Ooh la la
Tue Mar 25 08:32AM
In what one can only assume was a genuine moment of spontaneous genius, a French waiter who was once serving Early Doors likened French cuisine to English football.
"Eet used to be ze best in ze wurld, but lately zose involved 'ave become complacent and arrogant. Ze whole sing needs a kick up ze ass eef sings are to get betteur," said the friendly serveur, before suggesting ED had its filet de boeuf cooked saignant with a sauce au poivre.
ED took him up on his culinary recommendation but was left slightly disappointed by the meal.
But who could argue with his analysis of the state of the English game?
Steak frites, like the England side, has been falling behind the competition since the 1960s, back when it ruled the world.
The waiter told ED that French cuisine in general has become stagnant over the years and has failed to move with the times. Whereas other countries have embraced other influences to take their food forward - England included - the French have been happy to plod along eating exactly the same food their grandparents did.
You can now find a fusion restaurant without too many problems in Halifax, but you will struggle to find something similarly exotic anywhere in France but Paris.
But while it seems French food is in need of spicing up, or as our waiter pointed out, a kick up ze ass, their football has gone from strength to strength (with the odd dip along the way).
Meanwhile over in England, it is the national football side that needs a boot up the jacksy.
The FA have brought in Fabio Hat to do just that. Whether the Italian has the necessary spice to succeed in his mission remains to be seen, but one thing is certain going into Wednesday's friendly in Paris - it's time for England's footballers to start competing with the likes of our neighbours across the Channel.
- - -
George Burley must have been on the sauce when he denied the weekend's Old Firm derby was the cause of the lengthy list of withdrawals from his first Scotland squad.
Let's take a quick look at the evidence. Out of six who pulled out yesterday, five were pencilled in to play at Ibrox on Saturday. The withdrawals of Barry Ferguson, Allan McGregor, Christian Dailly and Lee McCulloch leave Kris Boyd as the only Rangers man in the squad, while Celtic's Barry Robson cried off leaving just Paul Hartley, Scott Brown, Stephen McManus and Gary Caldwell to fly the Hoops flag.
Interestingly the Rangers website confirmed that at least three of their injured quartet were expected to be fit enough to play in the derby, casting a definite shadow of doubt over the extent of their problems.
New boss Burley towed the party line, saying: "Every one of them wants to play for their country and it wasn't a case of looking at the game coming up on Saturday, it was down to them being injured."
But it seems as though players are far more concerned by the fortunes of their clubs than those of their countries, regardless of whether there is a new manager to impress or not.
- - -
FOREIGN VIEW: The likes of Martin Jol, Sam Allardyce and Lawrie Sanchez may think they were hard done by earlier this season, but they should spare a thought for Francesco Guidolin. The Italian coach has again been sacked, bringing to an end his fourth stint at Serie A club Palermo. Former Rosanero boss Stefano Colantuono has been re-instated, although on past form and with crazy president Maurizio Zamparini - who has a terrible habit of saying what he thinks - at the helm, he is unlikely to make it to the end of the season.
SPACE FILLER OF THE DAY: Some Zamparini classics (and one that beggars belief):
"Italy is a country of farce and ridicule. We are not a normal country."
"At the moment this isn't a group of men, it is a team of little girls."
"If it was up to me I wouldn't pay them any more. I have no intention to go to Palermo because otherwise I would kick each of them in their backside."
And the one that beggars belief:
"When I spoke about Adrian Mutu, describing him as a 'crafty little gypsy' I did not mean to offend him."
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "John Terry is the captain and he deserves to be. He's a great captain and he will carry on being a great captain for Chelsea and England." Dave Becks forgets that Fabio Hat told him not to let the cat out of the bag about who will skipper the side on Wednesday.
TALKING POINT: Here's old_dubya2004's take on yesterday's discussion about referees: "I remember the old saying - 'the referee is not God, you can appeal to God' - it's a pity that some of our megabucks earners don't appreciate what the ref's job is and allow him to get on with it."
For today, what's more important for you? Club or country?
COMING UP: Eurosport's European Power Rankings will be winging their way towards you soon. ED suspects that Manchester United will still be on top of the pile after two wins over the past week.
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IM this storyClub or Country, well it is quite a hard choice isn't it? I guess it depends on who has the better squad and how well the player is doing in that team. That would explain why Owen prefers playing for the National Side more than playing for his club...But then again when you got a player like Adebayor it's all about honor and pride for him I suppose. Togo isn't exactly the best footballing country in the world is it?
It all comes down to the player in the end. The choice they make probably make them appear like hero's or complete jackasses.
From yehia18 on Tue Mar 25 08:50AMBoth are dictated by a poor choice of geography. Having been located in my formative years on the Norfolk/Cambs border, I was cajoled as a child into supporting Norwich. Whereas, I have always been an England supporter. Being a fan of a team that you often see struggling allows you to cope slightly better with the perennial England defeat. Glory supporters (top 4) are so used to winning that they cannot deal with England's continual underachievement, and hence prefer club to country.
Not me, country all the way!
From g_hine on Tue Mar 25 08:53AMClub 1st but whenever the country calls we should answer that call and not turn our backs.
From dark.soul_bullet4myvalentine on Tue Mar 25 08:56AMClub 1st but whenever the country calls we should answer that call and not turn our backs to it.
From dark.soul_bullet4myvalentine on Tue Mar 25 08:57AMAsk not what your country can do for you - more what you can do for your country!
From geelte on Tue Mar 25 09:16AMJust one thing. It is not Fabio HAT, it is Fabio HAIR.
Capello means a hair. Cappello means hat.
From unifauntheatre on Tue Mar 25 09:16AMIn a game SO dominated by money and power surely playing for your country is the only time when you can play with passion and pride and show what spirit you have, players should be proud to play for their country and that should reflect in their performance on the pitch.
From bevandtrev on Tue Mar 25 09:24AMBabel fish disagrees with you suggesting that Capello is a hat
From g_hine on Tue Mar 25 09:25AMJT's recent antics just prove that he can't lead a country. How great would it be if Capello reinstates Beckham as captain for #100...?
From jcverm on Tue Mar 25 09:42AMSince neither Hat nor Hair are Fabio's real surname, Early Doors reserves the right to choose which one it uses. So, while ED's Italian cousin Presto Portelli has confirmed that capello indeed means a single strand of hair, and cappello means hat, his current moniker of Hat will continue to be used on these pages - if only as a knowing nod to poor internet translation sites.
From early.doors on Tue Mar 25 09:48AMBabelfish is not always acccurate, if you try capelli d'angelo (Angel Hair) like the pasta, it translates it as Angel Hats!! That is definitely not right..
From freeandrewdickson on Tue Mar 25 09:54AMThank you for the clarification
From g_hine on Tue Mar 25 09:55AMRooney, Cron, Nani injured said ferguson, cause he won't let his golden boys injured for the title race, come on ,grow up fergie
From doei_figo on Tue Mar 25 09:55AMThe string of articles on Eurosport tells the tale of how badly Becks wants his 100th cap.
First there was "England prepare for Friendly"
Then "Beckham named in team, oh my god go crazy he might get 100 caps oh my god oh my god"
Then "Beckham named in team, is Fabio Capello a nice enough man to let him get the 100th cap?"
Now "Beckham kisses Fabio's behind saying under him they will win"I hope Bentley plays in his place as hes a great player who will be good even by next world cup. Beckham on the other hand is finished, he can come on as a sub for 5 minutes for his 100th cap and then can go and retire. Seriously we need to look to the future England team not dawdle on the past.
From the.clanger on Tue Mar 25 09:57AMI completely disagree with the.clanger. Whilst Becks is now older and potentially not as speedy as in the past, the lacklustre performances played without him, in stark contrast to the apparent change in work ethic of the whole team whilst he is on the pitch shows that sometimes you need a figure like Becks involved in the set up. We do need to look to the future but that needs to be done gently so as to allow us to qualify for future tournaments, no good in 4 years time having a superb team of finely honed youngsters playing kickabout all Summer because we have failed to qualify for another tournament.
From bevandtrev on Tue Mar 25 10:04AMwhilst Becks may still be a good enough player RIGHT at this moment. which on his day he certainly is, im saying better try and start a new era of football with Gerrard as captain. The youngsters may as well start now as they have no giant tournament to mess up in.
From the.clanger on Tue Mar 25 10:19AMI am fed up with every "footballer" giving his two penneth on who should be England captain.(Lampard has not stopped telling us it should be JT). , I thought it was the England managers job to choose? JT might be good enough for Chelsea, but he's hardly a role model with exemplary behaviour is he? Go back to the likes of Bobby Moore, family man, no thuggish behaviour, in this money dominated world it would be good to have a strong character, but one without the thuggish and the big time charlie attitude that goes with most premiership players. Steven Gerrard is one that comes to mind, bit like Moore was, just with more money. No scandal just gets on with the job. Not a pool fan but he gets my vote, long before the likes of Terry or Lampard. They have short memories obviously,and the game needs cleaning up a bit.Bit of old english pride needs to be re-installed into the players and staff , then they can "kiss their badges" as much as they like. Personally, wish "Lamps" would go abroad, he grates on me big time.An overated player,who has a good game now and again and thinks hes a hero. Theres just too many in the game today unfortunately.
From barny1158 on Tue Mar 25 10:51AMClub or country? It's a moot point as most of the top professionals are only interested in playing for themselves.
From phayisin on Tue Mar 25 10:57AMask that question to saint steven gerrard!! he only plays for england when he has something to gain from it...and fergie never lets his players play for england unless he is forced to.....
From laurence.odea on Tue Mar 25 11:06AMA friend of mine once said: "I always choose a club sandwich over a country pancake". Yes, he was English.
From eliotot on Tue Mar 25 11:08AM'An overated player,who has a good game now and again and thinks he's a hero' - hmm, sounds like Steven Gerrard to me. But maybe I am biased. I've been a Chelsea supporter for over 30 years, so, g_hine, I'm not a glory supporter and have had plenty more misses than hits with the Blues. In fact 20 years of mediocrity prepared me pretty well for being an England supporter. But, personally, I hope they both win.
From stevejohnwaller on Tue Mar 25 11:23AMPeople who don't play for their country if they have an opportunity are just lazy pigs, they still get paid anyway, and if their country really needs them, and they refuse, and the country screws up, in a way, it's the players fault.
From ryanho0001 on Tue Mar 25 11:32AMOf course they want to play for their clubs! That's were they earn their money...
From g_tande on Tue Mar 25 11:38AMDear Early Door as you are probably all very exited about your 2-1 defeat to France on Wednesday. As usual it will be the same on the pitch : Our good ol friend Robinson will be making dives like he is looking for pearls, Gerard Will Look like he has been by a drunk alien, Rooney will be chating with the midfield. This is a time for heroes so SWP and Joe Cole will be trying their hardest to play Lampard (if he even plays) the only difference will be that you will have a sweaty Italian on the dugout shouting swears in an unknown Language, that is so laim. Croatia would have had a standing chance of wining the Euro 2008 until you broke his leg ( I am Part of a conspiracy group that believes that Steve Maclaren
, the England first team, and the FA and of Course Don Fabio have paid Taylor to brake the kids leg I.T.A.L.I.A.N style. I am Happy that the English team failed to qualify because Switzerland will be a better place without you boo boying, boose drinking, Riot starting fans. Switzerland will be happy not to Deal with Your Pub league. So Ed IF YOU HAVE READ THIS YOU WILL GO TO BED LESS IGNORANT AND HOPFULLZ LESS E.N.G.L.I.S.HFrom stephann009 on Tue Mar 25 12:28PMJohn F. Kennedy once said,"Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country." Kicking around a football for 90mins, like a schoolboy, isn't asking much.
From jasondharrison on Tue Mar 25 12:35PMDon't clubs make the decision to release players or is the tail wagging the dog?
From peter.mccrory1 on Tue Mar 25 12:41PMI don't have a problem with people who support their local team, even if their team is one of the big four. However, the big four are the only clubs that attract glory supporters who will prefer the club to country for the reasons stated above. I will never understand, however, why people start supporting a team that they have no connection to (through either geographical location or familiaral support) .
From g_hine on Tue Mar 25 01:31PMstephann009, Commendable attempt at E.N.G.L.I.S.H., but please do emigrate off to those Spanish boards as you threatened yesterday. I get a headache trying to read your posts.
From g_hine on Tue Mar 25 01:37PMHmmmm, perhaps you should follow Mr Garrison's lead and ditch Mr Hat for Mr Twig or even Mr Slave...?
"That's right, Mr. Garrison. Christopher Columbus discovered America and was the Indians' best friend. He helped the Indians win their war against Frederick Douglass and freed the Hebrews from Napoleon and discovered France." -- Mr. Garrison's hand puppet Mr. Hat
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr_Garrison
From simondenham on Tue Mar 25 02:36PMThe club versus country arguement should be ,if you are chosen to play for your said country you should do so. Seems Sir Fergie has yet again won that one, withdrawing the likes of Ronaldo,Nani etc.. Might be something to do with Man U chairman David Gill working at F.A headquarters?? Or maybe Fregie pulling the preverbial "fast one" in order to keep the prem title in his hands? Who knows, the game is becoming a joke, one rule for Fergie and the likes of and another for everyone else. I am all for competition, as long as its fair for everyone, no exceptions. Bet Ronaldo soon recovers from his painful left leg in time for the weekend?
From barny1158 on Tue Mar 25 02:40PM
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