The saviour of English football
Thu Aug 28 09:00AM
Behind the strangely fake-looking facial hair that Early Doors can't get used to after more than a year perched precariously on Rafa Benitez's face (the facial hair, not ED), lies the saviour of English football.
The Liverpool gaffer might just have saved the nation's bacon with his brazenly self-serving decision to send Steven Gerrard for groin surgery.
As a result, Fabio Capello will not get the opportunity to "kill" Stevie G in the World Cup qualifiers against Andorra and Croatia.
(Indicentally - before Scouseland goes off half-cocked - ED has no problem with Liverpool sending Gerrard for an operation ahead of the international break. He's their player after all. But it's fairly cynical.)
Given England managers' pathological inability to pick just one of Gerrard and Frank Lampard, that could be great news indeed.
Only once can ED remember an England manager dropping either man, and that was when Steve McClaren, of all people, kept Gareth Barry in ahead of Lampard for the Euro 2008 qualifiers against Estonia and Russia.
Of course, McClaren lost his bottle, by bringing Lampard back, and then his job, by losing to Croatia (the second time, with the umbrella. Not the first time with the Robinson airshot; or indeed the third time - signature calamitous moment to be decided).
Otherwise, successive coaches have attempted to shoehorn them both into the same, alpha-male-heavy midfield by playing either one or both men hopelessly out of position.
Remember Sven's attempt to convert Fat Frank into a holding player? Or Gerrard's recent deployment on the left (ED doesn't care what Don Fabio's Christmas tree says; he was playing out wide)?
Now Capello is more or less forced to pick a midfield with some balance, with Joe Cole on the left, where he is good, and Barry and Lampard in the middle.
Even with David Beckham strolling around on the right, day-dreaming about his courtside seats at the Lakers and pinging corners straight at the nearest defender, it looks a hell of a lot better.
So, if England go on to win the 2010 World Cup - a big ask, admittedly - Capello should share his honorary knighthood with Benitez.
- - -
People are very keen on putting a price tag on goals, particularly important ones like Dirk Kuyt's extra-time winner against Standard Liege, which cruelly robbed ED of the delicious spectacle of penalties.
Kuyt's tap-in, bringing as it did the guarantee of Champions League football, was valued at £30m; a handy way to repay his vastly inflated transfer fee more than three times over.
But surely the real value to Liverpool fans is not the financial worth, but the facts that: a) They can still win the flipping Champions League, and b) They were spared the embarrassment of getting turned over by a moderate Belgian outfit. The £30m is really neither here nor there.
- - -
Gareth Barry's announcement, via his agent, that he has "decided" to stay at Aston Villa made Early Doors chuckle.
This, of course, is the same Gareth Barry who two months ago said: "My mind's made up, I want to join Liverpool. There's no going back, it's time for me to move on. I'm desperate to play Champions League football and that's why I have to leave Villa."
What's more, the Barry saga demonstrated that he is no more able to decide which club he plays for than he is to sprout wings and fly the entire Villa squad to Cleethorpes.
Contracts are only "not worth the paper they are written on" if clubs spinelessly give in to their players' every whim and allow bigger clubs to bully them.
Villa told Liverpool to meet their valuation of Barry, which they didn't, so the player stayed put. That's how transfers used to work.
In a similar spirit to Barry, Early Doors would like to announce that, after much speculation, it will not become Barack Obama's running mate for the US Presidency.
ED made the decision to stay two weeks ago and informed Senator Obama of his intentions.
ED wants to concentrate on getting up at six in the morning to write some crappy blog, and hopes this draws a line under the matter.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: Nemanja Vidic on his alleged unflattering comments about Manchester: "I'd like to clarify that I did not make these particular remarks. I spoke about the difficulty I had settling in to life in Manchester, but that does not reflect how I feel now."
Er, so which was it? Are the quotes made up or did you just not mean them? Even Manchester United's official site is confused, saying the remarks "have either been taken out of context or misquoted."
FOREIGN VIEW: "Not Cristiano, nor Villa, nor Cazorla" - Marca laments that, despite the paper's best efforts, Real Madrid have drawn a big fat blank in their pursuit of their main transfer targets this summer.
TALKING POINT: lordofjapes: "ed is a t*** gland. since when has vidic been known as such a hard man? answer? only by man united fans which ed, based down south no doubt, evidently is. the constant digs at city are ridiculous. we've spanked your local team three nowt at the weekend. why don't you take your s***ty column and **** off."
master7525 "Whoever wrote the article is either an idiot or just hates the fact that Manchester United are losing they're best players...."
Today - Who would you most like to see ruled out of England contention? And is Early Doors really a t*** gland?
COMING UP: It's the Champions League draw this afternoon at 5pm - we have live video streaming and traditional text comment coverage. Plus there's UEFA Cup football today, with Manchester City in a spot of bother and Aston Villa, well, not.
lucky looserpool.
From kudachisepo2000 on Thu Aug 28 09:43AMjacknfor : ouch! it is going to be close after all then...
From risker15 on Thu Aug 28 09:45AMI couldnt hate Liverpool anymore. the EPL's scum!
It was so obvious they would get stupidly lucky. I think they should be kicked out the CL just for being tossers!
From sav46e on Thu Aug 28 09:45AMReally, really, really poor excuse for an effort at sports journalism! You lot make Fatty Samuel and Woolnough seem like Turner Prize winning journo's.
From jackburns107 on Thu Aug 28 09:45AMkevin, try getting past ur groupstage first. then take on the gooners...we'll thrash you...
From risker15 on Thu Aug 28 09:46AMkevin,if we meet you guys again his year,i believe it will be the same thing as last year.We will whoop ur arses and won't even need to get to extra time before knocking u guys off(this will only be possible if u even make it pass the group stages first).Peace man
From jacknfor on Thu Aug 28 09:46AMSav - The Gooners i.e Fulham 1-O Arsenal, Liverpool 5-3 Arsenal CL Agg, is that the Gooners you refer to? You're having a laugh! Jack, we will be there is the semi's waiting for you!
From kevin1985kane on Thu Aug 28 09:51AMWhatever happened to Robbie Keane...still on his 18 games extended leave before he scores like Crouchie. Guess thats a signing on condition at Liverpool.
From patrick_kaburu on Thu Aug 28 09:54AMgrand_master: its ok, I am the jedi master and you are the padawan. I dont need to have "first" to prove it ;)
risquer: i needed a change - right now im kitted up in "Les Bleus" outfit
jacknfor: peace to you mate! only 0.5 points between us in the fantasy league now ;) closing in on you!
sav: now now, dont be all bîtter
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 09:55AMOhhh Liver Liver.. Liver, Liver, Liver, Liver, sausage and chips
From raffertyjam on Thu Aug 28 09:57AMkantong: Im afraid you are horribly wrong as i am in actual fact the Batman. Feel free to take up the reigns of Robin =P
From grand_master_woogey on Thu Aug 28 09:57AMBeckham ruled out for life for playing away from home - bentley injured and Milner playing the game of his life on the right wing
From andy5powell on Thu Aug 28 09:57AMDespite my realistic views on the mighty Reds..... we will get better, Rafa's goatie has stopped rotating too much. Risker: a left winger isw soon to sign and rafa might play babel on the right (and tell him to stay there). With Mash and Lucas back and Agger almost back the improvement in the depth of the squad will tell.
KW: another positive other than the fact we are 2nd in the EPL and in the group stages of the CL is that el zahr looked pretty pretty good.....
From some_steam on Thu Aug 28 09:57AMYou are all losers and @#$%s to boot.
From seansugahara2000 on Thu Aug 28 09:58AMYou are all losers and @#$%s to boot.
From seansugahara2000 on Thu Aug 28 09:59AMActually for an obvious anti scouse piece of drivel, its quite accurate. Ask any die hard koppite and they will always say Liverpool first, England last.I for one couldn't give a @#$% whether Stevie is fit for England, especially after the flak he got last week for being asked to play out of position.
As for the bit about Gareth Barry....whats the betting he will be in Liverpool colours come the January transfer window when he is able to buy out his contract?
From andyc1167 on Thu Aug 28 09:59AMkw and all pool fans,i'll say the only positive thing i took out of lat nite's game was the fact that the ever hardworking Kuyt who is the player i love most in pool saved u guys once more.Peace
From jacknfor on Thu Aug 28 10:02AMsome_steam; that he did - nothing went benayoun's way though thats for sure
seansugar: thanks!
you're too kindFrom kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 10:02AMhiya guys
am I right in understanding robie Keane didnt play or did he turn up and walk about for a bit, anyhow, he knows there's a crisp white shirt hanging up in a dressing room at the lane if it all turns out a bit crouchy for him.
I can only saw that everytime calamity james turns up on the pitch i'm never hopeful of winning, but in saying that do we really have anyone else?
From roxydgurl on Thu Aug 28 10:02AMwell said andy ;)
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 10:03AMI for one love t*** glands, so fire away ED!!!!
On another note, i wish Wes Brown would get sucked up by the spaceship he came down on!! Even Lee Dixon would make a better right back these days!!
From cdbragg on Thu Aug 28 10:03AMmorning roxy: keane moved about a bit towards the end there - but I think it was only cause he was getting pins and needles for standing still for so long ;) I expect the lad to find his place with us soon though - no need to backtrack when life can be all colourful in red ;)
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 10:06AMGee thanks Seansugahara2000 (knobbish name), what a king thing to say!
I can't believe I'm last in Jude's League on Fantasy Football...
From claire881 on Thu Aug 28 10:07AMHow strange ED that yesterday's article should deride Manchester City and today Liverpool are your target. Obviously not the actions of a @#$% gland Man United fan eh? I thought journalists were meant to be unbiased? How about the likelihood of winning the league relying on the goals of the prolific Darren Fletcher? How about the two young Brazilian boys you've borrowed from Gary Glitter? How about having a drug cheat for your captain? How about being the most overdrawn club in world football? I'm sure if you think hard enough you can divert some cynicism towards that rags.
From lordofjapes on Thu Aug 28 10:10AMkw,i can feel the heat already on my arse meaning i have to change my tactics so as to leave all others far behind on the fantasy league.Peace
From jacknfor on Thu Aug 28 10:11AMjacknfor: I think we can also take out of the game a qualification, and as ED said, an extra 30£mill, but thats neither here nor there ;) just means extra pocket money when that january transfer window opens up again ;)
Kuyt is a killer on that corner goal like last night - its a regular little trick of his... and Reina proved why he is prob one of the best keepers in the league too
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 10:11AMsorry claire you're in my space, i didn't expect better than last
From roxydgurl on Thu Aug 28 10:12AMLiverpool
From isaksson123isaac on Thu Aug 28 10:12AMto quote jude, I suck at fantasy footy, my best fantasy's are elsewhere
From roxydgurl on Thu Aug 28 10:13AMroxydgurl...I think our beloved spurs should move on without those players who think they can do better elsewhere...maybe with a little luck in the next four days, we can still nip in at 4th with like 50 points considering the "quality" at Liverpool and the others.
From patrick_kaburu on Thu Aug 28 10:13AM
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