Jimmy cranky
Fri Jul 25 08:39AM
Under the Premier League's intense spotlight, it has become difficult for decent players not to get noticed.
Such is the relentless hype that ordinary players like Scott Parker and Jermaine Jenas acquire reputations far exceeding their actual ability.
Some 'big' club - usually Chelsea, Spurs or Newcastle - believes the propaganda and splashes out for a bright young thing who actually turns out to be a bit rubbish.
So how come, when a couple of snappy tackles or decent through-balls are a passport to a top-ten club, nobody good wants to buy Jimmy Bullard?
Consider this:
He kept Fulham in the Premier League almost single-handedly.
He is a positive dressing-room influence (translates roughly as 'banter merchant').
He is that rarest of birds, the creative English midfielder.
He's really, really, ridiculously good at free-kicks.
If Tom Huddlestone can get in the England squad, Bullard should be a shoo-in. And yet the only side trying to buy him are Wigan - a club he left in 2006.
Bullard is an unashamedly old-fashioned footballer. He's got the kind of lop-sided face only a mother could love, topped off with a mop of blond curls teleported directly from 1976.
He exudes precisely zero arrogance and seems like a genuinely nice bloke - the perfect antidote to an age dominated by image and posturing.
Put it this way - you wouldn't see an oiled-up, marmite-coloured Bullard sunbathing on the front of a tabloid newspaper.
Is football really so shallow that Bullard gets overlooked by the big boys simply because he's not up his own backside?
Anyone who has paid even the slightest attention to ED over its lifespan will know the answer is a resounding yes.
- - -
Luiz Felipe Scolari has taken to English football like an ex-pro to Scotch.
Since taking over at Chelsea, Big Phil has quickly made himself part of the furniture - metaphorically not literally, as was the case with the wooden Avram Grant.
You know you have truly arrived when Alex Ferguson targets you for mind games - in Scolari's case for having a very slightly older squad than Manchester United.
What has impressed Early Doors the most is his effortless adoption of English percentage inflation.
Take the statement Michael Ballack would miss a meaningless friendly against a Malaysian Select XI on Saturday, having joined up late with the squad following his wedding.
For Scolari, it was more than a piece of rather boring team news. It was an opportunity to inject hyperbole to an otherwise mundane situation.
Ballack was not just going to miss the game, nor 100 percent or even 110 percent likely to sit it out. He was "one million percent" not going to play.
A million percent! Imagine being that certain about anything. Scolari is a man who truly knows his own mind.
Problem is - his claim that Didier Drogba was "200 percent" a part of his plans doesn't sound so impressive any more, does it?
In fact, Scolari is saying that Drogba is 5,000 times less likely to stay at Chelsea than Ballack is to miss the Malaysia game.
- - -
Many of this morning's papers feature front-page pictures of both Barack Obama and Cristiano Ronaldo, whose skin tone rather calls into question whether Obama can really be described as 'black'.
Ronaldo's mahogany varnish is truly astonishing but, Early Doors would love to see him naked.
Not, perhaps, for the reason you would imagine, but just to see the luminous glow of his pasty white right foot - currently in a cast - and the 'area' underneath those ubiquitous metallic mini-shorts.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: Marcus Bent (11 clubs in 10 years) comes up with a new way to say 'bad blood' and has a pop at Wigan Athletic: "I was promised a contract and it didn't evolve. There isn't good blood between us."
FOREIGN VIEW: Barcelona weren't kidding when they said they were more than a club. They are now a purveyor of Pringle-style clothing after releasing their own tartan. Los Cules celebrated their love of all things Scottish with a 6-0 romp against Hibernian last night before heading out for a night of stereotypical merriment featuring Tennants Extra, deep-fried Mars bars and bye-election upsets.
TALKING POINT: claire881 endears herself to ED by revealing a sociopathic streak: "I hate Help the Aged, why isn't there a 'Help The Young' that's ageist in itself... hypocrites!"
Today - Who is the most under-rated player in the Premier League?
FANTASY FOOTBALL: Our Fantasy Premier League game is free, fun and any other adjective beginning with 'f'. Just click on the link and take a look. No obligation.
Most over-rated player: Jimmy Bullard the r-tard.
From richard.ekman on Fri Jul 25 11:01AMA completely non-football subject: Has anyone seen the new Batman? I saw it last night. Or should I say knight? (funny? no? okey I'll be quite now.)
From richard.ekman on Fri Jul 25 11:04AM2,000,000 percent certain the gooners will take the top spot in the prem and WHUFC will be blowing bubbles in 2nd thanks to the efforts of Ballack
From arttidesco on Fri Jul 25 11:05AMI never realised what an amazing footy force Scoatland has been mcgrant first they invent the game and now Dundee beat Barca at Camp Nou
Ballack might yet arrive at Upton Park From arttidesco on Fri Jul 25 11:06AMgonna be released here next week i think then im gonna go see it actualley looking forward to it
From dannickbates on Fri Jul 25 11:07AMI hope Utd beat Barca! Is it on the telly Marc? Probably not as Setanta is a pile of guff! I've liked Real Madrid since I was little cos my brother liked them , hence I hate Barca! I have no opinion on who the most under-rated player in the EPL is as to be honest I don't watch a hell of a lot of English football anymore, certainly not enough to give my opinion on something like that.
From claire881 on Fri Jul 25 11:08AMkantong was having a go at james yesterday, james had what was coming to him, kantong really knows her stuff, her comebacks were quite impressive. With the jimmy bullard issue i think hes a good player and does a job for a mid-table team but he lacks a little quality. He is under-rated though!!!
From jay8my on Fri Jul 25 11:09AMBrad is an amazing shot stopper and did an amazing job for Blackburn and hes being sold for only 2 million. Disgusting..
From the.clanger on Fri Jul 25 11:10AMCatalunya did their best too keep the fascists at bay during the Civil War but were over run, in the subsequent suppression the Catalunyan Language and Flag were banned and FCB had to adopt a Spanish name.
From arttidesco on Fri Jul 25 11:13AMReal Madrid shame Spain not Barcalona
From arttidesco on Fri Jul 25 11:14AMWho let the homophobic Babboon sh'gger back in ??
If sammywammy feels confident enough to come out on here, it may help him face some of his other personality disorders and that should be encouraged.
From nikyates on Fri Jul 25 11:14AMReal Madrid are Fascist scum
From arttidesco on Fri Jul 25 11:16AMAAAARRRRGGGGGHHH! The David Icke thingys are back I will seee you all later
From arttidesco on Fri Jul 25 11:17AMart u dont have to make 15 posts on each page!
From jay8my on Fri Jul 25 11:17AMGlad we agree on that one artti. That's it. I'm giving you a smiley.
From richard.ekman on Fri Jul 25 11:20AMsounds like you have a God syndrome arti feeling superior are we? not so superior now since you got thubb tummped by the mls allstars ne?
From dannickbates on Fri Jul 25 11:24AMGo away frog.
From richard.ekman on Fri Jul 25 11:24AMbullard is a very good player, should he be ahead of gerrard or lampard in the england team? no but thats his competition, maybe if he stays fit for a season he will get his chance, but agree what your saying he should be playing for a top 8 team.
From hobsey007 on Fri Jul 25 11:25AMcome on arti!! dundee could only dream of barca!!
it was dundee united, dont get the two confused!
yep scotland is a re emerging force in european football.
im not sure claire, prob setanta if anything but lets hope we put on a good show like last year
From marcgrant7 on Fri Jul 25 11:25AMfence sitter?? was that meant to be an insult??
From marcgrant7 on Fri Jul 25 11:27AMhis there so little footie news to report that early doors feels the need to comment on the skin colour of people stick too football
From paulyd1976 on Fri Jul 25 11:28AMFAKE SNAKE
From jay8my on Fri Jul 25 11:29AMFAKE SNAKE = OLD MAN!
From jay8my on Fri Jul 25 11:29AMMr Bean + jubba da hutt = bob.jobe!!!
From jay8my on Fri Jul 25 11:35AMgob.jobe is a coward, he cant even make a profile with his own identity...WHAT A COWARD!!!
From jay8my on Fri Jul 25 11:36AMfrog face go and suck a toad wart you loser if you say we have no lives then you must be the saddest example of someone who has one because all you can do is insult people who you dont even know in far off countrys or citys . i'd rather have a beer with anyone of the regulars here than some on like you because you are a disgrace to the human race . and frogs while we are at it. get yourself a life show your true colours and become an actual intulectual before you insult people
From dannickbates on Fri Jul 25 11:38AMSince when have Newcastle been a "big" club. The only thing big in Newcastle is their underachievement and the beer bellies on their supporters !
From pb1211 on Fri Jul 25 11:45AM"his there so little footie news to report that early doors feels the need to comment on the skin colour of people stick too football" I always find it amusing when people come on and diss ED with REALLY bad grammer! Where is the punctuation or correct use of the word 'too' I mean really, that's primary school stuff! Sorry I'm a grammar fiend!
From claire881 on Fri Jul 25 11:46AMMOOOOOHH! MOOOOOHH!
From cowers.corner on Fri Jul 25 11:49AMMOOOOOHH! MOOOOOHH!
From cowers.corner on Fri Jul 25 11:49AM
Comment on this article
Please sign in to add your comments.
Early Doors – Your morning briefing
Sport Newsletter
Catch up with all the latest news
Sign up to our free daily newsletter to recieve the latest news straight to your inbox. Make sure you don’t miss a thing.
Sign up now
This site is Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! and Eurosport. All rights reserved.
- Terms of Service
- Updated Privacy Policy
- Copyright/IP Policy
- Remarks and Suggestions
- Corporate info
- Jobs at Eurosport
Notice: We collect personal information on this site. To learn more about how we use your information, see our Privacy Policy.