Football's Twitterati
Fri Jun 26 08:53AM
It might just be texting on the internet, and it is most definitely baffling to anyone born before 1990, but Twitter is huge.
It played a prominent role in recent protests about the Iranian election, and it is how many people heard the news of Michael Jackson's death.
Several papers lead this morning with the fact that the Queen sent Andy Murray a letter of congratulation for winning the tennis tournament named after her.
That little nugget of 'news' came straight from Murray's
Twitter account, although oddly none of the tabloids have picked up on the
'tennis player-snack name game' he has been playing since his straight-sets win
against Ernests Gulbis.
Murray's
suggestions: John MacEnrolo, Cod woodbridge,
mardy fishcakes, prawn borg, martina haggis, mince spadea, egg rusedski,
spotted dick Norman, Juan martin del popcorn, vania
kingsize mars bar, gilles muller fruit corner. Novak Yorkie-ovic.
Serena Williams's page provides high comedy, not least in the following eight-stage rant about rules in the Wimbledon locker room.
'Hey! So, let's talk about Rules at the workplace, Rules that do NOT make sense! 1:24 PM Jun 22nd from web'
'There is a NEW rule at the tournament that I disagree with so I want to hold an open conversation about "Rules that do NOT make sense." 1:29 PM Jun 22nd from web'
'So, I am not pleased with this NO EATING in the Locker Room Rule. I was informed before my match that I can NOT eat in the locker room, now! 1:35 PM Jun 22nd from web'
'What doesn't make sense is that there was a lady placing bananas & health bars out for myself & the other players. How much sense does make? 1:38 PM Jun 22nd from web'
'Do you guys think I'm wrong for being upset with this new rule? 1:40 PM Jun 22nd from web'
'I will be posting a new blog on my website shortly for more details on the "No Eating in the Locker Room Rule." 1:49 PM Jun 22nd from web'
'Hey! We are NOT allowed to eat in the locker room but, they are placing bananas KIT KATS out. Now, how do you consume those food items? 12:12 PM Jun 23rd from web'
'If I can't eat in the locker room & those items are edible, I dare to think how I am supposed to "eat," when the rule states, 'No Eating." 12:18 PM Jun 23rd from web'
Even little Laura Robson is involved, while pretty much any news involving Lance Armstrong or Shaquille O'Neal is gleaned from their assorted Tweetings.
Twitter has yet to catch on properly among footballers, for whatever reason - lack of basic literacy, utter disdain for the general public, or perhaps they just don't feel the need to inform the world every time they fart or sneeze.
Anyway, here are some of the best football Twitterers
(obviously none of these are verified):
Wayne Rooney:
Banters gamely away with the punters but refuses to break ranks when quizzed
about United's summer signings. ED
likes the bit where he refers to his unborn child as 'it'.
'Yeah thanks for all questions about Coleen she's great baby is due in October and no we don't know what it is but thanks 4 all kind messages. 6:44 AM Jun 15th from Tweetie'
Rio Ferdinand: Simply has to be a genuine account given the exceptional brand of youth textspeak in which his Tweets are written. ED doesn't think the Matt Duke below is the Hull goalkeeper, but you never know. Here's Rio on the Manchester United captaincy:
'@MattDuke7777 cheers 4 the support m8 :P the gaffas give it me a few times already so u never kno but giggsy's doin a gr8 job atm! 12:25 PM Jun 11th from web in reply to MattDuke7777'
Fernando Torres: His impressive English - written in proper words that ED can understand - puts Rio to shame.
'this baby's going to be a kicker!! it's been going day long. :) happy sharing this with you, sorry for not replying to all, goodnight. 4:19 PM Jun 8th from web'
Peter Crouch: Only ever used Twitter on April 1, and showed exactly why he is much more of a celebrity than he has any right to be. Made six tweets, five of them to other celebs: Sugababe Keisha Buchanan, Fearne Cotton, Holly Willoughby, Scott Mills, Comedy Dave.
Cristiano Ronaldo: It really does seem to be him, although it's mostly links to music he likes. Anyway, here's his reaction to the Michael Jackson news:
'RT mitcha o que michael jackson falou quando chegou no ceu? R: Deixa eu ver esse menino jesus! about 5 hours ago from web'
Ryan Giggs: Full of random details, consequently a good read. Includes a review of The Hangover - "What a funny film, I would say stepbrothers is funnier though."'I'm getting the train now with the Neville brothers. 7:28 AM May 20th from TweetDeck'
Carlos Tevez: Another one not in English, for obvious reasons. ED notes that Tevez is following Fidel Castro, and that on June 11 he pondered: "Which club will I go to?"
Jonathan Woodgate: Hardly prolific but there is a certain charm to his mini-anecdotes about visiting the dentist and showing his mum how to use YouTube.Steven Gerrard: Frighteningly dull. None of the day-to-day minutiae that make Twitter fun. Just infrequent, platitudinous rubbish.
Others on Twitter:
Darren Fletcher (complete with self-deprecating URL)
Frank Lampard - - -QUOTE OF THE DAY: "So, for anyone who is unclear or may have misunderstood what my position is, let me make myself absolutely crystal clear. I am wholeheartedly committed to Arsenal and my future lies with this great club." ED has a funny feeling this quote from Cesc Fabregas is going to look very silly before too long.
FOREIGN VIEW: Indian officials were left red-faced when 16 of the 30 boys selected for a training camp for the Asian under-16 championships qualifiers were found to be overaged.
The problem was exposed when the players underwent MRI tests in Goa, the Times of India reported on Thursday.
"We are aware of the MRI results, but we are re-enquiring with state associations," All India Football Federation general secretary Alberto Colaco told the paper. "We are investigating at the moment."
COMING UP: A double bill of Euro U21 semi-finals. First up is England v Sweden at 17:00 UK time, then Italy v Germany at 19:45.
- - -
RIP Michael JacksonMorning.
From edgar_friendly on Fri Jun 26 08:55AM1st!!! haha
From charliefineman on Fri Jun 26 08:56AM1st, RIP MJ
From charliefineman on Fri Jun 26 08:56AMWANTH
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 08:57AMAWW FAR FACK SAKE A THOT A WAS WANTH
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 08:57AMA SEE OWLED WECKO PAPED HES CLAGS. WAY DE YES FANK ABOOT THOT THAN? SHACKANG.
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 08:58AMSorry Charlie. Sorry Donney.
From edgar_friendly on Fri Jun 26 08:59AMWATS THAS ABOOT TWATTAR? TS JAST A BANCH A BYES TAXTIN. GET OVAR AT.
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 09:00AMSad news about Michael Jackson. Apparently it wasn't a heart attack tho. He was being shown round a children's hospital and had a stroke.
From danny_saks on Fri Jun 26 09:03AMSA WAT ABOOT THAS JECKO BYE PAPIN HES CLAGS? A THOT THEM ED BYES WAD A HOD A WEE WURD TAY SAY ABOOT AT. MAST RITE THAR SHIITE BAFAR THEY GO TAY BEED SA THAR NAT OPP WATH THA LATAST DEVELAPMONTS.
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 09:08AMATS ALREET EDGAR OM ALWAYS GETAN GEETAN TAY THA POST.
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 09:09AMTHARS THA FARST JECKO JOKE A THA DAY FRAM OWLED DANNAY SAKS . WAT ABOOT YE DANNAY?
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 09:11AMgone too soon,
stranger in moscow,
will you be there,
heal the world,
earth song,
you are not alone,
the girl is mine,
say say say,
we are the world,
leave me alone,
i want you back,
ABC,
"Life is fickle Michael, but you lived your life to the fullest, there was nothing more for you to prove, you've achieved imortality. Adieu my friend, Godspeed." AOP
From aopeepeepee on Fri Jun 26 09:11AMDanny, hilarious but you're on dodgy ground. You should know that people become saints when they die.
Donney, I agree. Not only did they not mention Michael Jackson, but their one defense for not mentioning it (ie, it isn't football related) is totally contradicted by the fact the article rants on about Serena Williams and eating in the locker room.
Very poor article.
From johnnywilkinson on Fri Jun 26 09:12AMWEE ANNE BROKE THA NEWS TA MAY ABOOT OWLED WECKO. I THOT SHE WASH HAYAN ME AN. CAZ YE KNOW WEE ANNE SHAY LEEKS ER WIND OPPS THON GARL.
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 09:15AMOnly twits twitter
From james_ssmith on Fri Jun 26 09:17AMHAHAH THONS A GUD WAN NAK YATES BYE. WAT ABOOT YE NAK YE OWLED SPONNAR YAY. A WAD SAY YAR ALAT BATTAR THON MICHAEL JECKSAN ONYWAY.
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 09:18AM14 - nah Johhny. Apparently Michael Jacksons will requests him to be melted down and made into toys so that kids can play with him for a change!
From danny_saks on Fri Jun 26 09:18AMAt least General Sir Michael Jackson, the man who may well have prevented a third world war, is still alive.
From james_ssmith on Fri Jun 26 09:19AMALREET JANNAY WILKINSAN BYE WAT ABOOT YE SAN?
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 09:19AMThe question is just what Serena was not allowed to eat in the locker room.
From james_ssmith on Fri Jun 26 09:21AMMy dog's got no nose. How does he smell/ A bit like Michael Jackson.
From james_ssmith on Fri Jun 26 09:22AMWATS THA DAFFARONCE BETWEN MECHAL JECKSAN OND JAN LENNAN? MECHAL JECKSAN DIED AV A HURT ETTECK, JAN LENNON WAS S HAT.
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 09:24AMOn football. Has SAF sold any of his back 4 or their replacements? Has he hell! Expect Manpoo to be the team to beat with Arsenal chasing them hard especially as their defence has just been strengthened.
From james_ssmith on Fri Jun 26 09:25AMGUD MARNANG MISTAR JEEMS SMATH AKA WEE PASSAYCAT MON. WAT ABOOT YE ME OWLED PAL.
From donneybye on Fri Jun 26 09:25AM22 - thats an interesting question, coming from a p.uss.y.
From danny_saks on Fri Jun 26 09:26AMJesus ED. Are things that bad? A blog made up entirely of Twitter posts?
I think you've finally managed to scrape THROUGH the bottom of the barrel.
From kevmun82 on Fri Jun 26 09:30AM28. Glad I didn't have to be explicit. Nice to of you to get things out in the open, Danny. Now put it away.
From james_ssmith on Fri Jun 26 09:30AMThe fact that mj's death is considered worthy of 4 slots on yahoos front page, is ever so slightly worrying.
What did this article have to do with football?
ED is going down hill, understandable though, there isn't much football being played at the moment.
From trebe123 on Fri Jun 26 09:31AM25 - thats my mission Nik. Apparently Rolf Harrris has said that, in celebration of Michael's life, he will be doing 2 little boys at the funeral.
From danny_saks on Fri Jun 26 09:31AM
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