Kiss and make up
Thu Nov 20 08:55AM
If last night's game in Berlin proved anything, it is that Germans are capable of caring just as little about international friendlies as England.
Most of the friendly faces we got to know and love at the World Cup and Euro 2008 were missing.
There was no Philipp Lahm, bombing forward from left-back and getting caught woefully out of position.
No Torsten Frings prowling around kicking people and smashing in 30-yard screamers like some latter-day Paul Breitner.
No Jens Lehmann, whose public barneys with team-mates and inimitable clowning are now a thing of the past.
And no Michael Ballack, puffing his chest out like Eric Cantona after swallowing a balloon and doing really very little.
Mario Gomez did play, and Early Doors can confirm that he is still rubbish, although not as rubbish as right-back Arne Friedrich who contrived to make Stewart Downing look like Garrincha.
England dominated so much that Fabio Capello had to do the international football equivalent of putting the fat, uncoordinated kid in goal to even up a lop-sided playground kickabout.
Scott Carson's attempt to get 45 confidence-boosting minutes under his belt was somewhat undermined by the almighty mix-up with John Terry that led to the German equaliser, as the pair showed all the teamwork of the Chuckle Brothers attempting to carry a trestle table up a flight of stairs.
- - -
Up in Glasgow, nobody was watching the game. Rather, their eyes were trained on the benches in the hope of seeing Terry Butcher get Diego Maradona in a headlock.
Sadly El Diego was on disappointingly subdued form, only livening up to kiss and cuddle each and every member of his playing and coaching staff on the final whistle.
Butcher was long gone by that stage, beating a hasty retreat so as to avoid touching the hand of God.
As PR blunders go, Butcher's claim that he would never forgive Maradona for his actions in 1986 was a whopper.
Many Scottish people were uneasy about having an Englishman as assistant manager, and a staggeringly bitter rant against someone who the Scots have adopted as a national hero was never going to do much for Butcher's popularity north of the border.
- - -
When a massive news story breaks, you immediately know about it. You flick through the TV channels - all have shelved their scheduled programming for live coverage of the news. Captions flash, yellow bars pop up and 'experts' are hastily assembled on the phone.
E-mails fire back and forth between disbelieving offices and homes - 'Have you heard??' - as the news sweeps the country. People weep openly in the streets, displaying emotions they would keep firmly under wraps in less traumatic time.
Serious programmes like Newsnight talk about little else, while the next morning's papers all have the same lead story - the red-tops turning their banners black and the broadsheets going for the 'massive story only' format of printing a giant double-sized photo on both the front and back pages.
And so it was with John Sergeant's tragically misguided withdrawal from Strictly Come Dancing, supposedly because there was a "real danger" he might win - which he obviously would not have done.
In a week of high-profile withdrawals, rumour has it Fabio Capello considered hauling Sergeant down to Watford, where England medics would have checked whether his pride really was wounded.
Having watched every moment of the hour-long 'It Takes Two' special last night (some bits twice) Early Doors pays tribute to the insane level of hysteria generate by a bloke dancing badly on TV.
Sky News in particular outdid itself, abandoning a story about a suspected murderer escaping from hospital to cover the Sergeant farrago.
It hardly seemed possible before now, but clearly football still has much to learn when it comes to getting worked up about complete irrelevance.
Early Doors wishes Sergeant well on his entirely coincidental all-expenses-paid Caribbean cruise. Come on Christine Bleakley.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "It was embarrassing. We have short-changed the fans, especially with Christmas coming up." Northern Ireland boss Nigel Worthington prepares for a new career preparing press releases for Strictly Come Dancing bosses.
DEBUT OF THE DAY: Former bin man Steve Savidan, who played the second half of France's goalless friendly against Uruguay. Although any call-up by Sugar Ray Domenech should probably come with an asterisk by it, Early Doors can happily report that Savidan is a decent player, and almost scored an overhead kick last night.
FOREIGN VIEW: "Only Lippi wins" - Gazzetta dello Sport says the only upside of Italy's drab 1-1 against Greece was that Marcello Lippi set a new national record of 31 games unbeaten as Azzurri coach - compiled either side of his post-World Cup hiatus.
COMING UP: Lots of reaction from last night's games, including England player ratings as awarded by somebody who was actually paying attention and a blow-by-blow Maradona watch. Plus all sorts of other gubbins here.
There's no live football today, but you can click here to follow the rest of England's one-day international defeat to India, as Yuvraj Singh bids to win a third Honda motorcycle.
got done with my paper an hour ago. i said to myself, should i sleep 5 hours and then wake up for class? or should i wait up for ED maybe he can cheer me up with his humor and undeniable charm and wit.. guess what? am getting 4hrs of sleep and am pissed. good day to you (you are probably having breakfast in bed and arguing with yourself in the posts below now that yourw ork for he day is done)
From moody_tariq on Thu Nov 20 08:58AMmorning all
From mattymogo on Thu Nov 20 09:00AMmorning matty..(and am off to bed).
From moody_tariq on Thu Nov 20 09:05AMdowning sucks, bents mr kipling slice sucks
From mattymogo on Thu Nov 20 09:05AMturd - - oh my gosh scott terry is a plum
From alificomc on Thu Nov 20 09:08AMArti Arti Where are you?? You predicted Germany would beat "England's pub team 4-1" HAHAHAHA We had a makeshift team and still dealt wiv 'Ze Germans'. Looking back, if we did have all of our players available it could have been another 5-1. Im sure West Hams very own Upson impressed you too, now why doesn't he play like that for West Ham??
From jay8my on Thu Nov 20 09:09AMSpot on ED. Glad someone can point out the victory for what it was worth last night. Most of the other sites are hyping the win up to the level of the famous 5-1 that sent Sven mad. In fact winning a big game as England manager has sent loads of managers mad. Except Mclaren, who was already mad.
From danny_saks on Thu Nov 20 09:10AMFrom what i heard, most of last nights games were rubbish..... Still though, i would've much preferred watching them to being stuck doing college work... so Given the season that's nearly upon us, bah humbug...
From devilwillrot on Thu Nov 20 09:13AMmorning fellow nutters!
From mickr273 on Thu Nov 20 09:13AMMorning Howay Mick,
Danny it was an unexpectedly good performance from a make-shift side, u gotta admit that at least. Germany are ranked 2nd in the world.....which obviously counts for nothing these days!!From jay8my on Thu Nov 20 09:16AMEy up Mick. Yeah Will, I heard the games were pretty shoddy too. Still, I'm sure Johnny won't agree regarding Wales win.
From danny_saks on Thu Nov 20 09:18AMOh yeah I'm with you there Jay. But as much as the crowd obviously wanted to see a decent German performance, I'm not sure the players were so bothered. In fact, had our A-team been out, it would have probably been a worse game. At least our lads had something to play for.
From danny_saks on Thu Nov 20 09:19AM#10
Brazil 6 - 2 Portugal
That was a good game
From mattymogo on Thu Nov 20 09:20AM3 & 6 - I WOULD NOT CONTRIBUTE SUCH RUBBISH TO EARLY DOORS. I WRITE WITH FEELING!
MY ARTICLES ARE WELL WRITTEN WITH MEANING AND PEOPLE BOW TO MY GLORY BECAUSE I AM KING OF THE BLOGS!!!!
I WILL ONE DAY MAKE YOU BOW TO ME. WHY DO YOU HATE ME AS I AM A VERY RESPECTED JOURNALIST WITH MANY AWARDS AND ACCOLADES ON MY CV!
I HAVE TO GO AND PREPARE MY BLOG FOR TODAY. MY BLOG IS THE BEST BLOG ON YAHOO/EUROSPORT. IT ALSO HAS PROPER PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE PROPER OPINIONS AND TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.
GOOD DAY
JIM WHITE - AWARD WINNING JOURNALIST
From jimmywhite41 on Thu Nov 20 09:21AMTerry you coward. Get back there and land him a big 'un!!!!!!!!!
From eliotot on Thu Nov 20 09:22AMMust admit. was surprised we won that one last night!
Only got the Scotland highlights up here, and I felt sorry for them. They deserved something from the game. They certainly did'nt roll over for the Argies!
From mickr273 on Thu Nov 20 09:22AMArti farti has gone rather quiet today.
From eliotot on Thu Nov 20 09:23AMHe was up dead early with you on the blog discussing the result Eliotot.
From danny_saks on Thu Nov 20 09:24AMMorning guys I really enjoyed the football cause it reminded me what an ace tune the Verve Bitter Sweet Symphony was and also reminded me that Lara is out tomorrow it looks ace on the ad doesnt it.
From anne_helm on Thu Nov 20 09:25AMPeace to u jay,danny,mick and any other.
One question for the day whose answer will keep me happy for the rest of the day.Who scored the winning goal for England yesterday?peace
From jacknfor on Thu Nov 20 09:26AMMick, well you will live in a country thats 20 years behind the times... ;) And while the fallout from that comment happens (someone has to spark debate on here!) I'm off to an accountancy course. Have a nice day people.
From danny_saks on Thu Nov 20 09:26AMmattymogo, apologies.. I didn't hear about that game... Not that hearing i could've been watching it will make me any less "bah humbuggy"... But anyway! At least there's highlights of that to look forward to, right?
From devilwillrot on Thu Nov 20 09:28AMSee ya Danny
From anne_helm on Thu Nov 20 09:29AMJack #23, The answer is the same helmet that gifted Ze Germans their goal.
From jay8my on Thu Nov 20 09:30AMjim white = twatgland i'd rather bow in front of george michael or ilurvemen22
morning peeps, i did not know the scores of the games till i came into work this morning my other half had me watching harryfuckingpotter because she refused to watch the football!!! it's ok tho, i had my wicked way
Well done Wales average age of 22 and we beat Denmark. We put Arsenal youngsters to shame lol! Arti, both the teams you support areshit!!!!! why don't you support proper teams!!!!!
Jay i agree the rankings are utter rubbish. Wales are ranked something silly like 72, play in a very difficult qualifying group and have teams like saudi arabia who play teams like Mongolia every game it really is utter @#$%!!!!
From iamevz on Thu Nov 20 09:31AMMorning Danny, I couldn't agree more about the B team mentality.. At least they're not gonna roll over and let their stomachs be rubbed just because they couldn't be bothered putting up any resistance.....
From devilwillrot on Thu Nov 20 09:32AMJack peace but didnt he have to make up for his freddie at the other end peace
From anne_helm on Thu Nov 20 09:32AM#23 He was responsible for the equaliser!! He had to score the winner to make up for screwing up!!
From invitedgatecrasher on Thu Nov 20 09:33AMI was the only one on here who believed totally in Don Capello when he was appointed.I remember there was some reserve by some people on here about his appointment.I will say he has turned things round and England is becoming performant.Peace
How are u anne?PeaceFrom jacknfor on Thu Nov 20 09:33AMdont say your a Jock hater danny boy!
From mickr273 on Thu Nov 20 09:35AM
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