Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Ronaldo: False and abusive

Tue Jun 23 08:46AM

Yesterday afternoon, a statement came through from Cristiano Ronaldo's management company Gestifute saying in no uncertain terms that all of the supposed quotes attributed to him in recent days were complete rubbish.

It read: "Given the strident way that statements allegedly attributed to Cristiano Ronaldo have been printed, particularly in the English media, Gestifute reiterates what it recently stated: Cristiano Ronaldo has been silent since he went on holiday and all statements (in which he is supposedly quoted) are totally false and abusive.

"The best player in the world - who is spending the off-season with his family - has not, to date, given any interviews, nor will he in the next few days. As a result, it can be restated here that any statements that are still being attributed to him are devoid of truth and authenticity and must not be taken seriously."

OK, well let's break that little rant down a little.

"Silent since he went on holiday" - Well, ED imagines it wasn't Paris Hilton's conversational abilities that attracted Ronaldo. And anyone would be rendered speechless by the quite hideous pink burberry cap and lavender sleeveless top combo he was pictured wearing yesterday.

Yet while the British press is mischievous, it tends not to simply invent quotes out of thin air, especially those as widely reported as Ronaldo's recent (non-)utterances. Yet, apparently, he never said: "After we won the European Cup I thought there is no more I can achieve here," nor did he say: "It's time to look forward and 80 million is quite a sum of money. This deal is historic."

"...totally false and abusive" - Steady on! Abusive? To whom? If ED wanted an abusive statement it would ask Joe Kinnear. Confusing.

"The best player in the world" - Enough about Leo Messi. Has Ronaldo said anything?

"...who is spending the off-season with his family" - Since when was Miss Hilton, or indeed the entourage he had trailing round L.A.with him, family? Now that really would be a story.

"...nor will he in the next few days." Well, within hours of Gestifute's seething denial, Ronaldo was widely quoted as saying his departure was by mutual agreement, then (allegedly) told the Portuguese press he had passed his medical with Real.

More false, abusive lies? ED remains to be convinced.

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What's in a name? Manchester United will be hoping not very much if there is any substance to reports in the Times that they have identified the player to replace Cristiano Ronaldo at Old Trafford.

He is called Douglas.

Of all the glorious names with which Brazilian football has provided us - Jairzinho, Garrincha, er, Roque Junior - United have set their sights on a player who sounds like a bank clerk.

On racking its brains to think up the most famous people called Douglas, Early Doors came up with the following meagre selection: Former Tory cabinet minister Douglas Hurd, sci-fi author Douglas Adams, Second World War fighter ace Douglas Bader and former snooker world number five Doug Mountjoy.

You might think, given that Brazilian players are basically allowed to choose their own name, he would at least at a superfluous 'Ze', '-inho' or '-ao', but Douglas it remains. The dullest Brazilian football name this side of Fluminense midfielder Alan and Internacional striker Walter.

Mind you, Real Madrid have just broken the bank to sign some bloke whose name is mud. And the ever-so-chucklesome Kaka.

Has ED done the name Douglas a disservice? Do you know any famous or notable Dougs? If there are enough decent suggestions on the message board we might even have a Douglas parade tomorrow.

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The extent of Newcastle United's cost-cutting became apparent yesterday with the release of their new away kit, for which they could only afford one colour of dye.

How else do you explain this abomination, which must be the first strip in football history to comprise of yellow-and-yellow stripes?

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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "There is a lot said and written about me in the last few weeks and not many nice things, but that's life. I get used to it - people write you off but when I scored a goal in the World Cup at 18, people were writing me off six months later. Then I was scoring a hat-trick in Germany and winning trophies with Liverpool and then they write you off again. I'll come back. I'll play well and score goals once more. Everyone will be quiet for six months and I'll have two or three bad games then people will say, 'he's about to turn 30 and his legs have gone'. It's not like I've murdered anyone. You've got to be thick-skinned."

It appears Michael Owen's injury problems also stretch to the dermatological; Early Doors suggests some of that E45 hand cream. But on the plus side, he hasn't murdered anyone.

FOREIGN VIEW: Egypt have blamed their Confederations Cup exit on media "lies" about their players consorting with prostitutes after beating world champions Italy.

Head of mission Mahmoud Taher said that the team had been stunned by local newspaper reports. He said the team, knocked out on Sunday after losing 3-0 to the United States, had in fact been robbed at their hotel.

"The players have been really subjected to terrible damage in Egypt and they are in a very bad mood right now due to the false allegations that were published in the newspapers here," he said.