Business as usual
Thu Aug 21 08:59AM
"I'm happy with the draw because of the reaction from the team in the last minute was good. Only one thing I didn't like - when the Czechs had counter-attacks."
While Fabio Capello declared himself happy with all aspects but one of England's 2-2 draw against the Czech Republic, this morning's papers respectfully beg to differ.
"Wasters" (Sun)
"It's not Fab yet" (Star)
"Same old England" (Independent)
"Anyone for cycling?" (Mirror)
"No football gold as Barwick exits with England back in the bronze age" (Times)
"England in disarray" (Telegraph)
"Capello draws cold comfort as Cole rescues dreary England" (Guardian)
The mid-market Mail and Express were so disgusted by the 'efforts' of a foreign-led England side that they deemed them unworthy of back page coverage.
Instead they focused on the ousting of the very British, very bumbling and very jobless Brian Barwick who, it seems, was sacked in between half-time vol-au-vents.
Even Barwick's departure smacked of rank incompetence. The FA intended to keep it a secret but, such was the level of speculation, they informed staff via text message while on the way back from the toilets for the start of the second half.
The Barwick announcement and news of Mikael Silvestre's move to Arsenal were the undoubted highlights of the evening - Early Doors would genuinely have been better off watching the game on Ceefax.
It is nice to get back to some good old English incompetence after the unfamiliarity of so much Olympic excellence.
This is how things are meant to work - complete disarray, on and off the pitch. For all the talk of next month's World Cup qualifier away to Croatia, Early Doors wouldn't be surprised if England come unstuck four days earlier against Andorra.
Worst of the bunch were two men who have already been chopped more times than the French royal family: Davids James and Beckham.
James is, quite simply, a joke. ED doesn't care how good is he for Portsmouth, how many broadsheet columns he writes or what art galleries he visits. He cannot play for England again. He just can't.
As for Beckham, there would have been more movement on the right wing if Capello had picked Stanley Matthews.
Beckham is the football equivalent of one of those bumpers in pinball. He just stands there, motionless, pinging off the ball whenever it comes his way with pace but little or no precision.
The pair took a star turn in the night's most richly comic moment. Beckham stopped playing, thinking he had played his man offside.
Sadly for him, Vaclav Sverkos came racing through from an onside position and pegged it down the left flank where he must have been surprised to encounter a deranged James charging wildly out of his box.
Sverkos nipped past and, with ineptitude almost equal to England's, scuffed his shot miles wide. Sensational. Only Capello knows how he stopped his head from exploding.
The tabloids have not yet superimposed Capello's face onto a vegetable, but he is already being compared to his witless predecessor Steve McClaren.
"Wally without a brolly" was the Sun's somewhat uninspired verdict. But Early Doors thinks the cunning Italian is doing it on purpose.
ED is prepared to ignore the fact that, wherever he goes, Capello succeeds only because he gets to buy expensive, world-class players like Gabriel Batistuta, Fabio Cannavaro and Ruud van Nistelrooy.
At Milan, Capello inherited Marco van Basten. At England, he doesn't even have Raymond van Barneveld.
Yet, despite evidence to the contrary, ED clings onto the faint hope that the Italian is a football genius deliberately crushing his players' spirit.
It is like a military-style 'beasting', in which punishment and humiliation is heaped upon new recruits to whip them into shape.
Capello is intentionally making his players perform dreadfully to make them realise what a bunch of snivelling little wretches they truly are.
Then, when he has banished the arrogance and self-regard, he will take his broken squad and mould them in his own image.
It is a tenuous theory, Early Doors admits, but it will do until England return from Zagreb after the 3-0 defeat they so richly deserve.
- - -
QUOTES OF THE DAY: Harry Redknapp: "We have one of the finest midfielders in Steven Gerrard, he plays for Liverpool and he is like Roy of the Rovers. He shoots, he scores, he tackles. He is not a left midfielder. It is unbelievable. He has to be in the centre. We are killing Gerrard."
Fabio Capello: "I'm sorry for Mr Redknapp, because [Gerrard] didn't play on the left. Sorry. You'll have to ask him. He didn't play left. The movement, he went to the left and to the middle. He never played on the left."
OLYMPIAN OF THE DAY: British boxer Billy-Joe Saunders, who has returned home to a suspension from the ABA following an allegation of lewd behaviour on a pre-Games training camp in France.
The Daily Mail reports: "A camcorder film allegedly shows Saunders confronting a French woman in a sexually explicit and abusive manner while staying in a hotel with the British team." Charming.
TALKING POINT: raulpeeves spent yesterday evening watching Big Brother live on the grounds that: "There is way more chance of an Englishman scoring in there."
Today - Who to blame for England's woes? And any reaction on the other home nations games? Early Doors didn't see them...
Hi Sam, Claire, Arti, Jack etc
I didn't bother with the game, whats the point it's friendly and no-one commits to it enough, did anyone break into a sweat? i broke back into being a blonde is about it and probably more effort than was on show last night
From roxydgurl on Thu Aug 21 09:52AMIt was a friendly,a kick about for the boys and designed to give cappello some idea of who can do what....maybe the lazy un coordinated lampard, gerrard, terry and the atrocious ashley cole should fall on thier swords sooner rather than later..blame cappello? how stupid is that? hes not the problem...if the media stop bigging-up the dross and notice our new hungry breed of younger players we might just get English football should be live on the BBC after all, we pay enough to be able to see our national team in our national sport on the national tv station we pay for....shame on them all!
From stuartxland on Thu Aug 21 09:52AMWill Don Fab quit before or after Kevin Keegan ?
From arttidesco on Thu Aug 21 09:52AMWhy did half the England team get subbed and none of he Czechs is there a fitness issue hear, most lads in the local park league seem to manage a full 90 (Ninety) minuets what is the story here ?
Too many pork pies for tea ?
From arttidesco on Thu Aug 21 09:56AMThe blond on the beach look is very seasonal Roxy any news from Bar Roxy last night ?
I wonder if Mr Smurf has become a Spain supporter ?
Manchester United Sucks! etc
From arttidesco on Thu Aug 21 09:59AMLOL England need to stop picking the so called big names and pick players that are actually playing well..
Doesnt matter who the manager is they still pick the same players and Captain its crazy, England will never win anything again until they change there policy about who plays get out the dead weight and start playing the people who deserve to play.Come on IRELAND anyway
From martystorey on Thu Aug 21 09:59AMartti: maybe someone should tell them to just "RUN AWAY - RUN AWAY!"
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 21 10:01AMI want Fab to go back to Roma or Milan and make them win Serie A again!
From claire881 on Thu Aug 21 10:01AMExactly what I was thinking Kantong Sam, in the process England might actually score a few goals by mistake
From arttidesco on Thu Aug 21 10:04AMMorning All, Im actually quite happy. To play quite badly and pick up a 2-2 draw against the czechs isn't too bad. England still have players like agbonlahor, richards and ash young to come into the team. Its never as bad as the media make it out to be, its also never as good as the media make it out to be. As an england fan ive learnt that the hard way.
From jay8my on Thu Aug 21 10:04AMI bet Cappello wishes he could get his mits on the Holy Grenade of Antioch
From arttidesco on Thu Aug 21 10:05AMclaire: miller = traffic cone...good one.
From jay8my on Thu Aug 21 10:05AMFor England read 'The Black Knight'
From arttidesco on Thu Aug 21 10:05AMArt - seriously!!! what are u on about???
From jay8my on Thu Aug 21 10:06AMmorning jay, roxy, claire
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 21 10:06AMSilvester to Arsenal is the catalyst for Henrys move to United. Arsenal will now drop their blocking clause allowing Henry to join another premiership club (united).
Va va voom is back and its coming to a theatre of dreams near you in Manchester.
From jsmooth1974 on Thu Aug 21 10:07AMkeep dreaming jsmooth - Henry would never go to United! hahaha
MAN UNITED SUCK!
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 21 10:08AMhi Inspector downunder, loving the hat.
From jay8my on Thu Aug 21 10:09AMWhy thank you Jay! morning Sam, Roxy!
From claire881 on Thu Aug 21 10:11AMref 'miller = traffic cone...good one'.not as impressive as Englands list of traffic cones D.James, A.Cole, Fat Frankie, Golden Squares and Wallowing Wayne
Is the traffic cone helpline still going ?
From arttidesco on Thu Aug 21 10:11AMJack has an account on a billionaire and celebrity online club named *************(MillMatch)**************. It seems that he has been certified billionaire there. WOW , rich man like him may receive lots of contacts from beautiful gals.
From levona217 on Thu Aug 21 10:13AMlove the cop outfit sam, kiss-o-gram?
From roxydgurl on Thu Aug 21 10:13AMThierry Henry, Thierry Henry, Thierry Henry, Thierry Henry.
Hes gonna sign. The 14 jersey has been left free for him. Go to the united website and check the squad numbers.
If winning the Premiership and the Champions league means you suck then you must be right. But what does that make your team you losers.
From jsmooth1974 on Thu Aug 21 10:17AMthank you very muchly
I now walk softly, but I carry a bloody big gun ;)rox: I once organised a cop stripper for one of my girlfriend's 18th - funniest night ever! gotta try it one day...
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 21 10:17AMjsmooth1974 = dreamer!!! Cant blame a guy for wanting a player in his team, that has torn them apart for years.
From jay8my on Thu Aug 21 10:20AMfirst of all, i didnt see the ireland match but i heard we played very well in the first half! it looks like our confidence is slowly but surely rebuilding, so it looks like we'll give this qualifying campaign a real lash which is very good. GO ON TRAP AND THE BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!
It appears that the boys in green got the right italian to manage us. Give Fabio time though, its still early days.
However, what he has to do is ditch the egos and the people who have been ever present for years. If Englands team werent doing it at euro 2004 they definitely arent gonna do it 60 years and 30 odd years of age later. Bentley is ready to shine, so are ashley young and id say gabby agbonlahor is gonna do enough this season to make a breakthrough. Every other country knows when time is up for the established stars, surely its a case of a)Your big players finally pulling their finger out, or b) Let youth and determination to succeed have a chance!
From dustbrother101 on Thu Aug 21 10:24AMRef For England read Black Knight adults see :-
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2eMkth8FWno&NR=1Kids see :-
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=6QxaawOwUS8&fe
ature=related
btw KS I have not seen this HD lego version before you might enjoy it againThe Holy Hand Grenade and Rabbit ref's are all to be see there to
That is what I am on about
From arttidesco on Thu Aug 21 10:26AMJames Sucks,
Lampard Sucks,
Terry Sucks,
A Cole Sucks,
J Cole Sucks,
Ferninand Sucks,
Rooney Sucks,
Beckham Sucks.ENGLAND SUCKS!!!
From kevin1985kane on Thu Aug 21 10:26AMSorry I didnt know you guys were hanging out of each other. My mistake.
United forever!!!!!!!!!!
From jsmooth1974 on Thu Aug 21 10:27AMwe can't use henry.. he already played in europe so he is useless. a waste of 20 mill.
From akasheh on Thu Aug 21 10:27AM
Comment on this article
Please sign in to add your comments.
Early Doors – Your morning briefing
Sport Newsletter
Catch up with all the latest news
Sign up to our free daily newsletter to recieve the latest news straight to your inbox. Make sure you don’t miss a thing.
Sign up now
This site is Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! and Eurosport. All rights reserved.
- Terms of Service
- Updated Privacy Policy
- Copyright/IP Policy
- Remarks and Suggestions
- Corporate info
- Jobs at Eurosport
Notice: We collect personal information on this site. To learn more about how we use your information, see our Privacy Policy.