Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Scharner shames football

Mon Nov 23 08:53AM

Early Doors is sad to report that certain players continue to drag the good name of football through the mud.

Four days after Thierry Henry's handball shamed a nation, Wigan's badger-headed utility man Paul Scharner showed a duplicitous side befitting a man with two separate haircuts (above, left and right).

During yesterday's game against Tottenham, the Austrian used his right arm to control a cross before volleying the ball past Heurelho Gomes.

He then exacerbated his crime by brazenly celebrating the goal and refusing to tell referee Peter Walton what he had done.

Although Scharner's crime was clear to viewers around the world, Walton and his officiating team were denied access to incriminating TV footage, and the goal will tarnish the record books for ever more.

Scharner has trashed his own reputation and that of the game he professes to love. He has shown up football's authorities and set the worst possible example for the millions of children who worship the very ground he walks on.

In perpetrating a massive and shameless fraud, he has made life just that little bit less worth living for you, me and the entire human race.

With Scharner showing no remorse and the FA sitting impotently on their hands, it is up to Wigan to show that some things are not worth sacrificing in order to score a goal, and that dignity and morality still has a place in football.

Wigan must offer to replay the game.

Match report: Tottenham Hotspur 9-1 Wigan Athletic

- - -

Saturday's Liverpool versus Manchester City gave us a window into the warped world of Rafa Benitez, as he once again produced a baffling dugout performance.

Despite facing Liverpool's main rivals for a top four spot in the kind of game that can define a team's season, Benitez took only a passing interest in the result.

He once again consigned his most creative player, Yossi Benayoun, to the bench, inexplicably opting for Ryan Babel instead.

Rafa lucked out in the 19th minute, when an injury to Babel meant the introduction of Benayoun, who duly scored.

Yet, having just netted the equaliser, the Israeli was subjected to the ultimate footballing indignity - a substitute being substituted.

He was taken off and, while Alberto Aquilani looked on from the bench, Fabio Aurelio came on for the last five minutes to protect the 2-2 scoreline in a must-win game.

Benayoun has played a full match just three times in 13 Premier League appearances this season, and a recap his minutes played per game looks depressingly like a bingo card: 23, 90, 76, 27, 90, 85, 77, 23, 90, two fat ladies 88, 78, 77, 66.

Benitez's refusal to give Aquilani a run-out was equally baffling, given the Italian made his debut against Arsenal four weeks ago.

Was he saving them for Wednesday's meeting with Debreceni, who have no points from four games, in a match that serves as little more than a Europa League eliminator?

Out of the title race, out of the Carling Cup and soon to be out of the Champions League; this season is actually panning out perfectly for Benitez who is not a man who enjoys fighting on too many fronts.

Liverpool have already been installed as Europa League favourites, and Benitez can now focus all his resources on being crowned the least mediocre of the continent's second-rate sides.

- - -

While Liverpool rued the absence of key men Fernando Torres and Glen Johnson, Chelsea showed an injury crisis is only a crisis when you lose.

That the leaders were without Didier Drogba, Frank Lampard, Michael Ballack, Deco and Ricardo Carvalho barely raised a murmur as they battered Wolves 4-0 with Michael Essien and Florent Malouda the pick of a rather impressive bunch.

With Chelsea cruising late on, Carlo Ancelotti gave a debut to the man who ruined everything, Gael Kakuta.

The teenager's controversial arrival from Lens led to a transfer ban for the Blues, which has been temporarily lifted, along with Kakuta's suspension, pending a review by the Court of Arbitration for Sport.

Despite the historic punishment handed to Chelsea, ED would be feeling a bit gutted this morning if it were Lens, who received less than £1 million compensation for Kakuta.

Put simply, the boy looks quite a player. His first contribution to English football was a shimmy that so completely bamboozled Richard Stearman it recalled the legendary Zlatan Ibrahimovic quote: "First I went left and he did too. Then I went right and he did too. Then I went left again and he went to buy a hot dog."

Kakuta's sparkling cameo sadly put the kaibosh on any Schadenfreude, as he might just be good enough to make 18 months of no new players worth it. Or he might just be another Nani.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND: FAI chief executive John Delaney hits back at Roy Keane, who savaged Ireland on Friday: "For me, that's only a sideshow. From the images I saw last Friday, it was sad to see a former great player . . . I felt sad for him more than anything else."

FOREIGN VIEW: David Beckham has an option to own a future 20th team in Major League Soccer, the league's commissioner has said.

Speaking at half-time in the title-deciding MLS Cup final, which Beckham's L.A. Galaxy lost to Real Salt Lake on penalties, Don Garber gave details of how Beckham might become an owner of a team in the league.

"We didn't talk about this until recently but David has the option for our 20th team," Garber said.

"That option can't be exercised until after 2011 or after he stops playing so we have got some time to figure that out."

Montreal could become the 19th team in the league following the arrival of Philadelphia next year and Vancouver and Portland in 2011.

After the loss, Beckham said he would be taking up the option and was already looking at different cities for a team.

"We've got options obviously at this stage I am not going to say what they are but it will happen eventually."

Beckham's current deal with the Galaxy runs out at the end of the 2011 season.

Match report: Galaxy lose on penalties

Comments1 - 30 of 154
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mong
From andy_lycett on Mon Nov 23 08:56AM
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OH YEAH OH YEAH
From imanerdo99 on Mon Nov 23 08:56AM
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I demand a replay.....I was robbed
From imanerdo99 on Mon Nov 23 09:00AM
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Andy Lycett it is a great pity that you have nothing better to do on a Monday morning than thwarting me !!!!
From imanerdo99 on Mon Nov 23 09:03AM
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Yossi and Aquilani are not 100% fit. If Rafa had have played yossi and aquaman from the start and they picked up injuries everybody would be on his back about that too. He simply can't win in anyone's eyes.
From moshnroll05 on Mon Nov 23 09:08AM
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5-As soon as ED announces there is no chance of a replay, I will declare the only fair thing to do would be to have a replay, OK?
From andy_lycett on Mon Nov 23 09:09AM
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6- 3 too many words in your last sentence!!
From andy_lycett on Mon Nov 23 09:10AM
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early doors, do you deserve a Ph.D or a wrap around the ears for this accurate and truthful sarcasm?
From ekongub on Mon Nov 23 09:11AM
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Nice 1! Yep, we football lovers demand a replay. Spurs and Wigan must agree! No more cheating.... could have been 9-0. We demand a replay cos we all know that goals difference matter a lot at the end of the season.
From amechiakabogu on Mon Nov 23 09:14AM
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its not that rafa cant win in anyones eyes..... he just can't seem to win!
From deceborg on Mon Nov 23 09:14AM
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Steven Gerrard was asked over the weekend what would he say when he wins his first Premiership medal he replied...."I would just like to thank Mr Abramovich ,for buying me"...carm down carm down....
From imanerdo99 on Mon Nov 23 09:17AM
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Hooray a spammer got 1st
From who_are_ya on Mon Nov 23 09:19AM
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cole shearer defoe the three fivekateers
but i think WILLIE HALL of spurs and JOE PAYNE of luton beats them all
mind you ,you have to be over 80 to remember them
From g80plus on Mon Nov 23 09:22AM
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cole shearer defoe the three fivekateers
but i think WILLIE HALL of spurs and JOE PAYNE of luton beats them all
mind you ,you have to be over 80 to remember them
From g80plus on Mon Nov 23 09:22AM
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WE SCORED A GOAL THAT SHOULDNT HAVE STOOD REPLAY PLZ.
-ROBERTO MARTINEZ
From shittymcgee on Mon Nov 23 09:22AM
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"refusing to tell referee Peter Walton what he had done." Shut up. Would you go up to the referee and scream 'I HANDLED IT REF BOOKED ME' It is the referee's and lineman's fault!! BRING IN VIDEO REPLAY
From markspence03 on Mon Nov 23 09:24AM
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Yossi isn't fit you mugs. The only reason he came on in the first place is because that soft @#$% babel went off
From davidfahy on Mon Nov 23 09:33AM
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UCB UK from United Christian Broadcasters. Broadcasting Nationally
On DAB Digital Radio From 1st December 2009 and on the internet right now!! at ucbmedia dot co dot uk
From gladysdinglesplat on Mon Nov 23 09:36AM
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love the sarcasm, but would point out that bingo does not repeat numbers therefore the link of minutes for Yossi on the pitch to a bingo game is unfounded. Instead its just a series of numbers. I suggest a trip to the local mecca bingo hall for clarification.
I was also at the game and bought what I thought was a hot chocolate. However, upon tasting found it too be just some coloured hot water! I therefore suggest it only fair that Liverpool and Man City ask for the game to be replayed as this excuse for hot chocolate totally spoiled the game and potentially could encourage small children who may also had hot chocolate at the ground, to accept that this is what hot chocolate tastes like, and consequently accept poor standards in other aspects of life!
From ian.lapsley on Mon Nov 23 09:39AM
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A man in Tesco's tries to buy half a cauliflower. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole cauliflowers. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager,
'Some pratt out there wants to buy half a cauliflower.'
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.'
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way
Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'
'Liverpool , Sir,'the boy replied. 'Well, why did you leave Liverpool ?' the manager asked.
The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and footballers up there.'
'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Liverpool.'
'You're kidding?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?'
(We at Tesco's don't really talk to our customers like that.)
From shelfstackingjohnny on Mon Nov 23 09:42AM
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Morning all, Man @#$% and Loserpool served up a draw, big surprise. Valencia seems to be trying to emulate Fat Frank with these deflected goals, 14 pens and he'll be right up there with him.
From rilez on Mon Nov 23 09:45AM
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I think it was a little bit too cold for the Arsenal players at Sunderland on Saturday................,bunch of fancy-dan ,fair weather pansies.....
From imanerdo99 on Mon Nov 23 09:49AM
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FaaaaaaaaaaT Rafa..............We Love Ya......Ya little Rotund rodent....
From imanerdo99 on Mon Nov 23 10:01AM
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Very funny...finally someone puts 'The Hand of Frog' into perspective.
From deanhesom on Mon Nov 23 10:31AM
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Brilliant, ED!
From james_ssmith on Mon Nov 23 10:31AM
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Wrong results for much posting, Arsenal lose, Liverpool draw, united win, chelsea win.
The Arsenal result was the only shock, oh yeah and the fact that Villa nicked a point at the power house that is Fortress Turfmoor!!
From andy_lycett on Mon Nov 23 10:33AM
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I thought Sunderland looked good against Spurs and that Arsenal might have trouble. It is November, month of the highest suicide rate and traditional drop in Arsenal's form. (sighing not crying)
From james_ssmith on Mon Nov 23 10:33AM
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Andy - donkey Heskey - earned us a point on saturday by actually scoring! it looks like lightning can strike twice - just may take a while!!
From doobie.doobiedoo on Mon Nov 23 10:33AM
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l waitinng for Robbie Keane to call FA for a replay of SUndays match between Spurs and
From micpando1 on Mon Nov 23 10:34AM
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41-Does that put him level with a beach ball for Prem goals this season??
From andy_lycett on Mon Nov 23 10:35AM
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