Justice for Ronaldo!
Mon Dec 01 08:52AM
Cristiano Ronaldo will stop at nothing to hog the headlines - even rank stupidity.
Manchester United's victory at neighbours City might have been remembered for the football had Ronaldo not been sent off for his two-fisted batting of a corner.
And Early Doors has photographic evidence, published on the right, that proves the move was in fact premeditated and he had spent the week perfecting it in training.
Just what was he thinking? As ever, we need look no further than United's oracle Sir Alex Ferguson for an explanation: "He was trying to protect himself from the ball hitting his face."
It is a fair point. What is a player supposed to do when he has a ball hurtling towards his head at high speed? Football, as the name suggests, is meant to be played with the feet.
Wayne Rooney should really be more careful when he sends in corners at that sort of height - he'll have someone's eye out.
Ronaldo has survived several brushes with danger, and in some cases the ball has even bounced off his noggin into the goal. But sooner or later somebody is going to get hurt.
Rumour has it that in a dim and distant past known as the 1990s, mysterious creatures named Quinnasaurus and Duncandisorderly roamed the Premier League, specialising in using the upper part of their body to redirect the ball, and that the practice even had its own, quaint, name: the 'header'.
But Early Doors finds such myths hard to believe. After all, why would anyone risk those lucrative endorsement deals with cosmetics companies by putting their pretty face in the line of fire?
It was just a shame that ref Howard Webb did not realise that Ronaldo has got a high-profile award to collect this week. Any blemish to his tanned complexion, sparklingly white teeth or perfectly coiffed hair would be a tragedy - not just for Ronaldo but for the millions of viewers who will be treated to his rare beauty when he lifts the Ballon d'Or.
- - -
The magic of the FA Cup was more Tommy Cooper than David Blaine when the third round draw produced 32
ties of stultifying boredom.
Without pausing to adjust its fez, the Cup actually sawed a lady in half before pulling nothing but rabbit droppings out of its hat despite a weekend of second-round upsets.
The cameras were on hand to record the joy, the excitement and the crushing disappointment at the eight non-league clubs still in the competition.
In some senses, Barrow secured a plum tie. On the one hand, it was the draw everyone wants - a Premier League side away. On the other, it was Middlesbrough. It is thought the teams are considering switching the fixture to Barrow to increase gate receipts.
Blyth Spartans, magnificently, are sponsored by Viz, the magazine that has spent the best part of 30 years proving that fart jokes never get old.
If they see off Bournemouth in a replay, they will play hapless Blackburn in a game that will see the Premier League side attempt to pull off a giant-killing.
Histon drew Swansea City, although they are at home so will be spared the full force of the South Wales atmosphere that forces local derbies to kick off at increasingly early times.
If Swansea-Cardiff games are brought forward any more they will end up being played the previous evening.
Forest Green Rovers get the magic of Derby and Torquay got Blackpool, both are games that - Stanley Matthews aside - offer the non-leaguers no glamour but every chance of a swift exit.
Eastwood of the Northern Premier League may have been the most deserving of a big tie after ditching Wycombe but will get no such thing.
They will either travel eight miles to face Notts County, or take on another non-league outfit in the shape of Kettering.
But the real hard-luck story belongs to Droylsden, who were putting a whipping on Chesterfield when the match was abandoned because of fog.
Funnily enough, the Championship game between Preston and Bristol City went ahead in no-less-murky conditions. Wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that it was live on TV?
Droylsden boss Dave Pace said: "We looked comfortable after taking the lead and capable of going on to win. Now we'll have to do it all again. I think it's an outrageous decision."
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "They are not God." Paranoid Phil Scolari suspects the almighty might be shirking his refereeing duties and sending in mortal ringers like Mike Dean.
TACTICAL GENIUS OF THE WEEKEND: Hull striker Dean Windass may no longer be equipped to play at the highest level but he was arguably Hull's most influential player against Stoke City on Saturday. Windass went on a one-man mission to disrupt Rory Delap's long throws, strategically 'warming up' right in front of Delap as he prepared to run up.
The runner-up award goes to Hull keeper Boaz Myhill, who became the first man to test the theory that it is better to give Stoke a corner than let Delap get his hands on the ball. The Welshman coolly knocked the ball behind when under pressure, rather than whacking it out for a throw.
INJURY OF THE WEEKEND: The NFL injury list weekend made interesting reading when it came to the New York Giants' visit to the Washington Redskins. Kedric Golston (foot), Marcus Washington (ankle), Fred Robbins (shoulder), Plaxico Burress (self-inflicted gunshot wound).
Giants wide receiver Burress, who caught the winning touchdown in last season's Super Bowl, accidentally shot himself in the leg in a Manhattan nightclub on Friday.
The incident could land him in jail as well as hospital as the police ponder charging Burress with a firearms offence.
And before you start thinking Plaxico Burress is a silly name, remember: it's pronounced 'Plexico'.
FOREIGN VIEW: After another Real Madrid defeat, Marca has given up speculating if and when Bernd Schuster will get the push. Instead it is focussing on who they will buy once the German has gone - Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and Angel di Maria, apparently.
COMING UP: Brace yourselves for another blast of false hope on Merseyside - Liverpool will go top of the Premier League if they avoid a point at home to West Ham tonight. Follow it live from 20:00 UK time.
Why was Ronaldo protecting his face anyway? Surely its far to late, he should have done it when the Doctor dropped him as a baby, the ugly @#$%
From rag2706 on Mon Dec 01 09:34AMIt was pretty obvious to those actually watching the match that the first yellow card was an error as Ronaldo actually got the ball(as pointed out during the 5 live commentary) and the second yellow he thought he heard a whistle and that play had been halted. He wouldn`t have wanted a yellow card for heading the ball, after the whistle had blown, would he.
From mickwillie on Mon Dec 01 09:34AMDanny, Wednesday were the better team, but what disappointed most was that we let in three goals... I cannot see us managing to stay too far above the drop zone unless we spend on permanent players in the january window... woeful.
On the other hand well done Histon for doing Leeds
From g_hine on Mon Dec 01 09:35AMOk to all the obviously Man U fans berating the ED article...ITS A BIT OF FUN!!! Find your inner sense of humour and laugh at the cheeky commets made. Thats what the point of ED is. To make folks laugh. Its not supposed to be a serious article. DUH... heh heh my god
From tommihew on Mon Dec 01 09:35AMyep finger crossed danny but knowing liverpool they will miss the opppurtunity and draw tonight.
Arsenal not out the race yet???????
From mattymogo on Mon Dec 01 09:35AMbrynnclegg, your a moron and @#$%
From denisclohessy on Mon Dec 01 09:36AMJack, Chelsea don't know how to beat the big boys?
From kevin1985kane on Mon Dec 01 09:36AMbrynclegg_4, most Irish support Man U or Liverpool. Its a pretty even split. All Irish teams areshit and our decent players play in the UK so why shouldn't we support those teams. Liverpool have benefitted from years of quality Irish players and Irish fans.
From kgh_r on Mon Dec 01 09:36AMIf it was any other player getting sent off for handling the ball it would not have got the same attention!! Who cares lets move on and forget it!!
From rewandjew on Mon Dec 01 09:38AMJonathan don't go there. You're encouraging somebody to return with the spam line "There is only one Alex Chick" (I believe Chick is the one on the right in the group photo)
From james_ssmith on Mon Dec 01 09:39AMOh its funny when United fans defend Ronaldo when he was clearly in the wrong!
From kevin1985kane on Mon Dec 01 09:41AMronaldo is a puff he didn want to ruffle his hair wonder at stupid excuse will be used by sir alex
From quinnbrosltd on Mon Dec 01 09:41AMMorning g_hine. Fab game. Really exciting. Said I'd take another 5 goal thriller but didn't really want it to be quite that close.
From danny_saks on Mon Dec 01 09:41AM38 - Hear Hear!
From kevin1985kane on Mon Dec 01 09:42AMFinn Harps Suck!
From kevin1985kane on Mon Dec 01 09:42AMKev don't mention Sunderland and Keane. I said to the other half it will now be a case of 'will he walk or will he get pushed'. It did not go down well.
From danny_saks on Mon Dec 01 09:42AM36 - I'll second that aswell! Sláinte
From kevin1985kane on Mon Dec 01 09:43AMMatty 'Pool 3 points clear tonight? Hope so! Arseanl not consistent enough to win the league? Scolari not quite the God of football he was touted? Need 'Pool to keep Man Poo at bay.
From danny_saks on Mon Dec 01 09:44AM46 - I have to talk about the likes of Sunderland and Keano as Anne, Jay and Bob only let me say a few words about Liverpool everyday!
From kevin1985kane on Mon Dec 01 09:45AMjonathangrosskopf - u dont steal another mans hat lol
From mattymogo on Mon Dec 01 09:45AMMorning peeps,
Well done Arsenal, i think their problems with them is that they can beat teams like Man Utd & Chelsea but they get to cocky and arrogant when they play the lesser teams like Hull City, Man City & Aston Villa. They should take a leaf out of the Carling Cup side and play witha bit of respect. You don't really see Man Utd & Chelsea doing that do you unless it is a freak of nature!
I'm effing pee'd of with Stephen McPhail today as well. The overated knobcheese cost us the 3 points yesterday against the Jacks and nearly ended up losing it! But i'll take a point, Preston home this weekend and i can't desribe how big it is to win!
Anyway, i'm off for a bit now but Danny i'm so glad my Mrs. isn't into football because with yours being a Sudnerland supporter i bet it's been a bit dry lately lol!!!!!!
From johnnyevz82 on Mon Dec 01 09:45AMall irish teams suck they are @#$%
From quinnbrosltd on Mon Dec 01 09:45AMVP is the new Bergkamp
I always had more faith in VP's consistecy that Adebeyors. Just his injuries leave him out a bit too muchFrom tommihew on Mon Dec 01 09:48AMOwen's had his chance for Liverpool and blew it. I wouldn't want the scrawny get back anyway: he's well past his sell by date. Yes, Torres might have a bit of an injury but I'm sure he'll start to score soon. Look at him when he was at Spurs; the guy was lethal. Kuyt is useful as well. Tbh, my only worry is when Gerrard gets injured. We look a rudderless side with little forward motion. This was proved in the Fulham game. As for Ronaldo, by the letter of the law he has to be booked for deliberate handball. Alex McLeish (sp?) made a good point on MOTD last night. He said "you can either have common sense refereeing or consistency". For me I'd take consistency every time. I also liked RVP's comment after the Chelsea game when he said he had a goal ruled out for offside that should have stood against Chelsea last year so it's evened out now. I just hope we can go 3 points clear tonight and kick on from there. If we're still in with a shout of the league and still in Europe at Easter I'll be very happy. Actually scrap that. I wont be happy unless we win the League, FA cup and CL. Arise Sir Rafa Benitez!
From r.brown86 on Mon Dec 01 09:48AMI smaell envy and jelousy of Ronaldo who looks like a pretty boy, earns millions, has lots of good looking girls after him and is a a fab footballer. I think other fans would "die" to have Ronaldo in their team. Case of of the pot calling the kettle black!
From jumping.jehoshophot on Mon Dec 01 09:48AMu think irish teams are @#$%, you should see the Welsh league!
From johnnyevz82 on Mon Dec 01 09:50AMDanny, Keane won't be pushed thats for sure, who'd have the balls to do that, not Quinny anyways. He needs to buy a few defenders in Jan but other than that, they're not so bad.
From kgh_r on Mon Dec 01 09:50AMliverpool have no chance of winning the league its the only ship which is the premiership that hasnt docked in mersyside ha ha
From quinnbrosltd on Mon Dec 01 09:51AMMorning Johnny. Kev thats why I don't wanna hear about Sunderland. After the stuffing against Bolton I'll be lucky if I get any action this side of Xmas!
From danny_saks on Mon Dec 01 09:51AMhahaha~~~ ed~ very funny pic~~ ronaldo is a very good header of the ball~ so i guess maybe there was just one moment of hesitation with his position with regard to where the ball was coming that caught him out~~
From vitorlam on Mon Dec 01 09:52AM
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