Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Early Doors

Wee man for West Ham?

Mon Sep 08 09:04AM

Gianfranco Zola We may not see a week as downright barmy as the last one for a long time, but there is still plenty of scope for fun to be had.

The simple equation of international week + two managerial vacancies = plenty of speculation and conjecture to get stuck into.

It might not quite be a power-crazed oil magnate bursting onto the scene and throwing his money around like Michael Jackson's shopping trip with Martin Bashir, but the prospect of Gianfranco Zola becoming the next West Ham manager is still guaranteed to rock the house.

The loveable horseface has emerged as the top candidate on the Hammers' shortlist, which also includes fellow Italian Roberto Donadoni and former Getafe boss Michael Laudrup.

Croatia boss Slaven Bilic has ruled himself out of the running, declaring himself too busy planning Wednesday's 2-1 defeat of England to go for an interview.

The tingle of excitement ED gets every time it imagines Zola returning to these shores is, however, tempered with trepidation. The pocket magician would be merely the latest in a long line of ex-players putting their god-like status in jeopardy by moving into management.

As much as the current Italy Under-21 boss was dazzling on the pitch, can he instil the discipline needed to manage a group of filthy-rich young players? Being on the end of a Zola rollocking would probably be more hand-dryer than hairdryer.

Or, much like Glenn Hoddle, the wee Sardinian would become frustrated all too easily with his players because he would still be more talented than most of them. Unless he has a penchant for faith healers or criticising the disabled, however, that's where the similarity ends.

The same could be said for Laudrup, a player so good he won La Liga with both Barcelona and Real Madrid. The Dane should consult his brother, Brian, before moving to London, as his brother had a less than successful spell in the capital with Chelsea.

As for the other man in the frame, having already managed another team that have won the World Cup but is now over-reliant on a top goalkeeper and a big striker, Roberto Donadoni could fit right in at Upton Park.

Meanwhile, the Newcastle hierarchy are unlikely to see the same glut of candidates ready to take up the St James' hot seat, with even former owner Freddie Shepherd highlighting the ridiculous pressure heaped on every Magpies boss. He should know, he's canned a few in his time.

Toon executive director Dennis "Cutty" Wise isn't really the sort of guy many top class coaches want to work under, especially following the news that, when Kevin Keegan asked him "Who or what is a Xisco?", Wise told him to go look up his new signing on Youtube to get better acquainted with him.

Wise has proven his ability to cast a long shadow for such a short man. Toon owner Mike Ashley should just dispense with the executive director role - pioneered in this country by the likes of Ron Atkinson - and give Wisey the job. After things didn't work out with the Messiah, they may as well try the anti-Christ.    

- - -

The Premier League may have been turned on it's head over the past seven days, but little has changed on the England side of things, as Our Boys laboured to a 2-0 win over Andorra, Fabio Capello's first competitive match in charge.

To be fair, even the best teams would find it hard to break through 11 men behind the ball from the word go, had the knives already been Capello a la McClaren then that match could well have been the last straw.

As there were no highlights shown anywhere, we'll have to pool our collective memories of the match at the Olympic Stadium from the one look we had at it. Ed remembers (in no particular order):

* John Terry's foul throw (a great achievement, seeing as nobody ever seems to be called up for in the professional game, no matter how bad it is)

* Andorra defender Lima's ball-juggling and clearance from his own corner flag when being pressured by Theo Walcott, which instantly became the greatest moment in Andorran football history

* The crowd chanting "We hate S*****a" before the first boos began to ring out around the half-hour mark

And, er, that's it.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND - "I can tell Mr Capello, he can try coaching Andorra and I will try coaching England - and I am sure that we will beat Andorra by more than 2-0!" - Andorra boss David Rodrigo still manages to bullishly goad England despite their defeat in Barcelona.

TALKING POINT - ED's suspicions that asking people to donate money to charity for their comments being published has led directly to a drop in comment quality is summed up well by samuelbanks: "ED this idea of paying money to charity to have their comments read out is all well and good but spare a thought for the peole who are penniless and work in tescos. how about you also mention a comment from one other non charitable soul. Otherwise people are going to put even less effort into their contibutions to the posts." Come on guys, you can all do better.

Today - What did you make of the home nation's results at the weekend? And, with directors of football, over-controlling boards and crazy Arabs on spending sprees, is the role of the humble manager becoming redundant?

COMING UP - The Three Lions juggernaut rolled out of Andorra at roughly the same time as the riders of the Vuelta a Espana. Follow the riders on Stage Nine today from 11:30 BST here.  

And, believe it or not, but Andy Murray is in the US Open final. He's already beaten the best player in the world, now can he beat the best of all time to claim his first Grand Slam? Find out here tonight from 22:00 BST.  

  1. KEVIN IS A @#$%

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:22PM

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  2. If you confided to Sigmund Freud that you had dreamed about breasts, he would be likely to suggest that you have an unhealthy attachment to your mother, imposter boy

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:22PM

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  3. sameul imposter aka nikyates-go drown yourself in your toilet pal. i've no time for your immaturity.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:22PM

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  4. I'll take you like you've never been taken before

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:23PM

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  5. where?

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:24PM

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  6. that is my imposter sam. just in case you were wondering.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:25PM

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  7. Im not really a breast man anyway imposter boy/nikyates.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:27PM

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  8. oh no - i now samuel

    im just curious as to where he will be taking me - I hope wherever it is they have cable tv - cant miss the game this weekend

    never been to polynesia before - how bout it, imposterboy? can ya put your money where your mouth is? ;)

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:28PM

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  9. samuel is not a breast man he is a bum man

    benhornlustFrom benhornlust on Mon Sep 08 11:29PM

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  10. I'll take you LIKE you've never been taken before

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:29PM

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  11. sam you stay up very late girl. did you get a good rest last night.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:30PM

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  12. like, where, how, its all the same innit?

    so where we going imposterboy? Better be first class, I'm not cheap you know

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:30PM

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  13. I'm a student but soon I will be rich then I'll take you where you want and how you want

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:31PM

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  14. samuel: i always stay up late I am an insomniac

    imposter: I am rich already - I dont need a boy's money to make me happy ;)

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:32PM

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  15. i will feed you a bottle of wine and put you in coach. you wouldn't know the difference

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:34PM

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  16. im actually doing some writing at the same time here samuel

    Im writing a book ;) and so I spend all my free time on my compùter - getting a bit sick of it tonight though

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:34PM

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  17. yeah ben hornlust i am a bum man. nikyates is benhornlust aswell. what a @#$%. Federer has taken the second set. murray's finished.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:34PM

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  18. ;)

    sameulbanksFrom sameulbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:35PM

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  19. depends. Is that a greyhound coach?

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:35PM

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  20. yep its all over - fatlumpolard is singing in his shower as we speak

    fat lady

    Im definitely a bum girl - love a nice tight pair of buns in a pair of spunky jeans

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:37PM

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  21. If i don't get 8-10 hours of sleep im just no good for anything. i really need my sleep. i don't know how u do it. r the freaks still about?

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:37PM

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  22. Im reading his comments now and thinking , did i write that. must be getting tired. i might turn in sam.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:40PM

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  23. yeah dunno how I do it either - sometimes I'm very tired, but my mind is very overactive and I just cant sleep - bit hyperactive

    I love a good sleep in on the weekend though when I can - doesnt happen often, but when I do I'll sleep 16 hours straight sometimes

    strange

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:42PM

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  24. yeah im off too actually - have a good one samuel ;)

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:43PM

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  25. give slinky and bella a pat from me next time ya see em

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:45PM

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  26. We do seem to have loads in common sam. like cats, green eyes , dark hair, bum people-that sounded a bit weird, an somthing else we got in common-is it we like writing? Anyway im going to have to say nite sam. as always it was great chattin with you. And if anybody wants to take the piss out of me 2morrow feel free. im always available for a slagging 24/7.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:47PM

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  27. yeah agreed samuel

    have a good one speak to you tomorrow maybe!

    kantong_woksterFrom kantong_wokster on Mon Sep 08 11:48PM

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  28. Yeah cya sam and shut your face nikyates.

    samuelbanksFrom samuelbanks on Mon Sep 08 11:51PM

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