyers.
But Early Doors refuses to accept that a basic understanding of current affairs in the real world is an entirely foreign concept to a footballer - after all, they pick up the papers to read about how well they played at the weekend, don't they?
Which makes it all the more unbelievable that last week's hoohaa about players' lack of respect for referees and the post Cole-gate fallout (gags on a postcard to the usual address, please) appears to have entirely passed by Javier Mascherano.
Given the coverage afforded to the subject over the past five days, did Mascherano not realise that his actions at Old Trafford were bordering on the wrong side of ill advised?
Regardless of whether he used foul and abusive language towards Steve Bennett - ED suspects he did not, but now wishes he had at least got his money's worth - the Argentine cannot have been surprised by the outcome.
As it was, he certainly did appear taken aback when Bennett brandished red, making him see the same colour and finally properly lose control on his way off the pitch. It even took a posse of team-mates to prevent him from doing something he may have later regretted (yeah, right, it was one of those classic 'Hold me back lads! Please. Lads? Hold me back, I'm gonna batter him' moments you see not very hard people acting out on pitches across the country week in week out).
Perhaps he's just really thick. Certainly, several of this morning's red tops agree, with the Sun running with the headline 'Dumbest Man on the Planet' on its back page while the Daily Star go for 'Mad Masch' and the Daily Mail 'Monster Masch'.
It's no secret that, as a breed, footballers aren't the sharpest tools in the box - take a quick look at last week's Question of Sport for some prime, juicy evidence (Nigel Reo-Coker could not quite remember who will be co-hosting the summer's Euro 2008 finals with Austria. Are you having a laugh, Nige? You're a professional footballer, for crying out loud).
In fairness to Mascherano, he has rarely displayed such stupidity, although he did once sign for West Ham. But there are definitely more worthy contenders for the title of dumbest man on the planet.
Regardless, Masch now seems set for an FA charge and could be on the receiving end of a five game ban, which will go nicely with his newfound status as public enemy number two (the Ashley Cole thing is still too raw to forget about just yet).
- - -
King Kev finally proved he's still got the capacity to win at the weekend, if only after nine previous failed attempts and against one of the worst teams in the Premier League.
Nevertheless, the good times rolled back onto Tyneside on Saturday night and it would be remiss of ED to let their victory over Fulham go unnoticed.
So why did the result leave ED have a sour taste in its mouth? It's simple really - Mike Ashley's post-match comments.
Apparently the Magpies owner burst into the bar at full-time and shouted to Chris Mort "let's get naked and have a party".
Fat, naked Geordie men are a common sight at St James' Park, but the thought of Ashley partying away in the St James' bar without his customary Newcastle shirt frankly scares ED.
Perhaps Ashley just wanted to enjoy the moment while it lasted, and you can't blame him for that, although there were good omens for the Toon's survival elsewhere too.
After Bad Friday's revelation that Newcastle's fate this season is intertwined with that of struggling Paris St Germain, it came as good news to Magpies fans when the link was broken nearly as easily and quickly as it had been created, PSG slipping to defeat against Lyon while Newcastle were still nursing a sweet victory and nakedness-induced hangover.
- - -
La Liga top scorer Luis Fabiano says he is under pressure from his family to leave Sevilla following an armed robbery at their house in the Spanish city.
"My family are very scared and they don't want to stay in Seville," the Brazilian said. "I'm trying to talk them round but it isn't easy."
Not easy? No kidding. For a man who has already spectacularly displayed his lack of prowess in a fight - the now famous 'drunken windmill attack' on Carlos Diogo - it's easy to see why his wife is lacking faith in his ability to protect the homestead.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND PART ONE: "I'm sweating. Be nice. Don't worry about upsetting me, tell me I'm sweating." Paul Jewell proves Mike Ashley hasn't got exclusive fat and naked rights to provoking repulsive thoughts in ED's mind after the News of the World revealed excerpts from the Derby boss's homemade dirty video.
QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND PART TWO: "I'm my own man. I don't want people to say that I'm a Fergie-type manager or a Hoddle-type manager. Paul Ince is Paul Ince, he's got his own style of management. People thought I was mad when I went to Macclesfield Town. They thought, because I was a big name, I should put my feet up and wait for a big club, but Paul Ince is not like that. Paul Ince, the footballer is gone, this is a new chapter in my life." Like Early Doors, Paul Ince likes to refer to himself in the third person.
NEEDLESS ADVICE OF THE DAY: "Managers must keep private lives private". An interesting insight from Tony Cascarino in the Times today, suggesting that it was actually Paul Jewell who distributed that tape of him at it with the "mystery blonde". Hardly likely.
FOREIGN VIEW: The spectre of hoologanism still looms large in South America, and it reared its ugly head once again in Argentina at the weekend as Racing Club fans, furious after their team had three players sent off in six minutes and a goal disallowed, hurled missiles onto the pitch and forced the match against Estudiantes to be abandoned. And Liverpool fans complain about one red card...
TALKING POINT: Is Javier Mascherano the dumbest man on the planet? Or was he simply the victim of circumstance? Post your comments in the usual manner below.
COMING UP: It may be a Bank Holiday, but there are still a team of worker drones buzzing their way around an updated Team of the Week, Winners and Losers and Around the World in 80 Goals for your perusing pleasure. All three should be with you before midday.
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IM this storyI, for one, am actually glad Mascherano received a controversial red. It eclipse the embarrassment of losing 3-0 to Manchester. Thanks mate!
From yehia18 on Mon Mar 24 09:01AMI think he is the dumbest...ED´s suspects are wrong...the cameras showed him saying F..k you to the ref at least 20 times. If this is not a sending off then what...kicking the ref´s arse? And dumb Benitez said that he was just asking about the tackle and didnt deserve a red.ha ha that is a good one.After the first tackle on Scholes I bet my father for ten quid he will get a red before a half time. Unsurprisingly I won...Thanks Monster Masch
From peto.ceco on Mon Mar 24 09:10AMxabi alonso should wrestle mascherano down. everyone in stadium knows what will happened when masch confronted the ref.
From hamzi_84 on Mon Mar 24 09:13AMAfter all the publicity over the last week and comments by the big names of football, it was always on the cards for something like this to happen. The thing that did not look so good, was the distance he ran in to "question" the ref, plus get right in his face. No ref is going to take having a player shouting in his face and all animated with his actions. Plus most players who already have been shown a yellow card in a match try to keep a very low profile where the ref is concerned, maybe he just had a total brain fade?
From taxidriver1954 on Mon Mar 24 09:21AMAs all football commentators say nowadays (to sound all posh)...he was - er - 'petulant'.
From nativexile on Mon Mar 24 09:23AMIf mad Masch is not the dumbest man or earth, then who else is?
From atokoi2002 on Mon Mar 24 09:33AMHe's not the dumbest man on the planet he can see into the future and knew it would be 3 - 0 so he used that event to 'eclipse' the inevitable....
lol~From lordisraelrules on Mon Mar 24 10:00AMI must be the dumbest man on the planet, I used to think Masch was good !!!
From bernduwiesner on Mon Mar 24 10:21AMI was @#$%rly disapointed with his conduct, it was pathetic, whats worse is that as a 'pool supporter i speak out when utd or chelsea or arsenal (gallas in particular act like idiots) but this was stoopid! you know who ever you are that referees are completely inconsistent in their judgements. this is something that i feel will, if improved, minimze the occurences of protest and descent. some players get away with murder ( A.Cole) others get brushed (C.Ronaldo) and win free kicks) we need equality and consistency first and then idiots like masch will really look dumb. otherwise there will always be someone arguing for these guys and not against!!
From tatum_salomon on Mon Mar 24 10:31AMno; he's not the dumbest nor just a victim circumstance; the dumbest is still anelka who believes he will be sought out by a 'big' club one day if he can just get the right exposure; that leaves masch as just an also ran qualifying from his own ignorance; much like bernduweisner and I, who both once thought he was good!
From c.hawcroft on Mon Mar 24 10:50AMTo me it looked liked he was actually looking to get sent off. Right from when he was booked for the tackle he seemed to be in the the ref's face goading him into sending him off. Perhaps he didn't like playing against his buddy Tevez's team.
From colinwhamilton on Mon Mar 24 10:50AMwhere was the armband??? Gerrard only appeared on the scene about 15 seconds after the red was shown. He should have been in the refs face standing up for Torres cos first he is the captain and is allowed a bit more mouth in these matters and second cos hes english and everyone knows the refs dont mess with the national teams players. Just look at how far Terry, Lampard, Rooney, Ferdinand and of course Arsley Cole are allowed to go without even making the refs bat an eyelid...
From johnmurfie on Mon Mar 24 10:59AMit's been said before, but these guys get paid bundles to go play footie at the weekend. if i was as irresponsible in my job, i'd be facing disciplinary action or the sack. what is benitez doing, trying to make excuses for him??
From lanegold on Mon Mar 24 11:06AMThe problem is he will get a lengthy ban and miss games against Everton and Arsenal in the league..not sure about champions league...and it could cost fourth place. I also hope rafa fines him a week's wages...which really won't worry him. i agree that it did appear he wanted to get sent off.
From mike_burwin on Mon Mar 24 11:10AMLooks to me like he wanted to escape the inevitable or and just a theory, he needed an excuse to look into rafa's eyes! ooohhhh calmiming...
From crazy_pee_jay on Mon Mar 24 11:12AMThink you've all missed the point. Yes his behaviour was unacceptable but until people realise that the likes of Man U, Chelsea, Arsenal, seem to have the ref 'in their back pocket' then it will continue. Ferdinand was caught on camera tackling Torres and giving him a sly punch to the head but was he booked? No, Torres was and Mascherano dived in to complain. No excuse but the ref didn't send Ferdinand off for telling him to f*** off at one point. So things need redressing across the board.
From c.catterson on Mon Mar 24 11:13AMto johnmurfie!!! what does lampard do score goals. he does not kick people nor does he have snide words with the ref to get players sent off (like snidey saint gerrard) i like today's comments. full of sour scouse....
From laurence.odea on Mon Mar 24 11:20AMTwo reason why Liverpool lost on Sunday
1,Mascherano
2,Mascherano's lack of proper education.
From kudachisepo2000 on Mon Mar 24 11:21AMWhatever happened to plain old fashioned good manners. I'm not a thin skinned individual, but I can well see the day when a ref just thinks " to H*ll with you" and chins a player for his trouble. The ref would certainly lose his job, but not the respect and affection of a nation. In any other working environment, you could be taken to court for such abusive behaviour. Some players have no manners, and are as far away from being worthy of the description "Gentleman" as it is possible to be.
From llangwyk on Mon Mar 24 11:23AMi don't think what masch did was so bad . he was like trying to protect his team made, becuz the match seem to be a very tough one.what masch did was the best thing any player will do while on the pitch . the ref should be
quation.for taken such a drastic decision against the kop,on a tough
match like that.the english league is turning to some thing else.
reality saying liverpool is the best club in the world.From esueni4all on Mon Mar 24 11:35AMI am upset that the masch incident detracts from the fact that the scousers were totally outclassed! United were winning comfortably well before his little tantrum....This may stop the hoo-ha after they win a few games they are world beaters don't make me larf!!
From thaughian on Mon Mar 24 11:37AMto esueni4all...are you kidding???you have to be on some medication to say:
1.what masch did was not bad...saying fcuk you and fcuking bastar is not the way to address the ref I think...maybe once, not hundred...
2.and liverpool best club in the world???
maybe one or two players would get into the starting eleven of man utd.
they will not win a premier legue in next ten years...From peto.ceco on Mon Mar 24 11:49AMI don't know what match Rafael Benitez and Andy (know it all) Grey were watching but I never saw Mascherano ask 'why?' but I did see several f**** off's. This was purely persisting in misconduct after receiving a caution. He was rightly sent off. Benitez and Grey do a disservice to football by even trying to defend him.
Pound to a penny Liverpool appeal it. I hope the FA slap them with a hefty ban plus extra for frivolity.
From john_wingfield on Mon Mar 24 11:58AMjohn...thank you for writing this...complete true...
From peto.ceco on Mon Mar 24 12:01PMI thought Bennet was just a coward since he never gave any Man U players any cards, but that he dared to give Mascherano the red shows that he is just plain stupid.
From g_tande on Mon Mar 24 12:28PMLET THE SAD MANCS REVEL IN THIS, YOUL NEVER WIN THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!!!!! FERDINAND SHOULD OF GONE TOO HES A DONKEY!
From rbrawn on Mon Mar 24 12:41PMthe footballer is treated like a spoilt kid and you see this when they dont get there own way and thats managers as well , the whole system needs a shake from top to bottom . the fa as tv coveage of the cole show so why they not taken action , again they leave the ref on his own , yes they make mistakes , but the managers and players need a big look at themselves , cole should get a 6 match ban , and one coment said man u dont get bookings much , ask roy keene , all teams get there share the liverpool player was an idiot and the manager is one as well to defend him , so dont matter what team you support players and managers should take responce for the actions on the field , and stop saying its the passion , i not seen much of that ,
From pompey80uk on Mon Mar 24 01:31PMand about red cards did the ref not send man u goalkeeper off at old trafford in the cup and award a penalty , so where is man u being protected , the scouser is a bad loser hey how is barnsly and they should of had a pen just before they scored the 2nd goal , your manager is a waster, and torres was not in the game so cant see were he got hurt from , gerrard is a big cry baby and moans at refs all the time but sly doing it , and as for andy gray comments that sums him up as a total idiot
From pompey80uk on Mon Mar 24 01:41PMBennitez's eagerness to defend Masch's behaviour is the very reason Liverpool go into every Christmas 10 or 20 points behind the league leaders.
It appeared Masch was accusing the referee of sinking the Belgrano. Trying to sink Man U would have been a wiser endeavour. I am a Goooner, and totally pissed off with Masch for handing the game to Man U. But with Arsenal's subsequent defeat to Chelsea it is all irrelevant now.
I just hope the players are equally as stupid when they face Arsenal.
From eliotot on Mon Mar 24 01:46PMmaybe in the eyes(and maybe ears too) of rafa and andy grey. the words fcuk you and fcuk off from mascherano is a "why" in spanish..lol
From jarharnamme on Mon Mar 24 02:06PM
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