Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Moneychest-er City

Tue Nov 11 08:54AM

According to research conducted by dusty academic types, a downturn in the economic cycle invariably leads to people spending more money on entertainment (stretch, yawn, sleep).

For evidence of this you need look no further than the soaraway success of AC/DC's new album, ‘Black Ice'. Number one in 29 countries and counting, the veteran rockers are doing rather nicely from this global recession with their rasping one-trick shtick.

Call it escapism; call it rock'n'roll therapy; call it a schoolboy fetish - whatever you call it, this trend for spending frivolously when there is barely enough to go round has been in evidence since the Romans handed over their monthly salary to watch people get mauled by lions.

All of which leads us nicely into the news that Manchester City are reportedly planning to offer Jose Mourinho £15million/year to become their manager - an amount of money Early Doors would happy fight a lion for.

But the dusty academics will not be happy. While AC/DC and glorified human sacrifice clearly represent entertainment to the masses, Mourinho is unlikely to lift the gloom in the Premier League by turning City into a dull, attritional force with eight holding midfielders who everybody hates. Now, that's not entertainment.

Furthermore, if Mourinho does arrive at Middle Eastlands City will start winning things, and if that happens the world's most fatalistic fans will lose everything they stand for.

Being a City fan is about suffering; about losing football matches to a soundtrack of Joy Division and holding on desperately in the hope that one perfect afternoon their team might humble the dark force that is Manchester United. If they were to win the league their very soul would be ripped out and fed on a plate to Peter Kenyon.

It is for that very reason ED is today launching a campaign for Kevin Keegan to return to the club. Now that's entertainment.

- - -

Andy Cole has announced his retirement from the game, bringing to a close a career that peaked during Manchester United's 1998/99 treble season and was punctuated by prolific mention of himself in the third person.

"I want to give something back," he told The Times. "I don't think it's the end of the Andrew Cole story. Hopefully it's a new chapter."

ED is praying that new chapter will incorporate the long-awaited follow-up to his smash-hit ‘Outstanding', a streetwise rap number that included some of the best lyrics ever set to music. For the uninitiated, here's an extract.

A summer time rhyme and a party jam
Sharp like a razor, speed to amaze ya
Best ya like, Ali did Joe Frazier
I reminisce back to the school yard
I used to work hard, I used to play hard
Got my kicks from hitting the net, not drugs
You bet, we're outstanding

Inspired.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "What made everybody happy in this election was that nobody knows what Obama's ideas are, but the system has brought someone to the top just because they have the quality and nothing else. I think that's right." Is Arsene Wenger comparing himself to the president elect?

FOREIGN VIEW: "Football is a world that doesn't interest me anymore; I don't want to come back." Disgraced former Juventus general manager Luciano Moggi, banned for five years for his involvement in match-fixing, makes a decision that has already been made for him.

COMING UP: Follow our LIVE coverage of tonight's Carling Cup action, where Premier League behemoths will bless us with the very best players their reserve and youth teams have to offer.

Comments1 - 30 of 329
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1st for the ist tym
From harsh20483 on Tue Nov 11 08:55AM
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Even money still can't bring glory to city. Jose had success with chelsea cuz he had cash n loads of it. Marky mark's not used to that much cash, he's used to little money and brutish players ala blackburn. Glory Glory Man United.
From wsnpj on Tue Nov 11 09:04AM
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Morning fellow wasters
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 09:13AM
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Jose + Cash = Strong possibility of loads of success... I wish these Arabians rather bought someone minor though - can you imagine Havant&Waterlooville beating Real/Barca/Milan/Juve/ManU/Chelsea in the Champion's League final of 2012...?
From jcverm on Tue Nov 11 09:14AM
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Jose back to City AAAAH HAAAA HAAAA HAA
From eliotot on Tue Nov 11 09:14AM
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I thought the "Chosen One" was just waiting for SAF to spit out his chewie for the last time, then he can take over the biggest job in the EPL.
From damurf2000 on Tue Nov 11 09:16AM
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And no Arab is after Wenger? They're not very well read over there, are they?
From eliotot on Tue Nov 11 09:16AM
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When did Andy Cole decide he would be known as Andrew Cole?
From sikka316 on Tue Nov 11 09:17AM
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8 oh he was very uppitity about that some time ago Simon
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 09:18AM
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Just think of the mouthwatering clash between Mourinho and City's defensive midfielders and Scolari and Chelsea's attacking midfielders... (If Mourinho takes over he'll surely trade SWP, Robinho, Elano and Ireland for the likes of Mikel and Essien, with a comeback for Claude Makelele also likely)
From jcverm on Tue Nov 11 09:21AM
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Does anyone else remember on Fantasy football the feature they had called "old football was rubbish, but not as rubbish as Andy Cole" I do miss that programme.
From sikka316 on Tue Nov 11 09:22AM
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How long does mourinho have left on his Inter Milan contract?? Doesn't it run out the same time capello's England contract runs out??
From jay8my on Tue Nov 11 09:23AM
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13 Are you a journo Jay?
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 09:28AM
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Pen dipped in acid today, ED. Nice one, the sarcasm could etch a gravestone.
From james_ssmith on Tue Nov 11 09:36AM
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wow slow morning folks
so um everybody busy huh? or was the article so boring everyone has fallen asleep?
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 09:44AM
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Atrophy has set in ED and your boring article is too blame
Best Premier league player you have seen live folks and why?
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 09:47AM
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Bloody hell I can see a struggle just to get to the 69 crown!
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 09:49AM
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FBF - calm down dude, sometimes this happens on blogs. Best ever premiership player for me is Henry. I know its baised but he was amazing in his prime. I would say Gerrard could be a good shout, but hes never won the premiership so not really deserving of the crown.
From jay8my on Tue Nov 11 09:54AM
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I don't think Mourinho would take the England job for the same reasons heavyweights like SAF or Wenger won't go to Scotland, France or any international team: No transfer kitty. You'd have to make do with what your country has; no buying a Brazilian for some flair, an English hardman for defense or a Spanish goalkeeper... And Arsene would be stoned for taking France's under19 team to the World Cup...
From jcverm on Tue Nov 11 09:56AM
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Yes let the special one go to City and knock Arse-nal out of the top 4
From jerry_applewhite on Tue Nov 11 09:57AM
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UP CHELSEA, mancity is a @#$%, Robinho went and bury his talent in a stupid club callled man city
From sunkamm on Tue Nov 11 10:00AM
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24 - Dirty old man Arsene would be like a pig in shittymud having a complete french team who are all under 19. That must me his ultimate wet dream
From jerry_applewhite on Tue Nov 11 10:01AM
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jcverm, i think mourinho is too big headed not to one day manage England. Okay no, he wouldn't have a transfer kitty but he would still have a good bunch of under-performing players. Look what he did for Terry and lampard, that would only give him a gr8 deal of confidence.
From jay8my on Tue Nov 11 10:03AM
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That might be true jay, but I think that Lampard and Terry's form over the last few years have more to do with being surrounded by and competing for places with some of the world's best players (Drogba, Carvalho, Essien, Cech, Ballack) than anything else. And some of those guys he brought in for quite a few millions...
From jcverm on Tue Nov 11 10:19AM
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ED, sometimes, just sometimes you get it all right. Today was one of those special days. Must be the full moon affecting you.
From myidwasstolenby on Tue Nov 11 10:20AM
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ED, sometimes, just sometimes you get it all right. Today was one of those special days. Must be the full moon affecting you.
From myidwasstolenby on Tue Nov 11 10:20AM
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ED, sometimes, just sometimes you get it all right. Today was one of those special days. Must be the full moon affecting you.
From myidwasstolenby on Tue Nov 11 10:20AM
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Bergcamp and Henry both awesome yes my two would be Shearer and Gerrard
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 10:20AM
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Mourinho wont go to Man City coz when SAF retires theres only one manager that could replace such a legend. Mourinho to Man Utd i tell thee!!!
From chuggen84 on Tue Nov 11 10:21AM
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i doubt thee!!
From jay8my on Tue Nov 11 10:22AM
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