Europhile
Thu Apr 24 09:09AM
Such is the blame culture we find ourselves in these days, Early Doors has no compunction whatsoever in pointing the finger this morning and identifying those responsible for last night's under-par Manchester United performance. It seemed unlikely that United-Barcelona would be the biggest snoozefest of the week, considering Liverpool were playing Chelsea in the same seven days, but that's exactly what it proved to be.
No goals, no attacking nous from United, poor tactics, a missed penalty and masses of disappointed fans. Where did it all go wrong?
Alex Ferguson - Fergie cannot hide his love of European competition. Even when his tactics fail to hit the mark and his side puts in such dire performances, he still manages to beam into the camera during his post-match television interviews and comes over all cuddly and jovial. "Europe, eh? Fantastic. Barcelona are a huge club, great history, super atmosphere. Nights like this are what it's all about," he didn't say last night, but probably has done at some stage. It's a far cry from the ugly snarling manner he employs in the Premier League. If United had put in that kind of performance in a domestic match, Fergie would have gone ballistic, refused to speak to the media and set his hair-dryer to full blast in the dressing room. You can't help but think that United may have reached one or two more Champions League finals over recent years had Euro-Ferg been a bit more, well, normal.
Cristiano Ronaldo - Much the same as Euro-Ferg, Euro-Ron decided to change a winning formula for the biggest game of the season so far. Having scored five out of six spot kicks this season, you'd have thought he would stick to what has largely worked for him so far. But no, he decided to ditch the checked run that has previously served him well and go with a much straighter run-up. The result was hardly surprising. The good news is that, such is his supreme arrogance and apparent clairvoyant skill, his miss was "no problem" and he will "score next week" - fact. Is there any need to turn up at all?
Samuel Eto'o - The following statement is sad but true - in the modern game of football, honesty all too often equates to stupidity. There, it's been said. Had Eto'o gone down in the box in the 50th minute under a Snoop Ferdinand challenge instead of riding the tackle, Barcelona would have been given the chance to take the lead from the spot. And a Barca goal would have forced United to come out and attack more, thereby leading to a more entertaining game. Simple. Eto'o is a silly boy, even if his tactics now seem like a good idea - after all United didn't get a vital away goal, did they?
Of course, taking a clean sheet back to Manchester from Barcelona is no mean feat, but ED would be a whole lot more confident had an away goal been notched.
At least it sets up a potentially thrilling feast of attractive attacking football at Old Trafford next week which promises goals galor... no, wait, just stop there.
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HEADLINE OF THE DAY: Boy Blunder - Mail. It can only be that boy Ronaldo.
"OH NOU" HEADLINE COUNT: Surprisingly low with just three - Sun, Mirror, Metro.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "We are confident we have made the right choice." A BBC Radio Five spokesperson on the appointment of Steve McClaren as a pundit for this summer's Euro 2008 tournament.
"I have no doubt that he has all the credentials to be very successful in the job and wish him all the best." Sven-Goran Eriksson on McClaren's appointment as England manager in 2006.
FOREIGN VIEW: Bulgarian officials are in danger of losing their jobs after a clampdown by the local FA on poor performances. Six officials have this week been suspended for crimes ranging from making poor decisions and favouring certain teams to a lack of fitness. But the latest punishments seem rather lenient considering two referees were handed life bans for their incompetency last season. Just imagine what the Bulgarians would do to the likes of Howard Webb, Mark Clattenburg, Mike Riley and Rob Styles.
TERRIFYING STALKER MOMENT OF THE DAY: Brought to you courtesy of garagemusic: "Alex Chick is the funny Early doors writer, he has a satirical slant on football that is completely without parallel. The other two writers are not in the same league and leave me with a real sense of disappointment two out of three days of the week. I am sure that Alex Chick used to be the main writer back in ED's golden days, and since the new format with the author cycling between three writers the standard has dropped significantly." Selecta!
TALKING POINT: "Anyone else hear Clive Tyldesley say that Drogba was 'trying to pull off Skrtel'?" asked chrisnewman950 yesterday. No, but thanks for bringing it to everybody's attention.
Which leads us nicely to the topic of unintentional on-air sporting gaffes, such as Brian Johnston's classic "the bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey". Post your favourites in the usual manner below.
COMING UP: This week's European action is still not over - just the small matter of Rangers' UEFA Cup semi-final with Fiorentina to go. Follow live text commentary on tonight's big match in Glasgow from 19:45. And in the meantime, we'll bring you the latest European Power Rankings and Paul Parker's thoughts on the week's events so far.
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IM this storySeems to me Alex Chick is not content with just writing Early Doors. He now wants to write the readers' comment too. More prolific you just can't get!
From smpollock on Thu Apr 24 12:33PMFrom mel_lilley2005 on Thu Apr 24 12:06P
re vitaly_olitrade
Some kind of joke ?it's not a joke. She has died today. very sad.
From vitali_oiltrade on Thu Apr 24 12:38PMThe best commentry was cricket - a test between west Indies and England - Michael Holding in to bat and Peter Willie coming in to bowl. Quote the commentator "The batsman's Holding the bowlers Willie"!
From chrisbarker2000 on Thu Apr 24 12:41PMAnneriab
I have heard the wee Irishman Tommy Smythe.I have noticed he sounded a bit ridiculous.I have heard Chinese commentators that are easier to understand.Tommy Smythe would say something.like;'Ahh da standurd aff foodbal is veri veri pour.Ders nat mooch happnin in da finol turd'.Sorry, Tommy- why are you bringing human waste into it?
From samuelbanks on Thu Apr 24 01:15PMChris Barker, that's the example ED used... uh-oh spaghetti-oh's!
From the_kop2003 on Thu Apr 24 01:15PMWould you all leave Alex Chick alone.Personally i couldn't give a @#$% whos writing what.The ED writers are clearly very talented journalists. They produce a consistently high standard of material each and every day.Some articles are beter than others-but rarely do they fail to provoke a rich variety of comment and debate.
From samuelbanks on Thu Apr 24 01:27PMWho's dead.Frank Lampard's mother.I heard she was ill.Is that Harry Rednapp's sister in law by any chance.I think the Lampards and the Rednapps are related.
From samuelbanks on Thu Apr 24 01:37PMCapital Radio's Pat Sharpe once said; 'Borussia Moenchengladbach now theres a weak side if ever i saw one..but i tell you what.. you wouldnt' want to play them at scrabble'.
From samuelbanks on Thu Apr 24 01:59PMTommy Smythe is always making an ass of himself on the air for ESPN. Yesterday, he said something habitually stupid and along the lines of, "It's sometimes important for you not to concede goals, especially when you have not scored any". Wow!
From jasondharrison on Thu Apr 24 02:48PMJonathon Pearce has to be the biggest tw*t in commentating history. For pure commentating genius/madness, there's only one Sid Waddell.
From mpasc66 on Thu Apr 24 03:01PMUnforgettable comment from Ireland´s George Hamilton during Rep. of Ireland - Costa Rica(World cup, years ago) after clever play or goal from Costa Rica:- "... and that wasn´t bad coming from a nation of guitar players and petrol pump attendants"
From d.obrienis on Thu Apr 24 03:11PMis it possible that the defensive tactics employed by man united were becas of their poor record away in europe.if barca didn't manage to score after 65%of the possesion it will be a lot harder for them to score with less of the ball at old trafford.defense win championships and thats what we'll see from united
From michaelmhindu on Thu Apr 24 03:20PMGoogled around and found "Once Tony Daley opens his legs you've got a problem" (Howard Wilkinson), "Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds totally against the run of play" (Peter Lorenzo), "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel", (Stuart Pearce), "We can't tell you the result, but the winning goal by Niall Quinn was his fourteenth of the season." (Jim Rosenthal.
From james_ssmith on Thu Apr 24 03:42PMDon't give ED a face or a name...please It wouldn't be the same in a negative sense. Pretty dull article today really but reflects yesterday's game. Ronaldo was rubbish and moaning all the way, Barca pressed for the ball much better then United did, but at the end of the day its the 0-0 that counts i guess. Old Trafford might just die if its treated to that standard a snooze fest.
From the.clanger on Thu Apr 24 03:47PMKevin Keegan during his 1st stint at the Toon- "We deserved the win. We hammered them 0-0."
And in the run up to playing Man Utd: "I don't think they're as good as they are."
And Keegan the pundit- "A substitute is about to come on. He's a player that was left out of the starting line up today."
"Argentina are the 2nd best team in the world. There's no higher praise than that."
The man's a fool.
From chrisnewman950 on Thu Apr 24 03:47PMFootball commentator.'Julian Dicks is everywhere.It's like they have eleven dicks out on the pitch'.Dressage commentator.'This is a really lovely horse.I speak from personal experience since i mounted her mother'.Boxing commentator.Sure there have been injuries in boxing and even some deaths but none of them really serious'.Football pundit.I don't think he's had major knee surgery on any other part of his body.Ian Wright on Tony Adams alcoholism.'He's done well to give the drink up.That took alot of bottle'
From samuelbanks on Thu Apr 24 03:55PMBy the way.Did you hear the arrogance of Ronaldo and Fergie after the game last night.Ronaldo;'Yes i miss penalty..but this is no problem..I score in Manchester..this is football...i get other chance..i score.Its as simply as that.Then Fergie gave his tuppance worth.'I well..way keppt Barca quiet..i don't think they creted tay many chanzees.I think way played good food bal.We did well keepin them from getin doon the flanks.@#$% Fergie.Admitt that you were outplayed just for once.Tactics-my arse.I don't think Fergie knows the difference between tactics and those litle minty sweets.
From samuelbanks on Thu Apr 24 04:08PMAfter days of hearing how Liverpool v Chelsea was going to be sooooo boring and how Barca v Man U was going to be a "feast of attacking football", like it was going to be 5 - 5 or something.........hahahahaha.....Chelsea win the entertainment stakes. It has to be said though, the better teams do tend to cancel each other out and even the Liverpool Arsenal 4-2 was more about drama than quality. Still all nicely set up for next week. Can't wait for my next fix of Eurofootie.
From michelangeloindeed on Thu Apr 24 04:23PMLiked that last bit of wit, Samuel. Most original sentence of the day.
From james_ssmith on Thu Apr 24 04:44PMShould wish Rangers good luck against Fiorentina Tonight.Is it on ITV 4.The gers don't stand too much chance over the two legs.They're going for 4 tropies and its bound to catch up with them sometime.I suppose know one really give a @#$% about scotch football.You donn't hear many people talikng about 'the league up there'.There is a good reason for that.Its something to do 2 horses and a very boring race.
From samuelbanks on Thu Apr 24 05:02PMWhat are we all goin to do when the seasons over? Awell 45 days to go until he start of Euro 2008.Cant wait.Come on Eng..ahh.Come on Murray.....ahh, f£%k theres nothing to look forward to.. COME ON TIM!
From samuelbanks on Thu Apr 24 06:33PMSamuelbanks
you are on overload today son, where is it all coming from? Shame about Euro 2008, will have to support my back up team instead. Not a fan of Frank Lampard, but I will have to say that I feel for him if his mother has in fact passed away. Does anyone know for sure? She has been very ill. In answer to your question samuelbanks, Harry Redknapp and Frank Lampard married two sisters way back when they were both at West Ham in their playing days, hence Jamie and Frank Jnr being cousins. And yes, the seasons nearly over, but Euro 2008 will ensure debate whether the English are there or not. I am no great cricket lover, more rugby, so the tennis will have to do I suppose. ......
From barny1158 on Thu Apr 24 06:53PMCOME ON TIM!
From not_blonde_really on Thu Apr 24 06:56PMSure Tim has retired!! As has Rusedski........Only Murray and he's Scottish and I though its unfair to jump on the bandwagon, but they say "Great Britain" so we best cheer him on......
From barny1158 on Thu Apr 24 07:16PMI know Barney.To use a famous football term..Im overloading the box-the comments box that is.On the subject of British tennis.Well don't get me started.Andy Murray is much better than Tim Henman.He might even win Wimbledon this year.I wouldn't put it past him.By all accounts Andy Murray has more trouble raising a smile than he does winning tournaments.
From samuelbanks on Thu Apr 24 07:26PMI've just heard Andy Murray has just been beat by Novak Djokovic.I've changed my mind.He's no chance of winning Wimbledon.The fixleness of sport eh!
From samuelbanks on Thu Apr 24 07:28PMWell it is indeed true that Pat Lampard died today, sad day for the Lampard family. Feel for them...........And samuelbanks, Andy is a bit grumpy, but who else have we got eh?
From barny1158 on Thu Apr 24 07:37PMwell if clive said it it must be true coz i heard it!!! thr drog is good but hes got to stop diving if hes ever gonna play in italy coz hes 2 soft harden up lad and up your side and geet your diving right!!!(after the champions lge game with liverpool) up the reds!!!
From greglfc on Thu Apr 24 08:44PMRonaldo and his penalties; that run ,stop, run @#$% is illegal anyway.No ref,s got the balls to stop him .Talking of penalties , why is it if your man is inside the box as you score (nudge ,nudge )that you take it again .Its an infringement and , tough titty,a free kick should go the the defending side .Thus , ronaldo does his pathetic stumble and what do you know its go away you worm and we`ll have a free kick thank you!
From gossagemartin on Thu Apr 24 11:20PM
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