Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Vive le Gallas!

Fri Nov 21 08:44AM

Early Doors is not one to sit on the fence. We absolutely love the French. Without them the Premier League would be a dull, cliché-laden insult to our intelligence, and Arsenal would be a Championship side managed by Bruce Rioch.

It all began with Eric ‘Ooh Aah' Cantona, who bizarrely landed on our shores in the colours of Leeds United. But Cantona was a genius. A quick hop into bed with her off Men Behaving Badly (allegedly), who happened to be Lee Chapman's wife, and he was off to Manchester United. Gabriel Heinze, listen and learn.

Then there was the moment Cantona attacked a fan at Selhurst Park. It wasn't the first time such an incident had happened, but while Brian Clough and alike had opted for clips around ears and old-fashioned fisticuffs, Eric launched a kung-fu kick. Timeless. And then he talked about sardines.

The subject of ED's next French love affair was David Ginola, a player so impossibly groomed he literally sexed his way past defenders. Lee Dixon, Gary Neville and Stuart Pearce were among the grizzled full-backs he seduced, each overwhelmed by the shiny tones of his perfect hair.

"It never ceases to amaze me the lengths that some people will go to try and speak to me or meet me," said Ginola. Really?

Many more have followed in his wake. Unlike Mark Hughes, Thierry Henry was both a scorer of great goals and a great goal scorer. Patrick Vieira was a colossus and the only man in the Premier League who could match Roy Keane for intensity. Nicolas Anelka has been inconsistent, but occasionally inspired.

But the French invasion has not only ushered in a generation of brilliant footballers. By its very nature this influx of free-spirited personalities has led to a new openness in the ranks. As William Gallas proved yesterday, the French are a refreshingly honest bunch. And ED is eternally grateful.

After all, Arsenal are the most guarded club in the Premier League. Pay a visit to their media centre and PR people hover like Stasi agents ready to pounce on anything untoward. London Colney is like the former Soviet Union, and anybody who breaks ranks should be treated like Boris Yeltsin.

For this reason ED loves Gallas unconditionally. While Theo Walcott was studying the guide to footballing clichés, Gallas stood up, took aim and shot from the hip. He didn't call his team cowards to raise his own profile; he did it because he felt it needed to be said.

Ultimately what difference can it make to Arsenal? If Gallas and Robin van Persie hate each other, they hate each other. As any good psychiatrist will tell you the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one. And Arsenal clearly have plenty.

Predictably, Wenger is furious. He will almost certainly strip Gallas of the captaincy and Arsenal's media centre will probably ban everybody but Arsenal.com from making the annoyingly complicated journey. But having filled his squad with Frenchmen, surely Wenger should have seen this coming?

- - -

Fabio Capello has been hit by the credit crunch. The England manager apparently does his banking in Italy and with the pound diving like Steven Gerrard has lost about £1 million from his annual salary.

ED would advise putting a substantial amount of money on England not winning the next World Cup to make up the deficit.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "He just lost it because we snuffed him out of the game. He had the nerve to say he didn't touch me but that's only because I got out of his way. Then he realised he was in the wrong and tried to apologise but I wasn't accepting that." Tiago Silva shoots down Cristiano Ronaldo in the wake of Brazil's 6-2 mauling of Portugal.

TALKING POINT: Top of the Pops is back for Christmas, but which football show would you like to see reinstated? Jossie's Giants? Saint and Greavsie?

FOREIGN VIEW: Forty million German men wince at Bild's report of Saarbrucken fan Dirk Zimmer, who was bitten in the penis by a police dog as he attempted to take a shortcut through a park before a local derby against Homburg.

The result was a two-centimetre wound and a four-day stay in hospital - and Zimmer has the bloody pants to prove it. No really, Dirk, you didn't have to.

"I am a peaceful fan, but the police treated me like a hooligan. It is absurd that the dog was let loose on me," moaned Zimmer.

Saarbrucken police chief Peter Becker hit back: "The park was closed because we feared there could be rioting. We communicated this through megaphones and also told Mr Zimmer. He insulted the dogs' leader. Colleagues without animals told him to get back. He obeyed at first, but then came back and the dogs were set on him. The animal got him by the jacket and - because he tripped - also in the abdomen."

COMING UP: All the team news ahead of a packed weekend of football action and LIVE coverage of the Premier League all weekend.

Comments31 - 60 of 683
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doubt it!
From jay8my on Fri Nov 21 09:29AM
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Morning all! What a lovely morning. Chill, crisp and with the promise of snow in the air. It brings to mind the American poet Rober Frost.
Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow...
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep.
Gallas should be horse whipped through the streets of Islington and serve the scoundrel right.
Only language these people understand
From monkeylord on Fri Nov 21 09:30AM
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Ur hair is like a bird's nest jay8my
From eoghan_quigg on Fri Nov 21 09:30AM
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Good morning all! How are we on this fine and funky Friday? Its snowing here! And what was it I said about taking Gallas over Carragher anyday? I don't mind admitting when I'm wrong...
From danny_saks on Fri Nov 21 09:31AM
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Doubt is the stigma of Thomas Master Jay. I advise caution.
Can I have a banana please?
From monkeylord on Fri Nov 21 09:32AM
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mornin all. i called this (Gallas) yesterday to be EDs subject today. Predictable!
From kgh_r on Fri Nov 21 09:34AM
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#34 lol
Monkey i will remember that, now heres a banana...enjoy.
From jay8my on Fri Nov 21 09:34AM
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oh great monkey boy is back! now all we need is the turkey, rabbit and frog and the zoo can open again!
From mickr273 on Fri Nov 21 09:35AM
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Alreeeeeeet Mick howay man, Ya duvva have ta say about the zoo animals, they will all invade us like.
From jay8my on Fri Nov 21 09:36AM
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Here's a banana monkey boy. Shove it up your @rse and use it as a butt plug! Might stop all the hot air you spout from escaping!
From mickr273 on Fri Nov 21 09:38AM
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Hey guys do us all a favour, if Rachel Hylton is in da bottom 2, vote da junkie jail bird out, man I hate her
From eoghan_quigg on Fri Nov 21 09:39AM
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Mister Mick. Do I sense negativity in your attitude this morning?
What have I done to rile you so? We animals can help cure stress you know. I myself have a certificate in holistic theraphy. Would you like to talk?
What are your views on Mon. Gallas and his public venting of spleen?
Is he right to expose Wenger's 'Ar se of darkness'?
From monkeylord on Fri Nov 21 09:40AM
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close Jay, but its not duvva, its divvint
From mickr273 on Fri Nov 21 09:41AM
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I am quite liking the poetic monkey. Mildy better than a philosophical hamster.
From danny_saks on Fri Nov 21 09:43AM
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Pires' best moment was the hideous dive against portsmouth that kept arsenal's unbeaten season on track. he had to move his right leg a good foot or two to make sure he made contact with the defender.
From kgh_r on Fri Nov 21 09:43AM
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Mick i reluctantly accept that its divvint not duvva, sometimes its hard to spell the words the same way they are pronounced. i divvint nah.
From jay8my on Fri Nov 21 09:45AM
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Mister Mick judging from your avatar you are a meber of the professional classes and as such I would deem you financially solvent and therefore anyillegal entry of fruit into my private areas would be a matter for my lawyers.
But please Mister Mick let us not quarrel.
Let's join toghher and discuss football.
Is Joe Kinnear getting the credit he deserves?
Does he deserve credit?
Could Mike Ashley rise his reputation from the Ashes?
From monkeylord on Fri Nov 21 09:46AM
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GOBBLE GOBBLE DID SOMEONE WANT ME GOBBLE GOBBLE BBWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKK CLUCK CLUCK
IF BERNARD MATTHEWS COME IN TELL HIM TOFUCK OFF PLEASE. HE'S NOT GOING TO KILL ME THIS CHRISTMAS INSTEAD HE CAN HAVE MY MOTHER IN LAW GOBBLE GOBBLE CLUCK CLUCK
From the_mysterious_turkey on Fri Nov 21 09:47AM
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thats it Jay. Well done mate. I'll make a geordie out of you yet! ;)
From mickr273 on Fri Nov 21 09:47AM
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Peace to u jay,wole,mick,bob and the rest.
Gallas,should better express his mind within the club and not on the media.The dirty linen is always washed in the family and not on the public place.Peace
From jacknfor on Fri Nov 21 09:47AM
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Man she ruined 1 of my fav songs of all time in One by U2, ehhhh "im gonna sing one love by mary j blige" wat a doofus.
From eoghan_quigg on Fri Nov 21 09:48AM
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Morning fellow super reds, freaks, pets, men, woman , shemales and JAY
From fitbutfrustrated on Fri Nov 21 09:48AM
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Sorry for the hostility monkey boy. In a bad mood this morning!
From mickr273 on Fri Nov 21 09:49AM
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AAAAAHHHHH jude good to see you !!! jude's hot!!!!
From roxydgurl on Fri Nov 21 09:49AM
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Jack is Jude!!
From ljojackson on Fri Nov 21 09:49AM
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Jude is right, XFactor does indeed suck. But I'm in such a good mood today I don't care. Hi FBF... Mind telling me which category you feel I fall under there?
From danny_saks on Fri Nov 21 09:50AM
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59 - I am gonna have to say YES, but that is because you remind me of a young fresh bobo the clown! you could make the final!
From louiswalshishere on Fri Nov 21 09:51AM
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63 Yeah that pissed me off aswell what atwat! Mary J Bilgepump indeed!!!
From fitbutfrustrated on Fri Nov 21 09:51AM
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Good morning Mister Jude. Keeping well I hope?
May I say your hair is looking particularly lovely today. Do you use Fructis at all?
Hello Mister Butfrustrated are you enjoying your morning so far?
Can I have some Brazil nuts please?
From monkeylord on Fri Nov 21 09:52AM
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any sign of bretney.brown or any of the brown clan?
From kgh_r on Fri Nov 21 09:52AM
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