Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Early Doors

Wee man for West Ham?

Mon Sep 08 09:04AM

Gianfranco Zola We may not see a week as downright barmy as the last one for a long time, but there is still plenty of scope for fun to be had.

The simple equation of international week + two managerial vacancies = plenty of speculation and conjecture to get stuck into.

It might not quite be a power-crazed oil magnate bursting onto the scene and throwing his money around like Michael Jackson's shopping trip with Martin Bashir, but the prospect of Gianfranco Zola becoming the next West Ham manager is still guaranteed to rock the house.

The loveable horseface has emerged as the top candidate on the Hammers' shortlist, which also includes fellow Italian Roberto Donadoni and former Getafe boss Michael Laudrup.

Croatia boss Slaven Bilic has ruled himself out of the running, declaring himself too busy planning Wednesday's 2-1 defeat of England to go for an interview.

The tingle of excitement ED gets every time it imagines Zola returning to these shores is, however, tempered with trepidation. The pocket magician would be merely the latest in a long line of ex-players putting their god-like status in jeopardy by moving into management.

As much as the current Italy Under-21 boss was dazzling on the pitch, can he instil the discipline needed to manage a group of filthy-rich young players? Being on the end of a Zola rollocking would probably be more hand-dryer than hairdryer.

Or, much like Glenn Hoddle, the wee Sardinian would become frustrated all too easily with his players because he would still be more talented than most of them. Unless he has a penchant for faith healers or criticising the disabled, however, that's where the similarity ends.

The same could be said for Laudrup, a player so good he won La Liga with both Barcelona and Real Madrid. The Dane should consult his brother, Brian, before moving to London, as his brother had a less than successful spell in the capital with Chelsea.

As for the other man in the frame, having already managed another team that have won the World Cup but is now over-reliant on a top goalkeeper and a big striker, Roberto Donadoni could fit right in at Upton Park.

Meanwhile, the Newcastle hierarchy are unlikely to see the same glut of candidates ready to take up the St James' hot seat, with even former owner Freddie Shepherd highlighting the ridiculous pressure heaped on every Magpies boss. He should know, he's canned a few in his time.

Toon executive director Dennis "Cutty" Wise isn't really the sort of guy many top class coaches want to work under, especially following the news that, when Kevin Keegan asked him "Who or what is a Xisco?", Wise told him to go look up his new signing on Youtube to get better acquainted with him.

Wise has proven his ability to cast a long shadow for such a short man. Toon owner Mike Ashley should just dispense with the executive director role - pioneered in this country by the likes of Ron Atkinson - and give Wisey the job. After things didn't work out with the Messiah, they may as well try the anti-Christ.    

- - -

The Premier League may have been turned on it's head over the past seven days, but little has changed on the England side of things, as Our Boys laboured to a 2-0 win over Andorra, Fabio Capello's first competitive match in charge.

To be fair, even the best teams would find it hard to break through 11 men behind the ball from the word go, had the knives already been Capello a la McClaren then that match could well have been the last straw.

As there were no highlights shown anywhere, we'll have to pool our collective memories of the match at the Olympic Stadium from the one look we had at it. Ed remembers (in no particular order):

* John Terry's foul throw (a great achievement, seeing as nobody ever seems to be called up for in the professional game, no matter how bad it is)

* Andorra defender Lima's ball-juggling and clearance from his own corner flag when being pressured by Theo Walcott, which instantly became the greatest moment in Andorran football history

* The crowd chanting "We hate S*****a" before the first boos began to ring out around the half-hour mark

And, er, that's it.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND - "I can tell Mr Capello, he can try coaching Andorra and I will try coaching England - and I am sure that we will beat Andorra by more than 2-0!" - Andorra boss David Rodrigo still manages to bullishly goad England despite their defeat in Barcelona.

TALKING POINT - ED's suspicions that asking people to donate money to charity for their comments being published has led directly to a drop in comment quality is summed up well by samuelbanks: "ED this idea of paying money to charity to have their comments read out is all well and good but spare a thought for the peole who are penniless and work in tescos. how about you also mention a comment from one other non charitable soul. Otherwise people are going to put even less effort into their contibutions to the posts." Come on guys, you can all do better.

Today - What did you make of the home nation's results at the weekend? And, with directors of football, over-controlling boards and crazy Arabs on spending sprees, is the role of the humble manager becoming redundant?

COMING UP - The Three Lions juggernaut rolled out of Andorra at roughly the same time as the riders of the Vuelta a Espana. Follow the riders on Stage Nine today from 11:30 BST here.  

And, believe it or not, but Andy Murray is in the US Open final. He's already beaten the best player in the world, now can he beat the best of all time to claim his first Grand Slam? Find out here tonight from 22:00 BST.  

  1. What kind of luck are you hanging out for KS been meaning to ask you all day :-)

    arttidescoFrom arttidesco on Mon Sep 08 10:33PM

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  2. My female cat snores like a human. is that normal .

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 10:37PM

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  3. http://es.justin.tv/colosodejodas

    this is a spanish one samuel - maybe runs quicker

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:37PM

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  4. i'll try that sam cheers

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 10:38PM

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  5. HAHAHAHAHA snores - mine does too I thought I was the only one blessed with a snoring cat

    artti: well, initially i dressed up liKe this cause i had bought a ticket in euromillions - but it didnt work - now i need luck for my plane trip, cause I got my ticket from Qantas, and I dont know if you have noticed lately but their planes have been having a few "issues"... ;) i can do with all the luck I can get

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:39PM

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  6. its just gone to ads samuel, in case you are wondering ;)

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:41PM

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  7. this commentator is turning me on with all his spanish actually

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:43PM

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  8. Ooooooh the 700

    I was ordained Queen without even realising

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:45PM

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  9. This match looks omonous. murray getting a bit wasted at the minute. yeah cats are strange creatures. mine make some odd sounds when they're sleeping.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 10:49PM

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  10. Is that a better link sam-the one that is turning you on a bit. Just out of interest sam you can tell me to f off if you want but are you big, small, petite ?

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 10:53PM

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  11. not looking good for murray at all

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:54PM

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  12. it seems to be running really well for me this link samuel in any case

    I dont mind - I'm pretty average hey, about 167cms (170-172 in high heels), 58 kilos, (59 or so when I go for a binge on potato crisps) and I have blackish sorta hair and green eyes

    what about you samuel? I kind of imagine you to be tall for some reason - not Crouchy spiderman kind of tall, but reasonably tall still - dunno why

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 10:59PM

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  13. Have i told nikyates to shut it yet. SHUT YOUR FACE NIKYATES. sorry sam i just had to.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 10:59PM

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  14. dont apologise to me, apologise to all the little kiddies out there in the world (who have not already been previously offended/corrupted/disgusted by the content on this blog) who may be reading your posts samuel ;)

    It just makes me laugh

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:01PM

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  15. SHUT YOUR FACE NIKYATES!!!

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:02PM

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  16. oh joy

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:02PM

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  17. whatever happened to Rob? did he nick off without saying au revoir the rude little bàstard? :-P cheeky!

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:05PM

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  18. Yeah 6 ft dead on, with shoes maybe 6,1. Im slim, but too slim in my opinion. I would like to put on a bit of weight but no matter how much i eat i never do. I was just engrossed in the match there. it was going through a non stutery period but its fcked again. I only after tripping on a rug there. it was quite funny actually. you must think i spend my life fallin over stuff.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:07PM

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  19. I think the Quantas thing might have come over a bit hyped because it was the annual news drought way back when the chances of a fatality only came up after flying 2.5 million miles or so flying has become a lot safer except in Africa and some roguish countries like Turkey, you'll get home fine :-)

    Just been offered a share of 24,500,000 dollars ( twenty four million five hundred thousand ) by a generous Mr Wong :-)

    I wonder if all these dudes really believe I am Dan Quayle Vice President of the United States of America living at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC - tel (202) 456-1414‎ :-)

    arttidescoFrom arttidesco on Mon Sep 08 11:09PM

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  20. Kantong's breasts has me reaching for the tissues

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:10PM

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  21. haha im spacially handicapped also samuel so I will not hold that against you

    im always covered in bruises and @#$%

    thats kind of how i imagined you - see the internet is not all that misleading

    although maybe you pictured me as a 3foot high dwarf with an obesity problem, who knows

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:11PM

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  22. 2nd set looks like Murray is going to attempt to go down fighting :-)

    arttidescoFrom arttidesco on Mon Sep 08 11:13PM

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  23. nice one artti

    I forward the "viagra" ones to the "generous family heritage dudes" with my "secret alias email address" that I only use for spam

    i'll have to give your idea a try

    hey, if I dont get home, I have a kick àss life insurance, so my Mum's going to be pretty happy

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:13PM

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  24. I dream about Kantong's breasts

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:19PM

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  25. and Roxy's and Claire's

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:19PM

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  26. they are not that special, really

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:20PM

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  27. NIKYATES IS PAULA

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:20PM

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  28. BEN IS A @#$%

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:20PM

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  29. JUDE IS A @#$%

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:21PM

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  30. ART IS A @#$%

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:21PM

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