Guantanamo Bay with a Michelin-starred chef
Tue Feb 05 08:59AM
Early Doors isn't saying the England squad are a bunch of scruffy oiks, but when a manager who makes his players put on a shirt and turn off their mobiles for dinner is accused by an insider of creating "a military camp", you have to wonder.
Fabio Capello's other "boot camp-style" rules include turning up on time for meetings and not stuffing yourself with room service. Blimey. Early Doors would rather take its chances at Abu Ghraib.
The Italian's old-fashioned love for order and responsibility must be good news for the captaincy hopes of Rio Ferdinand: Party Liaison.
Rio was the brains behind Manchester United's now infamous Christmas bash which, in common with Capello's England squad, imposed a ban on WAGs.
Capello may be tempted to overlook the alleged boozy excess that ensued, and give Ferdinand credit for his considerable organisational skills.
If Rio can lay on a multi-venue 20-hour knees-up, surely he can orchestrate a simple offside trap?
"He calls me and a lot of the other players by our surnames. His coaching staff call us by surname as well. That's the way it is," said new teacher's pet Ferdinand, R.
With Capello's English still rather tentative, it must have been a considerable relief to the coach when Gabriel Agbonlahor pulled out injured.
But for all the fevered discussion about the captaincy, it is surely one of the most overhyped and overrated jobs in football.
As far as Early Doors can tell, all the man with the armband really gets to do is guess which way up a coin lands and exchange triangular pennants with his opposite number.
- - -
Didier Drogba claims he was stripped of the African Player of the Year award after refusing to make the trip to Togo to collect the gong.
The Chelsea man now says he doesn't want to be considered for future editions, sobbing: "This award has lost its value".
Drogba's side, you may recall, were busy preparing for their African Cup of Nations quarter-final against Guinea.
As a result, the award went to the much less good and much less African Fredi Kanoute, a former French Under-21 international hailing from the Lyon area but who now plays for Mali.
The African confederation are not the only ones to impose a mandatory attendance requirement for their award-winners.
The Asian Player of the Year is subject to the same rule - and fair enough, you might say. If you're going to pick up a prestigious honour, you should at least turn up.
So how come, when the gong was presented on a quiet Wednesday evening last November, Saudi Arabia's Yasser Al-Qahtani was the best player who happened to be passing by the auditorium on awards night?
Where was Shunsuke Nakamura? Where was Park Ji-Sung? Where were all the Aussies - Cahill, Viduka, even Lucas Neill would have done.
Well, that evening also featured eight Champions League games, plus some Premier League action. There was UEFA Cup the following day.
And where was the award ceremony? Oh, that's right - Australia.
- - -
In light of the racist abuse hurled at Lewis Hamilton, Early Doors would like to join the media in condemning the land of Spain, all its inhabitants and anyone who has ever eaten tapas or ordered a San Miguel.
First it was the England football team, now the inflatable-donkey-waving, flamenco-dancing, Siesta-taking, sangria-slurping, half-finished-hotel-dwelling, chorizo-eating Manuels are having a go at our Lewis.
The only wonder is they arrived at the track in time to abuse him, what with the obvious threat to punctuality posed by their knackered Seat Ibizas and three-hour post-lunch naps.
Early Doors repeats: there is no room for racism in sport.
In all seriousness, every country countains a mixture of the good, the bad and the ugly. Slagging off Spain out of hand is hardly the right way to fight prejudice.
Although you have to wonder how a bunch of blacked-up morons with 'Hamilton's Familly (sic)' printed on their t-shirts were allowed into the track.
As acts of premeditated fan idiocy go, it was right up there with the Inter Milan ultras who set fire to a scooter and threw it from the top tier of the San Siro, or the Norwegian farmer who offered to sacrifice a goat before kick-off at a Tromso game.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "He has addressed us all on English. Surprisingly good English, too." Fabio Capello on Rio Ferdinand. No, wait...
FOREIGN VIEW: Marca trumpets: "The golden era of Spanish football begins here!"
BIRTHDAY TRIBUTE OF THE DAY: The Daily Sport salutes Cristiano Ronaldo on his 23rd birthday with a montage of his alleged former conquests and 23 fascinating facts including: His favourite colour is white.
COMING UP: England's Under-21s are in action later, but first we have live streaming of a very strong France 'A' side versus Congo! Watch video of Clichy, Flamini, Sagna, Diaby and even some non-Arsenal players right here from 5pm UK time.
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IM this storyI want to be a like a C.RONALDO,Because he is my hero player in Manchester United and Portugal.
From mohd.syafique on Tue Feb 05 11:32AMGeezer on the early morning news this morning (Spanish sports minister or something) saying that the Spanish supporters of any sport were the best behaved most NON racist in the world, HA! HA! wake up pal!
From mcdowell271 on Tue Feb 05 11:33AMYou can do a C.RONALDO.Like me..................C.RONALDO IS MY HEROOOOOOOOO9(C.RONALDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO).
From mohd.syafique on Tue Feb 05 11:34AMBedrifil- make a bridge and get over yourself! Have you ever told a sick joke? Mocked someone les fortunate? Yes? well shut up. We all know what happened at Abu Gharib- it's just a bit of harmless fun. The early doors guys don't condone it- and you know it!
From whfcuptonpark on Tue Feb 05 11:36AMthe comments are almost as good a read as the article itself today.... Nice one early doors!
From neilz101 on Tue Feb 05 11:36AMu lot do ma head in stop arguin over some stupid article
From chrissansom25 on Tue Feb 05 11:50AMforget bout ronaldo steven gerrard all the way m8
From chrissansom25 on Tue Feb 05 11:52AMThe sad thing is these despicable fans are in the minority with the majority of Spanish fans being decent sport-loving people. However, it is clear that something needs to be done to punish the minority that have caused offence. English clubs got banned from Europe in the 80s due to hooliganism which punished ALL fans not just the guilty ones. Organisations like the FIFA, the FIA and any other international bodies must take control and deal with the problem to make sport better for everyone. Small fines will not suffice. Drastic action is needed to teach people a proper lesson.
From rubenheimer on Tue Feb 05 11:54AM...you should know better by now - unsatisfied with ruffling the feathers of the ignorant british tabloid reading public who have no idea what racism truely means, now you're now boldly marching into a barrage of anti-ethnocentric ranting. Outstanding work. Man, that article is funny.
From simondenham on Tue Feb 05 11:56AMhow can anyone find such a sad subjet (racism ) funny !!!!
I m beside myself !!!
i would love to ear from the originator of that sad article !!!
I wonder if anyone considered the impact of such comment on public website
whilst anyone is indeed allowed to have an opinion is it really wise to share it so publicly ????
From stilysh02uk on Tue Feb 05 12:03PMKeep up the cracking work your Early doors makes me laugh everyday !
From simeon_greenough on Tue Feb 05 12:06PMGood to see that irony isn't dead. Well done stilysh02uk.
From stoohardman on Tue Feb 05 12:10PMwhere do we draw the line between racism, irony and just plan stupidity? "Fabio Capello's other "boot camp-style" rules include turning up on time for meetings and not stuffing yourself with room service. Blimey. Early Doors would rather take its chances at Abu Ghraib." yes i know there is irony and it is supposed to be funny, but what about if you took out Abu Ghraib and put in conentration camps, not so funny anymore huh?
"In light of the racist abuse hurled at Lewis Hamilton, Early Doors would like to join the media in condemning the land of Spain, all its inhabitants and anyone who has ever eaten tapas or ordered a San Miguel." this is just wrong. When was it okay to tell people to hate or dislike a group of people because a few of them did something wrong? So all the Brits are drunken bear-bellied hooligans? Thought not.From karim_eldib on Tue Feb 05 12:15PMWell done, stilysh02uk - typing proof that the British public still hasn't got a clue what racism is not.
Try ethnocentrism. But, (now this is gonna bake your noodle) they're being ironic - it's like putting check-side on a cue ball, yeah? Meh! I give up.
From simondenham on Tue Feb 05 12:20PMethnocentrism !!!!! one does wonder !! ethnic nepotism more like !!!!!
or just pure bad taste !!!
call it how u want it i m barely saying that as public broadcaster one should not expose one s opinion so loudly
evryone agree that the behaviour of some spanish individual was wrong but let s not reply to it by such narrow minded comment !!!!!From stilysh02uk on Tue Feb 05 12:37PMThankyou stilysh02uk for talking sense!!! Whatever you wish to call it, it is in bad taste, and we find this article offensive. There are racists in all countries and cultures, and these people should be pushised and ousted from sport (fans and sportsmen). We agree that those people have offended the vast majority of the public (in England , Spain and all other countries) but this article has offended me more!
From matthewjohnsharp on Tue Feb 05 12:47PMHappy 23rd B-day Christy
From grambok1984 on Tue Feb 05 12:59PM"bedfril: i will not be visiting your web site anymore"
big loss
get a job, and a new brain. there is no racism here, just humor used against it. if you don't get that, then PLEASE, go read Mickey Mouse
From finalmunty on Tue Feb 05 01:18PMOK, one last go 'for those at the back'... matthewjohnsharp, stilysh02uk, etc.
Tabloid headlines referring to "Our Lewis", who was recently made to endure racism durinf a recent visit to Spain (which is entirely unacceptable) now write articles in an attempt to side with "Our Lewis" using ethnocentric comments which are equally unacceptable. Early Doors is simply highlighting this nonsense compiling a list of commonly used tabloid rants and ironically state that they are "condemning the land of Spain, all its inhabitants and anyone who has ever eaten tapas or ordered a San Miguel".
It's really not that difficult to see that ED is actually condemning both racism and ethnocentrism. They even clearly state "Early Doors repeats: there is no room for racism in sport." FFS, what part of that don't you understand?
Now please try and keep up, or find something else to misunderstand.
From simondenham on Tue Feb 05 01:44PMThey say " Early Doors would like to join the media in condemning the land of Spain, all its inhabitants and anyone who has ever eaten tapas or ordered a San Miguel." simple enough, they are agreeing and consolidating with the newspapers opinions. That is a statement!! Yes they do say "Early Doors repeats: there is no room for racism in sport.". I agree with them on this!
From matthewjohnsharp on Tue Feb 05 01:55PMMeh! No single person can be so dim. How many are you?
From simondenham on Tue Feb 05 02:54PMi m sad to see that some people believe that indeed it is fine somehow funny to have such comment posted " it s all about humor " or in my case the lack of it !!!
whilst i m not saying that anyone who edited that blog are racist i will stand my case in saying that the post was off bad taste to say the list !!
it s also in my view very sad that the originator off the blog didn t care enough to post a reply maybe clarified there statment !!!!
whilst some of you think that it s acceptable to ironicly disrespect one an other i can t stop wondering how you would fell if the "joke" was on you !!!
then again i m sure that because it s only ironic to edit that kind of blog you still will spend your next holiday in spain !!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IRONIC !!!!!!!!!!!
or so tragic ???From stilysh02uk on Tue Feb 05 02:56PMMan Alive!!!! Early Doors, please refrain from even being funny, ironic, witty or in any way clever again. Please also refrain from trying to tackle any serious issues in sport in any way that even approaches mildly amusing. Why? Is it because I’m offended by the content? No. I find it funny, ironic, witty and clever. So why? Well, it’s just that I’ve had enough of people who have clearly missed the point of the post and feel they have to respond with bland and predictable replies. People who pick arguments where arguments don’t exist. Light hearted, and yes, lets use the word again, IRONIC, commentaries have been made about serious issues in the British press for decades. Private Eye, Have I Got News for You, Mock the Week – all examples of this used very well. If you want to read cold hard news with no funny business then read the news – NOT A BLOG!
From rubenheimer on Tue Feb 05 03:05PMohhh i see so because it s a "blog" reaching possibly anyone and evryone it s okay to takle a serious issue and make it a mockery !!!
i respect evryone s point of view but come on should whoever responsable not be a little more carefull about the content edited !!!!!From stilysh02uk on Tue Feb 05 03:13PMWow, been out for a couple of hours and this one really has gone off the rails. I suppose there is a case for being more careful in what you post online, as - simiarly to email communications - there is no visual aspect to communication that can be such an important factor in understanding. No ironic smirk or suppressed laughter...
However, to anyone with a basic grasp of the English language and a non-single digit brain cell count, ED's non-racist stance is abundantly clear. It is exactly as simondenham says, simply a case of listing all the usual ridiculous stereotypes as a way of highlighting the whole issue - an of course demonstrating how mild racism can be alive and kicking much closer to home.
Still, where people want to take offence they will. In the eternal words of that well-known liberal Jim Davidson, "it's political correctness gone mad!". To everyone who takes offence at this posting, it was not meant to hurt, merely to highlight the stupidity of racism. And, judging by the responses, boy has it worked.
From garethcoletranslations on Tue Feb 05 03:39PM" Early Doors would like to join the media in condemning the land of Spain, all its inhabitants and anyone who has ever eaten tapas or ordered a San Miguel."
political corectness gone wrong !!!!!
one does wonder !!!From stilysh02uk on Tue Feb 05 03:47PMsarcasm - the use of remarks which clearly mean the opposite of what they say, which are made in order to criticize something in an amusing way.
You're obviously soooo way out of your depth that you're in danger of becoming more funny than the original article was!
Now, save some face and tell everyone you're just winding them up - it's cringingly embarrassing. It's not Ricky Gervais is it?
From simondenham on Tue Feb 05 04:35PMEarly Doors would like to thank everybody for their views - it is truly humbled to be the subject of such fevered and, at times, highbrow debate. This blog does not condone being nasty to Spanish people or anyone else unless they are overpaid footballers who probably deserve it. That whole inflatable donkey thing was, of course, ironic. Peace.
From early.doors on Tue Feb 05 04:55PMDear EarlyDoors, I don't get it - what is wrong with "waving" an inflatable donkey? What else are you going to do, er, "sit" on it? Funny old world...
From garethcoletranslations on Tue Feb 05 05:10PMokay
first
ed s thx for u r ironic apologie (maybe sensitive issue could have been handled in a better way ) nevertheless thx
second
simondenham i m not nor desire to be ricky gervais (by along shot )
i just beleive that racism in any shape or form isn t appropriate nor is descrimination
it is u r view that beeing ironic make it ok !!
well keep telling urself that and u might actually believe it !!!!!
finally as sad as it might sound i condemn and always will all sort of racism ,bullying and all sort of harasment !!!!
be aware one day the so call "joke " might be on you !!!!!!From stilysh02uk on Tue Feb 05 05:17PM
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