Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Stop press: John Terry England captain

Wed Aug 20 08:57AM

Early Doors complained yesterday about the lack of surprises in modern football, and almost immediately it was rewarded with one: John Terry named England captain.

Of course, it wasn't actually news, as Early Doors faintly remembers something similar happening a couple of years ago.

But some people thought Terry's leadership technique of "shout loudly and cry if things go wrong" was a bit too, well, English for Capello.

Instead it was thought Don Fabio would prefer the more cultured Rio Ferdinand and his sophisticated "shout loudly and accidentally kick a woman if things go wrong" approach.

Such is the lack of decent news that it was considered something of a shock for the incumbent England captain to be named England captain again.

It seems modern football has boiled down to a core of about seven stories, which are constantly recycled according to a strict rotation policy on Sky Sports's 'breaking news' bar:

Barry wants Liverpool move
Barton pleads guilty to FA/criminal charge
Cristiano Ronaldo to leave Manchester United
Shady foreign owner "totally committed" to club
Cristiano Ronaldo to stay at Manchester United
Smug git Kenyon targets world domination
Injury blow for Tottenham star
John Terry named England captain

Capello said Terry got the nod over Ferdinand because of his "big personality", which is not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Geri Halliwell has got a big personality. Bradley Walsh has got a big personality. Ian Wright has got a big personality. But you wouldn't want to be trapped in a lift with any of them - much less play in the same football team.

In terms of personality size, Ferdinand didn't quite cut the mustard despite the buffoonery of Rio's World Cup wind-ups and that incident in the tunnel at Stamford Bridge.

It seems hard to believe, but Rio's mistake was in not larging it enough. A few more UK garage goal celebrations and petulant, spittle-filled rants at referees might just have tipped the balance in his favour.

Terry revealed that, in missing out on the captaincy, Ferdinand showed the streak of decency that might just have proved his downfall.

"The first thing Rio did was turn and shake my hand. That's a measure of the kind of guy he is," he said.

What would Terry have done had he missed out? Sat there and wept uncontrollably, pretty much by his own admission.

He said: "I would have been really disappointed if I hadn't got it, of course. Would I have been gutted? Of course."

"Would I have dissolved into attention-seeking tears and displayed a disproportionate level of 'grief'? Most definitely," Terry didn't add.

- - -

It is hoped that Capello's arrival will see England abandon the headless chicken approach in favour of a tactically astute style of play.

But there is more chance of Gary Glitter appearing on the next Children In Need single.

Joe Cole said on Monday: "I can guarantee we have 23 men who are ready to run through brick walls for each other."

Running through brick walls is all very well if you are on Gladiators, but Early Doors suspects a Croatian would probably just use the door.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Alex Curran reveals husband Steven Gerrard's obsession with cleanliness: "We didn't leave the pool on holiday because Steven doesn't like to get his feet dirty in the sand. The pool is cleaner. And if he reads a newspaper he has to wash his hands straight away." Which doesn't explain why he is so eager to chuck himself to the deck and get his knees all mucky.

OLYMPIAN OF THE DAY: An unnamed women's 10k open water swimmer who adopted the tactic of tugging back the feet of Britain's Cassie Patten. "I was quite annoyed, it's not sportsmanship when you pull on someone's feet," said a peeved Patten.

'DRUGS' STORY OF THE DAY: Table tennis chiefs fear players are inadvertently getting high as kites on the 'speed glue' they use on their bats. "You breathe it too much and you begin to lose your balance. It is a bit like a table tennis drug," said Peter Gardos, an Austrian coach.

FOREIGN VIEW: Following the trend of recycling old news stories, Italy's Corriere dello Sport claims that Andriy Shevchenko is going to sign for Milan, again. This time it will be on loan from the 'Chelse'.

TALKING POINT: Early Doors asked yesterday for the England stars of 2010, and you proferred the following suggestions for 'Next big crushing disappointment': Ashley Young, Jack Wilshere, Michael Johnson and Theo Walcott (again) and, er, Dean Windass.

Meanwhile aquapond1 jumps on the Gary Glitter joke bandwagon: "Arsene Wenger better keep a watchful eye over his squad. Nasri and Walcott especially might be tempted by the prospect of Sherbert Lemons."

Today - Where will you watch tonight's game? And if you're doing something more interesting, what is it?

COMING UP: Full coverage of England versus Czech Republic from 8pm, plus Norway v Republic of Ireland and Scotland v Northern Ireland.

Comments1 - 30 of 406
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First
From nyachdutoit on Wed Aug 20 08:59AM
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Core of seven stories..............yet eight titles!!
come on ED surely simple counting isn't beyond you ? is it?
From andyc147 on Wed Aug 20 09:01AM
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Damn you nyachdutoit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From theodorecastro on Wed Aug 20 09:04AM
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Morning everyone before you get excited about John Terry I recommend everyone checks out some seriously apoplectic blogging on http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/beijing/blog/four
th_place_medal/post/The-REAL-Olympic-medal-count?u
rn=oly,101537&post_comment=1&success=1
Have a nice day
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 09:06AM
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Damn you too theodorecastro. I will first for the whole week.
From nyachdutoit on Wed Aug 20 09:09AM
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Damn you too theodorecastro. I will be first for the whole week.
From nyachdutoit on Wed Aug 20 09:09AM
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two titles are about Ronaldo and Man Utd so same story - Derrr
From gashaw65 on Wed Aug 20 09:10AM
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Damn you too theodorecastro. You will never be first. I will be first for the rest of the week.
From nyachdutoit on Wed Aug 20 09:16AM
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Well if your upset about not being first I recommend you follow the good example of John Terry and cry rather than the bad example of Rio Ferdinand
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 09:17AM
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I'll watch it in a pub full of Spanish people and make them all buy me a round when we lose. Its funner to bet on your team losing because either way at least you sort of win.
From the.clanger on Wed Aug 20 09:17AM
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that doesn't count as the same story
From andyc147 on Wed Aug 20 09:17AM
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ED you missed the 8th on going saga about when Kevin Keegan is going to quit
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 09:18AM
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I probably won't be watching the Scotland game tonight or indeed any of them I have paint to watch drying on a bench in the pishing rain! Before anyone asks how I know its going to rain I just do, I live in a town where its rain for the last like three weeks, even if its been glorious sunshine during the day its pishing it down by 7pm!
From claire881 on Wed Aug 20 09:19AM
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Wasn’t nice to Steve G back at the weekend filling in his honorary title of PFA turf inspector. The amount of work this guy puts in every week checking up close the quality of the turf in all the grounds is an example to us all, But just few points of points Steve
1. Don’t you have time before the game? as you impromptu inspections sometimes up set the flow of the game.
2. Please remember that their is a whole pitch look after not just in and around the penalty area
3. Surely you know the level of the Anfield pitch all ready, you have surveyed that oh so many times.
and still with this " first" nonsense
From kev_tech2003 on Wed Aug 20 09:20AM
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ill probably watch it in a buddhist position, reminding myself that things can only get better for england
From risker15 on Wed Aug 20 09:20AM
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I didn't damn you cos you were first, nyachdutoit. I just wanted to damn you!
From theodorecastro on Wed Aug 20 09:22AM
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Joe Cole makes it sound like the England team is full of Albanian bullet head bouncers with a combined IQ of 6 maybe it is time to ban the Terminator videos from the team Hotel
Does Joe Cole know the difference between rugby and football ?
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 09:22AM
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7. that was the point. 1 says stayin and 1 says going. derrr
Did everyone read all the comments on thestory of Terry bein captain? It was funny. fans are a disgrace. basically they said England now cant win a game cause of this decision and Capello will nee to be sacked. I love how thick people are. I especially love the people that write,"Im a Chelsea fan but this is a terrible decision" prob are a Chelsea fan I think
From sav46e on Wed Aug 20 09:24AM
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arti at least we can play rugby...
From risker15 on Wed Aug 20 09:24AM
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being able to play rugby aint a good thing. its a terrible sport!
I dnt really understand ur abuse for joe cole
From sav46e on Wed Aug 20 09:31AM
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It will be a @#$% up between watching England or the English Patient for me heads its the game tails its the patient, damn my last coin dropped through the floor boards guess I'll have to take my gf out for dinner instead
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 09:34AM
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O MY GOT GERRARD OLMALIYDI
From yldzysm on Wed Aug 20 09:39AM
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well i have nothing to do tonight...so ill probably watch big brother live....there is way more cahnce of an englishman scoring in there.
From raulpeeves on Wed Aug 20 09:39AM
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I have it on good authority that Germany are organising themselves in preparation for an onslaught on Rugby I hope England will ready to loose regularly when they do
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 09:39AM
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A bit unfair to JT tbh
From jowitherden on Wed Aug 20 09:42AM
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I don't understand why Joe Cole thinks 23 England footy players should be ready to run through brick walls, I know most footy players come from building back grounds but it does sounds rather like Don Fab is preparing the team for something other than ninety minuets of stylish winning football
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 09:43AM
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Watching tonights game!? don't think so! It's a good oppurtunity to take the misses out and pretend I care by sacrificing the big england game..........sucker!
From davewhitt_2002 on Wed Aug 20 09:46AM
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Maidin Mhaith go Lear (Good morning All)
From kevin1985kane on Wed Aug 20 09:48AM
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Kantong Sam check 'On this week August 18-24' 3rd Item First Match Screened on Match of The Day Liverpool v Gooners audience 20,000 half the number that were in attendance at the Kop, result 3:2
Somethings never change
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 09:49AM
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Easy on Stevie G, its hard to stay on your feet when sometimes you have to carry the hold team on your shoulders!!
From kevin1985kane on Wed Aug 20 09:51AM
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