The break-up
Tue Jun 03 08:58AM
Ach du Liebe! No sooner does Early Doors move its seat-back into the upright position and jet off on its holidays (Megabus to Cleethorpes, actually) than some news happens.
Which is bad news for your Alpine exchange student, Early Döorß, who is unable to make its debut talking about its specialist subjects of third-choice Romanian goalkeepers and the intricacies of Greek tactics (bore the pants off everyone).
No, instead it has to hold forth about Sven and Jose when the extent of its football knowledge extends no further than the Austrian second division. Such ignorance should ensure it fits in nicely, then.
- - -
Sven-Goran Eriksson's exit from Manchester City shows Thaksin Shinawatra's idea of "mutual consent" is probably on a par with Mike Tyson's.
Which tasteless humour brings Early Döorß to a day-old aside about Iron Mike, whose 'previous' proved no deterrent for fame-hungry Big Brother loser Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace.
The pair were seen 'canoodling' over Cristal in London club Chinawhite (could they BE any more turn-of-the-millennium?), with a sickened onlooker telling the Currant Bun: "Mike had two enormous bouncers flanking the table and proceeded to snog Aisleyne's ear, neck and mouth."
Aisleyne, unburdened by either fear or shame, later bundled into a cab with Tyson, with the former heavyweight champ presenting her with a rose whose children he had presumably eaten moments earlier.
Anyway, back to Sven, whose departure provoked disgust from City fans, who deluged call-ins and message boards to declare themselves "shocked" and "gobsmacked".
Well, then they obviously weren't paying much attention, were they? David Blunkett could have seen this coming.
It is claimed (although not by Early Döorß, obviously) that Thaksin knows a thing or two about torture, and that certainly showed as he put Sven through the indignity of a Far East tour before showing him the door.
But if we know one thing about the Swede, it is that he simply refuses to let self-respect get in the way of a bumper payday, and although ED obviously has no details of the payoff, Eriksson probably earned himself an extra million quid or so by sitting through all those painful photo shoots with the man who was about to fire him.
City fans are also up in arms about the imminent appointment of Mark Hughes, on the basis that he used to wind people up and score the occasional goal across town at United.
Hughes has proved himself to be Wrexham's answer to Arsene Wenger, picking up the likes of David Bentley, Roque Santa Cruz and Chris Samba for a pittance.
Additionally, his side, like Wenger's, are notorious for keeping referees busy (although in Arsenal's case it is fair to say the frantic pace of red card accumulation has slowed somewhat since Patrick Vieira took his two-footed lunges to Serie A).
City qualified for the UEFA Cup through the Fair Play league under Sven. Meanwhile Blackburn finished dead last, scoring particularly badly in the 'Respect to Referee' and 'Behaviour of Officials' categories.
- - -
Far be it from a snivelling mortal such as ED to question the Special One, but isn't Jose Mourinho's move to Inter Milan a bit weird?
The winding up Roman Abramovich aside, Mourinho was sacked by Chelsea basically because he couldn't win the Champions League - despite massive domestic success.
So why would he move to a team who have just sacked their coach because he couldn't win the Champions League?
Inter have won Serie A three times in a row, basically because of AC Milan and Juventus's punishments for (ineptly) attempting to influence referees. Even with Mourinho on board, Inter aren't going to win the next three.
And what is Jose's blueprint for success? Bringing in a load of ageing players who couldn't do the business in Europe when they were at Chelsea.
Early Doors particularly looks forward to seeing the Stroppy and Unhinged double act up front as Didier Drogba and Zlatan Ibrahimovic team up. And Frank Lampard should ask Paul Ince how 'honest' English midfielders usually fare in Serie A.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Gary Lineker, a bright boy from the BBC, says I'm childish. Well he should know about that stuff himself ... He'll understand what childishness means because he is childish. I don't think I'm childish at all." Nothing childish about that extract from Fergie's interview with Sir David Frost.
FOREIGN VIEW/RONALDO CORNER: "Cristiano will decide today" - Not Marca this time, but similarly scurrilous Madrid rag AS. They claim Ronaldo is annoyed that Fergie keeps saying he won't move, and will join Real Madrid just to spite him. Or something. Marca, meanwhile have given up the ghost, and suggest that Real have decided to bother Lyon and Atletico Madrid for Karim Benzema and Sergio Aguero instead.
TALKING POINT: Yesterday ED garnered the lowest amount of feedback for 10 weeks - a miserable 27 comments. Part of it is pleased to have scared off some of the crazier elements on the message board. Yet at the same time it can't help but feel nostalgic for the pointless slanging matches and personal insults.
nick.goodwin summed up the malaise thus: "Early Doors be damned. Bring back Diana Dors." If ED could, it would Nick. But she's got an exclusive blog deal with the BBC. Either that or she's been dead 20 years.
Today - In a shameless attempt to provoke some of those bill-paying arguments, ED would like to know which message board poster you dislike the most, and why?
COMING UP: No live football until Saturday, but our Euro 2008 previews continue apace with a team profile on Spain, plus we don our John Jensen afro wigs and a look back at Euro '92. All the Euro coverage you have ever dreamed of is right here.
E-mail this story
IM this storyIt pisses me off when people have to be FIRST POST!!!
From ianbec on Tue Jun 03 09:02AMED for the EU secretary general!! ED would do a much better job for sure!!!
What with enabling an on the spot fine for any mention of the name Sepp Blatter...we get a free football blog everyday to!! Top notch!Oh and for hate the most? it has to be that Toolbox from yesterday sfteam50 if he doesn't even post anything at any time how in tarnation does he expect to be mentioned? sfteam I hate you!!!!
From dannickbates on Tue Jun 03 09:14AMpaulathompson and simondenham are the obvious candidates, garagemusic is also a bit of a furry turd. I'm sure i am likely to get a few just because i support Liverpool, but like the Ramones say "Hey, Ho, lets go"
From the_kop2003 on Tue Jun 03 09:14AMthe only reason to support liverpool is if you live there you do live there dont you?
From dannickbates on Tue Jun 03 09:22AMNot any more dannick, i lived there most of my life though but now live down south. I take it you support your local side then?
From the_kop2003 on Tue Jun 03 09:30AMhope noone hates me. Sum prick sent me an email 1 day sayin he read my comment n thot I was a dick or some thin so I hate him most I guess. I mean why send me a private email. funny cause he says were gonna destroy u 2moron he was Arsenal fan then Chelsea won so that'll be 1-0 to me.
Of course Inter want Mourinho, he's best manager available.
From sav46e on Tue Jun 03 09:34AMWho do i hate the most, hard to say i'm a regular reader of the blog but don't feel i personally know them well enough. Ok it comes down to 3 people, firstly the the people that come on and just write "first post ha ha", almost as annoying as the one that writes "first post" but it is the fifth post. Then there are the ones that simply write "only one ed" when clearly there isn't.
From ima_fat_tw on Tue Jun 03 09:34AM@ the_kop2003 yes i do support my local club Ajax Cape Town have ever since i was able to understand football...that was 16 years ago...but then sattelite tv came to South Africa and i discoverd my next love Chelsea that was round about 13 years ago...
From dannickbates on Tue Jun 03 09:37AMhave to agree with ima_fat_tw (although not with a name like that)
From dannickbates on Tue Jun 03 09:39AMI hate g_hine... he's a tw@t
From g_hine on Tue Jun 03 09:43AMHe's probably a manchester supporting ba.stard from basildon. Yeah.
I hate anyone who uses thirteen exclamation points. Rot in hell, you punctuation abusing turds.
From p_tolomy on Tue Jun 03 09:44AMdannickbates, i have a yahoo id which describes my phsical appearance perfectly.....obviously need the @ on the end of it though.
g-hine and the self loathing? Are you a My Chemical Romance fan by any chance?
From ima_fat_tw on Tue Jun 03 09:49AMNo, just a Norwich fan
From g_hine on Tue Jun 03 09:50AMima_fat_tw, I hope I haven't made your blood boil by writing the first post this morning! What has happened to the likes of paulathompson and co. anyway? Maybe they have been detained at Her Majestys pleasure...
From ianbec on Tue Jun 03 09:52AMI dislike the_kop2003, he seems likeon of those people who has an opinion on everything..and he is definatly right everytime he talks...
From raulpeeves on Tue Jun 03 09:54AMHaha raulpeeves that's very... kind of you? I too dislike g_hine because every time I post over at cow corner he always comes up with a better one. Damn those from Norwich!
Oh and i also agree with those who post "first post" and those who abuse punctuation like a, well, like a turd.
From the_kop2003 on Tue Jun 03 10:00AMI think you've a fan there Kop. A sycophantic hater?
From g_hine on Tue Jun 03 10:02AMOf course the most annoying was the Keegan No-hope Messy-Ahh. Some people just have too much time on their hands!
From ianbec on Tue Jun 03 10:03AMAnd the people who do two identical posts in a row!
From ianbec on Tue Jun 03 10:04AMAnyone that posts in CAPS LOCK LIKE THEY ARE SHOUTING AT YOU.
From ima_fat_tw on Tue Jun 03 10:05AMWho is ROBERT MCFARLANE?
From damdesign66 on Tue Jun 03 10:08AMI didn't realise we were supposed to be playing jeopardy...
What is the Bridge of Sighs?
From g_hine on Tue Jun 03 10:10AMhave u herd about greg halford? apprently he went down the pub the other day.......
by himself! haha! u think with all that money greg halford could buy some friends lol
p.s.
greg halford's momma is sooooo fat... she fell in love and broke itFrom jsargea on Tue Jun 03 10:12AMI always used to skip the first few comments when fayyaz whatshisface forgot to take his keegan pill. That was quite annoying.
I've read ED daily for most of the season but rarely posted. Just can't keep quiet on this one!
From aardhaart on Tue Jun 03 10:15AMyou know who else i now hate is jsargea with a stupid comment like that!
WHERE THE HELL DID THAT FALL OUT OF? Hell it's obvious you fell out of your cave this morning
and ima_fat_tw i was shouting on purpose there....From dannickbates on Tue Jun 03 10:16AMYes ianbec, farah_shazana or whatever they were called, that was so annoying!
But i have to say that sometimes the two identical posts cannot be helped, Yahoo has a mind of it's own sometimes...
I don't hate you g_hine, i think your a very intellegent fellow
From the_kop2003 on Tue Jun 03 10:20AMpeepul woo spel poor and use grammir rong
From jcverm on Tue Jun 03 10:25AMna mussh its true ya nan told me... she wuz all liike "whats it doin bro" n i wuz all liike "nank boi" n she wuz all liike "greg halford aint got no bro'z u no" so i wuz all propa liike "bovverd mush"
Anyway i digress ya mum left her teeth at my house tell her 2 @#$% pik em up boi cheesen itFrom jsargea on Tue Jun 03 10:26AMwho is this troll? and who let him out the muesum exhibit?
From dannickbates on Tue Jun 03 10:27AMI actually know Greg Halford, and can confirm that he did say "nank boi" and "bovvered mush" but then i ran him over with a Fiat Cincequento and now he is gone.
Stop posting such rubbish, now i hate you jsargea, i hate you with a passion.
Good tactic from ED today to get a right big slanging match going off.
From the_kop2003 on Tue Jun 03 10:32AM
Comment on this article
Please sign in to add your comments.
This site is Copyright © 2008 Yahoo! and Eurosport. All rights reserved.
- Terms of Service
- Updated Privacy Policy
- Copyright/IP Policy
- Remarks and Suggestions
- Corporate info
- Jobs at Eurosport
Notice: We collect personal information on this site. To learn more about how we use your information, see our Privacy Policy.