Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Vive le Gallas!

Fri Nov 21 08:44AM

Early Doors is not one to sit on the fence. We absolutely love the French. Without them the Premier League would be a dull, cliché-laden insult to our intelligence, and Arsenal would be a Championship side managed by Bruce Rioch.

It all began with Eric ‘Ooh Aah' Cantona, who bizarrely landed on our shores in the colours of Leeds United. But Cantona was a genius. A quick hop into bed with her off Men Behaving Badly (allegedly), who happened to be Lee Chapman's wife, and he was off to Manchester United. Gabriel Heinze, listen and learn.

Then there was the moment Cantona attacked a fan at Selhurst Park. It wasn't the first time such an incident had happened, but while Brian Clough and alike had opted for clips around ears and old-fashioned fisticuffs, Eric launched a kung-fu kick. Timeless. And then he talked about sardines.

The subject of ED's next French love affair was David Ginola, a player so impossibly groomed he literally sexed his way past defenders. Lee Dixon, Gary Neville and Stuart Pearce were among the grizzled full-backs he seduced, each overwhelmed by the shiny tones of his perfect hair.

"It never ceases to amaze me the lengths that some people will go to try and speak to me or meet me," said Ginola. Really?

Many more have followed in his wake. Unlike Mark Hughes, Thierry Henry was both a scorer of great goals and a great goal scorer. Patrick Vieira was a colossus and the only man in the Premier League who could match Roy Keane for intensity. Nicolas Anelka has been inconsistent, but occasionally inspired.

But the French invasion has not only ushered in a generation of brilliant footballers. By its very nature this influx of free-spirited personalities has led to a new openness in the ranks. As William Gallas proved yesterday, the French are a refreshingly honest bunch. And ED is eternally grateful.

After all, Arsenal are the most guarded club in the Premier League. Pay a visit to their media centre and PR people hover like Stasi agents ready to pounce on anything untoward. London Colney is like the former Soviet Union, and anybody who breaks ranks should be treated like Boris Yeltsin.

For this reason ED loves Gallas unconditionally. While Theo Walcott was studying the guide to footballing clichés, Gallas stood up, took aim and shot from the hip. He didn't call his team cowards to raise his own profile; he did it because he felt it needed to be said.

Ultimately what difference can it make to Arsenal? If Gallas and Robin van Persie hate each other, they hate each other. As any good psychiatrist will tell you the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one. And Arsenal clearly have plenty.

Predictably, Wenger is furious. He will almost certainly strip Gallas of the captaincy and Arsenal's media centre will probably ban everybody but Arsenal.com from making the annoyingly complicated journey. But having filled his squad with Frenchmen, surely Wenger should have seen this coming?

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Fabio Capello has been hit by the credit crunch. The England manager apparently does his banking in Italy and with the pound diving like Steven Gerrard has lost about £1 million from his annual salary.

ED would advise putting a substantial amount of money on England not winning the next World Cup to make up the deficit.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "He just lost it because we snuffed him out of the game. He had the nerve to say he didn't touch me but that's only because I got out of his way. Then he realised he was in the wrong and tried to apologise but I wasn't accepting that." Tiago Silva shoots down Cristiano Ronaldo in the wake of Brazil's 6-2 mauling of Portugal.

TALKING POINT:  Top of the Pops is back for Christmas, but which football show would you like to see reinstated? Jossie's Giants? Saint and Greavsie?

FOREIGN VIEW: Forty million German men wince at Bild's report of Saarbrucken fan Dirk Zimmer, who was bitten in the penis by a police dog as he attempted to take a shortcut through a park before a local derby against Homburg.

The result was a two-centimetre wound and a four-day stay in hospital - and Zimmer has the bloody pants to prove it. No really, Dirk, you didn't have to.

"I am a peaceful fan, but the police treated me like a hooligan. It is absurd that the dog was let loose on me," moaned Zimmer.

Saarbrucken police chief Peter Becker hit back: "The park was closed because we feared there could be rioting. We communicated this through megaphones and also told Mr Zimmer. He insulted the dogs' leader. Colleagues without animals told him to get back. He obeyed at first, but then came back and the dogs were set on him. The animal got him by the jacket and - because he tripped - also in the abdomen."

COMING UP: All the team news ahead of a packed weekend of football action and LIVE coverage of the Premier League all weekend.

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