Messi is a donkey
Wed Apr 29 08:49AM
Today's water cooler topics: Mexican pigs are going to kill us all; there's a surprising amount of sugar in breakfast cereal; and Lionel Messi isn't really very good at all.
Whenever Barcelona play British opponents they are always hyped to within an inch of their lives, and it is not hard to see why.
They came into last night's game against Chelsea having rattled in 94 goals in 33 league games, 38 more than Chelsea have managed from a game more.
Their 10 Champions League matches had brought another 29 goals. They were the team that could not stop scoring and yet, in front of a prime time terrestrial audience, they fluffed their lines.
Next week they will be on satellite, so there will be no chance for redemption in front of 10 million Emmerdale-watchers until the final.
The man in the pub has spoken, and he has decided that Messi isn't up to much
It might be an ill-informed opinion based on a tiny, unrepresentative sliver of evidence, but ED actually thinks the drunken oik has a point.
You might be the best player in the world, and Messi almost certainly is, but you have to be able to prove it in front of the largest possible audience. Which, in this case, is the slack-jawed masses who are itching for an excuse to switch over to Gok's Fashion Fix.
We are constantly told that Messi has the ability to become an all-time great, but he has not yet invaded popular culture like Zinedine Zidane, Ronaldo or Ronaldinho. He could get on a packed tube train and most people would just assume he was a slightly geeky exchange student.
The phrase 'world-class' is bandied about without anybody knowing exactly what it means, but if it can be defined it must mean that people all over the world will recognise that a player is good.
Everybody knows Diego Maradona because his greatest moments came on the biggest stage - for example, his greatest goal came in a World Cup quarter-final against England.
Messi has scored an equally impressive, eerily similar, goal. Only it came in a midweek game against Getafe.
It might sound like nit-picking against a brilliant player who has stuck a hat-trick past Real Madrid, scored at the World Cup and been involved in about 50 brilliant goals this season alone. But nothing he has done - ever - has stuck in the consciousness of the general public.
Not football fans - the general public. And that is the standard you have to live up to if you want to be considered one of the best of all time.
Anybody who watches football regularly knows Messi is great, but he will have really cracked it when the people who don't watch football also know it.
It is not easy. Most people would boil the career of Zidane down to four moments; brace in World Cup final, volley in Champions League final, stoppage-time double against England, World Cup final headbutt.
The greatest player of the last 20 years gets four snippets of
highlight reel. One of them is an assault, and the Euro 2004 goals only get
remembered because he was sick halfway through. Last night was a chance for
Messi to get his first snippet, and he didn't
do it.
Plenty of great players do not get the wider recognition they deserve because
they do not produce on a global stage. The staggeringly brilliant Francesco
Totti's name is treated with
derision in the UK
because his talents are best showcased in Serie A. Messi cannot fall victim to
the same fate.
Now, the kid is only 21, so ED isn't writing him off as a wasted talent. It is just saying that if Messi is to fulfil his astonishing potential he must do big things on the big stage, so that not even the most football-hating simpleton can forget who he is.
- - -
The scorers of the last five Barcelona goals against English opponents are Juliano Belletti, Deco, Eidur Gudjohnsen, Deco and Gudjohnsen.
Based on that list of Chelsea past and present, any Barca player that does hit the target at Stamford Bridge will probably be playing there full-time next season.
Chelsea fans will therefore be hoping that, if they have to be breached, it will be Messi who scores the goal and not Sylvinho.
- - -
Early Doors needs only the slightest excuse to recycle old material so, in lieu
of any sort of look forward to tonight's
second semi-final, here's a link to
something ED wrote last autumn lamenting the lack of recent aggro between
Manchester United and Arsenal.
And we have even more United-Arsenal nostalgia in the form of a look back at
some of their classic encounters from recent times. Read it.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "We realise the trophy is far from being won. We're merely being sensible in planning ahead."
Manchester United defend themselves after it emerges they are already planning
a Champions League victory parade. ED still has its framed copy of a letter
from Islington council notifying residents of Arsenal's
open-top bus parade in 2006. As it turned out, there wasn't
too much disruption.
FOREIGN VIEW: What's the Spanish for
'boo hoo, it's
not fair'? "El futbol no es
justo con un Barça superior ante un Chelsea
ultradefensivo." That's from El
Mundo Deportivo, and ED won't insult
your intelligence by translating.
COMING UP: It's a match that needs
no introduction, so ED won't bother.
Except this bit. Manchester United v Arsenal,
19:45 UK
time.
Well my gob is well and truly smacked – who predicted a 0-0 last night?
If you accepted the bet Donney, stick it in a Cancer Research tin!
I still think Barca will score and win the return leg as Chelsea have to leave less than 11 men to defend as they need to score!!!!
1st?
From stephenaanderton on Wed Apr 29 08:49AMWell done CFC, see you in Rome! From a red devil
PLEASE let Terry teke a pen......
From twomjc on Wed Apr 29 08:52AMI have just won a holiday to Mexico, I can't go, I am absolutely pig sick!!
From andy_lycett on Wed Apr 29 09:00AMyeah messi wasnt at his best but dont worry he'll have plenty more chances to prove he is 'world class'
From christine_mc_guinness on Wed Apr 29 09:01AMMy missus rang to say the car was low on petrol but she was too scared to fill it up, I had to explain that swine flu was in Mexico not Texaco!!!!
From andy_lycett on Wed Apr 29 09:04AM@ twomjc. Why would a manure fan want to go to Rome to watch Arsenal v Chelsea ?
From london_league_promoter on Wed Apr 29 09:05AMthe BLUES are the king of football in the world, and if you doubt it, see you with bARCA at the great STANFORD BRIDGE........UP BLUES.
From christofex on Wed Apr 29 09:06AMServes you right Andy! Go and do the lottery instead!
Hi guys and especially to Jay and emx
Not tonight Josephine is what SAF will say to Arsen Wenger possibly 3-1!
From jongros on Wed Apr 29 09:06AMdont worry messi not all teams play like chelsea...sh.t ..it b a crime on football if they went threw..all ye have essien 4 is 2 man mark the best players in the world..drogda is the biggest cheat in the game
From johnsack33 on Wed Apr 29 09:08AMdont worry messi not all teams play like chelsea...sh.t ..it b a crime on football if they went threw..all ye have essien 4 is 2 man mark the best players in the world..drogda is the biggest cheat in the game
From johnsack33 on Wed Apr 29 09:08AM# 4
All Chelsea need to do (!) is win their home game 5-4 it doesn't matter as long as they score 1 more goal than their opponents!
Andy,
you missed your vocation - a joker!
Thanks but i want the rest of the pack for Bridge please.From jongros on Wed Apr 29 09:09AMDont think anyone predicted 0-0 but i DID predict a draw. And Chelsea to win the next leg. Possibly in extra time or even pens.
From danny_saks on Wed Apr 29 09:09AMi dont agree early doors-who gives a @#$% whether the general public(who watch `britains got talent` and buy westlife) know an incredible talent or not.it was a pretty ignorant column and not worthy of you.
From jasonsinclairx on Wed Apr 29 09:10AM# 6
counting chickens and egg on your face.
United to win overall and go again to Rome!From jongros on Wed Apr 29 09:12AMYou were right Kev and I agree with you. The European game looks oh-so-pretty and talented, until you put em up against the best of the Prem. Bosingwa had Messi in his pocket for most of the game, Alex was fab and Terry a giant. Cech had to be called on a couple of times, but for most of the game Barca weren't threatening.
From danny_saks on Wed Apr 29 09:12AMOh dear, ED has been sitting at the feet of Jim White and left a sticky deposit there.
Tonight is a gigantic clash of cultures: Gauls versus the Picts (their manager paints his nose blue), the age of enlightenment versus the iindustrial revolution, Mozart versus Wagner, Matisse versus Henry Moore, Proust versus James Joyce, Jimi Hendrix versus Led Zeppelin, Jean Reno versus Sean Bean, Sole meuniere versus fish and chips, espadrilles versus clogs .... I could go and probably will
From james_ssmith on Wed Apr 29 09:12AMMy girlfriend sat and watched a game for the first time in her life yesterday. It was the game Barcelona - Chelsea. She had heard rumors about a stunning, world class player called Lionel Messi, so she decided to watch what's so special about him.
At the end of the game, first thing she said when she called me was: What kind of &%$%$ was that?
CONGRATULATIONS LEO, THANKS TO YOU MY GIRLFRIEND WON'T EVER WATCH FOOTBALL AGAIN! Plus you ruined her beliefs about it.
From fortminor5000 on Wed Apr 29 09:12AMHi Danny if you're that good predict tonight's score and then back it up money wise!
From jongros on Wed Apr 29 09:13AM9-I think Danny Alves nicked the biggest cheater in the world crown last night, little man syndrome for sure!!!!
From andy_lycett on Wed Apr 29 09:14AMLets not get too excited, it was one game. Messi will make up for it at Stamford Bridge where Chelsea will have to try and put one or two attacks together instead of parking their bus infront of their own goal.
From xile2k5 on Wed Apr 29 09:15AM@london_league_promoter
We'll talk tomorrow, if you can show yourselfFrom twomjc on Wed Apr 29 09:16AMJSS-Sasha Distell V Rod Stewart??
From andy_lycett on Wed Apr 29 09:16AMYes, pretty poor article. Beckham's only really famous and therefore "world class" according to this article for scoring a free kick against Greece, I'd hardly put him in the same category as Messi.
From peterdowuk on Wed Apr 29 09:17AM# 18
She only watched coz she sort of fancied Messi.
Barcelona are a good team but only of individuals and a well organised "team" will usually stop them playing their brand of football.
Anyway their defence is very suspect.From jongros on Wed Apr 29 09:17AMGUNNERS SHALL RULE BRING THEM RED DEVILS AND WE'LL SHOOT THEM DOWN,IF NOT TONIGHT THEN NEXT WEEK BUT ALL IN ALL THEY HAVE A WEEK TO LIVE.
From sihle.dlamini on Wed Apr 29 09:18AMAlready did Jon. 2-1 ManYoo.
From danny_saks on Wed Apr 29 09:19AM#22 Kev
Egg on your face as United to win tonight and probably a 0-0 draw at the Emirates to the utter annoyance of my Gunners' mad nephew.From jongros on Wed Apr 29 09:19AMHey ED, can you for a moment forget that you are English and try to describe the last night encounter once again? Me being Bulgarian would say this: Chelsea are pretending to be a big team, so why did they play like the last in EPL with 6 defenders and 4 midfielders? If this was a match between Barcelona and Milan let's say you were going to use the word FEAR to describe the tactics used by Chelsea. Speaking of Italian style of play, now the English teams are playing more defensivelly than any Italian team, so great job on encouraging the dead of Football. The truth is no English team can win the Champions league like Real Madrid and Barcelona did by playing fantasy football. English cowards!
From petko1979 on Wed Apr 29 09:19AMAndy I agree, Alves proved himself to be a detestable littlecnut but I still thing Drogba was the biggest cheater on the pitch. And so did the Barca fans. LOL
From danny_saks on Wed Apr 29 09:20AMHaha, did everyone hear Xavi saying that La Liga is superior to the premiership? The evidence that proves this is not true can be found in one man - Juande Ramos. Anyone who can fail so spectacularly in England and then walk on water in Spain has obviously realised the truth - that it is far easier to manage and win in Spain. Real have won 17 of their last 19 games, are pushing Barca for the title, playing well... yet they got taken to pieces by a Liverpool side that hasn't won their domestic title in nearly 2 decades. Case closed
From agentblue_99 on Wed Apr 29 09:22AM
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