Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

The saviour of English football

Thu Aug 28 09:00AM

Behind the strangely fake-looking facial hair that Early Doors can't get used to after more than a year perched precariously on Rafa Benitez's face (the facial hair, not ED), lies the saviour of English football.

The Liverpool gaffer might just have saved the nation's bacon with his brazenly self-serving decision to send Steven Gerrard for groin surgery.

As a result, Fabio Capello will not get the opportunity to "kill" Stevie G in the World Cup qualifiers against Andorra and Croatia.

(Indicentally - before Scouseland goes off half-cocked - ED has no problem with Liverpool sending Gerrard for an operation ahead of the international break. He's their player after all. But it's fairly cynical.)

Given England managers' pathological inability to pick just one of Gerrard and Frank Lampard, that could be great news indeed.

Only once can ED remember an England manager dropping either man, and that was when Steve McClaren, of all people, kept Gareth Barry in ahead of Lampard for the Euro 2008 qualifiers against Estonia and Russia.

Of course, McClaren lost his bottle, by bringing Lampard back, and then his job, by losing to Croatia (the second time, with the umbrella. Not the first time with the Robinson airshot; or indeed the third time - signature calamitous moment to be decided).

Otherwise, successive coaches have attempted to shoehorn them both into the same, alpha-male-heavy midfield by playing either one or both men hopelessly out of position.

Remember Sven's attempt to convert Fat Frank into a holding player? Or Gerrard's recent deployment on the left (ED doesn't care what Don Fabio's Christmas tree says; he was playing out wide)?

Now Capello is more or less forced to pick a midfield with some balance, with Joe Cole on the left, where he is good, and Barry and Lampard in the middle.

Even with David Beckham strolling around on the right, day-dreaming about his courtside seats at the Lakers and pinging corners straight at the nearest defender, it looks a hell of a lot better.

So, if England go on to win the 2010 World Cup - a big ask, admittedly - Capello should share his honorary knighthood with Benitez.

- - -

People are very keen on putting a price tag on goals, particularly important ones like Dirk Kuyt's extra-time winner against Standard Liege, which cruelly robbed ED of the delicious spectacle of penalties.

Kuyt's tap-in, bringing as it did the guarantee of Champions League football, was valued at £30m; a handy way to repay his vastly inflated transfer fee more than three times over.

But surely the real value to Liverpool fans is not the financial worth, but the facts that: a) They can still win the flipping Champions League, and b) They were spared the embarrassment of getting turned over by a moderate Belgian outfit. The £30m is really neither here nor there.

- - -

Gareth Barry's announcement, via his agent, that he has "decided" to stay at Aston Villa made Early Doors chuckle.

This, of course, is the same Gareth Barry who two months ago said: "My mind's made up, I want to join Liverpool. There's no going back, it's time for me to move on. I'm desperate to play Champions League football and that's why I have to leave Villa."

What's more, the Barry saga demonstrated that he is no more able to decide which club he plays for than he is to sprout wings and fly the entire Villa squad to Cleethorpes.

Contracts are only "not worth the paper they are written on" if clubs spinelessly give in to their players' every whim and allow bigger clubs to bully them.

Villa told Liverpool to meet their valuation of Barry, which they didn't, so the player stayed put. That's how transfers used to work.

In a similar spirit to Barry, Early Doors would like to announce that, after much speculation, it will not become Barack Obama's running mate for the US Presidency.

ED made the decision to stay two weeks ago and informed Senator Obama of his intentions.

ED wants to concentrate on getting up at six in the morning to write some crappy blog, and hopes this draws a line under the matter.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Nemanja Vidic on his alleged unflattering comments about Manchester: "I'd like to clarify that I did not make these particular remarks. I spoke about the difficulty I had settling in to life in Manchester, but that does not reflect how I feel now."

Er, so which was it? Are the quotes made up or did you just not mean them? Even Manchester United's official site is confused, saying the remarks "have either been taken out of context or misquoted."

FOREIGN VIEW: "Not Cristiano, nor Villa, nor Cazorla" - Marca laments that, despite the paper's best efforts, Real Madrid have drawn a big fat blank in their pursuit of their main transfer targets this summer.

TALKING POINT: lordofjapes: "ed is a t*** gland. since when has vidic been known as such a hard man? answer? only by man united fans which ed, based down south no doubt, evidently is. the constant digs at city are ridiculous. we've spanked your local team three nowt at the weekend. why don't you take your s***ty column and **** off."

master7525 "Whoever wrote the article is either an idiot or just hates the fact that Manchester United are losing they're best players...."

Today - Who would you most like to see ruled out of England contention? And is Early Doors really a t*** gland?

COMING UP: It's the Champions League draw this afternoon at 5pm - we have live video streaming and traditional text comment coverage. Plus there's UEFA Cup football today, with Manchester City in a spot of bother and Aston Villa, well, not.

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claire: think positive - as they say - the only way is up! ;)
from seansugahara2000's comment - I figured HE must have been on the bottom ;)
jacknfor has beaten me by a measly 0.5 points - aaaaaargh!
lordoftheapes: while I must point out I have never appreciated your sexist comments of the past, that was actually very amusing
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 10:14AM
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roxy, keane has been a strange purchase for lfc, because he does not seem to fit rafas goaties system, i am sure he will come good, but if not does he come with a 28 day money back policy?
From some_steam on Thu Aug 28 10:14AM
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jacknfor is in my space in the fantasy league ;)
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 10:16AM
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morning roxy,where are ur best fantasies then?
I join kw in saying u and claire should think positive and do some minor changes on ur teams and u'll get off ur respective positions.Peace
From jacknfor on Thu Aug 28 10:17AM
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eh, wen did I refer to the gooners?
From sav46e on Thu Aug 28 10:18AM
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i really hope so some steam, he's the main reason im in this ballet outfit
From roxydgurl on Thu Aug 28 10:18AM
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no no kw.I am in the right position so that there's no war outbreak in Surf's Up.peace
From jacknfor on Thu Aug 28 10:19AM
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jacknfor: you are adorable xx ;) I promise I would fulfil a peaceful reign over the surf's up league though if I were on the top!
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 10:22AM
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4th in surfs up, as usual, forever 4th.
From some_steam on Thu Aug 28 10:22AM
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no no some steam - we are hunting down the leader - crikey! where's that fighting red spirit!
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 10:24AM
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Yea Gerrard will not play for England .. so what??? He wasn't even playing in his preferred position so it won't be a big loss for Capello! Gerrard is Liverpool's player & Rafa did JUST THE RIGHT THING! What did you expect, that he lets him play more games in pain until the England qualifiers are over??!?! No way! And anyway, there's no hope for England - with or without Gerrard!
From anthonygrima on Thu Aug 28 10:26AM
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I have to go do some work... but before I go, who is who?
Rank Team Points
1 Jack's XI 175.00 (obviously jacknfor)
2 ThereisonlyoneNando 174.50 (moi)
3 apple-cider 157.50 (?)
4 The Dirty Dozen XI 135.00 (some steam)
5 SouthTown Chimps 129.00 (?)
6 pathetic athletic sucks 122.50 (?)
7 Jude's suckers 118.00 (obviously Jude!)
8 Crazy Doors XI 109.50 (artti?)
9 roxy's XI 106.50 (Roxydgurl)
10 Axe 'em Villa 94.50 (?)
11 Gob's XI (Claire)
who are the 'unknowns'?
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 10:27AM
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Players never to pull on an England shirt again - Wes Brown, Ashley Cole, both Neville Brothers, Beckham, Lamplard, Lescott.
Fabio should be on his knees pleading with Jamie Carragher to accept a call up
From garagehead1 on Thu Aug 28 10:28AM
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ive been fiddling with mine jack, the team that is and the 3 non starters are gone
i cant say i'd be letting out those fantasy's on here, the ED police will be round with big sticks i expect
From roxydgurl on Thu Aug 28 10:29AM
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garagehead1 oh liverpool fan are you
From sav46e on Thu Aug 28 10:32AM
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as I write this, there are 74 comments - about 25 are actually "on-topic" the rest are just garbage.
Why can't we just have a proper discussion without stupidity, bad language, abuse and just plain slagging off the teams you don't like?
If you have nothing constructive to say, just go away
From garagehead1 on Thu Aug 28 10:34AM
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sav46e - I'm a FOOTBALL fan, I can admire ANY good player, regardless of his club
From garagehead1 on Thu Aug 28 10:36AM
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Garagehead - Are you looking for World peace?
From kevin1985kane on Thu Aug 28 10:36AM
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sav: everybody is a liverpool fan at heart.
From some_steam on Thu Aug 28 10:37AM
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just looking for a good no-nonsense discussion without the bleatings from air-heads.
and yes.... world peace would be good too!!
From garagehead1 on Thu Aug 28 10:38AM
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I still like you ED ;~D
From zac.fawcett on Thu Aug 28 10:41AM
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Hi ED,
This SEASON u got a lot on
LUCKY LOOSERPOOL
& Groining GOONERS
peace y'all
From abrokenlife on Thu Aug 28 10:43AM
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Sam: It is true, the only way is up thankfully, I can't get any worse and to be honest I'm confident for this weekend, I've made some changes and am hoping for a weekend full of points for me!
From claire881 on Thu Aug 28 10:43AM
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there's no way i'm a liverpool fan, they're a red team and that's too close to being a gooner for me, of the top 4 i'd only have to go for chelski, but i wont
From roxydgurl on Thu Aug 28 10:43AM
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so I'll take that as a yes then!
I certianly aint. I would give my right ball if they would just die!
kevin. what was ur gooners comment to me about? didnt understand
From sav46e on Thu Aug 28 10:43AM
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Some_steam, i don't think your comment number 79 is true but if it is it might explain the rise in suicide rates and the rampant self-loathing in society at large.
From rob_snaith on Thu Aug 28 10:44AM
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Sav - Apoligies, I meant to refer to Risker, but I noticed your anti-LFC jibe while I was responding!
From kevin1985kane on Thu Aug 28 10:46AM
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there's no way everybody is a pool's fan at heart.I am already an exception to that.Peace
From jacknfor on Thu Aug 28 10:47AM
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Mornin folks
Dropped for England: James - decent enough and been on form for a while but a barrel of disasters waiting to happen.
I see the argument with Wes Brown, he doesn't play well for England at all, but are there any better options at the moment? Micah Richards out of position maybe.
I don't think ED is a @#$% gland (isn't a @#$% a gland already? My biology's pretty poor, whats the definition?), i think of it more as a silicon based procrastination aid.
From rob_snaith on Thu Aug 28 10:49AM
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jacknfor: maybe you do not know it yet..... it could be used in your defence next time you are caught stealing hubcaps? (in the name of peace)
From some_steam on Thu Aug 28 10:53AM
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