Sing when you're winning
Mon May 19 08:52AM
Welsh pluck v English savoir-faire, fresh-faced enthusiasm v stony-faced professionalism, the unbridled optimism of youth v the hardened pragmatism of age.
With the benefit of hindsight there was only ever going to be one winner at Wembley on Saturday and so it proved, with the vertiginously-cleavaged Lesley Garrett comfortably out-trilling alluring Thunderbird-alike Welsh counterpart Katherine Jenkins in the pre-match Battle of the Sopranos that masqueraded as a duet of Abide With Me.
Come the match and it was more of the same, with Cardiff's early promise slowly undone by the irresistible muscularity of their opponents and Kanu maintaining the proud tradition of underwhelming cup final winners by shinning home from three yards after narrowly failing to score one of the great cup final goals of all-time.
Over at Sky Sports everyone seemed in agreement that this was "a great day for the Redknapp family", with the teeth-gratingly ubiquitous Jamie Redknapp fulsomely lavishing praise on his old man in a manner that would make you think the Redknapps now occupy a place somewhere between the Windsors and the Osbournes in the league table of Britain's Favourite Families.
Far be it from Early Doors to pour scorn on the Redknapp love-in, but the miraculous transformation of Portsmouth from Championship bottom-feeders to Premier League also-rans/FA Cup winners probably owes as much (if not more) to the millions of Milan Mandaric and Alexandre Gaydamak as it does to the hangdog motivational charms of Our 'Arry.
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While we're on the subject of Clan Redknapp, ED would be interested to hear how Redknapp Jnr's perpetual presence on Sky's football programmes ties in with the channel's commitment to impartiality.
You may argue that his family connections in the game make him the ideal foil for Richard Keys's hairy-handed straight man, in which case ED looks forward to the day when Sky News invite George W. Bush's daughter Barbara to provide impartial commentary on the War on Terror.
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Some say sport is all about winning. Others will say it's the taking part that counts. But for ED there's no greater sight than a multi-million pound athlete being placed under so much pressure that his limbs begin to feel like mysterious foreign entities and he chokes when it matters most.
From Jean van de Velde wading into the Barry Burn at Carnoustie in 1999 to Gareth Southgate presenting Andreas Kopke with the meekest back-pass he'd ever received in the Euro 96 semi-final penalty shootout, there's nothing better than an elite athlete being rendered blinkingly, falteringly human by the sudden realisation that it's all down to him.
Which is why ED was somewhat dismayed to see perennial chokers Internazionale surprise everyone by holding their nerve to seal the Serie A title on the last day of the Italian season yesterday.
With half an hour of the season remaining Inter were being held 0-0 at Parma, meaning Mirko Vucinic's goal for Roma at Catania looked like it was going to be enough to secure the Scudetto.
And then on came everyone's favourite flat-track bully Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who dispatched two wonderfully taken goals to further fuel the sweaty-palmed fantasies of every teenage football connoisseur in Europe and land Inter their third-straight Serie A crown.
And speaking of sweaty-palmed fantasies, ED will be lost this summer without its weekly dose of Laura Esposto from Channel Five's Football Italiano.
The model-cum-presenter may veer towards the Ian Wright side of the punditry knowledge spectrum, but never before has ‘Empoli due, Livorno uno' sounded quite so achingly beautiful.
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FOREIGN VIEW: With their indefatigable zeal and impeccably choreographed pitchside encouragements, Japanese football supporters have taken the very best of British football fandom and run with it. Which is why we probably shouldn't be surprised that Asian champions Urawa Reds are facing sanctions after crowd violence marred their 3-2 victory at Gambo Osaka on the final day of the J-League season.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: Cristiano Ronaldo suggests that all those end-of-season awards might just be starting to go to his head: "When I hear it said that I do not play well against the big teams, it does not annoy me because I know I am the best." That's the same Cristiano Ronaldo who has averaged the grand sum of 0.00 goals per game in his nine matches to date against Champions League final opponents Chelsea.
TALKING POINT: Who's your favourite sporting choker? ED has always had a soft spot for Bernhard Langer, if only because it used to think putting infliction 'The Yips' would have made a great name for a late-90s nu-punk rock band.
If you're struggling for inspiration, here's a story from the archives to refresh your memory.
COMING UP: Around the World in 80 Goals, all the build-up as the hyperbole machine kicks into over-drive ahead of the Champions League final and you can watch the people of St Mirren opening their arms to those delightful Rangers fans with live coverage of St Mirren v Rangers from 19:45 BST.
Manderic and Gaydamak's millions might certainly have helped Portsmouth but we've seen time and time again how big budget's can be wasted. Arry at least made some decent purchasing decisions (apart from Nungent) and managed to win some silverware....
Well done Pompey!
From stephenjadamson on Mon May 19 09:01AMBiggest choker? Surely it's got to be 'Tiger' Tim Henman! Although, to be fair to the lad, he's never actually been any good. His problem was always the weight of inexplicable expectation forced onto his shoulders by the hordes of Tarquins and Tabithas and all the bottom-feeders who set up camp on 'Henman Hill' to shout "Come on Timmy!!" like its going to help an average player who was so clearly punching above his weight at best.
From kevmun82 on Mon May 19 09:13AMSporting choker...
Paula Radcliffe? We'll find out in a few months if she can shake that one
From g_hine on Mon May 19 09:22AMFavourite, in the sense of I wish they wouldn't choke - Ana Ivanovic and Jelena Jankovic in Grand Slam tournaments. I have a feeling this year Maria Sharapova will eat one of them of both of them alive at Roland Garros and the Williams sisters at Wimbledon.
In cricket, Mike Brearley for never getting a ton in a test. What was that nonsense about waking up one day in Pakistan after being overnight in the 90's and feeling "it just wasn't on?".
In football it has to be Gary Lineker. Lots of goals, but never one when it truly mattered.
From james_ssmith on Mon May 19 09:29AMI'd have to agree with the chioce of "Tiger" Timmy Henman as the biggest choker, although young Lewis Hamilton has started his career in the same vein. Time will tell on that one.
From bevan_alex on Mon May 19 09:37AMVintage stuff the whole 'Redknapp family outing' wasn't it?!? Fair play to Harry, I'm happy he has won the cup and got a bit of overdue silverware and respect - whilst also vindicating his decision to say no to Newcastle. However, to bleat on about it being a fantastic day for his family and his grandson and his wife and his son and his cousin and his auntie and all the other Redknapps, whilst making a passing reference to the actual effort of the players and what it means to them, is a bit of a joke! 'This was all for Sandra' - I think Kanu may have scored the goal for himself and to win the cup for the team, but thats only my opinion! Biggest choker in sport - Jimmy White without a doubt!! Mega talent, no bottle
From agentblue_99 on Mon May 19 09:40AMFirstly, congratulations Portsmouth, I think the play over the last couple of seasons means they fully deserve their place in Europe and the silverware.
That said (and bear in mind that I only caught the second half on Sat), I was thoroughly disappointed by the shamelessly defensive play adopted by Pompey. They were clearly the more skilled side, yet they guarded that 1-0 like they were playing Barcelona. There were opportunities for this to be a great FA Cup Final, but there was absolutely no adventure in it.
I bet many people who were slating Rangers last week for the same sort of style will be out praising Portsmouth’s victory today, but at least English football’s “the best in the world"…
From not_blonde_really on Mon May 19 09:45AMcongrats to pompey
England team at penalty shoot out. they are the real chokers
From toksonice on Mon May 19 09:53AMWoe betide the repercussions if St. Mirren are actually audacious enough to draw or (heaven forbid) actually win against Rangers tonight. The title will be decided in Aberdeen, where i live. Don't think i'll be leaving the house on Thursday night, whatever the result. An Aberdeen-Rangers match WITHOUT any importance is bad enough, but a title decider? Think of the children.....
Come on the Buddies!!
From kevmun82 on Mon May 19 09:56AMMichael Hutchence - well it is a sport isnt it
From lazyass_002 on Mon May 19 09:58AMTalking of 'sporting' chokers, remember the 95-96 season of Newcastle??? Well still waiting on their king Keegan to remake them Premier league contenders.
Asafa Powell is the world record holder over 100 m (9.74"). His major win? A share of the laureats of the golden league in 2006; no Olympics, no world championship!!! You should have seen him start beautifully ahead at Osaka last year and still get his @55 whipped to third place.
From yawboakye86 on Mon May 19 10:05AMbiggest choke ever must be the skunks (Newcastle) what was it, 12 points up on Man U in March and they lost it, kev would have loved it if he'd beaten them , loved it!
From martsssss on Mon May 19 10:06AMkevmun82,
unfortunatly i dont think there is a chance st mirren will get a result tonight. Not because they are gash (which they really are), but because the game means so much to rangers. I can see another bottling ref getting all the big decesions wrong (on purpose, of course), sad, but its a fact.
having said that come on st mirren!! Celtic also need to be careful and worry about their own game, a trip to fortress tannadice is always tricky, especially with united pumped up after the rangers/mccurry farce.
From marcgrant7 on Mon May 19 10:07AMOK, time to send the feline into the dovecot. I would define a "choker" as someone who really should have won, and didn't, in which case, what is the feeling about Liverpool at the end of the 80s? Not converting a penalty and losing to Wimbledon in the '88 Final, then throwing away the league at home to Arsenal with the last kick of the following season (fair enough, the pressure was of a different calibre then, after Hillsborough, but still...)
From brendanandkatka on Mon May 19 10:16AMLewis Hamilton led the world championships last year for (we can't remember how long), losing on the last day. What a choker!!!
King James (Cleveland Cavaliers) is one of the best in the NBA today but still no trophies!!! (4get about B'ball being team sport!!)
From yawboakye86 on Mon May 19 10:16AMIn terms of runners anyone recall, David Bedford? World record holder and notevena medal at the olympics
From james_ssmith on Mon May 19 10:18AMRe: today's "foreign view" - I went to see Japan's Urawa Reds play in the Asian Champion's League last year against Sydney FC - and their fans are crazy! Every one of them jumped up and down for the entire 90 minutes - even when they went 2-0 down...talking of sporting chokers though, Sydney managed to fall apart and draw the game 2-2...
From northern_hamster on Mon May 19 10:19AMI never really thought that St. Mirren could do a job on them, but you can live in hope! Although it'll start smelling very fishy if Rangers win 7-0 (coincidentally bringing the goal difference up to even with Celtic) with the Buddies having perfectly good goals chalked off. It will be a very tricky game at Tannadice, but i just can't see Rangers winning at Pittodrie. Aberdeen are the masters of playing brilliant football when it doesn't mean anything!
From kevmun82 on Mon May 19 10:20AMi agree, rangers will find it tough up there, especially with the history and bad feeling between the two teams. always an eventful game!!
i hope you are right, i desperatly want celtic to win the league, but not at the expense of united at tannadice cos we could do with the points!!
i fancy celtic for the league though, they are the better team by some distance, and they will be spurred on by the tommy burns tradegyFrom marcgrant7 on Mon May 19 10:29AMThe greatest chokers of all time in any sport are the All Blacks. Every world cup, bar the inaugural which they won,they have choked on a lesser team. They are rugby's version of the England football team.
From eliotot on Mon May 19 10:30AMBiggest Choker? John Terry in the 2007 Carling Cup final. He swallowed his tongue.
And Henman was not that bad a player, yes he wasn't an all time World great but he did get to 3 Grand Slam semi-finals in one year and was ranked number 4 in the World. Wibledon suited his playing style and he also played when Sampras and then Federer were on the top of their games.From jjss.rm on Mon May 19 10:35AMCome on jjss, the semi-final against Ivanesvic when the Croat's arm was in danger of falling off. It rained. They came back the next day and Henman lost. Not the first time it happened like that for Henman.
From james_ssmith on Mon May 19 10:40AMHere's hoping anyway. Like i said i won't be leaving my house on Thursday night, whatever the result. Jimmy Calderwood has said no matter what happens there'll be conspiracy claims, after what happened when he was in charge of Dunfermline a few years ago. Fair enough, the man can't win! If they beat Rangers there'll be cheating claims, guaranteed! If they lose, the Celtic fans will be claiming they rolled over. What can you do?
E_P_S IS INTERMINABLY BORING
From kevmun82 on Mon May 19 10:49AMPains me to say it, but this season's biggest chokers have to be Arsenal, and Gallas in particular. One bad decision that he doesn't like and he just decides to stop being captain.
Congratulations to Pompey, good to see 'Arry get a trophy finally, but what a dull game! The Rochdale/Doncaster playoff beforehand was more exciting for the neutral!
From godot_isnt_coming on Mon May 19 11:11AMyeah thats true, there is always going to be these claims.
it will be hard for both the old firm to get a result, its arguably the two toughest games they could have got, makes for a good end of season!!
this has for me personally, been the most exciting and dramatic season in a long time, full of incident and surprises, dont want it to end now!!From marcgrant7 on Mon May 19 11:12AMbiggests chokers? South Africa cricket team.
From ddickzim on Mon May 19 11:14AM7 time Order Of Merit # 1 , European Tour legend , no majors , 'king of the foxes' COLIN MONTGOMERIE...Jimmy White takes silver,and all those fckuers who had some @#$% injected into their system deserve bronze
From kingorkafa on Mon May 19 11:40AMBayer Leverkusen the 'Almost Champions'
Here's the extract from Wikipedia:
The team earned a series of top four finishes from 1997 to 2002 that included four second place finishes. The finishes of 2000 and 2002 were heart-breaking for supporters as on both occasions the team had the Bundesliga title within its grasp. In 2000, Bayer Leverkusen needed only a draw against minnows Unterhaching to win the title, but an own goal by Ballack helped send the team to a crushing (0:2) defeat, while Bayern Munich clinched the title with a (3:1) victory over Werder Bremen. Two years later, the club surrendered a five point lead atop the league table by losing two of its last three matches while Borussia Dortmund swept ahead with three consecutive victories in its final matches. The 2002 season has been dubbed the "Treble Horror", as Bayer Leverkusen were also beaten in the German Cup final (2:4) by Schalke 04, and lost the UEFA Champions League final to Real Madrid (1:2). Still, the team earned the honour as the first team ever to reach the UEFA Champions League final without winning a national championship before. They even had to qualify first for the participation in that year's UEFA Champions League.
From gblakeway_11 on Mon May 19 12:01PMYeah-Cristiano Ronaldo is a @#$%. Its official. Did he realy say 'i know i am the best'? He's good in the domestic competitions, but he is utter @#$% in Europe. He knows he's @#$% in the Champions League, so he gets all defensive about it. Cristiano-thanks for your goals @#$%, but do us all a favour now -piss away off to spain. United will survive without you. They survived when Cantona,smeichael,Beckham and keane left-they'll survive without you...you arrogant, self obsessed prik.
From samuelbanks on Mon May 19 12:20PMPictures of Katherine Jenkins are always welcome with me(especially open-mouthed ones). Just a pity that rent-a-mouth Lesley Garrett is also in it. God it's distressing watching her as a guest on a chat show. Counting the seconds for her to suddenly break into opera singing (without being asked, usually) to a gormless audience who then applaud! Really grinds my gears. It's a bit like counting the seconds until Motty mentions '66. Never mind, Katherine makes it all better......
From kevmun82 on Mon May 19 12:25PM
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