Wed Mar 26 08:39AM
Well, we never saw that one coming, did we? Here was Early Doors smugly suggesting yesterday that Dave Becks had dropped a clanger by letting slip that John Terry would lead England out in Paris tonight, only for none other than Rio Ferdinand to be handed the armband instead.
Maybe there is a career in Hollywood for Becks after all, as the man dubbed 'the English OJ Simpson' (for the sports star/movie actor link rather than in any police chase/murder case sense) put in a virtuoso performance to convince the assembled hacks and a large television audience that JT would reclaim the captaincy in Paris.
And why wouldn't we believe Becks? He's always been straight down the line with us in the past. At least ED wasn't the only one fooled - the majority of the papers ran stories on JT's comeback yesterday morning.
So what about Rio? His appointment is sure to divide opinion.
First up, he's a Manchester United player, and all those 'real' England fans with a history of booing United players wearing the Three Lions on their chest will be rather piqued at the thought of another Red leading out their beloved team.
And don't forget this is a man who was slapped with an eight month ban from football for forgetting to piss in a pot four years ago, a reckless decision that cost him the chance to play at Euro 2004 - and seriously undermined England's chances in Portugal.
His critics may also point out that Rio is reportedly a big fan of a real contender for the title of 'worst role model in the world', Snoop Dogg. Rio even looks a little like the dope smoking, gin and juice guzzling gangster rapper (who has also dabbled in the porn film industry, just for good measure). Rio's nickname around Carrington? That's right, Snoop.
And it doesn't end there. Rio's less than exemplary record boasts a lengthy list of driving offences - he's been banned four times - and he also has homophobic form, calling Radio One deejay Chris Moyles a "faggot" live on air in 2006.
But, perhaps most unforgivably, he brought to the general public the epically terrible television show Rio's World Cup Wind-ups back in 2006. Thank heavens the follow up - Rio's All Star Wind-ups - was axed before it had a chance to pollute the airwaves. There really is no need for another Jeremy Beadle - may he rest in peace - just yet.
And that's without even mentioning his latest venture - Celebrity Rap Idol is probably the best way of describing it - a programme we can all look forward to avoiding like the plague very soon. "Tonight Mathew, I'm going to be Snoop Dogg, and donchya forgeddit, bee-yatch!" ED can just imagine it.
On the other hand, making Rio captain could well be the making of the man and the faith Fabio Hat (aka Fabio Single Strand of Hair) has shown in him just goes to show how far he has come over recent years.
On the pitch, Rio's United form has been imperious this season and whenever he turns out for England, he rarely puts a foot wrong. Whereas JT prefers to shout and lead from the front in the traditional manner of a captain, Rio quietly marshals his defence and leads by example.
Of course, Don Fabio is only trying Rio out and he won't make a final decision on a permanent captain until the World Cup qualifiers start in September.
But if Rio does get the job full-time, ED believes he has the potential to drive the England team forward, albeit in a blacked-out Hummer with a personalised diamond-encrusted number plate.
And at the very least, it shows Fabio Hat is willing to overlook past indiscretions and move on - and he deserves a pat on the back for doing so. Actually, hang on a minute. Does that mean an upturn in Joey Barton's form could see him win a recall? Oh dear.
- - -
When the news broke that Rio had been named captain, ED couldn't help but wonder if the confidence Becks had displayed earlier in the week at winning his 100th cap at the Stade de France was as much of a sham as his barefaced 'JT is captain' lie.
Fortunately it wasn't just bravado, and Becks will tonight join the very exclusive 100 club.
Cynics may say it is simply a sentimental cap, a designer one if you will, and when he is taken off on 60 minutes to a rousing standing ovation, that will be that. England career over.
Others, including his manager, believe he can keep going until the 2010 World Cup, a view which will have the marketing men rubbing their hands with glee.
Beckham is the cash cow to end all bovine money makers.
And to prove it, his boot manufacturers have already jumped on the bandwagon by forging a pair of golden boots embroidered with the number 100 on the tongues, which he will run out in tonight.
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FOREIGN VIEW: "England have excellent players. The only difference is that Brazil has won the World Cup five times and England one time." Yeah, thanks for rubbing it in Mr Dunga.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I don't have to explain my decisions to anyone. We need to be role models when we play for England and for our clubs. Part of this involves fair play and respect towards the referee and the public who come to see the games." Capello hints at why he overlooked John Terry for the captaincy in Paris.
TALKING POINT: "Hmmmm," mused simondenham on yesterday's controversial topic of Fabio Capello's Babelfish-inspired nickname. "Perhaps you should follow Mr Garrison's lead and ditch Mr Hat for Mr Twig or even Mr Slave."
As for today, let's have your thoughts on the England captaincy debate.
COMING UP: There may well be no Karim Benzema on show but with Rio Ferdinand leading England out for the first time and David Beckham winning his 100th cap, tonight's game is rather unmissable. You can follow live text commentary on the match in Paris right here from 2000 GMT, as well as Scotland's clash with those pesky Croatians at the same time.
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I think Paul Jewell will be happy to read this.ha ha ha ha
I have this suspicion that Paul Jewell staged the recording to take the emphasis off his recently dire managerial record. To think I wanted Jewell over Glenn Roeder(!)
O well the Chelsea fans are out in force today. Shame they have the same moronic undertones as their "captain" .Some people remember when the game was not as tarnished as it appears to be now,but there again the world has changed somewhat and not for the better. Seems everyone commenting on who should be captain should put aside their "club biases" for a minute. No one is suggesting the captain has to be "mother theresa" but a little dignity please. As for there not being a footballer out there that isn't suspect in some way, I beg to differ. Too many footballers live their private lives for all to see, and whilst that may appeal to half the "fans" that watch games, some of us don't want to know their every move, nor who they may be sleeping with, or what drugs they may be taking, but the bottom line is, footballers should take a few lessons from their predecessors, (excluding george best due to his obvious problems,and a handful of others not worthy of mentioning.) Most of them did not caught the limelight such as the prem stars of today, they played their game until retirement, and flittered off into the sunset. The saying too much money and not enough brains comes to mind with most of them. shame the hunger for fame and money outways any morals or ethics they may have grown up with. The footie stars don't set any examples in my view, they do things wrong and then suddenly make charity donations to take the heat off themselves. Bunch of hypocrites, albeit rich ones. Some decorum back in the game please, the kids of today don't need any more bad influences, unfortunately.
I don't see how Rio can become captain. What is a match official to due when a captain runs down to him and says brrrap half the time? Book him for the improper use of the English language?
Improper use of the English Language? Mr Hatefi you have spelt 'do' as 'due'. How did you manage that? Yellow card for you......
lol alsltd! Spat tea all over my desk haha. Theres a couple of invoices ruined 
looool ali you got MERKD!
The first time that i ever heard Beckham speak in 1995 i thought he was taking the piss.(not in Rio's pot by the way).Sure the boy's voice might have deepened in the last few years but for @; [ sake come on!.This overated choir boy is so squeaky even my dog can't pick up his frequency.If Beckham does manage to continue to 2010 ill probably be deaf by the time im 30.So what if he's geting his 100 caps anyway.The man has more f"*&^in cars.
From: JoniBee265
i timk its gd dat he is giving different players trial 4 captaincy b4 qualify 4 de world cup
Who gives a @#$% what anybody does off the pitch? Ii think Rio's chasing skirt is a sign of good health and mental alertness. But most wimpy Englishmen wouldn't agree! Now we know why the FA won't ask a wimp to manage the national side!
Fabio Capello has a much better grasp of the English language than half the people commenting in this forum..If your Jamacian then i apologise,But come on, whats with all this text speak.Even gansta rapa Rio would'nt crop his words like that. ya man al the peeepal rr vicki pallards on dis site.shut up i nevr even said somein or nuffin cause u didddnt evn ear wat i said.
wag1 tina, wat tings r gwanin ma lil sprigadee lol
People in glass houses...
Your = possessive, I think you meant "If you're Jamaican"
My mistake alsltd. I admit to the mistake and dont want to argue over the booking since I would be sent off for dissent. It would be difficult for me to face a one day ban from ED!
Wow I read your column every morning and that "rant" on Rio Ferd. was uncalled for, who he decides to listen to in his personnel life has no effect on him being captain. You can definitely find worse than Snoop, for speeding violations come up with more. It is for 1 friendly calm down. I guess one rant master prefers another (JT is also a rant master)
People in glass houses...
Your= possessive, I think you meant "If you're Jamaican". How sad are you.Your supposed to say something relating to the article.Not just be a dick.
Now-now, if you can't say anything nice...
How about not having a captain? And then instead of one player setting an example for the others, all the players play at their best for once...
Your supposed to say something relating to the article.Not just be a dick.
I think you mean "You're" supposed lol 
rio is the best defender in the world
i love him
I simply love ED and the fact that it only refers to itself in the third person.
I find it so funny and unfair that ED has likened Rio to Snoop. In all faireness everything about Rio reminds me of snoop. What is unfair is that ED has brought it out too bluntly....
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