Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

The saviour of English football

Thu Aug 28 09:00AM

Behind the strangely fake-looking facial hair that Early Doors can't get used to after more than a year perched precariously on Rafa Benitez's face (the facial hair, not ED), lies the saviour of English football.

The Liverpool gaffer might just have saved the nation's bacon with his brazenly self-serving decision to send Steven Gerrard for groin surgery.

As a result, Fabio Capello will not get the opportunity to "kill" Stevie G in the World Cup qualifiers against Andorra and Croatia.

(Indicentally - before Scouseland goes off half-cocked - ED has no problem with Liverpool sending Gerrard for an operation ahead of the international break. He's their player after all. But it's fairly cynical.)

Given England managers' pathological inability to pick just one of Gerrard and Frank Lampard, that could be great news indeed.

Only once can ED remember an England manager dropping either man, and that was when Steve McClaren, of all people, kept Gareth Barry in ahead of Lampard for the Euro 2008 qualifiers against Estonia and Russia.

Of course, McClaren lost his bottle, by bringing Lampard back, and then his job, by losing to Croatia (the second time, with the umbrella. Not the first time with the Robinson airshot; or indeed the third time - signature calamitous moment to be decided).

Otherwise, successive coaches have attempted to shoehorn them both into the same, alpha-male-heavy midfield by playing either one or both men hopelessly out of position.

Remember Sven's attempt to convert Fat Frank into a holding player? Or Gerrard's recent deployment on the left (ED doesn't care what Don Fabio's Christmas tree says; he was playing out wide)?

Now Capello is more or less forced to pick a midfield with some balance, with Joe Cole on the left, where he is good, and Barry and Lampard in the middle.

Even with David Beckham strolling around on the right, day-dreaming about his courtside seats at the Lakers and pinging corners straight at the nearest defender, it looks a hell of a lot better.

So, if England go on to win the 2010 World Cup - a big ask, admittedly - Capello should share his honorary knighthood with Benitez.

- - -

People are very keen on putting a price tag on goals, particularly important ones like Dirk Kuyt's extra-time winner against Standard Liege, which cruelly robbed ED of the delicious spectacle of penalties.

Kuyt's tap-in, bringing as it did the guarantee of Champions League football, was valued at £30m; a handy way to repay his vastly inflated transfer fee more than three times over.

But surely the real value to Liverpool fans is not the financial worth, but the facts that: a) They can still win the flipping Champions League, and b) They were spared the embarrassment of getting turned over by a moderate Belgian outfit. The £30m is really neither here nor there.

- - -

Gareth Barry's announcement, via his agent, that he has "decided" to stay at Aston Villa made Early Doors chuckle.

This, of course, is the same Gareth Barry who two months ago said: "My mind's made up, I want to join Liverpool. There's no going back, it's time for me to move on. I'm desperate to play Champions League football and that's why I have to leave Villa."

What's more, the Barry saga demonstrated that he is no more able to decide which club he plays for than he is to sprout wings and fly the entire Villa squad to Cleethorpes.

Contracts are only "not worth the paper they are written on" if clubs spinelessly give in to their players' every whim and allow bigger clubs to bully them.

Villa told Liverpool to meet their valuation of Barry, which they didn't, so the player stayed put. That's how transfers used to work.

In a similar spirit to Barry, Early Doors would like to announce that, after much speculation, it will not become Barack Obama's running mate for the US Presidency.

ED made the decision to stay two weeks ago and informed Senator Obama of his intentions.

ED wants to concentrate on getting up at six in the morning to write some crappy blog, and hopes this draws a line under the matter.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Nemanja Vidic on his alleged unflattering comments about Manchester: "I'd like to clarify that I did not make these particular remarks. I spoke about the difficulty I had settling in to life in Manchester, but that does not reflect how I feel now."

Er, so which was it? Are the quotes made up or did you just not mean them? Even Manchester United's official site is confused, saying the remarks "have either been taken out of context or misquoted."

FOREIGN VIEW: "Not Cristiano, nor Villa, nor Cazorla" - Marca laments that, despite the paper's best efforts, Real Madrid have drawn a big fat blank in their pursuit of their main transfer targets this summer.

TALKING POINT: lordofjapes: "ed is a t*** gland. since when has vidic been known as such a hard man? answer? only by man united fans which ed, based down south no doubt, evidently is. the constant digs at city are ridiculous. we've spanked your local team three nowt at the weekend. why don't you take your s***ty column and **** off."

master7525 "Whoever wrote the article is either an idiot or just hates the fact that Manchester United are losing they're best players...."

Today - Who would you most like to see ruled out of England contention? And is Early Doors really a t*** gland?

COMING UP: It's the Champions League draw this afternoon at 5pm - we have live video streaming and traditional text comment coverage. Plus there's UEFA Cup football today, with Manchester City in a spot of bother and Aston Villa, well, not.

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ED as far as I remember Steve (pass the dutchie) mclaren only 'dropped' Lumpard for the Euro qualifiers because he was injured....
From some_steam on Thu Aug 28 11:56AM
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Ziaddina now go back and read the article and think about what you have just written!
From sikka316 on Thu Aug 28 11:58AM
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all i have to say is one thing
THANK @#$% FOR DIRK KUYT
From madman3kkk on Thu Aug 28 12:02PM
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I think its the best news England have had in ages, Capello can now play Lampard withour criticism and England will be more balanced with Barry or Hargreaves also in the middle of the park. Gerrerad stands out at Liverpool as he is one of only to top class players there with Torres when he steps up to England he is found out to be a fairly average but hard working player, lets face it hes no Kaka is he? i think we stand more chance of winning in Croatia without him
From markmcnally5565 on Thu Aug 28 12:03PM
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Did you eat your shortbread and spreading cheese?
From sav46e on Thu Aug 28 12:04PM
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try it. it is honestly brilliant.
Spreading cheese goes with anythin. laughin cow and asda white label are my favourite ones
From sav46e on Thu Aug 28 12:09PM
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hahahaaaaaaaaa very nice kevin but after the start to our season i wouldnt put it past god to smite us!!!!
From madman3kkk on Thu Aug 28 12:09PM
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Bertie.nunn: note the english team is picked based on current club form, the issue is can they reproduce this form on the national stage? Personal accountability is a requirement in every endeavor not only football but these guys think they are bigger than the Three Lions so they stroll onto the pitch get whipped by the opponent, shower, drive away in top range cars to their mansions and have dinner. fans, pay hard earned income in this days of credit crunch, struggle to make the train station in time and get home very late in a sad state can't even have dinner.
From ziaddina on Thu Aug 28 12:13PM
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great, last thing us liverpool fans want is gerrard having to play in two crappy underperforming teams, let alone picking up the naff habits of the sloath lampard.
From in12monthstime on Thu Aug 28 12:19PM
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Sikka316: on my comments i stand ED's article misplaced.
From ziaddina on Thu Aug 28 12:23PM
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Its just a shame that its Stevie G that needs an op and not Fat Frank,
J Cole G Barry S Gerrard D Beckham/Bently
From richardc3162002 on Thu Aug 28 12:30PM
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Well heres a solution to ur problem. Dnt go away expecting yopur team to win and think there good wen they aint
From sav46e on Thu Aug 28 12:42PM
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no mentio of arsenals trashing,
goes to show its of no significance.where we are bothered is in the league
From milesandy73 on Thu Aug 28 12:43PM
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In my most peaceful opinion,i don't think ED is a t*** gland.They sometimes write captivating articles and sometimes very dull and less captivating ones.One comment above blamed ED for not following journalism norms coz they outightly support a team.For that i think journalism norms should be revisited and revised.Journalists are human beings and have a right to support who they want.Let peace reign
From jacknfor on Thu Aug 28 12:46PM
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Hey Guys, Albert Riera – Is he going to be another terrible waste of money by Benitez. What is he really worth? Is he an answer to out left wing problem? I’ll be honest I know very little about him and can’t even remember him on loan to Man City. I have seen from videos that he is quite skilful, has good touch, ball control, crossing ability and a decent shot although he has a goal return of 1 in 10 which is pretty poor. I just hope he doesn’t turn out to be another Harry 'He is like a new signing again' Kewell i.e. a walking, overpaid hamstring injury and get married to a washed up soap star who died after a chimney fell on her.
From kevin1985kane on Thu Aug 28 12:47PM
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hey stuartxland sounds like you are referring to lampard?
From tgranado on Thu Aug 28 12:50PM
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Rafa will rue the day he sold Crouch. it will come back to haunt him as he needs a good fright thats why he wears that goatee beard to scare them off as some of his managerial decisions just suck
From steviecalrow on Thu Aug 28 12:52PM
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people shouldnt look at you tube to find out players are good as it only showa their best bits
From sav46e on Thu Aug 28 12:54PM
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Kevin,Rieira is a good player.I've followed him while he played in Bordeaux,Mallorca and Espanyol.In my opinion i think Kewell of Leeds was better than the Riera who was then at Mallorca.To compare both right now,Rieira may just have the edge and may prove very vital if given the necessary push.Peace
From jacknfor on Thu Aug 28 12:56PM
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Rob: Just read your Diego Forlan comment... I still supported Man U when he played for them and I loved him, mainly because he's gorgeous but also cos he was good!
From claire881 on Thu Aug 28 01:07PM
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Ziaddina: I think that's what I mean.
I agree that a guy who scores two goals against a struggling club side may not be able to do that every week at international level but he can damn well run as far as he does every other week and there is nothing to stop him putting in at least as many tackles (even if they are not won). Work rate: that's what I'm talking about. It CAN be measured and compared to a "normal" week's work for the club. Publish it all and shame the shirkers NOW!. Everyone complains about it for one player or another so why not?
As for the other fave gripe about players being more concerned with the folding stuff than the shirt: Why not make them give a few weeks hard earned to a charity when they can clearly be seen to have under performed.
I'm not talking about when we lose a game; that can (and obviously does) happen... I'm talking about every game. I mean anyone playing to an inferior level of effort and commitment than that which first attracted the manager to that player. Even if we win there should be no excuse for slacking.
I say we need FASBO's now and I think The Sun should sponsor 'em until the Don Fabio takes them up!
From bertie.nunn on Thu Aug 28 01:08PM
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And he had a knack of sh1tting on Liverpool.
From rob_snaith on Thu Aug 28 01:09PM
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Why did you change up Claire?
From rob_snaith on Thu Aug 28 01:10PM
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You mean why do I now hate Man U? Well I guess I just stopped watching the EPL for a long time and then when I started watching it again I didn't really support anyone and found Man Utd annoyed me more than most other teams now! Its weird cos I really loved them when I was a kid!
From claire881 on Thu Aug 28 01:21PM
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aaaaah thats the beauty of becoming wiser with age, Claire ;)
when you get to my ooooold age, you'll be a liverpool supporter - trust me - any hate you have for them now will melt away as fast as if you said
"Man United? What was I thinking! "
;)
Nickyates: I do believe you are late for you appointment with the psychologist. Or was that the proctologist.... !!!hahahahaha!!!
kevin: erhum - are you Liverpool, seriously?
sav: tried your shortbread and vache qui rit/gigglin cows cheese - its really goooood! tastes like cheese cake! with a thin layer of strawberry jam its even better
risquer: I speak French cause I was once married (and now divorced) to a Frenchman and I live in France.
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 01:27PM
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rob: you're sKum !
(didnt want to leave you out and thought I should say hello!)
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 01:29PM
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madman3kkk - you can also say thank fùck for Reina too really... ;)
From kantong_wokster on Thu Aug 28 01:30PM
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Arsenal's trashing of McClaren's men was run of the mill stuff, not worthy of mention. Now Standard's show at Anfield made us all sit up and take notice...made a few Aussies working in some Paris dump sweat a while too. Pool's start to this season resembles their start to the last...a lucky free kick against Villa which led to a winner. A few weeks later they were anchored in fourth!!! But cheer up, Pool supporters. If your luck still runs, you might draw Arsenal's kids in the League cup and get some semblance of a victory there. Good luck to ya!
From eliotot on Thu Aug 28 01:31PM
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Sav - unfortunately you can't have a full view on every player outside of the premiership, yeah I have seen videos on youtube and on other sites but that is not to say i would look at a video of Karl Poborsky scoring with a lob in Euro 96 and immediately get the cheque book out.
Im looking for peoples genuine opinions and not smart assed comments!
From kevin1985kane on Thu Aug 28 01:31PM
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Ziaddina read the article again and you will see that ED is not saying Gerrard will come back from surgery a better player, but that by him having surgery it means the English midfield will have a proper shape rather than putting square pegs in round holes i.e. Lampard attacks, Barry holds and the wingers are actual wingers!
From sikka316 on Thu Aug 28 01:31PM
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