Rio Grande
Wed Mar 26 08:39AM
Well, we never saw that one coming, did we? Here was Early Doors smugly suggesting yesterday that Dave Becks had dropped a clanger by letting slip that John Terry would lead England out in Paris tonight, only for none other than Rio Ferdinand to be handed the armband instead.
Maybe there is a career in Hollywood for Becks after all, as the man dubbed 'the English OJ Simpson' (for the sports star/movie actor link rather than in any police chase/murder case sense) put in a virtuoso performance to convince the assembled hacks and a large television audience that JT would reclaim the captaincy in Paris.
And why wouldn't we believe Becks? He's always been straight down the line with us in the past. At least ED wasn't the only one fooled - the majority of the papers ran stories on JT's comeback yesterday morning.
So what about Rio? His appointment is sure to divide opinion.
First up, he's a Manchester United player, and all those 'real' England fans with a history of booing United players wearing the Three Lions on their chest will be rather piqued at the thought of another Red leading out their beloved team.
And don't forget this is a man who was slapped with an eight month ban from football for forgetting to piss in a pot four years ago, a reckless decision that cost him the chance to play at Euro 2004 - and seriously undermined England's chances in Portugal.
His critics may also point out that Rio is reportedly a big fan of a real contender for the title of 'worst role model in the world', Snoop Dogg. Rio even looks a little like the dope smoking, gin and juice guzzling gangster rapper (who has also dabbled in the porn film industry, just for good measure). Rio's nickname around Carrington? That's right, Snoop.
And it doesn't end there. Rio's less than exemplary record boasts a lengthy list of driving offences - he's been banned four times - and he also has homophobic form, calling Radio One deejay Chris Moyles a "faggot" live on air in 2006.
But, perhaps most unforgivably, he brought to the general public the epically terrible television show Rio's World Cup Wind-ups back in 2006. Thank heavens the follow up - Rio's All Star Wind-ups - was axed before it had a chance to pollute the airwaves. There really is no need for another Jeremy Beadle - may he rest in peace - just yet.
And that's without even mentioning his latest venture - Celebrity Rap Idol is probably the best way of describing it - a programme we can all look forward to avoiding like the plague very soon. "Tonight Mathew, I'm going to be Snoop Dogg, and donchya forgeddit, bee-yatch!" ED can just imagine it.
On the other hand, making Rio captain could well be the making of the man and the faith Fabio Hat (aka Fabio Single Strand of Hair) has shown in him just goes to show how far he has come over recent years.
On the pitch, Rio's United form has been imperious this season and whenever he turns out for England, he rarely puts a foot wrong. Whereas JT prefers to shout and lead from the front in the traditional manner of a captain, Rio quietly marshals his defence and leads by example.
Of course, Don Fabio is only trying Rio out and he won't make a final decision on a permanent captain until the World Cup qualifiers start in September.
But if Rio does get the job full-time, ED believes he has the potential to drive the England team forward, albeit in a blacked-out Hummer with a personalised diamond-encrusted number plate.
And at the very least, it shows Fabio Hat is willing to overlook past indiscretions and move on - and he deserves a pat on the back for doing so. Actually, hang on a minute. Does that mean an upturn in Joey Barton's form could see him win a recall? Oh dear.
- - -
When the news broke that Rio had been named captain, ED couldn't help but wonder if the confidence Becks had displayed earlier in the week at winning his 100th cap at the Stade de France was as much of a sham as his barefaced 'JT is captain' lie.
Fortunately it wasn't just bravado, and Becks will tonight join the very exclusive 100 club.
Cynics may say it is simply a sentimental cap, a designer one if you will, and when he is taken off on 60 minutes to a rousing standing ovation, that will be that. England career over.
Others, including his manager, believe he can keep going until the 2010 World Cup, a view which will have the marketing men rubbing their hands with glee.
Beckham is the cash cow to end all bovine money makers.
And to prove it, his boot manufacturers have already jumped on the bandwagon by forging a pair of golden boots embroidered with the number 100 on the tongues, which he will run out in tonight.
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FOREIGN VIEW: "England have excellent players. The only difference is that Brazil has won the World Cup five times and England one time." Yeah, thanks for rubbing it in Mr Dunga.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I don't have to explain my decisions to anyone. We need to be role models when we play for England and for our clubs. Part of this involves fair play and respect towards the referee and the public who come to see the games." Capello hints at why he overlooked John Terry for the captaincy in Paris.
TALKING POINT: "Hmmmm," mused simondenham on yesterday's controversial topic of Fabio Capello's Babelfish-inspired nickname. "Perhaps you should follow Mr Garrison's lead and ditch Mr Hat for Mr Twig or even Mr Slave."
As for today, let's have your thoughts on the England captaincy debate.
COMING UP: There may well be no Karim Benzema on show but with Rio Ferdinand leading England out for the first time and David Beckham winning his 100th cap, tonight's game is rather unmissable. You can follow live text commentary on the match in Paris right here from 2000 GMT, as well as Scotland's clash with those pesky Croatians at the same time.
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IM this storyI'm just waiting for Capello's pre-match interview where he will say
"Siete stati Merck'd. Realmente John Terry è il capitano"(Thanks be to Babelfish)
From g_hine on Wed Mar 26 08:51AMYou would probably be hard pushed to find an England footballer with a spotless record of any type these days. If they are not having it away with some skirt, it's drink driving, gambling issues, beating up their wives/girlfriends/mistresses, behaving like yobs, gang harrassing refs.....the list goes on. We don't need Mother Theresa as captain (even if she wasn't dead, I don't think her legs would be up to 90 minutes of top class football, and she would always be running off the pitch to save any nearby orphans) but a decent guy who can play and has the respect of the other players (for what little that is worth considering their collective IQ) will do me. At least Fab Hat/Hair has the opportunity to try before he buys. Here's my punt - Rio gives Becks the armband when he comes on (presuming he doesn't start) since all other 100 cap winners were either captain already or were given the armband to mark the occasion.
From andywalker269 on Wed Mar 26 08:59AMDunga is a dungu! For those who dont know, dungu means idiot in Malay.
From hariharan91 on Wed Mar 26 09:11AMNo worries for JT - Rio will probably put the armband down somewhere and forget where!
From michelangeloindeed on Wed Mar 26 09:17AM"Part of this involves fair play and respect towards the referee and the public who come to see the games"
Obviously, this is not the same respect that is gained from punching somebody in a tackle.
From g_hine on Wed Mar 26 09:22AMAshley Cole for England captain!! Why not.... every other thug in the team is getting in on the act, its almost like the captaincy is being used as a form of rehabilitation!!
From cmcmulkin01 on Wed Mar 26 09:33AMrio better than mad man terry
From yvonbell on Wed Mar 26 09:38AMBah Humbug!!!
From jkr_73 on Wed Mar 26 09:43AMBah humbug!!
From jkr_73 on Wed Mar 26 09:43AMI doubt that Rio would end up as permanent captain. Vice perhaps. But permanent? I think Gerrard would get the captaincy in the long run (Then again I'm a Liverpoolian so of course I'd think so). As for JT, let's hope that Capello sticks by his decipline motto. I sure don't want to see JT running around like a fool intimidating the ref in a big game. The last thing England needs is a Captain (AKA Role Model) who goes day in and day out on the pitch (With Chelsea of course) and gives the refs a hard time.
From yehia18 on Wed Mar 26 09:48AMI belive Steven Gerrard should get the captaincy as what better role model could you get than him.
From marshall437 on Wed Mar 26 10:04AMHerr Capello has gone over the top. Not only the devaluation of the captaincy but making the poor darlings take their ballet class in the snow. lets hope we see a few pas de deux tonight past the French defence allez les blancs!
From peter.mccrory1 on Wed Mar 26 10:15AMCluck Cluck
From cluckcluckss on Wed Mar 26 10:27AM!!NEWSFLASH!! it turns out the whole "fabio hat" thing isn't funny. Wasn't to begin with, isn't now.
From simonwilliams666 on Wed Mar 26 10:32AMNobody seems to be suggesting the return of Becks as captain !!! Ha! Ha!
I think a match like this should be used to look at younger players?
Becks gave up football ( as we know it ) when he went to the States for the money.From djhardman2008 on Wed Mar 26 10:47AMI might be the only person who thinks this could be a good idea. O.k of the pitch Rio is a twat but on it he is the best defender in the prem and he has always reminded me of(Sir)Bobby Moore. A bit far fetched, I dont think so.
From benbear76 on Wed Mar 26 10:53AMThe "JT" loses captaincy story is a big non-event. Capello said at the start he would rotate the captaincy for the four friendlies - and that is what he is doing. He would hardly give it back to JT without trying a few others and he couldn't give it to JT this time as its his first time with the squad. JT will get one of the next two and maybe someone else will as well. By the WC quallies, Capello will have got to know everyone. Maybe JT will get it and maybe not. Personally, I'd give it to him - the only reason all the Mancs and Reds hate him is that he plays for Chelsea but if he were their captain, they would love him. So he has a go at refs from time to time. Boo hoo; big deal! What do they want? A Captain Invisible (Gerrard) or Captain Retired (Jamie C) or Captain Absent (Rio) or Captain Grunt (Rooney) or Captain Kid (Walcott - sorry, only Arsenal Englishman to choose from. No, it has to be Terry long-term - he will emerge as the leader in the dressing room anyway.
From michelangeloindeed on Wed Mar 26 10:53AM!!NEWSFLASH!! Somepeople have a sense of humour and take "fabio hat" as that. If you are that bothered by it stop reading - unbunch ya panties and drop your handbag!
As a Gooner I guess I dont have much right to say anything about the england team, but I still reckon Gerrard is the best bet!From gary_parratt on Wed Mar 26 10:53AMPersonally i say give becks the armband. Mainly because of a) the occasion it will be given, b) He's got more international experience than anyone else walking onto the pitch c) yes he is a good role model on the pitch and off it (even if it is only because of advertising or whatever else)
Long term, obviously becks wont be in the picture, and personally id love Barry to get the captaincy (sorry villa thru and thru lol), but obviously that wont happen, and the 'big names' will be chosen - so id go with Stevie Gee...
From neo_booie on Wed Mar 26 11:06AMHere's the real reason why Rio's been made captain - http://www.overthebar.co.uk/?p=169
From kingkongbassett on Wed Mar 26 11:12AMWhy all the fuss over who wears the "captains" armband? The only thing he has to do is call heads or tails at the start of the match, all the tactics and/or positional alterations (if any) are yelled from the touch line or are conveyed during one of the many sham injury breaks! The mascot could do it; now where is Ken Bailey?
From safire183 on Wed Mar 26 11:22AMIf "Part of this involves fair play and respect towards the referee and the public who come to see the games" Why not drop him and make a real point?
From freeandrewdickson on Wed Mar 26 11:23AMWho cares who's captain, it's over hyped and overated. True leaders rise from the crowd, whether they have an armband around their arm or not won't make any difference. JT will still try to lead the team, as will the likes of Gerrard, Rio and even the unmentioned Rooney who's probs got more passion for the game than anyone else on the team.
From double_t_uk2002 on Wed Mar 26 11:26AMI think they should make Robbie Savage captain, then he could go round kicking the ten English gits under his charge.
From john_comber on Wed Mar 26 11:28AMWhat is all this role-model business? It is nonsense, we just need players who win games, and captains who drive and motivate players on the pitch. I wouldn't care if it was the Kray twins up front, as long as they bagged 10 goals each on the way to us winning the world cup.
Anyway, I don't care how much charity work they are forced to do by their PR teams, we all know, if it wasn't for football, Rooney and half the others would be investing their dole money on knuckle-dusters used to incapacitate victims prior to relieving them of their money and possessions. I am sure they would get a healthy return on the investment too.
Becks is meant to be the best role model since Jesus - a girly, vain ponce (how many haircuts does a guy need really), a sell-out who ended up prioritising cash over professional integrity and pride (LA Galaxy? for ****'s sake), a marketing tool, a guy who married a woman of questionable virtue who parades her fake, barely concealed boobs on TV and in magazines at every opportunity...I could go on. Role model for whom exactly?
That we put the chap on a @#$%tal anyway, despite the fact he also can't dribble or tackle, means that he must have the best right foot in the history of time.
Ahem, tongue removed from cheek, and rant over.
From alsltd on Wed Mar 26 11:31AMJT,JT,JT,IS THE BEST CAPTAIN IN ENGLAND HISTORY AND FUTURE AND PRESENT
From babbadmaldeed on Wed Mar 26 11:32AMI would give it to David James, none of the out players are good enough to be a captain
From brian.longworth2 on Wed Mar 26 11:34AMI would give it to Dr Dre, Snoop Dog can't even remember to take a whiz..(that's pee not not the drugs) and 50 Cents should be the manager then he can have his two penneth worth! And Eminem could partner Rooney up front..Stan & Wayne what a partnership...and Becks can stay out wide with the So Solid Crew..I mean is kids!
From andy_cooper087 on Wed Mar 26 11:44AMSince Rio likes Snoop Dog who has been involved in adult entertainment DVDs, does that mean Rio is also mates with Paul Jewell??
From andywalker269 on Wed Mar 26 11:59AMwell i belive capello is the manager of the team and he decideds who put,s on the cap band on and moreover the most important thing is for the players to go out there to put up a good show which is more important than the cap band this is all a public show and recognition which i see as irrelevant the aim is win the matchand keep the name of the country going instead of worrying over cap band
From jcliworld1 on Wed Mar 26 12:17PM
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