Guantanamo Bay with a Michelin-starred chef
Tue Feb 05 08:59AM
Early Doors isn't saying the England squad are a bunch of scruffy oiks, but when a manager who makes his players put on a shirt and turn off their mobiles for dinner is accused by an insider of creating "a military camp", you have to wonder.
Fabio Capello's other "boot camp-style" rules include turning up on time for meetings and not stuffing yourself with room service. Blimey. Early Doors would rather take its chances at Abu Ghraib.
The Italian's old-fashioned love for order and responsibility must be good news for the captaincy hopes of Rio Ferdinand: Party Liaison.
Rio was the brains behind Manchester United's now infamous Christmas bash which, in common with Capello's England squad, imposed a ban on WAGs.
Capello may be tempted to overlook the alleged boozy excess that ensued, and give Ferdinand credit for his considerable organisational skills.
If Rio can lay on a multi-venue 20-hour knees-up, surely he can orchestrate a simple offside trap?
"He calls me and a lot of the other players by our surnames. His coaching staff call us by surname as well. That's the way it is," said new teacher's pet Ferdinand, R.
With Capello's English still rather tentative, it must have been a considerable relief to the coach when Gabriel Agbonlahor pulled out injured.
But for all the fevered discussion about the captaincy, it is surely one of the most overhyped and overrated jobs in football.
As far as Early Doors can tell, all the man with the armband really gets to do is guess which way up a coin lands and exchange triangular pennants with his opposite number.
- - -
Didier Drogba claims he was stripped of the African Player of the Year award after refusing to make the trip to Togo to collect the gong.
The Chelsea man now says he doesn't want to be considered for future editions, sobbing: "This award has lost its value".
Drogba's side, you may recall, were busy preparing for their African Cup of Nations quarter-final against Guinea.
As a result, the award went to the much less good and much less African Fredi Kanoute, a former French Under-21 international hailing from the Lyon area but who now plays for Mali.
The African confederation are not the only ones to impose a mandatory attendance requirement for their award-winners.
The Asian Player of the Year is subject to the same rule - and fair enough, you might say. If you're going to pick up a prestigious honour, you should at least turn up.
So how come, when the gong was presented on a quiet Wednesday evening last November, Saudi Arabia's Yasser Al-Qahtani was the best player who happened to be passing by the auditorium on awards night?
Where was Shunsuke Nakamura? Where was Park Ji-Sung? Where were all the Aussies - Cahill, Viduka, even Lucas Neill would have done.
Well, that evening also featured eight Champions League games, plus some Premier League action. There was UEFA Cup the following day.
And where was the award ceremony? Oh, that's right - Australia.
- - -
In light of the racist abuse hurled at Lewis Hamilton, Early Doors would like to join the media in condemning the land of Spain, all its inhabitants and anyone who has ever eaten tapas or ordered a San Miguel.
First it was the England football team, now the inflatable-donkey-waving, flamenco-dancing, Siesta-taking, sangria-slurping, half-finished-hotel-dwelling, chorizo-eating Manuels are having a go at our Lewis.
The only wonder is they arrived at the track in time to abuse him, what with the obvious threat to punctuality posed by their knackered Seat Ibizas and three-hour post-lunch naps.
Early Doors repeats: there is no room for racism in sport.
In all seriousness, every country countains a mixture of the good, the bad and the ugly. Slagging off Spain out of hand is hardly the right way to fight prejudice.
Although you have to wonder how a bunch of blacked-up morons with 'Hamilton's Familly (sic)' printed on their t-shirts were allowed into the track.
As acts of premeditated fan idiocy go, it was right up there with the Inter Milan ultras who set fire to a scooter and threw it from the top tier of the San Siro, or the Norwegian farmer who offered to sacrifice a goat before kick-off at a Tromso game.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "He has addressed us all on English. Surprisingly good English, too." Fabio Capello on Rio Ferdinand. No, wait...
FOREIGN VIEW: Marca trumpets: "The golden era of Spanish football begins here!"
BIRTHDAY TRIBUTE OF THE DAY: The Daily Sport salutes Cristiano Ronaldo on his 23rd birthday with a montage of his alleged former conquests and 23 fascinating facts including: His favourite colour is white.
COMING UP: England's Under-21s are in action later, but first we have live streaming of a very strong France 'A' side versus Congo! Watch video of Clichy, Flamini, Sagna, Diaby and even some non-Arsenal players right here from 5pm UK time.
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IM this storyHow did Alex Fergerson let these over paid premadonnas get away with this disgusting behavior on and of the pitch.Having a christmas party at this time of the year is a disgrace to all Man utd fans,But the english players in the team better watch out because Mr Cappelo will soon weed them out and give someone new chance and they will grab it with both hands.
From donna2605 on Tue Feb 05 09:49AMRio Ferdinand - Party Liason, Très Bien
From lazyass_001 on Tue Feb 05 10:12AMwhilst I too find the behaviour of some spanish individuals toward Lewis Hamilton despicable I also happen to find your comment to be offensive !!!
From stilysh02uk on Tue Feb 05 10:13AMAwesome, every morning makes me laugh! Keep it up!
From zaklewis on Tue Feb 05 10:19AMBEST ARTICLE I'VE READ IN A WHILE, HAD ME LAUGHING OUT LOUD. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK BOYS!
From rkill67 on Tue Feb 05 10:19AMstilysh02uk
Sense of humor?????? Your lack of it is offensive!
From a_krik on Tue Feb 05 10:32AMRight the spanish were out of line with the Hamilton stuff. But surely with your comments thats racist retaliation is it not? Other than that another good article "He has addressed us all on English. Surprisingly good English, too." Fabio Capello on Rio Ferdinand. No, wait..." Best of the lot
From nickyclarke7 on Tue Feb 05 10:35AMfantastic, very very funny. Keep up the great work , boardering on genius at times today
From cr.hughes on Tue Feb 05 10:36AMScary! A lack of understanding of irony methinks! (stilysh02uk)
No relation to Oscar Wilde I assume then?From dguardbrown on Tue Feb 05 10:36AMwell done;a sports blog written by people who don't seem too far up their own arses.keep it up boys!!!
From outlaw72 on Tue Feb 05 10:38AMindeed i lack sense of humor when the subject is so important !!
whilst i understand that no arm was intended i don t beleive that stereotypical sarcy and racist comment is the way to go about it !!From stilysh02uk on Tue Feb 05 10:39AMBut anyway, come on Capello - sort our boys out! We might be able to win something with a little bit of discipline! Come on, England! (No, I'm not a racist)
From dguardbrown on Tue Feb 05 10:40AMI am deeply dissapointed with your comments in this article! My Wife, daughter, and come to that most of my family are spanish!! And I find it offensive that you could be so racist against a whole nation in light of what has happened to Lewis Hamilton. In this article you have been more racist than those couple of people were at the track the other day. You are in fact inciting racial hatred! Isnt that ilegal?
From rociomartinramos on Tue Feb 05 10:44AMEarly Doors is fast becoming legendary! An essential part of any person's mid-morning sport news.
"The only wonder is they arrived at the track in time to abuse him, what with the obvious threat to punctuality posed by their knackered Seat Ibizas and three-hour post-lunch naps".
Keep it up boys. Don't hold anything back if you have something to say!
From thomascousins99 on Tue Feb 05 10:51AMDear stilysh02uk, as a translator I am only too aware of cultural differences - for example in Germany they write "No words" under a cartoon if it, well, has no words. Just in case the "readership" thought there was more to the joke than meets the eye and didn't get it... Could it be that your otherwise (almost) faultless grasp of the English language does not extend to the concept of "irony", even when so clearly signposted as it is here? Or am I the sucker here; yours is maybe an even better attempt of sleight-of-hand, intended to catch people like me off guard? Oh well, I don't think Early Doors was being racist. Or maybe it was just pretending to be nice by saying stuff so outrageous when in fact voicing deep-seated sentiments...? Oh dear, brain hurts, best be off for a cup of redbush. Nice work EarlyDoors, by the way!
From garethcoletranslations on Tue Feb 05 10:54AMChanged my mind, I am with rociomartinramos. EarlyDoors IS RACIST. TAKE IT DOWN. NOW. How can this filth be left online????? Only kidding, just fell off my chair laughing that people take things so seriously. Comes back to my serious point about cultural differences though! Can you imagine if people are genuinely hurt by comments meant to express quite the opposite?
From garethcoletranslations on Tue Feb 05 10:58AMTo stilysh02uk......have you never heard of irony???
From colin.spicer on Tue Feb 05 11:01AMObviously the word 'ironic' does not translate into spanish. Stop whinging and get a sense of perspective.
From lance.greenaway on Tue Feb 05 11:01AMWhether sarcastic or not, the comments made are meant to show the idocracy of those spanish morons who think that they are beyond reproach. It's about time the Spanish authorities grew a spine and acted on this, rather than keeping their mouths shut....just like they did under Franco! As for inciting racial hatred, oh my god; GET A LIFE!!!
From seanheal71 on Tue Feb 05 11:03AMwell i wonder !!!! irony !!! was those idiot on the track beeing ironic !!!
i have leave and work in the uk for 12 years and i have learn that as a nation the british are probably the more manered and understanding nation in europe .
i just happen to beleive that racism shouldn t be dealt with irony !!!From stilysh02uk on Tue Feb 05 11:09AMalex chick back today i see - good work that man
From garagemusic on Tue Feb 05 11:10AMget a job people
From ahm02034062 on Tue Feb 05 11:13AMPoor Beck....
get the FA to form 'England B' sort of,the shadow of the national team,
appoint Beck as the captain..(due to experiance,leading quality bla bla bla)then,organise friendly match every month...sure he will get 120 hahaha
From farah_shazana on Tue Feb 05 11:15AMIt 's clearly a dig at the inevitable red top reaction to the Lewis Hamilton furore. Signposted in bright neon letters. Caveatted with 'in all seriousness'. It reminds me of The Fiver's delight in mocking the sectarianism in Glaswegian football by calling Celtic 'The Queen's Celitc' and Rangers 'The Pope's O'Rangers'. They did it for years, and people still didn't get the joke.
Still, I don't think I'll be visiting Spain again any time soon.
From kikupoochie on Tue Feb 05 11:16AMYou boys done good as they say. I don't deem what you said about Spanish racist- just decent naughty retaliation for their racsim.
As for Capello- good on him! About time those twattish prima donnas learnt some respect. There's more fight, respect and love for England in Terry Butcher's headband than in that lot.
I wonder if he made them eat with a knife and fork as well- some of them would struggle with that. Capello is trying to install good old English class- something most of the team don't have...
From whfcuptonpark on Tue Feb 05 11:21AMGreat article - both the footie and F1. Capello will sort them out - and about time too. McLaren was far too matey with them for my liking. No respect for him from the players.
Have you ever lived in Spain ? You must have to have observed those Spanish traits so accurately. Mind you I believe everything I read about Johnny Foreigner in the Daily Mirror and Daily Mail! Throw the out of F1, Euro 2008 and the EU I say!.
From ray.finlayson on Tue Feb 05 11:22AMYour Comments on Spain are ridiculous enough, yet the loose attitude you adopt regarding the Abu Ghraib Prison, where both scandalous torture and prisoner abuse have been made public, and Guantanamo, where human rights abuses by the US have been clearly and repeatedly documented, is unacceptable. Does Yahoo/Eurosport accept full responsibility for the comments on this page? I will not be visiting your web site anymore.
From bedrifil on Tue Feb 05 11:28AMI Love Manchester United,because have many hero player example"Cristiano Ronaldo,Tevez,Wayne Rooney,Ryan Giggs and many-many more.
From mohd.syafique on Tue Feb 05 11:29AMThe Idiots which turned up and hurled racist abuse at Lewis Hamilton were wrong, and have been dealt with by the Spanish police!! I agree with most in saying that when dealing with racism...Irony should be left at home. Irony can only be used when the subject has a humour factor!!! Did you ever hear a joke about Madaline going missing.....NO!!!
From matthewjohnsharp on Tue Feb 05 11:30AMI am not condoning the actions of a few Spanish bigots, but come on, what did McClaren and Lewis Hamilton truly expect after the way in which Fernendo Alonso was treated.He was in effect hounded out of his position at McClaren.Lewis Hamilton is fast becoming reviled, you may or may nt agree, but he has turned into a proper smug little s and so
From mcdowell271 on Tue Feb 05 11:30AM
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