Floodlight robbery
Wed Apr 23 09:10AM
Rafael Benitez said earlier in the week that he couldn't believe Liverpool's class of 2005 had managed to win the Champions League.
After last night's showing, Early Doors can't believe one of the two sides playing at Anfield are still in with a shout of winning this year's edition.
We'd been promised a snooze-fest by every man and his dog in the build-up to the game and 90 minutes of normal time failed to deliver anything to the contrary.
True, Liverpool were by far the better side and deserved to win on the night, occasionally showing glimpses of what they're capable of, but what we were 'treated' to in the end was nothing more than a dog fight.
ITV commentator Clive Tyldesley could not have understated it better just before the break when he chirped: "It's a skirmish." Thanks for that, Sherlock.
Indeed the quality of football on show made Her In Doors's decision to forgo How to Look Good Naked in favour of the match seem all the more noble. In hindsight though, ED wouldn't have been all that bothered had it been forced to sit though an hour of Gok Wan - at least the man has some flair.
A comedic own-goal preceded by a horribly scrappy one, too many long balls and misplaced passes, and a defender as man-of-the-match - it rather tells its own story.
No surprise then that no little attention was given to the seating plan in the directors box, where Rick Parry noticeably kept his distance from his boss-from-hell Tom Hicks.
The American went against police advice to attend the match, although his efforts to appease fans - namely 'showing his colours' by joining in with a rendition of 'You'll Never Walk Alone' - will have done little to help.
Talking of terrace embarrassment, Liverpool fans very nearly walked away with egg on their faces after celebrating a little prematurely with a rousing rendition of the same anthem, three minutes into added time.
They could have been forgiven for thinking they had the game in the bag; they clearly hadn't counted on John Arne Riise. But credit to the fans, they piped up again immediately afterwards, proving at the very least they cannot be accused of only singing when they're winning.
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ED has a theory about Liverpool's last gasp lapse of concentration. Having kept Chelsea at bay for 90 minutes, what caused Alvaro Arbeloa and Javier Mascherano to allow Salomon Kalou get past them and Riise to head past his own keeper moments later?
What was playing on their minds? Premature thoughts of Moscow? A sensational European third final in four years? The amusing sideshow attracting attention in the directors box? Or perhaps, most likely, which establishment they were going to hit after the full-time whistle?
No, ED can reveal what they had really become preoccupied with - the thought that at that very moment a burglar may have been helping themselves to prized possessions from their luxury homes.
With the gang of thieves who target Liverpool players still at large and the match at Anfield attracting most Merseysiders' attentions last night, there was every chance of more break-in misery.
Certainly, the weekend incidents involving Frank Rijkaard and a clutch of Southampton and Burnley players proved we have not seen the last of such robberies and as long as there is silverware, cash or expensive dogs lying around the place (poor Andy Van der Meyde), rich footballers will continue to be prime targets for robbers.
Fortunately, as far as ED is aware, and God forbid if somebody was actually burgled, the only high profile robbery to take place last night was the one expertly performed on the pitch by Chelsea.
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FOREIGN VIEW: Nine players from the Malaysian champions are being investigated on suspicion of match fixing after a series of poor performances. The name of the team under scrutiny? Police.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I really love it here, it is really fantastic to be here. The club, the players, the fans are fantastic and also playing in the Premier League for me in my eyes is the greatest league to play in for football players. I don't think anything can be better than this I am really happy to be here, proud to be here. I cannot be more happy than I am now. Everybody is fantastic, the fans are fantastic, the club is fantastic and everything is working well for the team and myself." John Carew expresses his clear discontent with life at Villa Park.
GRIPE OF THE DAY: It would seem that ED's so-called "illegitimate sibling" Cow Corner wants to pick a fight with its older brother. Yesterday's edition of the cricket blog had an unashamed pop at ED's readers, suggesting they are in some way intellectually inferior to its own public school-educated lovers of leather and willow. Read it for yourselves on the cricket page. Such mad bovine bleatings have left ED with no choice but to hit back. Take it away jacquesbittar from yesterday's rather high-brow discussion on binary numbers: "There are 10 types of people, those who know binary and those who don't." Thank you, and goodnight.
TALKING POINT: Early Doors enjoyed a rather pleasant lamb bhuna whilst watching the game last night. What culinary delight will accompany your viewing of tonight's match on the box?
COMING UP: Already relegated Stirling Albion take on St Johnstone in Scottish League Division One in the pick of tonight's action. But unless you live within a 20-mile radius of the Forthbank Stadium, it could prove difficult to follow the match. In which case, you could always stay in and follow the second most enticing match of the day - Barcelona v Manchester United at the Nou Camp. We'll have all the build-up and latest team news from the Catalan capital throughout the day as well as full text commentary on the game from 19:45 BST on eurosport.yahoo.com.
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E-mail this story
IM this storyLast night's Champions league game was one of the funniest things
i've seen all week.
I know John Arne Riise is a good player,
i mean, anyone who can break another player's legs (Alan Smith),
simply by kicking the ball unto it,
deserves to be at a top club,
But as a neutral,
i found the whole last-minute-undo-all-our-90 minutes of hard work kerfuffle
very hilarious! At least now, Liverpool, the better side of the two,
will be forced to show us some entertainment on the second leg
of this frequently recurring fixture.At least ED provide a plausible explanation for the Scousers lack of concentration. The robbers were the 12th man of Chelsea yesterday.
From aquapond1 on Wed Apr 23 09:16AMwell - you do not seem yet to appreciate the strength of the astounding avril master plan, now entering phase 2, which is where he grabs great handfuls of raffa's 'pool luck in the ecl having shown disdain for the 'greatest league in the world' by tactically 'resting' key players in minor matches. watch this space for how he tames mu whilst still apearing to be clueless. i'll be having bacon egg and chips with old peculiar as the accompanying beverage, and will hope the game lives up to its billing as much as the nosh and beer will
From c.hawcroft on Wed Apr 23 09:24AMchelsea will be the champion of england and europe this year,by looking the problems we had during this year no other team can do the same included man utd.
From mbruce33uk on Wed Apr 23 09:28AMI didn't bother with the match last night and DID (under duress, you understand) watch HTLGN with Gok Wan. You didn't miss much.
"I don't like my body"
"You should like your body"
"Yeah, i still don't like it though"
Cue the change of clothes, American-style optimism and unflinching flattery being drilled in.
"Actually, i do like my body now. Thanks Gok!"
I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't EXACTLY the same EVERY BLOODY WEEK.Roll on one weeks time when the missus is away for a long weekend and all i have for company is a brand new PS3 and a copy of GTA IV.
From kevmun82 on Wed Apr 23 09:36AMAnyone else hear Clive Tyldesley say that Drogba was 'trying to pull off Skrtel'? I had slipped into a sort of drab football inspired coma at the time and these words dragged me back to life. Tuned out not to be as interesting as it promised and was just Drogba lumbering off-side for the upteenth time.
Speaking of the match. My opinion of Terry lowers every time I see him. Not only he is clearly poison off the field, he looks sluggish on it, needs Monty Don look alike Carvalho to cover for him and is rather reliant on his elbows. Anyone else think England should have another look at Anthony Gardener?
From chrisnewman950 on Wed Apr 23 09:37AM@ mbruce33uk:U really ought to try to sober up before u start ranting on ED. Bruv! with a name llike Bruce u really should try better in putting some sense into ur philosophy.
Tonight's match will be watch with my mates from Bishop Blaze (Warsaw branch;]) with glass of Zywiec or Tyskie (go Poland!). No Marriott for tonight - those blokes are asking for a $25 entry fee (don't blame them). So I'll probably get myself a Burger King delight 'fore the match (although it still pisses me off that these fellas don't wear gloves while making my sandwich - why can't everyone just learn from Subway?). Saving my cash for a bottle of champagne on Saturday though
From tosinsbox on Wed Apr 23 09:41AMAlthough my PS3 ain't spanking new I can't wait, fancy a online game Kevmun82 of GTA IV? Have you reserved your copy though caus there sold out near me?
Footy was boring so I don't want to talk about that.
From paulchappell82 on Wed Apr 23 09:42AMWhen tonights match is on I will be eating ...OUT !! Anything but watching the prosaic malevelonce that is Man Utd .I just dont get this "they play great football" they play football that grinds out wins with 7 players playing sideways passes ( come back Ray Wilkins )until Ronaldo stops looking at his reflection in his boots and runs about for a few minutes .
As for Rooney I dont think he,d get a game in any other team.What role can you actually trust him with ? He is plainly out of his depth as a lone striker , not nimble enough to play of a big man and not cultured enough to play off the front two , hes just a big , tough guy who bulldozes his way through and utd just throw him on and let him roam around coz he couldnt follow any specific tactical game plan anyway.( thats why Erickson loved him ). Tevez is keeping it all together , if he ever gets injured the two arss (r,s)will have to put their brain cell/s together and sort it out. Tonights game , "oh! was Ronaldo on the pitch? I thought he must be injured " and Rooney pocketed by any of Barcelona`s perspicacious , agile defenders who can worry about being burgled and still play 90 minutes .Best bit of last`s nights game ;the Pot noodle advert " I wish she could be more like pot noodle la , la, la, la, la etc "From gossagemartin on Wed Apr 23 09:45AMI find it amazing that ED failed to comment on Chelsea forcing a draw with only ten men. Yes! They succeeded despite having the Diddy Man up front spending most of his time either on his backside or else trying to qualify for the Ivory Coast's Olympic High Diving team. Alternatively, the poor chap may be scared of heights, in which case my sympathy to the great man. I can't help but feel that the physio team should have been applying the wet sponge to his derrier and the boot sponsors should consider placing their name on the soles of his footware. Still, it brought some interest to an otherwise boring 98 minutes or so! And of course Chelsea need to work out how to keep the poor man vertical - how about a few matches of Rugby Union? Anyone lying down gets a severe rucking out of the way, and if Welsh, gets a bollocking off Shaun Edwards for daring to be injured whilst the oppponents are attacking.
From michaeljones370 on Wed Apr 23 09:47AMa propos last night's match - I so so wish Chelsea plays the same way against The Red Devils on sat. Esp Drogba & Mak. BUT NO! My theory will once again be proven - Every team in the world plays their best game against Manchester United FC:/
From tosinsbox on Wed Apr 23 09:47AMWHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU SAY GOK WAN WAS A MAN ? thats like saying Riise has a right foot.
From gossagemartin on Wed Apr 23 09:51AM@ Goss: freedom of speech? Good for you. I "smell" envy in your voice, so I'll keep my mouth shut. Sounds like an Arsenal fan. Nevertheless, though Rooney is a lumbering, play making, talentless striker, we all know u'd all want him in ur team.
P.S. u believe Man Utd has no strike force without Tevez?? Check the stats. Watch the games. And then, maybe u could join the conversation.From tosinsbox on Wed Apr 23 09:55AMI pre-ordered the PS3 pack paulchappell82 as i've been looking to get one for ages, then found out the only way to guarantee a PS3 copy of the game on launch day would be to order the bundle so i thought i might as well! I was planning to hold off buying one till we see God of War 3 but GTA just looks like it cannot be missed! Might very well see you online though i've never taken a console online before.........
From kevmun82 on Wed Apr 23 09:55AMDrogba was miffed no one was mentioning him for the Tessa Sanderson huge arse award so he chose to show it from its best angle ; lying face down on the floor . Er well that,s in a like photographic type way not homoerotic or anything .
From gossagemartin on Wed Apr 23 09:56AMmbruce33uk
What do u mean by lookig at the problems Chelsea has had this year?Last year when MANU won the league,Scholes was out of it.Unnoticeably so because Fletcher and O'shea were up for the challenge.Van Nistelroy had left for Real,with Saha injured,leaving Rooney as the only available striker,except of course Ronaldo was up for new challenges.S stop whinning,the reason Chelsea has more than 11 players and have always fielded atleast 11 players in every game warrants no excuse.You players have to learn to rise up to challenges.Beside in last night dismal performance,who is it you wld have wanted for Chelsea who wasnt available as a result of injury?
Liverpool will beat u at the bridge,just as united will on saturdayFrom best7902 on Wed Apr 23 09:58AMDrogba was miffed no one was bigging him up for the Tessa Sanderson huge arse award so he showed his off from it`s best angle; lying face down. Errr thats a, like ,photographic type angle not in a man love way of course .
From gossagemartin on Wed Apr 23 10:00AMlol chrisnewman. I didn't here the commentary as the Serbs commented over it. Tonight some pasta and one of my counterparts has just brought me two bottles of home-made rakiya. Tomorrow will be even more brain-damaged than I am now.
My experience of cricket is that the average IQ of a village rises when its cricket team plays away.
From james_ssmith on Wed Apr 23 10:01AMTorres is playing in his first ever season in England and coming from Spain,but hell he keeps to his feet.Drogba is down every time the wind blows or he sees anyone close to him.Last night he even dropped once noticing some one was running cloese to him,only that someone this time around happened to be Frank Lampard,how embarrasing is that? But then again for Drogba to feel embarrased would be like Hillary clinton to stop telling lies. Old habits,they just never die,especially not the bad old habits
From best7902 on Wed Apr 23 10:06AMnot much of a tlaking point is it what were gonna eat whilst watching the match well ill be eating a pork kebab if u wanna know lol LIVERPOOL $ LYF we will do chelsea at the brige
From greglfc on Wed Apr 23 10:09AMI'm not sure it WAS Arne Riise that scored the own goal. Have any of YOU ever seen Prince Harry and Arne Riise in the same room? My partner made the observation that Prince Harry had been sent on "to have a go" - another torpor relieving moment! By the way - thank you Chelsea and Liverpool for making the case for wresting control of the remote from my girlfriend on matchdays a virtual imposibility from now on. Thank God she likes rugby!
From michaeljones370 on Wed Apr 23 10:10AMWhat's this incomprenesible stuff about PS3s and GTAs? Surely, grown men have better things to do when the trouble and strife is away than loll around playing games with electronic equipment in their laps? Football is to be played or watched (especially when there are great teams playing) and then argued about with one's friends. Home alone with a gadget is simply sad.
From james_ssmith on Wed Apr 23 10:16AMDrogba was a disgrace yestarday....Grant as usual, with his freaking starting line-up and out of his mind substitutions. Sadly, as a Chelsea fan I have to admit that Liverpool looked the better team, but Riise, thank you, thank you very much
)) It was a sweet revenge for 2005 Luic Garcia goal. Which never crossed the line.... So bring it on ) We'll see you at Stamford Bridge......Blue is colour!!!! Chelsea is the name!!!!From al_pachino666 on Wed Apr 23 10:17AMHi. I read ED from long time and from the begining it makes my day brighter. Sometimes because of my bad english I cant understrand everything but as a MUTD fan I find ED id to strong to chelsa and Avram G. First of all I wish MUTD won double, but for top4 PL clubs only 1st place count so there are all excuses for Arsenal /jung -unexperience.../ Liverpol/ 3 finals in 4 years.../ But for Chelsa and AG - only rocks. I couldn't stanf for Chlesa when Murino whas there because of his arogance, but now I wish they take some silwer... / in which case it will mean my team has loost - Awram deserve some respect
From marokrile on Wed Apr 23 10:19AMGossagemartin.You're jibe at the Portuguese goal dynamo, Cristiano Ronaldo was spot on.He does seem incredibly vain-i mean incredible, in the proper sense of the word.Ok ,the boys not ugly but vanity is not an attractive quality in a human being.This one time while playing for Sporting, Ronaldo received a pass from one of his team mates and let it dribble out for a throw-in to the opposition. Apparently he was too busy checking his appearance on the large screen at the end of the stadium.Wonderful footballer-not very good at concealing his vanity.Lets hope big Zambrotta plants his boot in that pretty face of his.By the way my girlfriend says she doesn't find him atrractive anyway.That's probably because shes used to looking at me everyday.Hehehaha!Back to the football-Man U 3-Barcelona 0.Boy you've changed your tune says someone.
From samuelbanks on Wed Apr 23 10:22AMIt's worse than sad - it's pathetic. At least that's what my gf says
I love games too...but it's squeaky-bum-time, so the only thing on my mind is what on earth Messi thinks he can do with Vidic on his neck.
On the other hand, I'm sure these dudes have happy relationships, since their partners know they wouldn't go out for some playboy bunnies, or who do guys cheat with nowadays
A - won't your bf/hubby be mad at u for leaving him all alone all weekend? Spring IS in the air, u know?
B - No silly. He won't even notice (laugh).
A - Why? I guess he'll be out partying then?
B - Nope. He'll spend the weekend caressing his PS3 pad. He even prefers that to porn.From tosinsbox on Wed Apr 23 10:23AM@ marokrile: as a Man Utd fan I feel ashamed, disgusted and enraged that in the same post, u call urself a Man Utd fan and also wish that Chelsea win the Prem or CL just co Grant can get some respect??????
Geez. Where do these folks come from?From tosinsbox on Wed Apr 23 10:25AMPoor Chelsea, with all their problems.......You would think that after spending £400m over the last couple of years, they would have a bit of a squad !!
From garyevs on Wed Apr 23 10:28AMChicken Cacciatore
From drmicksweeney on Wed Apr 23 10:28AMkevmun82 , get it on line it is the best thing you'll do,
Paulchappel82, have had min on order since before the last relase date, all my mates thought i was daft, but i'm the one laffin now as i'm the one having it deliverd and they are all going out looking for it in the shops.Here's looking at you liberty city!
From kev_tech2003 on Wed Apr 23 10:29AMMarokrile.......jeez
From garyevs on Wed Apr 23 10:29AM
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