Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Early Doors knows little of the world outside the Eurosport office, having been chained to its desk and forced to subsist on a thin gruel of UHT milk and cardboard. It cares little for football itself, preferring to focus on the childish histrionics and self-regarding largesse of those involved in the game. Its primary interests are training-ground bust-ups, Baby Bentleys and deluded chairmen. Like many Premier League players, Early Doors refers to itself only in the third person.