Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Early Doors

Justice for Ronaldo!

Mon Dec 01 08:52AM

Cristiano Ronaldo will stop at nothing to hog the headlines - even rank stupidity.

Manchester United's victory at neighbours City might have been remembered for the football had Ronaldo not been sent off for his two-fisted batting of a corner.

And Early Doors has photographic evidence, published on the right, that proves the move was in fact premeditated and he had spent the week perfecting it in training.

Just what was he thinking? As ever, we need look no further than United's oracle Sir Alex Ferguson for an explanation: "He was trying to protect himself from the ball hitting his face."

It is a fair point. What is a player supposed to do when he has a ball hurtling towards his head at high speed? Football, as the name suggests, is meant to be played with the feet.

Wayne Rooney should really be more careful when he sends in corners at that sort of height - he'll have someone's eye out.

Ronaldo has survived several brushes with danger, and in some cases the ball has even bounced off his noggin into the goal. But sooner or later somebody is going to get hurt.

Rumour has it that in a dim and distant past known as the 1990s, mysterious creatures named Quinnasaurus and Duncandisorderly roamed the Premier League, specialising in using the upper part of their body to redirect the ball, and that the practice even had its own, quaint, name: the 'header'.

But Early Doors finds such myths hard to believe. After all, why would anyone risk those lucrative endorsement deals with cosmetics companies by putting their pretty face in the line of fire?

It was just a shame that ref Howard Webb did not realise that Ronaldo has got a high-profile award to collect this week. Any blemish to his tanned complexion, sparklingly white teeth or perfectly coiffed hair would be a tragedy - not just for Ronaldo but for the millions of viewers who will be treated to his rare beauty when he lifts the Ballon d'Or.

- - -

The magic of the FA Cup was more Tommy Cooper than David Blaine when the third round draw produced 32 ties of stultifying boredom.

Without pausing to adjust its fez, the Cup actually sawed a lady in half before pulling nothing but rabbit droppings out of its hat despite a weekend of second-round upsets.

The cameras were on hand to record the joy, the excitement and the crushing disappointment at the eight non-league clubs still in the competition.

In some senses, Barrow secured a plum tie. On the one hand, it was the draw everyone wants - a Premier League side away. On the other, it was Middlesbrough. It is thought the teams are considering switching the fixture to Barrow to increase gate receipts.

Blyth Spartans, magnificently, are sponsored by Viz, the magazine that has spent the best part of 30 years proving that fart jokes never get old.

If they see off Bournemouth in a replay, they will play hapless Blackburn in a game that will see the Premier League side attempt to pull off a giant-killing.

Histon drew Swansea City, although they are at home so will be spared the full force of the South Wales atmosphere that forces local derbies to kick off at increasingly early times.

If Swansea-Cardiff games are brought forward any more they will end up being played the previous evening.

Forest Green Rovers get the magic of Derby and Torquay got Blackpool, both are games that - Stanley Matthews aside - offer the non-leaguers no glamour but every chance of a swift exit.

Eastwood of the Northern Premier League may have been the most deserving of a big tie after ditching Wycombe but will get no such thing.

They will either travel eight miles to face Notts County, or take on another non-league outfit in the shape of Kettering.

But the real hard-luck story belongs to Droylsden, who were putting a whipping on Chesterfield when the match was abandoned because of fog.

Funnily enough, the Championship game between Preston and Bristol City went ahead in no-less-murky conditions. Wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that it was live on TV?

Droylsden boss Dave Pace said: "We looked comfortable after taking the lead and capable of going on to win. Now we'll have to do it all again. I think it's an outrageous decision."

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "They are not God." Paranoid Phil Scolari suspects the almighty might be shirking his refereeing duties and sending in mortal ringers like Mike Dean.

TACTICAL GENIUS OF THE WEEKEND: Hull striker Dean Windass may no longer be equipped to play at the highest level but he was arguably Hull's most influential player against Stoke City on Saturday. Windass went on a one-man mission to disrupt Rory Delap's long throws, strategically 'warming up' right in front of Delap as he prepared to run up.

The runner-up award goes to Hull keeper Boaz Myhill, who became the first man to test the theory that it is better to give Stoke a corner than let Delap get his hands on the ball. The Welshman coolly knocked the ball behind when under pressure, rather than whacking it out for a throw.

INJURY OF THE WEEKEND: The NFL injury list weekend made interesting reading when it came to the New York Giants' visit to the Washington Redskins. Kedric Golston (foot), Marcus Washington (ankle), Fred Robbins (shoulder), Plaxico Burress (self-inflicted gunshot wound).

Giants wide receiver Burress, who caught the winning touchdown in last season's Super Bowl, accidentally shot himself in the leg in a Manhattan nightclub on Friday.

The incident could land him in jail as well as hospital as the police ponder charging Burress with a firearms offence.

And before you start thinking Plaxico Burress is a silly name, remember: it's pronounced 'Plexico'.

FOREIGN VIEW: After another Real Madrid defeat, Marca has given up speculating if and when Bernd Schuster will get the push. Instead it is focussing on who they will buy once the German has gone - Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and Angel di Maria, apparently.

COMING UP: Brace yourselves for another blast of false hope on Merseyside - Liverpool will go top of the Premier League if they avoid a point at home to West Ham tonight. Follow it live from 20:00 UK time.

  1. anne. i know what you mean, but i'll have to do some housework if i'm gonna get it sucked.

    kgh_rFrom kgh_r on Mon Dec 01 04:46PM

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  2. hi kgh_r,
    bang on mate, had to do a runner for a bit!!
    it didnt really cover the spl in glory, no. personally i thought celtic deserved this, strachans signings have been more often than not, woeful.
    samaras isnt good enough for that level, and the target for me would have been to bring in a higher quality striker to compliment venegoor. to be fair to them, they had a tough group, and a massive injury list, but they should be beating danish sides 4 and 5 nil wivout too much effort.
    very embarrising year for scottish sides in europe, we dont have the budgets, but im fed up of celtic using that excuse. its exactly the same case for sides outwith the old firm competing in scotland, we have to live with it, and u sure dont hear celtic complain week in week out about that.
    going back to strachan, why maloney didnt start il never know, and surely its time to stop penny pinching and sign a quality centre half and stop pissing about with the likes of loovens, who just isnt good enough for the step up to champions league level in my opinion!
    on the up side, we have them in the semis!!

    marcgrant7From marcgrant7 on Mon Dec 01 04:48PM

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  3. fuckinghell there are over 4000 comments on howshite Britney was on Saturday

    annieh96From annieh96 on Mon Dec 01 04:49PM

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  4. Isnt it a fair deal then Bobo?

    annieh96From annieh96 on Mon Dec 01 04:51PM

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  5. Wow you dont post often Marc/Leon but when you do its a novel and I agree with you Rangers = filth (is that right?)

    annieh96From annieh96 on Mon Dec 01 04:53PM

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  6. The Chuckles score about the same as the Mallett I was glad to see the back of him last night

    annieh96From annieh96 on Mon Dec 01 04:54PM

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  7. marc, yea i was wondering if the rest of the spl is getting better or if the old firm are getting worse. i think its a bit of both. i think that even with the same budget, a better manager would have achieved more at celtic. i don't see strachan as anything more than a motivation man which is good enough for the spl but not good enough for the cl where tactics and formations and creativity is required. i think strachan will have run his course by the end of the season and a positive attack-minded coach should replace him.

    kgh_rFrom kgh_r on Mon Dec 01 04:55PM

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  8. See ya fbf hope Luckypool errrr say something nice - got it - wear nice shirts

    annieh96From annieh96 on Mon Dec 01 04:58PM

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  9. BRATNAY SPARS AS FANASHED

    dannysbacFrom dannysbac on Mon Dec 01 04:59PM

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  10. hometime. see ya'll tomor.
    marc, make sure to drop by again!

    kgh_rFrom kgh_r on Mon Dec 01 04:59PM

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  11. See ya Bobo

    annieh96From annieh96 on Mon Dec 01 05:01PM

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  12. bang on anne, ur learning!
    yeh totally agree i think it is a bit of both. there budgets arent what they used to be, but also neither are ours. You're also right about strachan, he fails to get the best out of a decent set of players.
    he gets by in the spl, but this is mainly due to the competition as rangers are dirt and the rest of the spl lack the consistency to mount a challenge, but with the exception of falkirk and usually kilmarnock, all can beat the old firm on their day.
    celtic have won 3 titles going on 4 in a row, but not one has been convincing or through anything other than the competition not being great.
    i think most would agree that a change is needed, but its hard to sack a man who has guided the club to 4 trophys in a row, whether it by luck or not

    marcgrant7From marcgrant7 on Mon Dec 01 05:05PM

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  13. BAY BAY AVARYWAN

    dannysbacFrom dannysbac on Mon Dec 01 05:18PM

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  14. when ,you comment on someones behaviour or something he did make sure you have all the facts
    yes it is funny that he shoukd have headed it but the thing is he heard a wistle wich you can clearly hear on the summarys and thats why he caught the ball in his hands in stead of heading it and getting a yellow card for that
    so it wasn't even a mistake it was a mis understanding

    opowiczFrom opowicz on Mon Dec 01 06:22PM

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  15. referees are told if you have time to lift your hands to protect your face you have the same time to move your head out of the way a player of his talent just head it

    g.hall336From g.hall336 on Mon Dec 01 06:37PM

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  16. Mae fy hofrenfad yn llawn o lyswennod

    arttidescoFrom arttidesco on Mon Dec 01 08:51PM

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  17. I was under the impression that a referee can only give a decision if he see's it, Webb was behind Ronaldo so how come he saw it. Appears to me this was a "get you back " decision for Ron's earlier applause when he was wrongly booked for a perfectly legitimate tackle. Time to give Webb a lower league game and then see how hard but fair tackles are permitted.

    boswednackFrom boswednack on Mon Dec 01 09:53PM

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  18. West Ham will be challenging for a place in Europe after Xmas ! :-)

    I'm forever blowing bubbles :-)

    You never walk alone blowing bubbles :-)

    You know what I mean ?

    arttidescoFrom arttidesco on Mon Dec 01 10:11PM

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  19. According to a trailer for CS, J Lo's @#$% is insured for a billion dollars! Wow some butt!!

    jumping.jehoshophotFrom jumping.jehoshophot on Mon Dec 01 10:34PM

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  20. totally agree with you lukee1236. Ronaldo is a great header..it proven as 30% of his goal last season were scored from his head. I'll say that cross from Ronney will be a sure 2nd goal for United.

    azeem_zainalFrom azeem_zainal on Mon Dec 01 11:06PM

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  21. i only thought he did one thing offensive and that should have been one yellow card i don't think the red should have been pulled out and in sort of matter umm i like how reporters criticize these ppl for working and never in consider the stuff they do. play something that u love or talk @#$% behind everyone making a living how sad

    babyfingerz_214@verizon.netFrom babyfingerz_214@verizon.net on Tue Dec 02 04:59AM

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  22. Man U champs again all day long!

    terry.kelly07From terry.kelly07 on Tue Dec 02 05:41PM

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  23. Ronaldo is awesome but with Berby orchestrating the team its not just about him now.Watch Rooney go when Berbatov plays.Liverpool 2 points off 2 home games.Its all about Gerard and Torres. By the way the liverpool 'FAITHFUL' AND BEST SUPPORT IN THE LAND. BOOING THEIR OWN TEAM OFF. WHAT AN URBAN MYTH THE SUPPORT OF THE SCOUSERS IS! COME ON YOU MANC REDS!

    terry.kelly07From terry.kelly07 on Tue Dec 02 05:47PM

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