Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Early Doors

Wee man for West Ham?

Mon Sep 08 09:04AM

Gianfranco Zola We may not see a week as downright barmy as the last one for a long time, but there is still plenty of scope for fun to be had.

The simple equation of international week + two managerial vacancies = plenty of speculation and conjecture to get stuck into.

It might not quite be a power-crazed oil magnate bursting onto the scene and throwing his money around like Michael Jackson's shopping trip with Martin Bashir, but the prospect of Gianfranco Zola becoming the next West Ham manager is still guaranteed to rock the house.

The loveable horseface has emerged as the top candidate on the Hammers' shortlist, which also includes fellow Italian Roberto Donadoni and former Getafe boss Michael Laudrup.

Croatia boss Slaven Bilic has ruled himself out of the running, declaring himself too busy planning Wednesday's 2-1 defeat of England to go for an interview.

The tingle of excitement ED gets every time it imagines Zola returning to these shores is, however, tempered with trepidation. The pocket magician would be merely the latest in a long line of ex-players putting their god-like status in jeopardy by moving into management.

As much as the current Italy Under-21 boss was dazzling on the pitch, can he instil the discipline needed to manage a group of filthy-rich young players? Being on the end of a Zola rollocking would probably be more hand-dryer than hairdryer.

Or, much like Glenn Hoddle, the wee Sardinian would become frustrated all too easily with his players because he would still be more talented than most of them. Unless he has a penchant for faith healers or criticising the disabled, however, that's where the similarity ends.

The same could be said for Laudrup, a player so good he won La Liga with both Barcelona and Real Madrid. The Dane should consult his brother, Brian, before moving to London, as his brother had a less than successful spell in the capital with Chelsea.

As for the other man in the frame, having already managed another team that have won the World Cup but is now over-reliant on a top goalkeeper and a big striker, Roberto Donadoni could fit right in at Upton Park.

Meanwhile, the Newcastle hierarchy are unlikely to see the same glut of candidates ready to take up the St James' hot seat, with even former owner Freddie Shepherd highlighting the ridiculous pressure heaped on every Magpies boss. He should know, he's canned a few in his time.

Toon executive director Dennis "Cutty" Wise isn't really the sort of guy many top class coaches want to work under, especially following the news that, when Kevin Keegan asked him "Who or what is a Xisco?", Wise told him to go look up his new signing on Youtube to get better acquainted with him.

Wise has proven his ability to cast a long shadow for such a short man. Toon owner Mike Ashley should just dispense with the executive director role - pioneered in this country by the likes of Ron Atkinson - and give Wisey the job. After things didn't work out with the Messiah, they may as well try the anti-Christ.    

- - -

The Premier League may have been turned on it's head over the past seven days, but little has changed on the England side of things, as Our Boys laboured to a 2-0 win over Andorra, Fabio Capello's first competitive match in charge.

To be fair, even the best teams would find it hard to break through 11 men behind the ball from the word go, had the knives already been Capello a la McClaren then that match could well have been the last straw.

As there were no highlights shown anywhere, we'll have to pool our collective memories of the match at the Olympic Stadium from the one look we had at it. Ed remembers (in no particular order):

* John Terry's foul throw (a great achievement, seeing as nobody ever seems to be called up for in the professional game, no matter how bad it is)

* Andorra defender Lima's ball-juggling and clearance from his own corner flag when being pressured by Theo Walcott, which instantly became the greatest moment in Andorran football history

* The crowd chanting "We hate S*****a" before the first boos began to ring out around the half-hour mark

And, er, that's it.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND - "I can tell Mr Capello, he can try coaching Andorra and I will try coaching England - and I am sure that we will beat Andorra by more than 2-0!" - Andorra boss David Rodrigo still manages to bullishly goad England despite their defeat in Barcelona.

TALKING POINT - ED's suspicions that asking people to donate money to charity for their comments being published has led directly to a drop in comment quality is summed up well by samuelbanks: "ED this idea of paying money to charity to have their comments read out is all well and good but spare a thought for the peole who are penniless and work in tescos. how about you also mention a comment from one other non charitable soul. Otherwise people are going to put even less effort into their contibutions to the posts." Come on guys, you can all do better.

Today - What did you make of the home nation's results at the weekend? And, with directors of football, over-controlling boards and crazy Arabs on spending sprees, is the role of the humble manager becoming redundant?

COMING UP - The Three Lions juggernaut rolled out of Andorra at roughly the same time as the riders of the Vuelta a Espana. Follow the riders on Stage Nine today from 11:30 BST here.  

And, believe it or not, but Andy Murray is in the US Open final. He's already beaten the best player in the world, now can he beat the best of all time to claim his first Grand Slam? Find out here tonight from 22:00 BST.  

  1. 666 all bow down

    bencornelius23From bencornelius23 on Mon Sep 08 10:00PM

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  2. 666 all bow down

    bencornelius23From bencornelius23 on Mon Sep 08 10:00PM

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  3. 666!!!!

    bencornelius23From bencornelius23 on Mon Sep 08 10:00PM

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  4. ben: cmon, who needs cups and bras? I mean, they were all burned in the 60's, gotta get with the times man ;)

    there's even such a thing as "smooth as a babies bottom" nowadays, keep up will ya

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:01PM

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  5. you sucl

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:02PM

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  6. Hows rusty boy these days sam. Are you bringing him back to Australia.
    Murray match is starting now but i can't get it on the TV U. Typical.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 10:02PM

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  7. that was obviously a typo

    i cant even spell suck dammit

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:02PM

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  8. Geelong are all over St. Kilda running harder, tackling harder and kicking better 53-14 now. It strikes me that some these fellers would make great goalkeepers for soccer.
    Bencornelius cut the creepy talk about breasts. It's obvious that you were bottle-fed and feel deprived. Kantong writes a mean hexameter, you just smutty @#$%.

    james_ssmithFrom james_ssmith on Mon Sep 08 10:04PM

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  9. sam do you know where to get the tennis.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 10:04PM

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  10. ur spleling scuks

    rob_snaithFrom rob_snaith on Mon Sep 08 10:04PM

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  11. rusty is a bit sick at the moment samuel :( he has a bit of an allergic reaction going on - problem is, he is also allergic to the medicine for it

    Not going to take him to australia cause apparently the time difference reduces their lifespan somewhat and he is partly my ex's cat too; so I couldnt do that to him... its complicated ;) but lets say he is a french cat so he belongs here... sniff sniff :(

    yeah TVU sucks for the tennis - did you try Star?

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:04PM

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  12. oh i thought you were telling me to suckle! wot size breasts were you blessed with then samone?

    bencornelius23From bencornelius23 on Mon Sep 08 10:04PM

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  13. Yes! Eurosport has it.
    Bencornelius, samone is more of a woman than you will ever get, and by the sound of her Aussie rules experience, more of a man than you will ever be.
    That's it I'm going to watch tennis and then turn itno a bat. Goodnight all!

    james_ssmithFrom james_ssmith on Mon Sep 08 10:08PM

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  14. try this one samuel: it works really well

    http://fr.justin.tv/eminem152ndpage

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:09PM

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  15. tahnkz beri mush bob :-P cheeky sod :-P

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:10PM

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  16. by james you manly hunk you

    bencornelius23From bencornelius23 on Mon Sep 08 10:10PM

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  17. Typical, ben's talking about breasts. Shame about rusty sam. Is it serious. He's not an old cat is he? I got the tennis on cctv-5 last night but its bloddy shooting thats on now. james do you know where to watch the murray match online.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 10:11PM

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  18. i have you down as a 34 c samone

    bencornelius23From bencornelius23 on Mon Sep 08 10:11PM

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  19. definitely smaller than my hat size ben ;) and yet larger than sienna surfboard miller

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:12PM

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  20. thanks james watch out for the joker out there in gotham city ;)

    catch ya

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:13PM

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  21. Sam's is working but a bit jumpy for me Samuel. That's the problem with pinching broadband tho!

    rob_snaithFrom rob_snaith on Mon Sep 08 10:14PM

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  22. well samuel, it makes me sad to see him itchy but he seems to be ok and all - he just keeps licking the creme off though :-P he's just turned 2 years old this week - cute hey? :D i should make him a tuna pie

    try that link I sent ya - it works a charm

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:15PM

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  23. BBC Sport has it, Samuel

    james_ssmithFrom james_ssmith on Mon Sep 08 10:15PM

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  24. aaaaaah assumption is the mother of all fcukups as they say, ben

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:16PM

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  25. thanks sam i found the match, bit stuttery but better than nothing.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 10:18PM

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  26. bbc only has the radio commentary

    rob_snaithFrom rob_snaith on Mon Sep 08 10:19PM

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  27. yeah my broadband is kickàss

    I used to pinch the neighbours though before I got this wireless one

    in my house I got three laptops and one fixed computer running off the modem, plus the tv and the telephone (part of my internet "box")- and it still runs perfect graphics/speed

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:19PM

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  28. Are u sure james. BBC tv . I thought it was just radio.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 10:22PM

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  29. Is your cat only 2 sam. mine are just 2. rusty is alot bigger than my little dwarfs. you would think i didn't feed them but they never stop filling their faces. must be genetic. it'll take me to next week to watch this match what with all the stuttering and freezing.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 10:29PM

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  30. yeah bummer - i'll try to find you some other link

    mine doesnt actually eat that much - but the vet said that he is the nicest cat he has ever met.. when we took him to the vet the other day, he was giving the vet "cuddles" and was calmly sitting and watching all the dogs in the waiting room while they were all going spastic ;) he is a very cool, calm and collected cat that likes a loooooooot of affection

    he spends most of his time on my lap - like he is right now ;)

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:31PM

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