Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Ooh la la

Tue Mar 25 08:32AM

In what one can only assume was a genuine moment of spontaneous genius, a French waiter who was once serving Early Doors likened French cuisine to English football.

"Eet used to be ze best in ze wurld, but lately zose involved 'ave become complacent and arrogant. Ze whole sing needs a kick up ze ass eef sings are to get betteur," said the friendly serveur, before suggesting ED had its filet de boeuf cooked saignant with a sauce au poivre.

ED took him up on his culinary recommendation but was left slightly disappointed by the meal.

But who could argue with his analysis of the state of the English game?

Steak frites, like the England side, has been falling behind the competition since the 1960s, back when it ruled the world.

The waiter told ED that French cuisine in general has become stagnant over the years and has failed to move with the times. Whereas other countries have embraced other influences to take their food forward - England included - the French have been happy to plod along eating exactly the same food their grandparents did.

You can now find a fusion restaurant without too many problems in Halifax, but you will struggle to find something similarly exotic anywhere in France but Paris.

But while it seems French food is in need of spicing up, or as our waiter pointed out, a kick up ze ass, their football has gone from strength to strength (with the odd dip along the way).

Meanwhile over in England, it is the national football side that needs a boot up the jacksy.

The FA have brought in Fabio Hat to do just that. Whether the Italian has the necessary spice to succeed in his mission remains to be seen, but one thing is certain going into Wednesday's friendly in Paris - it's time for England's footballers to start competing with the likes of our neighbours across the Channel.

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George Burley must have been on the sauce when he denied the weekend's Old Firm derby was the cause of the lengthy list of withdrawals from his first Scotland squad.

Let's take a quick look at the evidence. Out of six who pulled out yesterday, five were pencilled in to play at Ibrox on Saturday. The withdrawals of Barry Ferguson, Allan McGregor, Christian Dailly and Lee McCulloch leave Kris Boyd as the only Rangers man in the squad, while Celtic's Barry Robson cried off leaving just Paul Hartley, Scott Brown, Stephen McManus and Gary Caldwell to fly the Hoops flag.

Interestingly the Rangers website confirmed that at least three of their injured quartet were expected to be fit enough to play in the derby, casting a definite shadow of doubt over the extent of their problems.

New boss Burley towed the party line, saying: "Every one of them wants to play for their country and it wasn't a case of looking at the game coming up on Saturday, it was down to them being injured."

But it seems as though players are far more concerned by the fortunes of their clubs than those of their countries, regardless of whether there is a new manager to impress or not.

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FOREIGN VIEW: The likes of Martin Jol, Sam Allardyce and Lawrie Sanchez may think they were hard done by earlier this season, but they should spare a thought for Francesco Guidolin. The Italian coach has again been sacked, bringing to an end his fourth stint at Serie A club Palermo. Former Rosanero boss Stefano Colantuono has been re-instated, although on past form and with crazy president Maurizio Zamparini - who has a terrible habit of saying what he thinks - at the helm, he is unlikely to make it to the end of the season.

SPACE FILLER OF THE DAY: Some Zamparini classics (and one that beggars belief):

"Italy is a country of farce and ridicule. We are not a normal country."

"At the moment this isn't a group of men, it is a team of little girls."

"If it was up to me I wouldn't pay them any more. I have no intention to go to Palermo because otherwise I would kick each of them in their backside."

And the one that beggars belief:

"When I spoke about Adrian Mutu, describing him as a 'crafty little gypsy' I did not mean to offend him."

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "John Terry is the captain and he deserves to be. He's a great captain and he will carry on being a great captain for Chelsea and England." Dave Becks forgets that Fabio Hat told him not to let the cat out of the bag about who will skipper the side on Wednesday.

TALKING POINT: Here's old_dubya2004's take on yesterday's discussion about referees: "I remember the old saying - 'the referee is not God, you can appeal to God' - it's a pity that some of our megabucks earners don't appreciate what the ref's job is and allow him to get on with it."

For today, what's more important for you? Club or country?

COMING UP: Eurosport's European Power Rankings will be winging their way towards you soon. ED suspects that Manchester United will still be on top of the pile after two wins over the past week.

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