Idol banter
Fri Apr 18 08:58AM
Early Doors, it is fair to say, remained less than captivated by events at Goodison Park last night, dipping in only during the breaks in Mariah Carey week on American Idol.
ED would love nothing more than to bore you with the details of every performance and the judges' verdicts ("Yo yo, check it out, dog. It started out a bit pitchy for me but it was a-ight, man. I wasn't mad at you but I didn't love it.").
But it will save the Idol special for another day, other than to point out that Tim Cahill is not actually out for the season with a foot injury. In fact he is conquering the hearts of America in the guise of a talented but slightly creepy 17-year-old by the name of David Archuleta (above).
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Chelsea might have won last night, but that didn't put a stop to the Grant-baiting, particularly after uncle Avram's monosyllabic display in the post-match press conference.
He said he didn't know what pleased him about the performance, whether Chelsea were in title race or indeed why he was so reluctant to say more than three words at a time.
He also claimed he had "no message" for the Chelsea fans, which is probably less inflammatory than "get stuffed, you ungrateful louts".
Grant's behaviour unsurprisingly provoked outrage and derision from the media, who always get whipped into a frenzy when somebody disrespects the media.
The Sun asked: "Av you gone mad?", while The Mirror dubbed him "Avram Grunt", which may not have been the most sensitive selection given Grant is Jewish and grunting is what pigs do.
Grant has been treated so badly by his club, the fans and the media that the only thing he can do is win a trophy and then tell them to shove it up their collective rear end.
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While flicking through the glossy magazines brought to its lair by Her In Doors (honest), ED couldn't help but notice Cheryl Cole has been parading around without her wedding ring following Ashley's recent alleged indiscretions.
The Geordie songstress had attempted to shrug off talk of a rift between them by claiming she has discarded the ring simply because she has lost weight and it keeps slipping off.
To paraphrase Ashley's most famous quote: "She's taking the p***!"
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Carlos Tevez has, it says here, "stunned" team-mates with his choice of nightclub beverage. While Rio and the gang are popping Cris and sipping 'Yac, Carlitos prefers to kick back with a soothing cup of tea.
A source told the Sun: "Carlos likes to hit nightspots with the team, but while others knock back alcoholic drinks, he often has tea. His mates find it hilarious."
So hilarious, in fact, that they have given him a side-splitting nickname: 'Carlos Tea-vez'! Who says there are no characters in football any more?
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Cricket's Indian Premier League kicks off, or whatever it is cricketers do when they start a match, today.
While ED will leave the in-depth analysis to its flannel-wearing sibling Cow Corner, it can't help but express its excitement at the groundbreaking project, and has already downloaded its Kolkata Knight Riders wallpaper ahead of today's opener in Bangalore.
If a traditional sport like cricket can embrace the Twenty20 format and a league where teams are basically picked in a big playground with money, how come football remains stuck in the mud?
Compared with the IPL, the '39th game' concept is positively conservative, yet it provoked a storm of protest.
And football is the last major sport not to make use of video technology, even for obvious stuff like whether the ball has crossed the line.
This resistance to change seems bizarre given the massive change and commercialisation elsewhere in the game.
Put it this way - the next time Arsenal field 11 players from Islington, Early Doors will listen to people complaining about foreign ownership and games going abroad. Until then, sit down and shut up.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I'm still alive - you can't kill me." Avram Grant. Not without garlic and a stake to the heart, you can't.
ASSESSMENT OF ALEX FERGUSON'S EATING HABITS OF THE DAY: "I had lunch with Alex on Monday..he's as hungry now as he was in 1986." Bryan Robson reveals Fergie still likes a good feed even in his later years.
FOREIGN VIEW: Does nobody notice that the transfer rumours in Corriere dello Sport always turn out to be a load of horse dung? Today, Roma winger Mancini is off to Juventus. Only he isn't really.
TALKING POINT: Early Doors's plea for no swearing yesterday fell on deaf ears so, like naughty schoolkids, you're not going to get a talking point today. Just bicker amongst yourselves.
COMING UP: The hilarious Cow Corner has full coverage of the IPL opener, while on the football front we have the usual weekend previews and Fantasy Football cheat sheet.
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IM this storyI think Grant is doing the right thing taking the heat off the team and focusing the spotlight on himself. At least that's what I hope he is doing.
Hahaha, love the Robson quote
Great article!
From aardhaart on Fri Apr 18 09:02AMTut tut ED, the boy looks nothing like Tim "Punch-a-corner-flag" Cahill.
Can't really blame Grant for acting like a petulant child. Every thing he does seems to provoke even more stick. Even saying nothing. I guess he's just not a likeable person cos even the fans stick the boot in when he's winning.
From aquapond1 on Fri Apr 18 09:14AMOnce upon a time a Spanish Club spent millions and bought lots of Galacticos. however they had moderate success compared to money spent and alleged calibre of player. It was then tried in England with again moderate success against money spent etc. Chelsea's current position would please most other clubs but is unacceptable against money spent.
I compare Grant to when Dalglish became Liverpool manager. both not talkative people. BUT both took over very strong squads and most fans on the terrace would have managed them to some success. the test is keeping the momentum going. Dalglish couldn't do it. Grant may not get the chance to try...but it would prove his ability...as long as he didn't have unlimited transfer funds...as again anyone can buy a certain degree of success. dalglish did it for one season at Blackburn.From mike_burwin on Fri Apr 18 09:35AMGive Grant a boot already.......Yesterday display was far from convincing, again. aquapond1 said that Grant gets' a stick no matter what he does, but if you've been watching them play this year day in, day out, he should have got not only the stick but the whole tree up his ......Excuse my french.
Anyway, not for the Grant sFrom al_pachino666 on Fri Apr 18 09:49AMLet's face it, most people who work in the media are complete @rseholes (ED excluded possibly), so if they are hacked off with Avram Grant, I think they need to find someone who gives a cr@p. The man has his team fighting for silverware on two fronts currently. Who cares whether he is as dull as ditch water. Results are the thing. As for the game, I said a couple of days ago that Everton's gas tank was empty, and it sure is. How desperate can you be to bring on Thomas Gravesen in an attempt to IMPROVE things?? He was a embarrassment, completely out of his depth. It is bizarre because three years ago he was bossing the midfield and attracting the attention of Man U and Real Madrid, where he foolishly went to be a bench warmer. All downhill from there - he reminds me of a senile uncle who used to be a great guy but now just drools in a corner in a nursing home. As for the goal, although Howard has made some fantastic saves in recent games, I thought his effort at stopping Essien was poor. Isn't the rule that keepers should make themselves big and intimidating in those situations - come out, arms up and out, and stand tall? (Schmeichel springs to mind.) Howard came out like a hunchback, and although the ball went to his left, his left hand was by his side, and he tried to punch the ball with his right. Chris Woods is a coach at the club - have a word with Howard will you?!
From andywalker269 on Fri Apr 18 09:51AMake but for Chelsea, we are still within a chance of winning the title. Blackburn do us a favour please
))From al_pachino666 on Fri Apr 18 09:51AMSince when a manager's ability and performance is based on post match talks???
Enjoy the silence my friends, I prefer Grant's confusing lack of words to Morinho's pick a fight after every match....
Crucify him if you like, the fans and the media are doing it, and no denying one can make some mistakes, yet he did better than 18 other clubs after taking over the worst seat at the worst time. Some people talk about money, endless money at chelsea, no one talks about staying a season long sighted in cross hairs...
I admire him for 2 things:
1)He aint blaming referees as much as others might, neither blaming schedules and weather
2)So far no fighting going on, he never dignified the people constantly criticizing him or his teamFrom jacquesbittar on Fri Apr 18 09:58AMYeah, whatever, ED should tell us to go learn the queen's tongue... Or should ED learn it rather. A few grammar lessons wouldn't do you any bad, you know... since when do we say as in "or whatever it is cricketers do when they starts a match"???
From yawboakye86 on Fri Apr 18 10:06AMThat'll be spelling, not grammar. ;o) "A few grammar lessons wouldn't do you any bad" - irony...?
p.s. Is the question-mark on your keyboard stuck?
From simondenham on Fri Apr 18 10:13AMSee what you have done ED? Because you didn't give us something to bicker about we are reduced to correcting each others abysmal grammar.
From reynoldsj_2000 on Fri Apr 18 10:20AMwhy are people considering arene wenger as a good manager when he is laying in fifth and calling grant completely useless when chelsea is second? also remember that he started his chelsea regin in a less favorable posistion in the league something like 15th or somewhere in the bottom half after that 'special one' did a 'crxp' job to leave them near the end. why is there no one giving mourinho the sticks (or the tree) when he didn't win the premier league last year and instead giving grant a hard time when he was only picking up the shxt left by mourinho?? maybe chelsea fans should come back to reality and try to understand why mourinho get the sack. i believe if mourinho was still here, chelsea would be nowhere as high up in the league as it is now.
From vitorlam on Fri Apr 18 10:22AMsorry, i mean third
From vitorlam on Fri Apr 18 10:23AMsorry, i mean third
From vitorlam on Fri Apr 18 10:24AMPeople who complain about the commercialisation of the Premier League should be forced to sit through games in the lower leagues for a while. Money is much less of a factor. Mind you, so is (arguably) the quality of the football or the facilities in the grounds but people still go, week in week out. Passion for football isn't formed by advertising deals. Everyone wants to see their team win but its time to accept the Premier League as nothing more than a circus. People go for entertainment not for football.
From rubenheimer on Fri Apr 18 10:26AMBickering and personal insults are starting to become the norm here, rather than a bit of banter and some light hearted stuff. Since ED didn't set a talking point today, maybe it is some sort of lab rat-type social experiment to see how we all behave. But maybe I am giving ED too much credit lol. By the way, I thought the David James barnet piece the other day was great, but I only got to see the actual save last night, just as I was taking a gulp of beer, with ED's comments on the subject in the back of my mind. Result? Beer sprayed everywhere because I was laughing so much!
From andywalker269 on Fri Apr 18 10:28AM"People go for entertainment not for football."
From double_t_uk2002 on Fri Apr 18 10:32AMI'm loving the fact that without a set topic we seem to have had (mostly) reasonable discussions on the post that was written. I'm certain that's the intention for having this "comment on article" facility in the first place. Its great that people have strong opinions about football and its certainly inevitable that discussions will arise out of the comments but maybe Early Doors should set us up with a Message Board to allow us to continue talking? We don't necessarily want all the discussions to continue under each blog post...
From rubenheimer on Fri Apr 18 10:35AMI hate Chelsea. I hate Chelsea so much I hope Grant wins the CL and tells everyone there to stuff it up what ED said in his blog.
Grant is way too smart for the average British football religious fanatic!
From eliotot on Fri Apr 18 10:37AMCompletely unrelated to today's blog, or football for that matter, but i just read on the front page of Yahoo! that a Russian man got stabbed in the back by a workmate (security guard) and was too drunk to notice, until his wife alerted him the next day! Hmm, i wonder what he had to say on the matter...
"We got drunk together. Things happen when you drink."
Classic Russia.
From the_kop2003 on Fri Apr 18 10:42AMLoved the "What the managers didn't say" story. Perhaps this could be a regular?
Alex Ferguson: "We were beaten by the better team", "The Ref played a blinder", "I was annoyed to see Cristiano diving"
Arsene Wenger: "It was a bad challenge from my player", "Yes i saw it clearly", "Justin Hoyte isn't any good"
Gordon Strachan: "We deserved that defeat", "I love the press"
Any others?
From kevmun82 on Fri Apr 18 10:49AMA friend of mind got really drunk one night and fell into his front door, he never noticed any damage but when he woke up he needed 65 stitches in his forehead, things happen when you drink!!!!
From reynoldsj_2000 on Fri Apr 18 10:51AMthe premier league is the best league in the world no doubt, but its come at a price to the england national team. its restricted young players coming through the ranks, and because they are such a rareity, the prices of these young players are stupidly high, which puts most managers off. The smaller teams in the prem league cud learn from the spl, most teams have good youth systems and field pretty much all young scots, with decent success e.g Dundee United & Hibs spring to mind. This has been, in my opinion the reason for the national teams improvement, even the old firm have realised this is the way forward. More teams should follow West Hams lead and start giving the youngsters their chances. The FA Youth Cup Final was of a high standard and from that evidence, would it really be such a gamble?
From marcgrant7 on Fri Apr 18 10:56AMTo rubenheime
And I also think that it would be very nice, if we could comment on any article....From al_pachino666 on Fri Apr 18 10:57AMPersonally, I'd love Chelsea to do the double (even as a Liverpooll fan) and then Avram to tell all associated with the club to sod off... and then do so himself – to somewhere his talent (albeit less then 'the special one'
will be appreciated. It sickens me to witness the lack of respect in football in general. Look at the turmoil the Blues were in when Grant took over, and look at Chelsea's points tally and cup runs. When Mourinho moaned like a child and danced around outside his technical area, it was perceived as a clever way of drawing attention/media spotlight/pressure away from his players. Surely Grant is doing the same thing, only in his own, Adam's Family-esque way?From mdavis_design on Fri Apr 18 11:00AMI broke my arm in two places while inebriated and didn't notice till the next morning when i woke up almost crying with pain.
Not fun!
From kevmun82 on Fri Apr 18 11:09AMIs it me or does ED get better when still drunk from the night before!?
From cdbragg on Fri Apr 18 11:15AMHow can you say that mdavis_design and admit your a Liverpool fan?
Hey why have you got hold of my arm, oi stop twisting it...
Oh. Your winding me up.Liverpool to win against Chelsea at Anfield and go to extra time at Stamford Bridge, considering all the shenanigans surrounding both teams at the moment i truly expect the football to do the talking!
From the_kop2003 on Fri Apr 18 11:17AMBORING BORING BORING CHELSEA PLAYED AGAINST AN EVERTON TEAM WHO WAS VERY POOR AND NO FUEL LEFT TIM HOWARD WELL HE WAS GOT RID FROM MAN U , THAT SAYS ALOT ABOUT HIM , CHELSEA SURLEL CAN PLAY BETTER WITH THE TEAM THEY HAVE ???? YES THEY ARE WINNING BUT THE FANS WHO WATCH THEM MUST BE REALLY BORING ALSO, APART FROM THOSE WHO CAN SEE THE DEMISE OF THIS TEAM , MAN U WILL WIN AT CHELSEA BY EASY TWO GOAL MARGIN , DROGBA IS TO LEAVE THE CLUB AND A LOT MORE ALSO THE RUSSIAN MIGHT HAVE MONEY BUT MUST BE TOTALLY BLIND AS TO WHAT WE SEE EVERY GAME ,
From pompey80uk on Fri Apr 18 11:21AM"People go for entertainment not for football."
What happened to the rest of my post ED, it got deleted
and I can't be bothered to retype it, but my point was that football is entertainment! People would rather go watch a prem league match than a poor quality one in the lower leagues.From double_t_uk2002 on Fri Apr 18 11:23AMThe glorious Manchester United to beat the crap out of everyone and do the double.
From reynoldsj_2000 on Fri Apr 18 11:24AM
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