Stop press: John Terry England captain
Wed Aug 20 08:57AM
Early Doors complained yesterday about the lack of surprises in modern football, and almost immediately it was rewarded with one: John Terry named England captain.
Of course, it wasn't actually news, as Early Doors faintly remembers something similar happening a couple of years ago.
But some people thought Terry's leadership technique of "shout loudly and cry if things go wrong" was a bit too, well, English for Capello.
Instead it was thought Don Fabio would prefer the more cultured Rio Ferdinand and his sophisticated "shout loudly and accidentally kick a woman if things go wrong" approach.
Such is the lack of decent news that it was considered something of a shock for the incumbent England captain to be named England captain again.
It seems modern football has boiled down to a core of about seven stories, which are constantly recycled according to a strict rotation policy on Sky Sports's 'breaking news' bar:
Barry wants Liverpool move
Barton pleads guilty to FA/criminal charge
Cristiano Ronaldo to leave Manchester United
Shady foreign owner "totally committed" to club
Cristiano Ronaldo to stay at Manchester United
Smug git Kenyon targets world domination
Injury blow for Tottenham star
John Terry named England captain
Capello said Terry got the nod over Ferdinand because of his "big personality", which is not exactly a ringing endorsement.
Geri Halliwell has got a big personality. Bradley Walsh has got a big personality. Ian Wright has got a big personality. But you wouldn't want to be trapped in a lift with any of them - much less play in the same football team.
In terms of personality size, Ferdinand didn't quite cut the mustard despite the buffoonery of Rio's World Cup wind-ups and that incident in the tunnel at Stamford Bridge.
It seems hard to believe, but Rio's mistake was in not larging it enough. A few more UK garage goal celebrations and petulant, spittle-filled rants at referees might just have tipped the balance in his favour.
Terry revealed that, in missing out on the captaincy, Ferdinand showed the streak of decency that might just have proved his downfall.
"The first thing Rio did was turn and shake my hand. That's a measure of the kind of guy he is," he said.
What would Terry have done had he missed out? Sat there and wept uncontrollably, pretty much by his own admission.
He said: "I would have been really disappointed if I hadn't got it, of course. Would I have been gutted? Of course."
"Would I have dissolved into attention-seeking tears and displayed a disproportionate level of 'grief'? Most definitely," Terry didn't add.
- - -
It is hoped that Capello's arrival will see England abandon the headless chicken approach in favour of a tactically astute style of play.
But there is more chance of Gary Glitter appearing on the next Children In Need single.
Joe Cole said on Monday: "I can guarantee we have 23 men who are ready to run through brick walls for each other."
Running through brick walls is all very well if you are on Gladiators, but Early Doors suspects a Croatian would probably just use the door.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: Alex Curran reveals husband Steven Gerrard's obsession with cleanliness: "We didn't leave the pool on holiday because Steven doesn't like to get his feet dirty in the sand. The pool is cleaner. And if he reads a newspaper he has to wash his hands straight away." Which doesn't explain why he is so eager to chuck himself to the deck and get his knees all mucky.
OLYMPIAN OF THE DAY: An unnamed women's 10k open water swimmer who adopted the tactic of tugging back the feet of Britain's Cassie Patten. "I was quite annoyed, it's not sportsmanship when you pull on someone's feet," said a peeved Patten.
'DRUGS' STORY OF THE DAY: Table tennis chiefs fear players are inadvertently getting high as kites on the 'speed glue' they use on their bats. "You breathe it too much and you begin to lose your balance. It is a bit like a table tennis drug," said Peter Gardos, an Austrian coach.
FOREIGN VIEW: Following the trend of recycling old news stories, Italy's Corriere dello Sport claims that Andriy Shevchenko is going to sign for Milan, again. This time it will be on loan from the 'Chelse'.
TALKING POINT: Early Doors asked yesterday for the England stars of 2010, and you proferred the following suggestions for 'Next big crushing disappointment': Ashley Young, Jack Wilshere, Michael Johnson and Theo Walcott (again) and, er, Dean Windass.
Meanwhile aquapond1 jumps on the Gary Glitter joke bandwagon: "Arsene Wenger better keep a watchful eye over his squad. Nasri and Walcott especially might be tempted by the prospect of Sherbert Lemons."
Today - Where will you watch tonight's game? And if you're doing something more interesting, what is it?
COMING UP: Full coverage of England versus Czech Republic from 8pm, plus Norway v Republic of Ireland and Scotland v Northern Ireland.
KW - Like myself, I doubt Stevie G buys or even reads The Sun......."Justice for the 96"
From kevin1985kane on Wed Aug 20 12:37PMI went back and looked at yesterday's posting's, there was jude issueing a few sucks, good to see despite the sun sea sand and beer he hasn't forgotten us and the bar roxy sounds like something I should have.
I guess you're right sam, i doubt they wrap fish n chips in the telegraph or observer, sporting life maybe
where's astoboy going to feature sam, shall we have a guessing game?
From roxydgurl on Wed Aug 20 12:39PMkevin: hence the irony my friend
roxydgurl - you have changed your avatar again - it looks like your avatar is just as suprised as everyone else at Terry being named captain ;) cute
it was nice of jude to come by - think he will have words with ben when he gets back im sure - another fight to the duel no doubt ;)as for astroboy - Im figuring its a bit wrong to put him on my butt... (my bf will start calling him arse-stroboy) i already have one on my ankle... not too keen on the upper arms (cuts out wearing my little black strapless number to work do's) .... so... I'm thinking the tummy!
I'm not having kids anyways, which would be the only issue with that - your tummy stretches and then shrinks and suddenly astroboy would look more like a regurgitated pack of smarties on your skin - all distorted...
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 12:46PMClaire: have you ever read any of RA Salvatore's books?
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 12:47PMED, ED, ED…. I know my comment will most likely be ignored, because you don’t read past the first 100 posts (or do you?)….
Anyway, I will start with a quote from…. you, ED:
“As is probably painfully obvious, Doors doesn't get out that much, preferring to spend most evenings crying itself to sleep” (which is strikingly similar to what I do)…
so why do you have something against John Terry? He is not the first football player to cry after loosing a game and most probably won’t be the last one either. Moreover, I bet that there were a lot of Chelsea fans that cried along with him. And he didn’t cry for something insignificant. He cried because he lost the UEFA Champions League Final. I bet that the people who make fun of him for what he did, cried a lot more for a lot less…
On the other hand, not everybody has the possibility to go and cry on a big pile of money like John Terry
From doru03hast on Wed Aug 20 01:00PMEngland performances have nothing to do with the managers, but with the fact that the 20 odd players available are completely useless. Every one of them promises us new beginning new tactics, one even promised us 'penetration'. Then they all go and re-call David Beckham and David James, and they play Lampard and Gerrard in the middle. And they disappoint. AGAIN. I'll still be glued to the box this evening though, hoping this time around its different.
From manutd_mainactor on Wed Aug 20 01:01PMboy was i pleased to see jude here last night although i've only just seen his postings
I picked the special and i'm blowing kisses so it seems, so i'll stick with that for a while
I cant picture astroboy, cant say we should help choose you spot for it
either, but your belly sounds fine bar the stretch marks you dont plan on having, maybe just poking out of the front of your bikini bottom etc would be my chouce
I hoe we get more surf's up banter tonight, i'll be here til late checking for himFrom roxydgurl on Wed Aug 20 01:06PMI sure didnt cry over Terry's "slip" - its kept me laughing for a while now
I have one thing to say to Terry - "HARDEN UP PRINCESS"
And if he sitting on such a big pile of money, why the heck is he crying in the first place?
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 01:06PMCisse is joining Blunderland on a season-long loan..... Keane has a terrible eye in the transfer market!
From kevin1985kane on Wed Aug 20 01:07PMBecause, despite popular belief, money does not bring happiness. There is a saying:
“With money you can buy a bed to sleep on, but you can’t buy your sleep” :0
From doru03hast on Wed Aug 20 01:13PMjude is a sweet guy roxy, not at all slimey or sleezy and he's funny - im sure he'll love to have a little kiss blown from you at the end of the day, we'll then get news reports from Spain about some mad spaceman running up and down the beach yelling out "ROXY GURL IS HOT!" as he wont be able to contain himself, I'm sure!
That was the idea - poking out over the top of the bikini - something a bit nicer than a gouly goblin or glyph or something, that was my original choice but it just wont go with the turqoise bikini me thinks ;)
The reason why I chose astroboy is cause it makes me smile every time - a bit like fairy floss and fair day / festivals with rides... astroboy is GREAT - my god I was so obsessed with that manga when I was a kid! He is a little robot boy with red socks that flies (cause flames come out of his socks of course) and who saves the world all the time! cant get better than ASTROBOYFrom kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 01:14PMkevin: Cissé man of class ... er... I mean, glass
but he has a fine tattoo on his back / bum still
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 01:17PMdoru: not bad - reminds me of another one
"money wont stop you from crumbling under pressure"
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 01:18PMi was thinking of the jetsons, haven't checked out manga, i'm delinquent that area. I think you should do it as it makes you so happy
Have you seen the futurama film "bender's big score"? fry found a tat of bender on his @#$% and it all went from there, pity bender isn't colorful just silver.
i'm quietly happy that jude posts that stuff about me, sure makes my day i can tell you, just wish i'd hear some good news from the lane, all the transfer targets are just paper talk, sick of it reallyFrom roxydgurl on Wed Aug 20 01:24PM#132 - If money can buy you a bed to sleep on, why can't it also buy you a s**tload of sleeping pills?
Liked it today, ED. "shout loudly and accidentally kick a woman if things go wrong" - Class. Funniest thing you've said in a long time.
From kevmun82 on Wed Aug 20 01:34PMWell now KW, Salvatore is name I haven't heard in a long time?
From freeandrewdickson on Wed Aug 20 01:42PM#137 - money can buy sleeping pills, but just look at movie stars who use them and end up being really depressed… I’m not saying that this is a rule (if you are rich you are depressed), just that you are not actually happy (in the real sense of the word) if you need to use drugs to feel good about yourself. Or maybe I am just saying this to make myself feel better, because I don’t have a lot of money
From doru03hast on Wed Aug 20 01:53PMtrue true - the transfer talk round spurs this season has been rife, enough to do any supporters head in for sure... I havent seen the Futurama film actually, is it good?
freeandrew: YAY! Finally someone familiar with the old Salvatore! Whos your man then? Artemis, Drizz't or perhaps Jaraxle? Im trying to read the promise of the witch king right now under my computer desk at work...
I wanted a tattoo of Melikki unicorn for a while!From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 01:56PMdoru: doesnt matter, as long as you have a lot of drugs
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 01:57PMand if you don't?
From doru03hast on Wed Aug 20 02:00PMYeah i know doru03hast, i was just taking the P and trying to be funny and stuff. Didn't work, clearly.
KW the Futurama films are decent. Bender's Big Score is v.funny and The Beast With A Billion Backs is not quite as good but still up there. Next one's out fairly soon i think!
From kevmun82 on Wed Aug 20 02:02PMWell Drizz't of course! But I haven't read any of his books for at least 10 years. I had to study Eng Lit for a while and that changed my reading habits beyond repair. He is a great story teller, I can't help but think that if he wrote a different genre he would gain quite a lot of recognition.
From freeandrewdickson on Wed Aug 20 02:08PMthats ok doru, I do
morning /arvo early_doors
andrew: I think Salvatore is one of the best writers I have ever read, I love all his characters - the dark elf and I go way back! I'm re-reading everything right now... He was my favorite for a long time, but now im loving Jaraxle for some reason... always the opportunist ;)
I just love how salvatore can transfer the every day questions we all face (racism, morality, good vs evil, equality, etc) over into such compelling stories... I love his work! It gets me more excited than a frog in a blender...
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 02:12PMI wouldn't be that excited if I was a frog in a blender.
From kevmun82 on Wed Aug 20 02:15PMhow about as excited as a chinaman in an olympic ceremony...?
yeah that doesnt work either
hmmmm...how about - more excited than Ronaldo in a tanning studio?
or more excited than Terry in the bathtub?
Or even - more excited than FatlumpoLard in a shop filled with donuts!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 02:19PMim here early_doors - are you the captain of the love boat?
What are your tatts Early_Doors?
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 02:21PMIm going to have to check the whole futurama films out then kevmun - i love your sense of humour; so if you give it the thumbs up, im there
sadly I miss out on all the good stuff over here in France.... futurama is just not the same dubbed in French - I wont even start on how Homer and Marge sound in the Simpsons in French... argh!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 02:22PMHAHAHAHAHA now thats what I would call over excited
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 02:23PMSam: Sorry was on lunch... no never read any of Salvatore's books, do you recommend any?
From claire881 on Wed Aug 20 02:27PMClaire: no worries mate - hope you had a nice lunch
OOOOOOH never read Salvatore? I thought you might have actually, of everyone on here - (andrew suprised me though)! Wow - well you will thank me - you should start with his first ones and then work your way along - they all follow a similar series / stream of characters - you and I have so much in common already taste wise, I'm sure you will love it! The first book is called "the Crystal Shard" I believe... trust me, you will get very attached to the dark elf drizzt ;)
early_doors: I think that tattoos are like a book of your life, and nothing tells a story better than a pic as they say.. I think that sounds all very nice - I like the idea of the pic's of eve ;) cute juxtoposition of the two, one ignoring the apple, the other biting into it with lustful disdain!
the guardian angels is cute too... hope your family isnt too big!
symbolism is what its all about with tatts in the end, who wants to get some rubbish tattoed on their arse that will mean nothing to them in two years time? ;) my brother did that with some ex girlfriends name, and now he has to keep up a lie with his current girlfriend that "Tina" was the name of a dog he once used to have... that he loved very much. yeah right!
From kantong_wokster on Wed Aug 20 02:34PM
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