Stop press: John Terry England captain
Wed Aug 20 08:57AM
Early Doors complained yesterday about the lack of surprises in modern football, and almost immediately it was rewarded with one: John Terry named England captain.
Of course, it wasn't actually news, as Early Doors faintly remembers something similar happening a couple of years ago.
But some people thought Terry's leadership technique of "shout loudly and cry if things go wrong" was a bit too, well, English for Capello.
Instead it was thought Don Fabio would prefer the more cultured Rio Ferdinand and his sophisticated "shout loudly and accidentally kick a woman if things go wrong" approach.
Such is the lack of decent news that it was considered something of a shock for the incumbent England captain to be named England captain again.
It seems modern football has boiled down to a core of about seven stories, which are constantly recycled according to a strict rotation policy on Sky Sports's 'breaking news' bar:
Barry wants Liverpool move
Barton pleads guilty to FA/criminal charge
Cristiano Ronaldo to leave Manchester United
Shady foreign owner "totally committed" to club
Cristiano Ronaldo to stay at Manchester United
Smug git Kenyon targets world domination
Injury blow for Tottenham star
John Terry named England captain
Capello said Terry got the nod over Ferdinand because of his "big personality", which is not exactly a ringing endorsement.
Geri Halliwell has got a big personality. Bradley Walsh has got a big personality. Ian Wright has got a big personality. But you wouldn't want to be trapped in a lift with any of them - much less play in the same football team.
In terms of personality size, Ferdinand didn't quite cut the mustard despite the buffoonery of Rio's World Cup wind-ups and that incident in the tunnel at Stamford Bridge.
It seems hard to believe, but Rio's mistake was in not larging it enough. A few more UK garage goal celebrations and petulant, spittle-filled rants at referees might just have tipped the balance in his favour.
Terry revealed that, in missing out on the captaincy, Ferdinand showed the streak of decency that might just have proved his downfall.
"The first thing Rio did was turn and shake my hand. That's a measure of the kind of guy he is," he said.
What would Terry have done had he missed out? Sat there and wept uncontrollably, pretty much by his own admission.
He said: "I would have been really disappointed if I hadn't got it, of course. Would I have been gutted? Of course."
"Would I have dissolved into attention-seeking tears and displayed a disproportionate level of 'grief'? Most definitely," Terry didn't add.
- - -
It is hoped that Capello's arrival will see England abandon the headless chicken approach in favour of a tactically astute style of play.
But there is more chance of Gary Glitter appearing on the next Children In Need single.
Joe Cole said on Monday: "I can guarantee we have 23 men who are ready to run through brick walls for each other."
Running through brick walls is all very well if you are on Gladiators, but Early Doors suspects a Croatian would probably just use the door.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: Alex Curran reveals husband Steven Gerrard's obsession with cleanliness: "We didn't leave the pool on holiday because Steven doesn't like to get his feet dirty in the sand. The pool is cleaner. And if he reads a newspaper he has to wash his hands straight away." Which doesn't explain why he is so eager to chuck himself to the deck and get his knees all mucky.
OLYMPIAN OF THE DAY: An unnamed women's 10k open water swimmer who adopted the tactic of tugging back the feet of Britain's Cassie Patten. "I was quite annoyed, it's not sportsmanship when you pull on someone's feet," said a peeved Patten.
'DRUGS' STORY OF THE DAY: Table tennis chiefs fear players are inadvertently getting high as kites on the 'speed glue' they use on their bats. "You breathe it too much and you begin to lose your balance. It is a bit like a table tennis drug," said Peter Gardos, an Austrian coach.
FOREIGN VIEW: Following the trend of recycling old news stories, Italy's Corriere dello Sport claims that Andriy Shevchenko is going to sign for Milan, again. This time it will be on loan from the 'Chelse'.
TALKING POINT: Early Doors asked yesterday for the England stars of 2010, and you proferred the following suggestions for 'Next big crushing disappointment': Ashley Young, Jack Wilshere, Michael Johnson and Theo Walcott (again) and, er, Dean Windass.
Meanwhile aquapond1 jumps on the Gary Glitter joke bandwagon: "Arsene Wenger better keep a watchful eye over his squad. Nasri and Walcott especially might be tempted by the prospect of Sherbert Lemons."
Today - Where will you watch tonight's game? And if you're doing something more interesting, what is it?
COMING UP: Full coverage of England versus Czech Republic from 8pm, plus Norway v Republic of Ireland and Scotland v Northern Ireland.
certainly is doruhast
love it!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:18PMI also love Seinfeld... I saw all the seasons. Kramer is the best.
From doru03hast on Wed Aug 20 08:24PMi love seinfeld too - Kramer rocks, but GEORGE is king!
"If it were socially acceptable, I would drape myself in velvet"
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:30PMWell atleast you didn't respond with a barage of insults which is what I was expecting you to do. You probably are quite mature then. That comment you made- ( ‘i guess you just prefer to see the dark side of things... The glass is always half empty for you’) was pretty accurate. You have actually hit the nail on the head there. Ever think of becoming a shrink? Im not mean though. Only on ED.
From samuelbanks on Wed Aug 20 08:32PMone of my favorite episodes is The Opposite... George at his best
From doru03hast on Wed Aug 20 08:35PMif you see the glass as half empty that does not mean you are seeing the dark side of things... it depends on what is in the glass
From doru03hast on Wed Aug 20 08:36PMJUJYFRUITS!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:37PMIt became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong.
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:38PMif every instinct you had was wrong, then the opposite should be right
From doru03hast on Wed Aug 20 08:42PMsamuel: we all like to 'take the piss' in australia, but Im not mean either -
but i will get the insults (nasty ones, not tongue in cheek as i do most of the time) I get those insults out for people that insult me... ( ;) and the occasional manchester united supporter, but no one will shoot me for that will they?) but I wont be called a slàg for example and sit here quietly and accept it...
I think samuel that positivity attracts positivity in life in general - you should stick to that philosophy ;)
funny for the shrink bit !From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:44PMMy name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:46PM"You know that guy you see, when you stop off at the convenience store in that little town on the way to Grandma's house? Sort of shifty looking fella who buys a packet of smokes, a couple'a lotto tickets and a 'Tall Boy' at 10 AM in the morning? The kind of guy you wait to come out before you and your family go in? Well... that's me. My name is Earl. And if you took the time to really get to know me, find out what kind of person I really am instead of just stereotyping me, because of the way I look... well, you'd be wasting your time. 'Cause I'm exactly who you think I am. Hell, I'll pretty much steal anything that's not nailed down." - Earl Hickey
KARMA ROCKS!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:50PMKarma is what its all about Samuel ;)
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:50PMDon’t we get banned for spamming?
From doru03hast on Wed Aug 20 08:51PMdoes this look like an avatar that cares? ;)
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:52PMim watching the sweden france game and im so bored i have time to leave stupid things on the ED blog... how sad
FRANCE SUCKS NOW ZINEDINE IS GONE
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:53PMthank god for benzema but he aint no zinedine ...
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:58PMThat’s a much better avatar kantong. And that (post362) was very deep, even moving. I have suddenly seen you in a whole different light. Im not usually one to backtrack but I might have to withdraw what I said about you earlier. I hate doin it, but im doin it anyway.
From samuelbanks on Wed Aug 20 08:59PMwhere for art thou thy jcpotvin = wornout keyboard?
long time no see on Ed ?
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 08:59PMwell thats very nice of you samuel - lets agree to a peaceful truce - no need to withdraw what you said - I am totally immature. And happy that way!
I have to change my avatar regularly or it annoys me - tonight im feeling the power of the (police) force, trying it out for a test drive
if only Henry could have felt the force. maybe then france wouldnt be doing so badly...
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:04PMby the way, the reason why I hang out on here and post stupid things on ED is cause I watch the games on my puter ;) and when the game's slow, i get bored quick
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:06PMWatchin the England game on the internet here. Heskey is on. So much for change. I don't think it matters whos managing england. it'll always be the same idiots out on the pitch. czechs hav just scored.
From samuelbanks on Wed Aug 20 09:06PMC O M P U T E R is not a dirty word. Microsoft is though and its not censored...
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:06PMI really think its a confidence issue samuel - they have the ability and the talent to do it, thats proven - but its like there has been too much pressure built up around them losing now that its almost a kind of mental block for them... the UK media doesnt help the situation either really - but hey, you cant praise them either when they ARE losing... just wonder how they got into this cycle? One thing is for sure, that coach is not at all up to the task of breaking that cycle.. you guys should go for Guus Hiddink - that guy can perform miracles with the most obsure of teams! just look what he did for the aussies - and "soccer" (as we call it) was a dirty word back then, now all the kids over there are playing it - cause he brought the love of the GAME back if you get what I mean - thats whats missing, that magic love of the game
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:10PMLOVE THE GAME!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:11PMTheirry Henry, you lost your mojo
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:13PMshe walks softly and she carries a big gun
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:14PMIm glad your're on here in the evening kantong.I was hpoing for a bit of an argument tonight but you totally disarmed me. Were you being serious in post 362.
From samuelbanks on Wed Aug 20 09:17PMactually samuel - thats a quote from george from seinfeld
but surely at one point in my life I was very easily able to identify with that - I was certainly wrong in getting married so young!
Ive fully embraced positivity now though, as I think that seriously - positivity attracts positivity - you smile and the whole world smiles with you .... or at least, if the world is laughig at you, well kick it in the nuts and smile like a psychopath ;) you know?From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:21PMim not up for an argument tonight for some reason - you think I would be watching France play likE this...
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:23PM
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