Business as usual
Thu Aug 21 08:59AM
"I'm happy with the draw because of the reaction from the team in the last minute was good. Only one thing I didn't like - when the Czechs had counter-attacks."
While Fabio Capello declared himself happy with all aspects but one of England's 2-2 draw against the Czech Republic, this morning's papers respectfully beg to differ.
"Wasters" (Sun)
"It's not Fab yet" (Star)
"Same old England" (Independent)
"Anyone for cycling?" (Mirror)
"No football gold as Barwick exits with England back in the bronze age" (Times)
"England in disarray" (Telegraph)
"Capello draws cold comfort as Cole rescues dreary England" (Guardian)
The mid-market Mail and Express were so disgusted by the 'efforts' of a foreign-led England side that they deemed them unworthy of back page coverage.
Instead they focused on the ousting of the very British, very bumbling and very jobless Brian Barwick who, it seems, was sacked in between half-time vol-au-vents.
Even Barwick's departure smacked of rank incompetence. The FA intended to keep it a secret but, such was the level of speculation, they informed staff via text message while on the way back from the toilets for the start of the second half.
The Barwick announcement and news of Mikael Silvestre's move to Arsenal were the undoubted highlights of the evening - Early Doors would genuinely have been better off watching the game on Ceefax.
It is nice to get back to some good old English incompetence after the unfamiliarity of so much Olympic excellence.
This is how things are meant to work - complete disarray, on and off the pitch. For all the talk of next month's World Cup qualifier away to Croatia, Early Doors wouldn't be surprised if England come unstuck four days earlier against Andorra.
Worst of the bunch were two men who have already been chopped more times than the French royal family: Davids James and Beckham.
James is, quite simply, a joke. ED doesn't care how good is he for Portsmouth, how many broadsheet columns he writes or what art galleries he visits. He cannot play for England again. He just can't.
As for Beckham, there would have been more movement on the right wing if Capello had picked Stanley Matthews.
Beckham is the football equivalent of one of those bumpers in pinball. He just stands there, motionless, pinging off the ball whenever it comes his way with pace but little or no precision.
The pair took a star turn in the night's most richly comic moment. Beckham stopped playing, thinking he had played his man offside.
Sadly for him, Vaclav Sverkos came racing through from an onside position and pegged it down the left flank where he must have been surprised to encounter a deranged James charging wildly out of his box.
Sverkos nipped past and, with ineptitude almost equal to England's, scuffed his shot miles wide. Sensational. Only Capello knows how he stopped his head from exploding.
The tabloids have not yet superimposed Capello's face onto a vegetable, but he is already being compared to his witless predecessor Steve McClaren.
"Wally without a brolly" was the Sun's somewhat uninspired verdict. But Early Doors thinks the cunning Italian is doing it on purpose.
ED is prepared to ignore the fact that, wherever he goes, Capello succeeds only because he gets to buy expensive, world-class players like Gabriel Batistuta, Fabio Cannavaro and Ruud van Nistelrooy.
At Milan, Capello inherited Marco van Basten. At England, he doesn't even have Raymond van Barneveld.
Yet, despite evidence to the contrary, ED clings onto the faint hope that the Italian is a football genius deliberately crushing his players' spirit.
It is like a military-style 'beasting', in which punishment and humiliation is heaped upon new recruits to whip them into shape.
Capello is intentionally making his players perform dreadfully to make them realise what a bunch of snivelling little wretches they truly are.
Then, when he has banished the arrogance and self-regard, he will take his broken squad and mould them in his own image.
It is a tenuous theory, Early Doors admits, but it will do until England return from Zagreb after the 3-0 defeat they so richly deserve.
- - -
QUOTES OF THE DAY: Harry Redknapp: "We have one of the finest midfielders in Steven Gerrard, he plays for Liverpool and he is like Roy of the Rovers. He shoots, he scores, he tackles. He is not a left midfielder. It is unbelievable. He has to be in the centre. We are killing Gerrard."
Fabio Capello: "I'm sorry for Mr Redknapp, because [Gerrard] didn't play on the left. Sorry. You'll have to ask him. He didn't play left. The movement, he went to the left and to the middle. He never played on the left."
OLYMPIAN OF THE DAY: British boxer Billy-Joe Saunders, who has returned home to a suspension from the ABA following an allegation of lewd behaviour on a pre-Games training camp in France.
The Daily Mail reports: "A camcorder film allegedly shows Saunders confronting a French woman in a sexually explicit and abusive manner while staying in a hotel with the British team." Charming.
TALKING POINT: raulpeeves spent yesterday evening watching Big Brother live on the grounds that: "There is way more chance of an Englishman scoring in there."
Today - Who to blame for England's woes? And any reaction on the other home nations games? Early Doors didn't see them...
As a ManU fan having the unfortunate luck of being in a (yes Northern) office with an ignorant Chelsea supporter can I just say Michael Carrick is effin brilliant and anyone that slags him off knows nothing about the unseen 'clean up' work that he dutifully does without credit.. being of the flash-cash mind-set of Chelsea I'm not suprised he can't see this with his own one-eye. And in support of Jamie O - Henry and Berbatov to UNITED!! Whoop!
From kscottie81 on Thu Aug 21 11:47AM'Carry on Football' I like it
From arttidesco on Thu Aug 21 11:48AMHas anybody bet on England beating Andora yet ?
From arttidesco on Thu Aug 21 11:49AMI was actually thinking of having a punt on Andorra!
From claire881 on Thu Aug 21 11:50AMima_fat_tw - firstly you assume wrong - I am a gooner. Secondly the statement was made to emphasise a point rather than going to wikipedia and checking it. My point is wayne rooney is a fat overrated piece of shi*e who is more worried about what his fat pig faced wife is doing (or make that granny whores) than what he does for england. As per usual in england he was a promising youngster and then suddenly got ££millions and loadsa press coverage and his development halted a long time ago - just cos the fat @#$% runs around and lunges into a tackle now and then (which I may add he mainly fouls and gets booked for then proceeds to abuse refs)it doesnt mean he has heart or is world class. Agbonlahor has desire and wants it...and may i add 11 goals for villa over 11 less games is still pretty good bearing in mind he was also used on the wing. Listen mate the main point is the current england squad are overpaid, overrated and have let us down for too long now. NO manager can save us!!!
From joshabuuges on Thu Aug 21 11:50AMED - the Stanley Matthews gag was a bit innapropriate. I stood with thousands of others respectfully applauding as his coffin was paraded through Stoke. The man was a legend. Tut...
Blimey - talk about over sensitive!! Not as if ED was putting any negative criticism Mr Matthews way or talking ill of the dead... he was simply used as an example of a no-longer-alive footballer to illustrate a point in comic fashion.
From eriverpipe on Thu Aug 21 11:54AMCroatia - England 4:0 on September 10
From lespetar on Thu Aug 21 11:58AMbeing as how i'm not happy at losing top players to teams that are in the CL and the likely event of not qualifying due to best player sitting on another teams bench, I can only say that if teams like chelsea are slagged off for buying their way to the title then what is being paid to barcelona and spurs for henry and berbatov then not the same notes that chelski spend, potatoes maybe, man utd (sucks) are buying the title just as much as chelski or anyone else is, I wouldn't care a jot if spurs won it and everyone slagged them off for buying the title, how else is it done?
From roxydgurl on Thu Aug 21 11:58AMwhat are the positives from the game yesterday i wouldnt know.
maybe capello isnt thje answer
From milesandy73 on Thu Aug 21 11:59AMI am slowly moving over to the camp that sides with the opinion tha NO manager can cave England. Anyone else with that feeling?
From eliotot on Thu Aug 21 12:01PMThe Andorrans must be looking forwaard to their next game...
From eliotot on Thu Aug 21 12:02PMone positive - it proved beckham is passed it.
From martsssss on Thu Aug 21 12:02PMt
From martsssss on Thu Aug 21 12:03PMthe england national team is getting more rubbish just like early doors
From milesandy73 on Thu Aug 21 12:03PMyep see above.....bad times for English football which is devastating bearing in mind how strong the PL is.
From joshabuuges on Thu Aug 21 12:03PMYeah but did Hat really have to play Beckhan and Heskey to learn that fact? Bring on the second XI...!
From eliotot on Thu Aug 21 12:04PMLamps only started to play well when Gerrard had been subbed off and J.Cole replaced him giving us a Chelsea left flank with Terry, A.Cole, Lamps and J.Cole.
Have Gerrard playing where Rooney should have been (anyone else notice how rooney just followed the ball around the pitch?) and have a big target man in the mould of Ashton.
We can be more productive this way.
From blu3forever on Thu Aug 21 12:04PMNew Capello...same old HAT....hmmm..
From eliotot on Thu Aug 21 12:05PMgood point eliotot the money would better spent on a sports psychologist
From arttidesco on Thu Aug 21 12:08PMbig 'ellos to everyone in e.d. land, hope the week has been mostly downhill for everyone.
watched the england/czech yawner ~ ugh. rooney looked alive, no one looked very comfortable. lost in a lot of this seems to be how boring and conservative the czechs were for most of the match. a scuffer off ashley cole and a set piece that calamity james doesn't even budge for do not make for a command performance. i kept hearing how "technical" they were, but i didn't see a lot of adventurous spirit out there from either side. does dafoe have one setting?
canada v. jamaica qualifier was a heartbreaker, pat "nightmare" onstad's own goal to equalize for jamaica says everything you need to know about the state of football in canada. ugh. sven's mexico was pretty entertaining though, stuttgart's pavel pardo scored two beauties for the tri-color in three minutes for a comeback win. the u.s. game was highlighted by the revelation stadiums in guatemala do not really have what you would call "lights". the h.d. broadcast was so dark, when the u.s. scored to win, i couldn't really see what was happening. the low point was a straight red elbow to the face of derby county's eddie lewis by an angry defender. lewis' forehead was bleeding the moment he hit the ground, violent stuff.
From jcpotvin on Thu Aug 21 12:08PMOr better still a faith healer. I liked Hoddle, bring him back. He moulded a solid team!
From eliotot on Thu Aug 21 12:10PMeveryone knew capello was just beign nice to beckam,so thats no positive look.
n wtf is wenger doing buying silvestre instead of a midfielder or is silvester going to be converted.take nothing away from mikael he is good back up but not what we need.
wait a minuite he s french.
who s for arsenal becoming a french team in the nearest futureFrom milesandy73 on Thu Aug 21 12:11PMEliotot: How bout Marvin Andrews, you could get in touch with him, I hear he knows a good faith healer!
From claire881 on Thu Aug 21 12:16PMjcpotvin = worn out keyboard! You're back!!! WOOOOOOOOp WOop! we missed you mate!
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 21 12:17PMmilesandy73: NO THANKS! keep those Arseys on your side of the channel thank you very much! We finally got rid of arsene we dont want him back... will gladly take Nasri though...
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 21 12:19PMI have to agree with Artti I think - you guys would do well to invest more money into a reputable team psychologist - its almost as though they have some sort of "performance block" as soon as they pull on the colours for England... whats with that?
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 21 12:20PMEngland has 2 problems. First, they have no out-and-out strikers. Second, most of their midfield plays for rubbish teams whose coaches don't focus on technical abilities. Agbonlahor, Wright-Philips and Theo Walcott are the guys that ought to now be playing pivotal roles in the team - fresh blood with skill, pace , technical ability and above all, hunger.
Capello desperately needs to realise that his players are to a great extent the products of their club managers. He should therefore avoid midfielders and strikers from the likes of Liverpool and Chelsea (no offense intended to these clubs). Their coaching and playing styles simply don't suit international football. He needn't tinker with the defense (not too much anyway).
Once he has fast, hungry and skilled players, he then needs to mould the players' thinking and approach in such a way that they play slick, fast, accurate and gutsy football. He ought to pick up the phone and give Arsene Wenger a call. Seriously. Wenger is always ready to offer impartial, insightful and frank advice.
Capello can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results. He needs to go for broke now, England need to make a brave decision to break with the past. The team's far too top-heavy anyway - there are far too many leaders on the pitch. It's like trying to run a McDonald's with just managers in neck-ties.From maildude911 on Thu Aug 21 12:21PMno suck meister on here last night, but enough of the actual suckers were on the pitch last night, apparantly as I didn't bother watching it and didnt expect anything better than it ended up, i better check my lottery ticket
you should arrest the players for fraud, for last night's perfomance samFrom roxydgurl on Thu Aug 21 12:22PMarsene always a good coach n manager.
arsenal board please help us attract big names,please pay footy players wellFrom milesandy73 on Thu Aug 21 12:22PMnice analogy that Maccas one, maildude
are you related to the IT dude here at work by any chance?
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 21 12:22PM
Comment on this article
Please sign in to add your comments.
Early Doors – Your morning briefing
Sport Newsletter
Catch up with all the latest news
Sign up to our free daily newsletter to recieve the latest news straight to your inbox. Make sure you don’t miss a thing.
Sign up now
This site is Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! and Eurosport. All rights reserved.
- Terms of Service
- Updated Privacy Policy
- Copyright/IP Policy
- Remarks and Suggestions
- Corporate info
- Jobs at Eurosport
Notice: We collect personal information on this site. To learn more about how we use your information, see our Privacy Policy.