Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Moneychest-er City

Tue Nov 11 08:54AM

According to research conducted by dusty academic types, a downturn in the economic cycle invariably leads to people spending more money on entertainment (stretch, yawn, sleep).

For evidence of this you need look no further than the soaraway success of AC/DC's new album, ‘Black Ice'. Number one in 29 countries and counting, the veteran rockers are doing rather nicely from this global recession with their rasping one-trick shtick.

Call it escapism; call it rock'n'roll therapy; call it a schoolboy fetish - whatever you call it, this trend for spending frivolously when there is barely enough to go round has been in evidence since the Romans handed over their monthly salary to watch people get mauled by lions.

All of which leads us nicely into the news that Manchester City are reportedly planning to offer Jose Mourinho £15million/year to become their manager - an amount of money Early Doors would happy fight a lion for.

But the dusty academics will not be happy. While AC/DC and glorified human sacrifice clearly represent entertainment to the masses, Mourinho is unlikely to lift the gloom in the Premier League by turning City into a dull, attritional force with eight holding midfielders who everybody hates. Now, that's not entertainment.

Furthermore, if Mourinho does arrive at Middle Eastlands City will start winning things, and if that happens the world's most fatalistic fans will lose everything they stand for.

Being a City fan is about suffering; about losing football matches to a soundtrack of Joy Division and holding on desperately in the hope that one perfect afternoon their team might humble the dark force that is Manchester United. If they were to win the league their very soul would be ripped out and fed on a plate to Peter Kenyon.

It is for that very reason ED is today launching a campaign for Kevin Keegan to return to the club. Now that's entertainment.

- - -

Andy Cole has announced his retirement from the game, bringing to a close a career that peaked during Manchester United's 1998/99 treble season and was punctuated by prolific mention of himself in the third person.

"I want to give something back," he told The Times. "I don't think it's the end of the Andrew Cole story. Hopefully it's a new chapter."

ED is praying that new chapter will incorporate the long-awaited follow-up to his smash-hit ‘Outstanding', a streetwise rap number that included some of the best lyrics ever set to music. For the uninitiated, here's an extract.

A summer time rhyme and a party jam
Sharp like a razor, speed to amaze ya
Best ya like, Ali did Joe Frazier
I reminisce back to the school yard
I used to work hard, I used to play hard
Got my kicks from hitting the net, not drugs
You bet, we're outstanding

Inspired.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "What made everybody happy in this election was that nobody knows what Obama's ideas are, but the system has brought someone to the top just because they have the quality and nothing else. I think that's right." Is Arsene Wenger comparing himself to the president elect?

FOREIGN VIEW: "Football is a world that doesn't interest me anymore; I don't want to come back." Disgraced former Juventus general manager Luciano Moggi, banned for five years for his involvement in match-fixing, makes a decision that has already been made for him.

COMING UP: Follow our LIVE coverage of tonight's Carling Cup action, where Premier League behemoths will bless us with the very best players their reserve and youth teams have to offer.

Comments31 - 60 of 329
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35 Interesting shout would the Scum faithful accept Mourinho though?
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 10:23AM
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37 Johnny you just plain crazy
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 10:24AM
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who's it gonna be then? Keane? Strachan? Mark Hughes?
From chuggen84 on Tue Nov 11 10:26AM
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Titus Bramble is very entertaining to watch at least...
From jcverm on Tue Nov 11 10:27AM
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the best ED EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Nice writing mate (good fun)
From peculiarpraise on Tue Nov 11 10:28AM
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Homegrown yeah Keane only
Outside of these shores maybe top European manager
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 10:30AM
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andy cole or andrew cole, which one do you think is best?
eventually joey barton will ask to be known as joseph barton and when gary cahill reaches his twighlight years and wants to be taken more seriously he will want to be known as gareth. it makes you think, what if gareth wanted to be known as gary southgate, would he have scored that peno????
From dustbrother101 on Tue Nov 11 10:30AM
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have you all noticed that now MANCHESTER CITY look a threat people are ready to jump down our throats slagging us off,well all i can say is ID LOVE IT, LOVE IT if we beat all them..man u -arsenal-chelsea-liverpool have all bought there trophies spending 25 to 30 million on players so why not us muahahahaha..it would be sweet if sparky is there to win trophies for us but to tell you the truth if morinho comes well hold on to your hat he has a proven record and he is the special one ..us city fans have suffered long enough but not now we are going places..and remember when you put fuel in your vehicles you are topping the man city kitty fund up
From hendersoncleaningservices on Tue Nov 11 10:34AM
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Best player(s) to play in Premiership gotta be Bergkamp, Shearer and possibly Sheringham. taking into account amount of goals scored and how good goals they were
From chuggen84 on Tue Nov 11 10:35AM
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Patrick Vieira also had a good few years in the prem. Cantona carried Utd to a few prem titles. Zola was sooooooo entertaining. Even Peter schmichael could be considered as one of the best, he won so much with utd its unreal.
From jay8my on Tue Nov 11 10:38AM
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Dear ED, please try harder this is not 'educated humour' it's just boring uneducated (lack or) humour. The best bit is your typos...
From daveyzsmith on Tue Nov 11 10:39AM
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If the chosen one were to come and buy/bring with an assortment of Italians, Brazilians etc would Man City fans still call their club "the only football club in Manchester?" They might win silverware but at what cost to the die heart fans who still live off the glory days of Bell, Lee & Sumerbee!!
From jonathangrosskopf on Tue Nov 11 10:40AM
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Chuggen84 Do you see Keane the next Man Poo boss?
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 10:41AM
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50 Jay I'm only asking the best player you;ve seen live and why? I want a more personal insight than a simple discussion about who was the best player in the Premier league
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 10:47AM
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#48 - It's only Chelsea that bought trophies. SAF and Wenger are brilliant at nurturing young players and adding some steel around them (think Beckham, Giggs & Scholes + Keane, Fabregas, Henry + Veira). ManU and Arsenal's success have also been built on previous success. And Liverpool hasn't spent much, but also not won much recently (sorry guys, but it's true) and their victorious Champion's League team was definitely not "bought" (Gerrard, Carragher, Hyppia, Smicer). After Chelsea's sell-out and big-name spending, other teams had to start spending big to keep up with them (think Torres, Berbatov etc.) The lack of big signings is also why not many are backing Arsenal's chances this year...
So just keep f#cking up the beautiful game with your oil money.
From jcverm on Tue Nov 11 10:48AM
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fitbutfrustrated i very much doubt it, its the special one who shall succeed SAF at Man Poo
To Danny, i have been about, best bit about 9am thru rest day reading the comments on GS, TT and ED
From chuggen84 on Tue Nov 11 10:49AM
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60 LOL
Maybe I'm not explaining myself well best player you've seen live whetehr it was consistent performance or regular pieces of brilliance (that led to goals or stopped goals) and give a brief account
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 10:56AM
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jcvern et all; Chelsea never had much of a historyof winning things prior to the arrival of their russian sugar daddy, except for being in administration (ie bankrupt) in the 1970's so it's no big deal, but Man City have history (even Matt Busby and Dennis Law played for them!). So it says something that too Man City fans seem to be very happy to sell their football souls for some dubious silverware! What will happen in future to the youth football academies where local football tallent is SUPPOSED to be nurtered?
From jonathangrosskopf on Tue Nov 11 10:56AM
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62
Don't panic johnathongrasshopper there will always be footie at every level
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 10:59AM
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oi, i'm an academic and an ac/dc fan!
From nicktprince on Tue Nov 11 11:06AM
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66 Yeah Danny not a bad effort as you say fairly tenuous link to prem tho
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 11:07AM
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Oh okay FBF, Then il stick to my original answer. I have great memories of Henry at highbury, i remember spurs fans used to sh** themselves as soon as henry got the ball. U just saw them all go so quiet. I think the yido's were dancing around their living rooms when they heard he joined barcelona. Then the yids come straight back down to earth when they found out he went for the same amount they bought Bent for.Lol
From jay8my on Tue Nov 11 11:09AM
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ive only ever seen 2 games watched from the stands in england which is why i couldnt possibly name the best player from what ive actually seen, Bournmouth V Fulham Pre season Friendly back in the John Collins / Collins John era (lol) and Roy Keanes Testimonial. Whats the average price of a ticket for a prem game these days?? i once watched dundee v kilmarnock for entrance of £2 and they game me a £2.50 programme for free, maybe thats why they went titsup lol
From chuggen84 on Tue Nov 11 11:10AM
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68 - Yeah, get it off your chest, that's the best way. AAACDCA - Academics and AC/DC Anonymous.
From g_hine on Tue Nov 11 11:10AM
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Nice pic today, Jose's smile make my knees wobbly
From chrissy.jb_85 on Tue Nov 11 11:12AM
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70 lol Great shout on Bent however he may still come good under magic Harry
71 lol
72 lol
Funny day!
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 11:13AM
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73 er not sure what you meanmate
When I say live I'm mean as in there at the ground sorry mate
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 11:15AM
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62 - You're right, we only won 5 trophies in the 10 years before The Russian took over at Chelsea. Not much at all, Man City on the other hand haven't won anything on over 30 years much more history than Chelsea - ancient history.
From rag2706 on Tue Nov 11 11:15AM
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#75 Danny with all due respect i dont give sh** how many hes scored in the last few months, u cant justify that for him costing the same amount as Henry. henry was magic, Bents just a one trick pony!!!
From jay8my on Tue Nov 11 11:15AM
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79 to fair Jay the price diffential was mainly based on age
From fitbutfrustrated on Tue Nov 11 11:16AM
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