Property ladder
Thu Feb 21 08:58AM
Getting on the property ladder can be hard. The credit crunch and the resultant tightening of mortgage lenders' belts has left the most unlikely people homeless, with no hope of affording a place of their own.
You might think Jonathan Woodgate's estimated £60,000-a-week pay packet could get him a nice mock Tudor pile in Ilford or Chigwell, but he is struggling just like any average Joe.
"I'm still living in a hotel," he revealed. "We need to find a place to live. We've seen apartments, we've seen houses and all the prices and it's a lot more expensive down here than it is up north.
"I think you could buy 10 penthouses up north for the price of something down here. House prices are a joke, they are. It's unbelievable. When you are looking about and you see some of the houses, you think 'What?'
"But that's London and that's the way it is. Hopefully, I can find a house and get settled.
"You just want the right place for you and you want to get it at the right price. You don't want to end up getting ripped off in any way, do you?
"It's expensive for everyone, isn't it? You don't want to be blowing stupid money on a house."
It would be easy to mock Woodgate, but Early Doors doesn't like the practice of whacking footballers over the head any time they say something vaguely interesting (Actually, it does. It just can't think of an appropriately funny remark).
Instead it humbly offers its services and can reveal, after a quick search on one of those property websites, that there is no need to splash millions of pounds on a mansion in some gated community.
In fact, there are over 100 two-bedroom flats on sale for under £200,000 within a mile of White Hart Lane.
Early Doors has its eye on a three-bedroom property on sale for 'just' £145,000 in a massive ex-local authority block just a Molotov cocktail's throw from the ground.
"Identified as a purchase for an investor", says the website, which is estate agent speak for "obviously you won't want to live there, but you might be able to find some sucker who will."
If Woodgate's property search proves fruitless, he might consider the Joey Barton route of taking on a several-hundred-mile commute.
If Barton can take a helicopter to Newcastle when holed up at the Sporting Chance Clinic in Hampshire, Woody can spend his cash on a private jet and scoot down to London from the north-east every morning.
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Alex Ferguson got a good write-up after his introduction of Carlos Tevez resulted in a Manchester United equaliser at Lyon.
Early Doors has always wondered why managers get credit for making good substitutions.
Leaving aside the occasional Solskjaer-style "impact player" who comes on late in the game to do a supersub turn, a successful change usually just means the manager cocked his tactics up in the first place
Most people thought Tevez would play from the start but Fergie went with Wayne Rooney on his own up top. The move backfired, and United only reached anything like top gear once he rectified his mistake and brought on a second striker.
All told, it was hardly a midweek to showcase the 'Best League in the World', even though none of the four English sides lost.
Nobody scored a goal outside the last six minutes, and Emmanuel Adebayor could not even manage that; the Arsenal striker heading onto the woodwork from right underneath the crossbar in stoppage time.
The real action took place in Glasgow, where Celtic played out a five-goal thriller against Barcelona. For a team whose fans are generally not big fans of the UK, Celtic specialise in a very British form of heroic failure.
Despite going in front twice and having Barça on the ropes, the Bhoys went down 3-2 at home and now have little or no chance of going through - particularly with their dismal away record in Europe.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY: Gordon Strachan assesses Celtic's chances of a comeback against Barcelona: "I wouldn't put my house on it. I've worked too hard over 35 years to get a house." It's taken him 35 years to put down the deposit on a house? He and Woody want to get a new estate agent.
FOREIGN VIEW: Tim Cahill on the Premier League abroad: "You can imagine what would happen if Everton or Liverpool played in Australia. It would be absolutely massive. David Beckham went to Australia and brought in 80,000 people to a game. He had 1.6 million viewers on TV. He inspires kids to do the right things - to eat healthy, read books, be a good athlete and play good football. If the Premier League game is going to be a pure money-making exercise then it's not right for me, but if it is to give something back to the fans then it is worth exploring." Read books?
DEBATE OF THE DAY: alihatefi is building a nice little streak after earning himself a mention two days on the trot. He suggests a novel way for Fidel Castro to spend his dotage: "Have Castro be the next manager for Liverpool! He speaks Spanish, will be as entertaining as Mourinho, and have the players fearing for their lives." Early Doors is particularly excited at the prospect of five-hour post-match press conferences.
Today's question: How should Jonathan Woodgate solve his housing problem and is anyone willing to put him up in the spare room?
COMING UP: Oh, will this orgy of continental football never end? Step into the European pleasure dome once again this evening for the sensual delights of the UEFA Cup. We have minute-by-minute commentary on all five British teams (Spurs, Everton, Bolton, Rangers and Aberdeen) plus live scores and scorers from the rest of the night's games. The whole shebang kicks off at 4pm and, thanks to Braga's comical 9.30pm kick-off against Bremen, we are live until nearly midnight.
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IM this storyI've got some mates living in a squat about 20 mins bus ride from White Hart Lane that Woody could crash out in. The roof in the spare room leaks a bit but nothing that couldn't be sorted for a couple of hundred quid. After the outside is sorted it would just need a bit of plastering and as I understand it he has quite a bit of experience with plaster.
From bluecabco on Thu Feb 21 09:46AMWoody can stay at mine. I live a short commute from London and have a nice sized spare room. I'd have to charge rent, shall we say £10,000 per week?
From stumpyfingers81 on Thu Feb 21 09:56AMJeees, not the housing scam again. Real Madrid put Woody up in their 'spare room' for 3 years whilst his £13.4m assets were supposedly being developed...
From simondenham on Thu Feb 21 10:02AMoh dear, a quiet posting this morning Early Doors, barely a chuckle. Thought Ronaldo being zapped by lasers would have warranted a mention...maybe somone could direct one at Wenger to improve his eyesight.
From matt_brooke1 on Thu Feb 21 10:22AMKeegan No Hope...
Messy-Aahh
From farah_shazana on Thu Feb 21 10:41AMWell, I am looking for someone to share me the new house that I want to rent. I am making £300 weekly and I am PhD student. Maybe woody will find me someone intresting to share house with, won't he?
From samsomtamtaom on Thu Feb 21 10:42AMWoody should look into a 'Rosie & Jim' style canal boat investment for a modest 80k - he looks like a bit of a sailor anyway..... And he can get up to visit his buddies in the North quicker than if he had to crawl his way round the M25. Keep the moronic greenies happy too.
From alsltd on Thu Feb 21 10:50AMI reported Farah for abuse, and suggest others do the same
... Not for spam, but for "Inciting violence or hatred", I think we can all agree she's sparked a lot of hatred towards her lol, I suggest others do the same 
.. Boring article today still.From tarek.taylor on Thu Feb 21 10:55AMI'm not surprised Woody can't afford a property, he clearly can't afford a haircut either... As a financial adviser I think his hesitation might be the result of a career shrowded in investment failure... Leeds - Bankrupt; Newcastle - Northern Rock; Real - Health Care Costs; Middlesborough - Season Tickets; Spurs - Bent; You can understand why therefore his attitude to risk might be what we would call in the industry 'Risk Adverse'. The current housing market must bring him out in a cold sweat. Still if he cut his hair that might help that.
From cjg274 on Thu Feb 21 11:09AMWhite Hart Lane has a large, spare and empty area he can turn into a comfortable living space - it's called 'The trophy room' it would be the first time in ages anyone has had any reason to go in it.
From paulsteb on Thu Feb 21 11:28AMI am amazed nobody has spotted this already. Woody doesn't need to buy a home in London. He already has one at Tottenham, and he has had the same home everywhere he has played. It is called the Physio's Treatment Room!
From andywalker269 on Thu Feb 21 11:39AMWoody, Woody .. I think we all understand your reluctance to part with your hard earned cash, and that you do not want to be ripped of by some local Del Boy (no stereotype intended), but you'll struggle to get a 3 bed semi for 20K like you had next door to the Riverside ...
Also, glad to see Keegans managerial skills transfer easily to those who work with the legend, "there's no magic wand" regurgitates Pearson verbatim .. superb knowledge transfer ..
From dave.a.miller on Thu Feb 21 12:01PMYeah, great article. Just like the one that said Inter were the number 1 in europe.
From paddyirishman111 on Thu Feb 21 12:34PMTell woody to come live in doncaster only 2 hours commute Quicker than trip round M 25!?
From junesboy2003 on Thu Feb 21 12:52PMRobbie Fowler must have a house down there maybe he could rent woody one
From tonykirk1 on Thu Feb 21 01:07PMI'd be curious to find out the average monthly mortgage payment is in the areas within a reasonable commute from White Hart Lane is. On 60 grand a week, Mr Woodgate is making almost a quarter mill a month! Even if he shelled out 24 grand a month on his mortgage, that's roughly 10% of his income. That should still leave a bit for groceries, utility bills, sports cars, etc.
From mrvarmint on Thu Feb 21 01:23PMif he thinks the houses are over priced and not good value for money....how does he think the football clubs that have spent a fortune on him feel. s'pose he needs a nice pad cos thats where he spends most of his time...on the sick
From modavid1983 on Thu Feb 21 01:45PMI have a room over my garage that he could rent. It doesn't have any heat, bathroom or kitchen, and i don't quite know if it's legal to live there, but it won't be too expensive which seems to be the most important thing for him. The only thin is. he would have to travel all the way to Norway, but that's not my problem.
From g_tande on Thu Feb 21 02:17PMDoesnt want to get ripped off! This from a guy who has made millions from an industry that specialises in ripping people off. Tosser.
From tonykirk1 on Thu Feb 21 04:11PMA Premiership player advocatng children reading books? English Premiership players can't even speak English let alone read books. Listen to the plyers in after match interviews - a series of cliches linked by erm, you know, like erm you know, erm, erm .....
The daiz ov gud edukayshun have went!!!
From john_wingfield on Thu Feb 21 04:18PMdtyu57
From larry421 on Thu Feb 21 04:35PMdtyu57
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xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxFrom shaun397 on Thu Feb 21 04:40PMED was told by YOU readers to talk about football and not "It may be day invented by Hallmark perpetuated by Disney and taken to saturation point by Florists everywhere but it's also a day certain misguided individuals take as sacrosanct." To tell you the truth, that "Pastry = Passion" article was a lot funnier than the ones I've read since. If you want boring news, watch SKY or go to ESPNsoccernet or something. Bring back the old ED!!!
From tlamzi on Thu Feb 21 11:13PMWoody should just wait for the next England friendly. Capello will offer him a house to come take up a place as a center half. I know, you're thinking, "What about JT and Rio?" JT is due for another freak injury, and Capello would be smart to stay away from anyone chosen at random under the Macca reign. If all else fails, Woody can come to America. Join the Galaxy, though he may not be able to afford the Becks-special when it comes to housing choices.
From mrsims150 on Thu Feb 21 11:39PMPerhaps we should set up a charity fund for Woody, The Jonathan Woodgate foundation. There will be a lot of confusion over who will receive the money though.
From alihatefi on Fri Feb 22 01:44AM
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