Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Stop press: John Terry England captain

Wed Aug 20 08:57AM

Early Doors complained yesterday about the lack of surprises in modern football, and almost immediately it was rewarded with one: John Terry named England captain.

Of course, it wasn't actually news, as Early Doors faintly remembers something similar happening a couple of years ago.

But some people thought Terry's leadership technique of "shout loudly and cry if things go wrong" was a bit too, well, English for Capello.

Instead it was thought Don Fabio would prefer the more cultured Rio Ferdinand and his sophisticated "shout loudly and accidentally kick a woman if things go wrong" approach.

Such is the lack of decent news that it was considered something of a shock for the incumbent England captain to be named England captain again.

It seems modern football has boiled down to a core of about seven stories, which are constantly recycled according to a strict rotation policy on Sky Sports's 'breaking news' bar:

Barry wants Liverpool move
Barton pleads guilty to FA/criminal charge
Cristiano Ronaldo to leave Manchester United
Shady foreign owner "totally committed" to club
Cristiano Ronaldo to stay at Manchester United
Smug git Kenyon targets world domination
Injury blow for Tottenham star
John Terry named England captain

Capello said Terry got the nod over Ferdinand because of his "big personality", which is not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Geri Halliwell has got a big personality. Bradley Walsh has got a big personality. Ian Wright has got a big personality. But you wouldn't want to be trapped in a lift with any of them - much less play in the same football team.

In terms of personality size, Ferdinand didn't quite cut the mustard despite the buffoonery of Rio's World Cup wind-ups and that incident in the tunnel at Stamford Bridge.

It seems hard to believe, but Rio's mistake was in not larging it enough. A few more UK garage goal celebrations and petulant, spittle-filled rants at referees might just have tipped the balance in his favour.

Terry revealed that, in missing out on the captaincy, Ferdinand showed the streak of decency that might just have proved his downfall.

"The first thing Rio did was turn and shake my hand. That's a measure of the kind of guy he is," he said.

What would Terry have done had he missed out? Sat there and wept uncontrollably, pretty much by his own admission.

He said: "I would have been really disappointed if I hadn't got it, of course. Would I have been gutted? Of course."

"Would I have dissolved into attention-seeking tears and displayed a disproportionate level of 'grief'? Most definitely," Terry didn't add.

- - -

It is hoped that Capello's arrival will see England abandon the headless chicken approach in favour of a tactically astute style of play.

But there is more chance of Gary Glitter appearing on the next Children In Need single.

Joe Cole said on Monday: "I can guarantee we have 23 men who are ready to run through brick walls for each other."

Running through brick walls is all very well if you are on Gladiators, but Early Doors suspects a Croatian would probably just use the door.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Alex Curran reveals husband Steven Gerrard's obsession with cleanliness: "We didn't leave the pool on holiday because Steven doesn't like to get his feet dirty in the sand. The pool is cleaner. And if he reads a newspaper he has to wash his hands straight away." Which doesn't explain why he is so eager to chuck himself to the deck and get his knees all mucky.

OLYMPIAN OF THE DAY: An unnamed women's 10k open water swimmer who adopted the tactic of tugging back the feet of Britain's Cassie Patten. "I was quite annoyed, it's not sportsmanship when you pull on someone's feet," said a peeved Patten.

'DRUGS' STORY OF THE DAY: Table tennis chiefs fear players are inadvertently getting high as kites on the 'speed glue' they use on their bats. "You breathe it too much and you begin to lose your balance. It is a bit like a table tennis drug," said Peter Gardos, an Austrian coach.

FOREIGN VIEW: Following the trend of recycling old news stories, Italy's Corriere dello Sport claims that Andriy Shevchenko is going to sign for Milan, again. This time it will be on loan from the 'Chelse'.

TALKING POINT: Early Doors asked yesterday for the England stars of 2010, and you proferred the following suggestions for 'Next big crushing disappointment': Ashley Young, Jack Wilshere, Michael Johnson and Theo Walcott (again) and, er, Dean Windass.

Meanwhile aquapond1 jumps on the Gary Glitter joke bandwagon: "Arsene Wenger better keep a watchful eye over his squad. Nasri and Walcott especially might be tempted by the prospect of Sherbert Lemons."

Today - Where will you watch tonight's game? And if you're doing something more interesting, what is it?

COMING UP: Full coverage of England versus Czech Republic from 8pm, plus Norway v Republic of Ireland and Scotland v Northern Ireland.

Comments361 - 390 of 406
First
Previous
10
11
12
13
14
Next
Last

Yeah confidence has alot to do with it. But its weird. Most of England's first eleven play for the one of the big 4 in the premier.They always look as if they're holding something back when they put on an england shirt.
From samuelbanks on Wed Aug 20 09:24PM
Report abuse
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOAL!
thats more like it
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:24PM
Report abuse
not sure - i read steevy g's biography recently (i know I know - dont groan ;)) and he was saying that playing for england was the biggest thing really in his career in terms of pride and pleasure - and he made out that Rooney, Terry, etc had the same ideas
I think they put their heart into it, but dont gel well together as a team of "big 4 personalities" moreso - these guys are constantly told they are the best, or the pivot of their team; but when they play for england, the ego tasks are shared.... not easy for some of them. I think also they have made some terrible coaching appointments in the past few years - as i said, bring on Guus!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:28PM
Report abuse
im having trouble speaking in english cause im listening to the commentary in french funny how the brain works
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:33PM
Report abuse
Whats put you in a good mood kantong. It seems like the only time im ever in a good mood these days is when im drunk. It's a terrible state of affairs.
From samuelbanks on Wed Aug 20 09:34PM
Report abuse
Looks like Ashley Cole will be in for a roasting in the press in the morning and Terry might be lucky to get off with a minor Lynching O.G. after 22 mins !
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 09:34PM
Report abuse
in real life, Im in a good mood all the time! Every day is a happy day!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:36PM
Report abuse
how come you're so blue, samuel?
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:37PM
Report abuse
Who are france playing?
From samuelbanks on Wed Aug 20 09:39PM
Report abuse
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA thats hilarous artti - im not following it but thanks for the run down
france is looking better, benzema is doing well ; but the swedes have been unlucky too with a few missed opportunities - not good enough in my book! Tierry and Malouda are going to get a right spanking from me!
(mmmmmmmm spanking Theirry... )
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:39PM
Report abuse
sweden
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:39PM
Report abuse
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO another one
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT! ah que c'est jolie celle la! wooooooo
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:41PM
Report abuse
Theirry must have heard me! Nice assist!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:41PM
Report abuse
OMG - you should have seen that assist by Henry! that was the Thierry of old!
3-1 France! Yay!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:43PM
Report abuse
the french commentators are so excited there's lots of "oooh la la-ing" going on here
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:45PM
Report abuse
aaaah dammit - this is where the french always mess up - they allow too many scoring opportunities for free - penalty to sweden and the lead is cut back to 3-2
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:48PM
Report abuse
Kantong
Like George from seinfield, i've made too many mistakes. You only get one shot at life and i've managed to fcke mine up before im 25.
From samuelbanks on Wed Aug 20 09:49PM
Report abuse
there are a @#$% LOT of sons in the swedish team
Isaksson
Hansson
Andersson
Svensson
Nilsson
Wilhelmsson
and Larsson
all on the pitch! hahaha
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:51PM
Report abuse
Do you have something called TV U player kantong. is that where u get the footy on the internet?
From samuelbanks on Wed Aug 20 09:52PM
Report abuse
ENGLAND EQUALISE- JOE COLE. STAY TUNED TO ED FOR KANTONG AND SAMUEL'S SCORE UPDATES
From samuelbanks on Wed Aug 20 09:53PM
Report abuse
its never too late samuel; trust me - you could never have fkud up that bad that you cant dust yourself off, get back in the riding seat and go forward.. thats what life is about in the end, its about learning to get back up and have a go again - no matter what cràp is thrown your way
25 is still very young; think of life as credits in a computer game down at the local milkbar - you've got a certain amount of credits in the game already, so you may as well make the most of them, no point walking away and wasting them ;) and its always heartening too to think that no matter how badly you fùcked up your life by the age of 25, britney spears has done a lot worse!
is it the studies getting you down? if so - hold on tight - will be over soon and you wont believe how much your life changes afterwards ;)
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:56PM
Report abuse
And an ex Hammer saves complete embarrassment for England
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 09:58PM
Report abuse
interesting... joe cole hey ...
its all over for France - 3-2 - not too bad, bit sloppy, too many free opportunties given to the swedes, but some nice footwork by henry resulting in an impressive goal by Govou in the end there was really worth watching for!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 09:58PM
Report abuse
I do have TVU! I use that, and I use sometimes sopcast or tv ants - and sometimes i catch games streaming on justin.tv - i get the links sent to me before all the games from a special service that I have subscribed to (pay) and then I can watch pretty much any game for free ;) not bad!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 10:00PM
Report abuse
I have Zattoo TV but it did not have any footie on so I relied on Yahoo sports
You are looking very authoritarian KS, poor Richard losing 3-2 to les bleus !
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 10:10PM
Report abuse
Oh yeah - I'll have to leave a message for him on Facebook!
you shoud download tvu - its pretty good usually
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 10:11PM
Report abuse
seriously guys - check this goal out by thierry/govou
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=JjfXYz_
1REI
geez - they're quick at posting on youtube! nice one
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 10:13PM
Report abuse
Kantong
I don't really want to say too much here. it'll only give the samuel dissers ammo to fire at me. If you want i could chat to you via email. Thanks for what you said by the way.
From samuelbanks on Wed Aug 20 10:13PM
Report abuse
Should be loads of banter about how @#$% A. Cole is how good J. Cole is and what a waste of space David 'now that I have my hundred caps I'll retire to the kind of luxury not even Pork Pie Lampard Can dream of' Beckham is
From arttidesco on Wed Aug 20 10:13PM
Report abuse
no worries samuel drop me a line if you want anytime - send me a message in facebook with your addy if you want - i dont post mine on here cause it means I dont get spammed by the haters
beckham is funny - in a burp/fart joke kind of way: the first time you laugh, the second time you dont, the third time you just wanna smack him in the face and put your knee in his gônads! he gets tiresome very quickly
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 10:17PM
Report abuse