Justice for Ronaldo!
Mon Dec 01 08:52AM
Cristiano Ronaldo will stop at nothing to hog the headlines - even rank stupidity.
Manchester United's victory at neighbours City might have been remembered for the football had Ronaldo not been sent off for his two-fisted batting of a corner.
And Early Doors has photographic evidence, published on the right, that proves the move was in fact premeditated and he had spent the week perfecting it in training.
Just what was he thinking? As ever, we need look no further than United's oracle Sir Alex Ferguson for an explanation: "He was trying to protect himself from the ball hitting his face."
It is a fair point. What is a player supposed to do when he has a ball hurtling towards his head at high speed? Football, as the name suggests, is meant to be played with the feet.
Wayne Rooney should really be more careful when he sends in corners at that sort of height - he'll have someone's eye out.
Ronaldo has survived several brushes with danger, and in some cases the ball has even bounced off his noggin into the goal. But sooner or later somebody is going to get hurt.
Rumour has it that in a dim and distant past known as the 1990s, mysterious creatures named Quinnasaurus and Duncandisorderly roamed the Premier League, specialising in using the upper part of their body to redirect the ball, and that the practice even had its own, quaint, name: the 'header'.
But Early Doors finds such myths hard to believe. After all, why would anyone risk those lucrative endorsement deals with cosmetics companies by putting their pretty face in the line of fire?
It was just a shame that ref Howard Webb did not realise that Ronaldo has got a high-profile award to collect this week. Any blemish to his tanned complexion, sparklingly white teeth or perfectly coiffed hair would be a tragedy - not just for Ronaldo but for the millions of viewers who will be treated to his rare beauty when he lifts the Ballon d'Or.
- - -
The magic of the FA Cup was more Tommy Cooper than David Blaine when the third round draw produced 32
ties of stultifying boredom.
Without pausing to adjust its fez, the Cup actually sawed a lady in half before pulling nothing but rabbit droppings out of its hat despite a weekend of second-round upsets.
The cameras were on hand to record the joy, the excitement and the crushing disappointment at the eight non-league clubs still in the competition.
In some senses, Barrow secured a plum tie. On the one hand, it was the draw everyone wants - a Premier League side away. On the other, it was Middlesbrough. It is thought the teams are considering switching the fixture to Barrow to increase gate receipts.
Blyth Spartans, magnificently, are sponsored by Viz, the magazine that has spent the best part of 30 years proving that fart jokes never get old.
If they see off Bournemouth in a replay, they will play hapless Blackburn in a game that will see the Premier League side attempt to pull off a giant-killing.
Histon drew Swansea City, although they are at home so will be spared the full force of the South Wales atmosphere that forces local derbies to kick off at increasingly early times.
If Swansea-Cardiff games are brought forward any more they will end up being played the previous evening.
Forest Green Rovers get the magic of Derby and Torquay got Blackpool, both are games that - Stanley Matthews aside - offer the non-leaguers no glamour but every chance of a swift exit.
Eastwood of the Northern Premier League may have been the most deserving of a big tie after ditching Wycombe but will get no such thing.
They will either travel eight miles to face Notts County, or take on another non-league outfit in the shape of Kettering.
But the real hard-luck story belongs to Droylsden, who were putting a whipping on Chesterfield when the match was abandoned because of fog.
Funnily enough, the Championship game between Preston and Bristol City went ahead in no-less-murky conditions. Wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that it was live on TV?
Droylsden boss Dave Pace said: "We looked comfortable after taking the lead and capable of going on to win. Now we'll have to do it all again. I think it's an outrageous decision."
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "They are not God." Paranoid Phil Scolari suspects the almighty might be shirking his refereeing duties and sending in mortal ringers like Mike Dean.
TACTICAL GENIUS OF THE WEEKEND: Hull striker Dean Windass may no longer be equipped to play at the highest level but he was arguably Hull's most influential player against Stoke City on Saturday. Windass went on a one-man mission to disrupt Rory Delap's long throws, strategically 'warming up' right in front of Delap as he prepared to run up.
The runner-up award goes to Hull keeper Boaz Myhill, who became the first man to test the theory that it is better to give Stoke a corner than let Delap get his hands on the ball. The Welshman coolly knocked the ball behind when under pressure, rather than whacking it out for a throw.
INJURY OF THE WEEKEND: The NFL injury list weekend made interesting reading when it came to the New York Giants' visit to the Washington Redskins. Kedric Golston (foot), Marcus Washington (ankle), Fred Robbins (shoulder), Plaxico Burress (self-inflicted gunshot wound).
Giants wide receiver Burress, who caught the winning touchdown in last season's Super Bowl, accidentally shot himself in the leg in a Manhattan nightclub on Friday.
The incident could land him in jail as well as hospital as the police ponder charging Burress with a firearms offence.
And before you start thinking Plaxico Burress is a silly name, remember: it's pronounced 'Plexico'.
FOREIGN VIEW: After another Real Madrid defeat, Marca has given up speculating if and when Bernd Schuster will get the push. Instead it is focussing on who they will buy once the German has gone - Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and Angel di Maria, apparently.
COMING UP: Brace yourselves for another blast of false hope on Merseyside - Liverpool will go top of the Premier League if they avoid a point at home to West Ham tonight. Follow it live from 20:00 UK time.
Morning all. What a beautiful day it is. I slept well last night after watching manu beat city. Was great watching Chelsea get beat, even better that the first goal was of side lol. class. U just gotta love van persie, cheers mate.
From ciaranreid on Mon Dec 01 08:54AMfalse hope? riight. we are top without torres. imagine havin ig a fit torres? wait until we get owen in january..UNBETABLE
morning.
From moody_tariq on Mon Dec 01 08:59AMoh and come on west ham!!
From ciaranreid on Mon Dec 01 09:00AMAhahahaha funny Ed today. Ronaldo...what was he thinking!? I mean no one can defend him or the result of his actions. you dont get a match ban for two yellows though do ya?
From tommihew on Mon Dec 01 09:01AMRonaldo will get an automatic one match ban, which means he will miss the carling cup match v blackburn, that he wouldn't be playing in anyway.
From ciaranreid on Mon Dec 01 09:02AMMorning all - Alex Ferguson: "He (Cristiano Ronaldo) was trying to protect himself from the ball hitting him in the face" WTF??? He's a professional footballer! Its called heading thefuckingball! Is it just me that would never get tired of punching SAF in the face?
From danny_saks on Mon Dec 01 09:03AMyeah thought so just had to check. nice one Ciaran cheers
From tommihew on Mon Dec 01 09:05AMPeace to all.
Before the deserved slagging off of Chelsea begins permit me congratulate Arsenal and jay as well as any othernal arsenal supporter.peace
From jacknfor on Mon Dec 01 09:07AMI think ronaldo deserved punishment! What was that ?! After all Man U won so that doesn't matter at all! Go man utd!
From ceko_tc on Mon Dec 01 09:07AMmorning all, weird ronaldo, probz only did it so he would be in the papers, lil bit of attention.
Terrys tackle on sagna was vile, easy straight red, well done arsenal
come on liverpool tonight, 3 points clear
From mattymogo on Mon Dec 01 09:08AMI think Scolari's philosophy of controlling the game without really creating any decent goal opportunity is just plain stupid and it is already showing its limits.The essential in football is to score the goals and win the games.He needs to be told that and maybe begin changing this plan which doesnt seem to work.Peace
From jacknfor on Mon Dec 01 09:12AM"UNBETABLE" huh? that's right moody_tariq cause you gone watch all your money go down the drain if u bet on Liverpool winning the league.
From dark.soul_bullet4myvalentine on Mon Dec 01 09:15AMRonaldo is quality in the air. Why would he handball it when he was in a great scoring position?!?!?!
It was a mistake on his behalf and common sense from the ref went out of the window. I wouldn't expect anything less from Howard Webb. The bloke is a @#$% moron!!
From coyles_82 on Mon Dec 01 09:16AMScolari is also to blame maybe for the low morale of the players.I remember in the away leg match against Bordeaux in the CL when we won by 4-0,he said he wasn't satisfied cos we didnt control the game.I believe that is all nonesense.He is just confirming what i said on Thursday.Sincerely after the Bordeaux game on Wednesday,i foresaw a defeat.Is Scolari really that good a manager as the media make him to be?peace
From jacknfor on Mon Dec 01 09:16AMJack im a Gooner too man so let me congratulate you too. May the mutual back slapping commence
From tommihew on Mon Dec 01 09:17AMok folks,let me submerge my disappointment in a load of work this morning.Catch u guys later in the afternoon.Peace
From jacknfor on Mon Dec 01 09:20AMI love reporters, they've got nothing to say but they've got to keep their job so they winge about an obvious mistake and make it something its not, everyone knows why he did it but oh no not this reporter he's too busy going 'sir sir, I've finished that article!' How about you get a real bloody job and stop filling the british public with lies you sad muppet.
From david_cox99 on Mon Dec 01 09:20AMMorning Jack. Bet Jay is on cloud 9 at the mo. Be prepares for Cries of Van Persie!!!!! so accompany Nasri!!!!! at any moment now. Matty, fingers crossed for 'Pool tonight.
From danny_saks on Mon Dec 01 09:22AMFair enough Ronaldo deserved a booking for the handball; but the first booking was a terrible decision as he cleanly won the ball with virtually no player contact; Hence should not have been sent off.
Put this into perpective with Terry's challenge which could have ended Sagna's career and he gets a yellow! Referees need to be made accountable.From aphaynes on Mon Dec 01 09:23AMhoward webb had no choice but to send him off really
From mattymogo on Mon Dec 01 09:23AMisnt it funny people with funny sounding irish names always support man u and never there own country's teams they even have to support scottish teams and as for fals ehopes liverpool win tonight they are top whats false about that full of @#$% the people who write this article.
From brynclegg_4 on Mon Dec 01 09:23AMwho do yahoo get to write this rubbish at the top of this page - obviously someone with deep resentment of quality and skill on the pitch - footballers world player of the year and all this person can do is waste a web page on such sarcasm
From lukee2136 on Mon Dec 01 09:23AMThank you, jacknfor. A dip in form in November rather than February often happens to sides that end up as champions.
Why would Liverpool want to buy Owen?
From james_ssmith on Mon Dec 01 09:23AMronaldo was scared of damaging that pretty ee face of his the wolly
From quinnbrosltd on Mon Dec 01 09:25AMWell done Arsenal, unless Liverpool run away with it (which is unlikely), the EPL should be a bit more exciting this year.
As for Ronaldo, that was just a stupid act by a stupid twathead. You gotta assume he thought he heard a whistle but who cares anyways, Utd beat City in the derby.
From kgh_r on Mon Dec 01 09:26AMIn my younger days I was always told "play to the whistle" - Ronaldo did got booked and sent off. So I suppose that the next time someone who is offside carries on and scores a disallowed goal and get's booked guess what they'll say!
From jumping.jehoshophot on Mon Dec 01 09:26AMJames - cos Torres is permanently injured and Keane can't hit a barn door with a shovel?
From danny_saks on Mon Dec 01 09:29AMDoes anyone know who writes "Early Doors?" Is it a nomme du guerre or a psedonym for someone who doersn't want us to know who they are/ Maybe if we find out , we'll get raided by MI5 or the terror squad like that tory politician!
From jonathangrosskopf on Mon Dec 01 09:31AMVan the Man does again for the gunners!! If we can keep him fit he could fire us to glory this season
From denisclohessy on Mon Dec 01 09:33AMGreat weekend for the Bhoys, Gooners, Scummers and Scousers!
Good second half performance by Arsenal although they got lucky with the 1st goal. Jay (like I said before, Van Persie is better than Adebayor)
Man Utd deserved their win, Ronaldo was laughable though!
Sunderland are going to be in bother this year if they don’t buck up their ideas, Keano needs to make his mind up.
Hopefully Liverpool will avoid the banana skins tonight.
Liverpool for the EPL
Rangers Suck!
From kevin1985kane on Mon Dec 01 09:34AM
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