Goodbye St James', hello Cheryl Cole
Wed Oct 28 04:49PM
Newcastle owner Mike Ashley may have announced that he's not going to sell the club (at least until they get promoted again), but the naming rights for St James' Park are up for grabs.
Personally, ED is delighted at the prospect of the ground getting a new name, just to end once and for all the pedantic rows in the Eurosport office about whether it should really be called St James's Park or St James' Park, as if such grammatical matters are a life and death issue on Tyneside.
In an ideal world, former sponsors Newcastle Brown Ale would be the only choice - who wouldn't want a trip to Newky Broon Park. Unfortunately, with production of the iconic happy juice set to move from Gateshead to Tadcaster in Yorkshire next year, the fit is no longer a perfect one.
Current shirt sponsors Northern Rock could probably do with the club buying their naming rights rather than the other way round, so who should sponsor the Toon's hallowed ground? Please add your own, inevitably far superior ideas below:
Cheryl Cole Arena - The uber-WAG has completed the transformation from night club attendant-basher to the nation's sweetheart, and all it took was marrying one of the most unpopular men in Britain. Now confirmed as one of the North East's finest exports, a statue of Wor Pet outside the ground would be enough to get the fans coming back in their droves.
JJB Stadium - Ashley ran into a spot of bother with the Office of Fair Trading after he acquired a 4.8 per cent stake in the sports wear firm set up by Wigan chief and former price-fixing buddy Dave Whelan. Unlike a brand new name, this is already familiar in fans' minds, and could benefit Ashley on two fronts.
Newcastle Crown Court Crescent - Toon midfielder Joey Barton has already given the beaks of his hometown plenty of column inches. If his adopted town wants to get in on the act, now is the perfect time.
Profanisaurus Park - Newcastle's other prime export is Viz, the adult comic that is as obscene as it is hilarious, produces an annual collection of filthy words and phrases that you won't find in a dictionary. Example entry: pornogamy n. Amongst impoverished gentlemen, the practice of remaining continuously faithful to the same dog-eared seed catalogue for all their sexual and emotional needs. Every time highlights of a Newcastle home game are introduced on television, broadcasters are contractually obliged to read out a random entry.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "A start and a goal, you can't ask for more than that. It is how people judge me unfortunately. I started a game against Bolton and was pretty pleased and thought I played pretty well. Then I looked at the papers and was given a three or four. But in this game I played pretty average and scored a goal and I'll probably get seven out of 10. I think I deserved a five in this game and seven or eight from the Bolton game." - The chip on Michael Owen's shoulder is approaching gastropub 'chunky' size.
FOREIGN VIEW: Shakhtar Donetsk owner Rinat Akhmetov has warned Ukrainian referees he could use his old boxing skills if they do not play fair with his team.
The threat from one of the richest men in Ukraine came after another billionaire, Igor Kolomoisky, burst into the referees' room on Saturday to complain after his fifth-placed Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk team lost 2-0 at home to leaders Dynamo Kiev.
Local websites said Kolomoisky and his bodyguards were involved in a scuffle although one referee said the magnate simply had harsh words for the officials.
On the club's website the league's second-placed team asked Akhmetov whether he too would have barged into the referees' room in similar circumstances.
"I think I wouldn't have but let me advise the referees I am a former professional boxer. Let them keep in mind if I do come, it will end badly," Akhmetov said.
"I hope it will not come to that. I will try to control my emotions but if they suddenly drive me up the wall I cannot say how I will behave, whether I will be quick tempered, whether I will throw a series (of punches) or not.
"If I do (let loose) it will end badly for them. So let them be careful, professional and honest," added the oligarch and Member of Parliament.
Akhmetov, whose business interests cover steel, mining and banks, is an eastern industrialist worth £1.1 billion according to Forbes magazine.
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Bah
From draxanlee on Wed Oct 28 04:57PMi thought it was sponsored by st james
From bacrich154 on Wed Oct 28 05:05PMNames for the footy ground: The Cole Hole. Shepherd Hall International Trading, Any more?
From joeway2 on Wed Oct 28 05:06PMat the moment the apt name for it would be THE CONFUSED.COM.STADIUM.
From g.eichstadt82 on Wed Oct 28 05:13PMHow about the Vatican. After all the club has had that many Messiahs it should have a holy title !!
From pac65 on Wed Oct 28 05:29PMWhat about Sid James Park
From ibassett66 on Wed Oct 28 05:33PMFeel free to view hot babes a t A froMingle / C o M --- for fun and more ........
From nancyskymoore on Wed Oct 28 05:37PMFeel free to view hot babes a t A froMingle / C o M --- for fun and more.........
From nancyskymoore on Wed Oct 28 05:37PMhey @#$%, we already have the stadium of shyte in the north east,- its in sunderland you wassack
From gilly2702 on Wed Oct 28 05:40PMbobo.spamble I wouldnt worry the breakfast news reporter on Talksport did the same last week when talking about Southgate getting the sack he said low attendances at the stadium of light would have been a factor
From liamhorne007 on Wed Oct 28 05:49PM@Ukranian billioniares;lol...........
From nelson_abiche on Wed Oct 28 05:54PMBroon Park should be fine
From arttidesco on Wed Oct 28 05:59PMHoo aboot "Auf Wiedersehen Ashley Pet Park"!
From al.kell on Wed Oct 28 06:08PMcemetery park is an apt name,ashly keeps digging holes for himself,and the club.
From kylecastus on Wed Oct 28 06:29PMWhy dont you leave it alone, leave St James park as it has always been known, Mr Ashley I am a Londoner as well,and I think its a disgrace what you are doing to this club, and all those thousands of fanatical supporters,, I want you supporters to know that you are respected for your fervour, by Londoners as well, and by me a Gunner supporter.
From joefinch2 on Wed Oct 28 06:49PMHang all these spors boggers by the balls, there all fat Man U fans talking @#$% week in week out like reading a childrens book, but a child with a chip as big as the burj dubai Go @#$% yourself
From larastevenslove on Wed Oct 28 08:41PMviagra park they need help to get back up
From heslop448 on Wed Oct 28 08:52PMF U K me there's some proper w @ nkers on here today
From sr.melvin on Wed Oct 28 08:55PMIts always been known as the Toon or Gallowgate. St James is the the church in Benwell, lets leave it at that.
From vallumhigh on Wed Oct 28 10:37PMToon Army Barracks :P
From t4tigger1977 on Wed Oct 28 11:05PMloserville.
From catmasher2 on Wed Oct 28 11:54PMIs there any old castle in or nearby Newcastle? Or maybe a really new castle? Let them remodel the present stadium with turrets and dungeons and simply call it: The Castle. If a commercial outfit wishes to sponsor them, they can always add their losgo to the name, i.e. Northern Rock Castle, the Carlsberg Castle, the Mittal Castle, etc. (I reserve my property rights is that scheme is put in use).
From c.decotto on Thu Oct 29 12:43AMLidl park?
Or possibly; Aldi stadium?
From scoobydo_uk on Thu Oct 29 03:05AMThe Cole Pit..
From zombiecazz70 on Thu Oct 29 03:37AMED, you've obviously got a problem with owen, he pleayed ok against liverpool and you slated him, he was openly admitting to deserving a 5 out of 10 for a game he had just played in.......but you continue to knock him......frankly, if you're english, you should be hoping that Owen can get back to somewhere near his best because the alternatives such as defoe, crouch and so on are nowhere near international standard for a team looking to win the world cup. And I also think owen deserves a bit of respect for what he has already achieved for england. But you show him none. Get a grip, slate the useless ones, you don't get a record like owens without having something more than blinding pace.
From mesteele42 on Thu Oct 29 04:50AMRecently, I found an age-gap club called ~~~ Agegapmingle--C O M ~~~ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not problem there. You may check out or tell your friends.
From hellojessicajones on Thu Oct 29 08:42AM!
From markspence03 on Thu Oct 29 10:24AMthe FOG ON THE TYNE
From dfsafc on Thu Oct 29 10:50AMRespect for the Magpies.Great tradition,great past playwers,excellent stadium,loyal supporters.
St.James'Park it always was and always should be.(why couldn't the Emirates be called New Highbury?)
St.James was also known as the Son of Zebedee and like Zebedee,I hope Newcastle will bounce back very soon!Arsenal Supporter.
From p2jww on Thu Oct 29 10:53AMWould anyone really want to sponor the name of the ground. It'll always be St James Park to the fans, anyone sponsoring it will instantly become hated by the fans and boycotted, and they'll never tuly be associated with the team or recognised nationally. Everyone will still be saying they are going to St. James or the toon, or simply Newcastle. They'll be throwing their money (which in view of the involvement of Ashley is likelyto be extortionate) down the drain. Any supposed sponsor would be well advised to stay well clear!
From chris.purvis33 on Thu Oct 29 11:03AM
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