Many a slip between cup and lip
Thu May 22 08:52AM
Things looked grim for Manchester United after Cristiano Ronaldo, having shed his big-game bottler tag earlier in the evening, claimed it back with interest and missed his penalty.
Chelsea had one kick to win it, and the only thing that could save United was some good old-fashioned English blood and guts.
They got it in the form of John Terry, who showed once again that having enough courage to take a potentially decisive penalty is only half the battle. The other half is not falling over.
Penalties are not a lottery - it is one of football's most enduring and irritating myths. The match itself is much more a game of chance.
Football is a complex sport that is affected by the referee's decisions, the weather, the state of the pitch and countless unforeseen factors.
By contrast, penalties are the ultimate laboratory experiment, carried out under controlled conditions. Nothing could be less like a lottery (except perhaps Holly Willoughby).
That is not to say shootouts can't be decided by fine margins, but ultimately if you hit the outside of the post there's not much chance of the ball ending up in the back of the net.
Having seen 21 other players slip over an average of 3.64 times per minute for each of the previous 120, Terry might have known to watch his footing.
This sort of misfortune only befalls Englishmen. It recalled David Beckham's misses against Turkey (lost footing and blazed over, blamed pitch) and Portugal (blazed over, blamed defective penalty spot).
No such excuses for those of German stock, as Michael Ballack and Owen Hargreaves (sorry, but he is) buried their kicks, as did the Latin American contingent of Carlos Tevez, Anderson and Juliano Belletti.
History is written by the winners. Everyone will forget two hours of shockingly bad goalkeeping from Edwin van der Sar and focus on the moment he went from zero to hero, while there is instant redemption for Carlos Tevez, Michael Carrick and Ryan Giggs for their missed sitters.
You can say it was fate for United to win on the 50th anniversary of the Munich air crash, led up the steps by Bobby Charlton on the day Giggs broke his appearances record for the club.
But it would also have been 'fate' had Terry, Frank Lampard or Didier Drogba hit the net instead of the woodwork; if Roman Abramovich had won on home turf.
- - -
The presentation ceremony showed in a nutshell why most English fans dislike United but despise Chelsea, neatly encapsulating the difference between new money and old.
The winners were led up by Charlton, a legend for club and country and a man of such quiet dignity he wouldn't even put on his medal.
A minute or two earlier, the tearful John Terry had to traipse up behind the loathsome Peter Kenyon - a living, breathing, smirking incarnation of all that is commercial and tacky in the modern game.
Kenyon made his name as United's chief executive before jumping ship to Chelsea, where he is paid considerably more to make grandiose yet meaningless statements about turning the club into a world brand.
Publicity Pete mark II seized his moment, glad-handing all and sundry with a jaunty grin, robbing the distraught Terry of his last shred of dignity.
When a soaking, hangdog Avram Grant eventually went up, Michel Platini handed him two medals. The second can only have been for Jose Mourinho, who oversaw the early part of Chelsea's European campaign.
A conscientious sort, Grant clearly put it away for safekeeping to send to Mourinho later. So what did ED see him chucking into the crowd moments later?
(And yes, ED knows it was Drogba's. But still, can't blame Avram for getting rid of it.)
- - -
Being a continental showpiece, everyone seemed excessively concerned what foreign viewers might think.
It was generally agreed that they would appreciate both teams' commitment and hard work, despite a general lack of technique and tactical nous.
It was like they were talking about a crunch Conference North game between Leigh RMI and Blyth Spartans - even Sky were at it.
How peculiar that those people most responsible for hyping the Premier League to within an inch of its life would fall victim to such circumspection.
Presumably it is hard to see the wood for the trees when you spend your life pretending Wigan v Sunderland is the most important event since creation.
It takes a lot for Early Doors to say something positive about English football, but these teams were in the Champions League final for a reason.
The simple fact is no foreign team knocked out any of the four Premier League sides; Liverpool beat Arsenal, Chelsea beat Liverpool, United beat Chelsea. If that isn't a sign of dominance, then it is hard to know what is.
Of course next year might be different, but for the moment ED's Mediterranean cousins Doors can stick their carping up their habitually-late, scooter-riding, kissing-on-both-cheeks rear ends. Losers.
- - -
Much was made of Chelsea's extra experience, as though this were unquestionably an advantage. But when your big match experience consists largely of failure and disappointment, just how helpful is it?
Michael Ballack lost everything there is to lose with Bayer Leverkusen, while Terry and Lampard have spent years crashing out of major tournaments with England.
Yes, Florent Malouda played in the World Cup final, but Early Doors seems to remember he was crap and France lost.
When Ryan Giggs ran onto Patrice Evra's pullback, was he thinking about the open goal he missed against Arsenal in the FA Cup a few years ago? His rotten finish suggests he might have been.
Experience is overrated. Sometimes the absence of mental scars allow clarity of thought at the crucial moment.
It's all very well if you've been there, done that and bought the t-shirt, but if the t-shirt says 'I ballsed it up under pressure' it's not much use, is it?
- - -
Like Claude Makelele, Barnsley victories and Rafa Benitez's tactical genius, cramp only ever seems to show up in cup competitions.
Early Doors isn't talking about extra time - Rio Ferdinand went down in the 69th minute with it, while Frank Lampard appeared to be suffering at the same time.
A similar thing happened in the Carling Cup final, while in the 2006 FA Cup final Steven Gerrard scored his screamer of an injury-time equaliser while basically hobbling around on one leg.
Nobody ever gets cramp in the league, where it is seen as thoroughly avoidable and unprofessional - Sam Allardyce used to fine his players for it in the days when he had a job.
But introduce a knockout format and players' potassium levels seem to plummet through the floor. Bizarre.
- - -
QUOTES OF THE DAY:
"Penalties are a lottery," Ryan Giggs.
"Penalties are a lottery," Henk Ten Cate.
"Penalties are a lottery," Cristiano Ronaldo.
CHUMP OF THE DAY: Didier Drogba, obviously. His petulant little slap on Nemanja Vidic denied Chelsea one of their best penalty takers and might just have lost his side the Champions League. Early Doors actually likes Drogba, but it was an idiotic way to end his time at Stamford Bridge.
It also didn't say much about either Drogba or Avram Grant that the Chelsea boss at one point had to grab the striker by the shirt in order to stop him walking off and ignoring Grant's instructions.
FOREIGN VIEW: "Ramon, don't f*** with me about Ronaldo." Yes, that's the headline in Marca as David Gill tells Real Madrid they can't have United's penalty choke artist. The Spanish have a relaxed attitude to swearing...
TALKING POINT: alihatefi points out that Early Doors should be somewhat skint this morning after yesterday offering odds of 30,000/1 that fans would swap shirts (and signed weapons) with Russian law men: "Pay Up ED, I just saw United fans exchanging shirts with the police in the stadium!" Thankfully for the contents of the murky dungeon ED calls home, nobody snapped up those odds.
Today - So, er, what did you make of the football last night?
COMING UP: Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! That's the sound of a pantechnicon reversing into place, ready to drop off its truckload of Champions League reaction.
Match report
Video - Ronaldo: I missed but I'm still the best
Fergie to phase out veterans
No arrests (in Russia)
Grant sympathy for Terry
Drogba: Hero to zero
Player ratings: Ballack star man
Champions League final: As it happened
Photo gallery from Moscow
See? And there's more to come.
Plus the Scottish title is decided this evening, with Rangers and Celtic playing what promises to be a classic game of goal difference. Follow LIVE commentary from 7.45pm!
Stop that sob ..TERRY..no wonder Fabio isn't giving him the armband cos each time England loses, he runs up to Fabio and cry daddy. Fabio can see that coming..LOL
From sirinzenex on Thu May 22 10:47AMI cant believe so much talk of Terry crying. Folk on this aint football fans!
as for shouldnt be England captain cause cried? eh shows passion ya idiot!
From sav46e on Thu May 22 10:57AMI would like to cordially congratulate ED in advance on becoming the next president of the United States of America.
From astrophel83 on Thu May 22 11:01AMI would also like to nominate Terry for Choker of the Year.
From astrophel83 on Thu May 22 11:02AMWell as a Man U fan, I thought the game had everything that makes British football the best in the world. One team dominating the 1st half, the other team then dominating the 2nd, end to end attacking football, great defending, goal line clearances, off the post shots, a bit of red card scandal, and lots of nail biting tension! As much as I hate Chelsea, they were probably the slightly better team in the end, and gave us a damn good run for our money...though think Utd did deserved to win it more over the course of the CL campaign. Nice for Lamps to score for his mum, and felt for JT when he missed (well after we won anyway) because at least he shows he is passionate about his club!! Drogba is just an idiot (as is Avram), good to see the back on him!! Roll on next season now where I am looking forward to Man U winning even more silverware! Come on the Reds!
From bxhodgso on Thu May 22 11:03AMMight it not be Karma that JT, the insensitive, mindless stealer of a disabled person's parking spot outside a cheap London fast food joint, has been punished by the gods for his utter, uncaring, unthinking selfishness? Hubris indeed! He wasn't very manly really at the end either was he? Is this the end of his chances of retaining his England captaincy? He and Gallas share the same bad trait - me, me, me, me - it's all about me! Why wasn't he looking after his distraught team mates at the end instead of replicating the (over)emotions of an immature 7 year old?
From falveyphk on Thu May 22 11:06AMronaldo made my day. i bet rio would have kicked his nuts if they lost. what a @#$%.
From c.petric on Thu May 22 11:13AMOh and I agree with "sav46e" if you are a football fan you should at least appreciate the passion JT has for his club. If he had cried after losing with England he would be a National Hero (e.g. Gazza). And if you're a Man U fan be thankful we won and appreciate we played a damn good team (arguably the 2nd best in the world), and only by a bit of luck (JT slipping) and a great save by the big man did we actually win it! And that's a fact. Sorry.
From bxhodgso on Thu May 22 11:14AMsav46 & all the other Chelsea whingers:
You lost on penalties having played well. Live with it. Of course you're gutted but why make out like you have somehow been cheated out of a win? Chelsea had chances to win the game which they didn't take. United did ride their luck for much of the game but that's football. As for Terry's miss it is always funny to see someone so monumentally self-obsessed fall on their arse. I also laughed like a drain when Ronaldo lost his nerve so spectacularly- did he still feel like "the very best" as he stepped up?
There is no shame in losing a major final. I once saw Stoke lose the Anglo-Italian Cup to a team I have never even heard of- at least Chelsea lost a cup worth winning.
From chrisnewman950 on Thu May 22 11:14AMumar2050... not to forget a few important facts i noticed...
1st goal = essien's fault = nike boots
lampard = blinder of a game = adidas boots
malouda = @#$% game = nike boots
ballack = blinder of a game = adidas boots
joe cole= @#$% game = nike boots
ashley cole = blinder of a game = adidas boots
carvalho = good game (IMO) = adidas boots
cech = blinder of a game = adidas bootsconspiracy? i think so... i believe nike payed all the chelsea players that it had contracts with to throw the game to united... it was left to all the players who were sponsored by adidas to play for chelsea and kept them in the game... LOL
From saanasmaro on Thu May 22 11:16AMSo much hate...
From isgorathe on Thu May 22 11:16AMIt is a war between Adidas and Nike really!!!!!!!!!!
From saanasmaro on Thu May 22 11:19AMSorry but i can't agree with all the moronic "Terry should be ashamed of crying" comments. I would probably come quite high on the list of John Terry's detractors because i really don't like him that much. But i genuinely felt sorry for him last night. How i wish my club had such committed and passionate players. The occasion clearly got to him in the end and he simply couldn't hide his disappointment at losing an important game. He felt a stronger sense of responsibility being the captain and knowing it was his penalty which cost them the cup. Not that i'm saying it was his fault, but he'll clearly think it was. Like i said earlier, i chuckled when he slipped, but all joking aside, i think he's a better man for showing us how much it meant to him. He's actually gone up in my estimation. Funny how no-one's mentioned Ronaldo breaking down in tears at the end? Seemingly tears of joy are more manly than tears of despair.
This country. (to quote Partridge)
From kevmun82 on Thu May 22 11:20AMI can deal with it. Im not takin anythin away from Man U. I wont say well done casue you wouldnt have to me. I did for the league cause its over a whole season but for this game I honestly feel the better team lost and it was completely down to luck!
2 of the best teams in the world playing on the big stage. the other team is Real btw. again in my opinion.
I dnt ike penalties, very exciting but dnt like them. Even if my team win on penalties I dnt feel as chuffed.
We werent cheated. Thot ref was fair to each. I did think there was 5 corner decisions that were awful tho and not even hard decisions that all went against Chelsea. didnt lead to anythin but.
Chelsea have been unlucky for past 2 seasons but there quality is takin is still keeping them as 1 of the top sides in the world. hopefully win it soon cause I feel they deserve to have it in ther cabinet for showing so much quality over the last 5 or so seasons
From sav46e on Thu May 22 11:23AMDont give me that @#$% chelsea players quoting they were unlucky they dominated.The first half man utd ran riot and should have been 3-4 up..second half chelsea came into it and dominated...before utd came back in extra time..pretty even game as expected.
But stats are stats and hitting post and bar is not shots on target...man utd's goal attempts wer at least on target...and chelsea were very lucky to go into half time with 1-1 as there goal was lucky and the game should have been over as a contest......so shut up frank lampard man utd thoroughly deserved the titla and the champions league victory
From philbo1965uk on Thu May 22 11:24AMThe boots don't make the player you big floppy p enis, stop posting irrelevant ramblings. Can't believe you spent time looking into it. Buffoon.
From the_kop2003 on Thu May 22 11:27AMUntited stunk. Chelsea should have won!!!!!!!
From lukecatania on Thu May 22 11:32AMRyan Giggs says the Champions League Trophy is like a Chocolate Orange -
"It's not Terry's it's all mine"
From old_dubya2004 on Thu May 22 11:32AMThanks champ, you still crying over Riise's own goal?
From saanasmaro on Thu May 22 11:33AMED, I like your sense of humour though at times I hate it when you are talking about my great team Man Utd. Liked that bit about Englishmen and penalties. Are you French or German?
From kaggwa2000 on Thu May 22 11:34AMDrogba is cocky and deserves the red. He also deserves the 'flop of the day' award. Apart from hitting the post, he did very little to impress and aid the cause of Chelsea. More red to his face!!!!!
From pmpeprah on Thu May 22 11:35AMtwo english teams in the final: it shouldn't be allowed... last night's game was nearly as bad as the milan-juventus final a few years back. Neither team is the best in europre, and last night proved... although, it's always great to see Ronaldo miss... i'm just thrilled manchester won't sell him to Real Madrid (me being a madrid fan...).
From suchie77 on Thu May 22 11:37AMLot of chelski fans saying Utd were lucky, and no mention of Lampards goal? Took 2 very lucky deflections and fell perfectly for him, that was luck! After 120mins 1-1 was a fair result but truely, MU should have buried the game before the first half
From double_t_uk2002 on Thu May 22 11:41AMsaanasmaro, no not crying over it, i learnt to move on over unfortunate events. However, maybe i should have come up with a theory that all gingers got paid to score an own goal by Chris Evans, because he was "up for a laugh".
It just annoys me that you talk such complete and utter b ollocks and expect people to be like "Hey, saanasmaro, i think your on to something there... maybe you should contact Nike blah blah bull s hit blah blah"
How about you talk a bit of sense or go jerk off a chicken.
From the_kop2003 on Thu May 22 11:42AMhahaahahah the only unfortunate event that happened was that your "GREAT" club got rejected by Harry Kewell... the kid hasnt played for 5 years and he still rejects ya...
lmao and are you going to tell me that is all b ollocks aswell? because we all know its the truth mate....
From saanasmaro on Thu May 22 11:50AMAs a neutral (well, I say neutral… I’m not a fan of either team but I did want United to win over Chelsea), I think it was a completely even game but I’m delighted it wasn’t as boring as expected. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that, while not one of the greats, it was a pretty good match. I don’t like John Terry, I think he’s a bully and a thug (I’m sure that racism thing with Ledley King was just a rumour, but whatever he said was clearly a step too far), but I felt terrible for him last night. That said, loving the jokes today!
I was delighted when that hideous excuse for a sportsman (Drogba) got sent off, and when that hideous excuse for a sportsman (Ronaldo) missed his pen – I want to like them both because if their talent, but they’re both such cheating little *******s. People go on about how Ronaldo’s not as bad anymore, but did you not see him repeatedly falling to the floor straight after the Chelsea goal despite having not been touched?
Well done to both, but seriously, what are hurting fans doing on here today? You know full well that whichever way it went there was gonna be grief for the losers, there’s no point in the sulky retaliations. Am I right in thinking that was the first time Chelsea reached the final of the CL? Because if I am, the team’s already made history, be grateful for that.
From not_blonde_really on Thu May 22 11:56AMED..i must say that your analysis are quite good but your critics pisses me off atimes....anyway,congrats! Man U! cuz chelsea never deserved to lift the trophy not even under Avram Grants but the Gunners are coming for it next season.......once again ,bravo!!!
From reallywoody on Thu May 22 11:58AMsuchie77:
How do you find out the best teams in Europe then? Perhaps some sort of competition where the teams that do the best in their own domestic leagues play against each other? Perhaps there could be a group stage that leads on to a knock-out competition? Sound familiar?
No English team lost to a non-English team. The facts do not lie & the Premiership has consistently supplie Champions League finalists.From chrisnewman950 on Thu May 22 11:59AMcmon man, kevkum, we are just trying to have a laugh, and make ourselves feel better, of course we all know that conspiracy theory is daft. but lol if u think abt it, Van der Sar who wears Adidas had a @#$% game so maybe he was trying for Chelsea, of couse it was Anelka's fault (nike) that he shot the ball straight at him.
From umar2050 on Thu May 22 12:09PMAll in all not a bad climax to the Champions League 2007/08 - at least it provided some talking points. Salute Avram Grant for his humility and dignity. Stop taking cheap and tedoiusly stereotyped and generalised pot-shots at Ronaldo and Terry etc - it is the curse of the footy fan to take exaggerated and extreme dislike to a skilful opponent. The test is : would you like that player in your team? In the case of Mr Drogba, the answer may well be 'no' since he can become a liability, as demonstrated by the specific incident which caused his dismissal last night. I am no fan of referees in any way, but I thought the guy in charge of the game handled it well. He is customarily unfussy and not an egomaniac like some we have seen. If he had a fault I felt it was to accept players surrounding him and Chelsea seemed to be the worst offenders on this occasion. Well done United -and bad luck Chelsea - but I am not sure you will be back, despite Avram Grant's prophecy post -match
From phil.roberts2939 on Thu May 22 12:16PM
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