Justice for Ronaldo!
Mon Dec 01 08:52AM
Cristiano Ronaldo will stop at nothing to hog the headlines - even rank stupidity.
Manchester United's victory at neighbours City might have been remembered for the football had Ronaldo not been sent off for his two-fisted batting of a corner.
And Early Doors has photographic evidence, published on the right, that proves the move was in fact premeditated and he had spent the week perfecting it in training.
Just what was he thinking? As ever, we need look no further than United's oracle Sir Alex Ferguson for an explanation: "He was trying to protect himself from the ball hitting his face."
It is a fair point. What is a player supposed to do when he has a ball hurtling towards his head at high speed? Football, as the name suggests, is meant to be played with the feet.
Wayne Rooney should really be more careful when he sends in corners at that sort of height - he'll have someone's eye out.
Ronaldo has survived several brushes with danger, and in some cases the ball has even bounced off his noggin into the goal. But sooner or later somebody is going to get hurt.
Rumour has it that in a dim and distant past known as the 1990s, mysterious creatures named Quinnasaurus and Duncandisorderly roamed the Premier League, specialising in using the upper part of their body to redirect the ball, and that the practice even had its own, quaint, name: the 'header'.
But Early Doors finds such myths hard to believe. After all, why would anyone risk those lucrative endorsement deals with cosmetics companies by putting their pretty face in the line of fire?
It was just a shame that ref Howard Webb did not realise that Ronaldo has got a high-profile award to collect this week. Any blemish to his tanned complexion, sparklingly white teeth or perfectly coiffed hair would be a tragedy - not just for Ronaldo but for the millions of viewers who will be treated to his rare beauty when he lifts the Ballon d'Or.
- - -
The magic of the FA Cup was more Tommy Cooper than David Blaine when the third round draw produced 32
ties of stultifying boredom.
Without pausing to adjust its fez, the Cup actually sawed a lady in half before pulling nothing but rabbit droppings out of its hat despite a weekend of second-round upsets.
The cameras were on hand to record the joy, the excitement and the crushing disappointment at the eight non-league clubs still in the competition.
In some senses, Barrow secured a plum tie. On the one hand, it was the draw everyone wants - a Premier League side away. On the other, it was Middlesbrough. It is thought the teams are considering switching the fixture to Barrow to increase gate receipts.
Blyth Spartans, magnificently, are sponsored by Viz, the magazine that has spent the best part of 30 years proving that fart jokes never get old.
If they see off Bournemouth in a replay, they will play hapless Blackburn in a game that will see the Premier League side attempt to pull off a giant-killing.
Histon drew Swansea City, although they are at home so will be spared the full force of the South Wales atmosphere that forces local derbies to kick off at increasingly early times.
If Swansea-Cardiff games are brought forward any more they will end up being played the previous evening.
Forest Green Rovers get the magic of Derby and Torquay got Blackpool, both are games that - Stanley Matthews aside - offer the non-leaguers no glamour but every chance of a swift exit.
Eastwood of the Northern Premier League may have been the most deserving of a big tie after ditching Wycombe but will get no such thing.
They will either travel eight miles to face Notts County, or take on another non-league outfit in the shape of Kettering.
But the real hard-luck story belongs to Droylsden, who were putting a whipping on Chesterfield when the match was abandoned because of fog.
Funnily enough, the Championship game between Preston and Bristol City went ahead in no-less-murky conditions. Wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that it was live on TV?
Droylsden boss Dave Pace said: "We looked comfortable after taking the lead and capable of going on to win. Now we'll have to do it all again. I think it's an outrageous decision."
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "They are not God." Paranoid Phil Scolari suspects the almighty might be shirking his refereeing duties and sending in mortal ringers like Mike Dean.
TACTICAL GENIUS OF THE WEEKEND: Hull striker Dean Windass may no longer be equipped to play at the highest level but he was arguably Hull's most influential player against Stoke City on Saturday. Windass went on a one-man mission to disrupt Rory Delap's long throws, strategically 'warming up' right in front of Delap as he prepared to run up.
The runner-up award goes to Hull keeper Boaz Myhill, who became the first man to test the theory that it is better to give Stoke a corner than let Delap get his hands on the ball. The Welshman coolly knocked the ball behind when under pressure, rather than whacking it out for a throw.
INJURY OF THE WEEKEND: The NFL injury list weekend made interesting reading when it came to the New York Giants' visit to the Washington Redskins. Kedric Golston (foot), Marcus Washington (ankle), Fred Robbins (shoulder), Plaxico Burress (self-inflicted gunshot wound).
Giants wide receiver Burress, who caught the winning touchdown in last season's Super Bowl, accidentally shot himself in the leg in a Manhattan nightclub on Friday.
The incident could land him in jail as well as hospital as the police ponder charging Burress with a firearms offence.
And before you start thinking Plaxico Burress is a silly name, remember: it's pronounced 'Plexico'.
FOREIGN VIEW: After another Real Madrid defeat, Marca has given up speculating if and when Bernd Schuster will get the push. Instead it is focussing on who they will buy once the German has gone - Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and Angel di Maria, apparently.
COMING UP: Brace yourselves for another blast of false hope on Merseyside - Liverpool will go top of the Premier League if they avoid a point at home to West Ham tonight. Follow it live from 20:00 UK time.
Ronaldo played the percentages wrong. If he'd headed the ball and got a goal - 100%, if he'd missed - 75% for effort, if the ref had actually whistled in both cases then he could have said "sorry, didn't hear you, ref, heat of the game etc." 50% chance of yellow card. 0% for handling the ball - no goal and a good chance of yellow card, so 0% for intelligence. Of course, he could have let the ball hit his face, which might have cheered up a lot of people except his team mates (Maybe even a few of them).
From james_ssmith on Mon Dec 01 09:52AMMornin Johnny. The girlfriend was askin why the swansea-cardiff match started at 11am. I told her its coz ye're all boozed up losers and the cops hoped ye wouldn't have the enough time to get wasted if the match started early. Got that one wrong! the next derby will kick off at 9am!
From kgh_r on Mon Dec 01 09:53AMBob thats harsh. Anyway, if you move the game to 9AM they will just go straight to the game after pulling an all-nighter the nioght before. Youre right about sacking Keane tho. Not something I'd wanna do.
From danny_saks on Mon Dec 01 09:56AMThe sooner we see the back of Ronnie the better. He can then open more lovely boutiques in Spain and Portugal. Glad to see the back of his face on the papers
From colin.howell on Mon Dec 01 09:57AMMaybe Ronaldo was doing the hand (or is that hands ) of god stuff a la maradonna. Now if we had TV with 15 different angles maybe Mardonna might also have been punnished by being sent off, except we might never have seen that brilliant 2nd goal against england. A case of what if - maybe that's a better title than ED: I should start a blog called football's "What if?"
From jonathangrosskopf on Mon Dec 01 09:58AMDanny, if 9am won't work then there is no suitable time.
Some of the guys fighting yesterday were so funny looking, with the jackets and burberry hats.From kgh_r on Mon Dec 01 09:59AMVitorlam, is probably right. Ronaldo was unsighted, but he should have palmed the ball down making it clear that that was what had happened.
From james_ssmith on Mon Dec 01 09:59AMand why there are people speaking with such hatred??? do you really hate ronaldo that much??? he wasn't trying to punch the ball into the goal~ if you want to hate some cheater, then try steven gerrard~
From vitorlam on Mon Dec 01 09:59AMWhats all this about C.Ron hearing a whistle anyway? A SkySports interviewer said he claimed he heard a 'beep'. Since when has a 'beep' affected a football match? And on replays you caan't hear a whistle beforehand. Even SAF is playing down that angle. Basically the guy is just atosser. A giftedtosser admittedly.
From danny_saks on Mon Dec 01 09:59AMBob you shoulda seen Sheff mate. 'When Wednesady win, Utd lose, Oh Wednesday... You got me singin the Blues...' BBC were NOT on form.. ;)
From danny_saks on Mon Dec 01 10:01AMi agree with vitorlam he is a cheat
From quinnbrosltd on Mon Dec 01 10:04AMJames, in the uk we build up people and then take even more pleasure knocking them down! I think that most of the vicious comments from other fans and so called commentators is jelousy that he is earning so much money and is a very tallented footballer. Mind you i think that after football Ronaldo will go into acting as he apparently dives like a swan and likes to be the centre of attraction. Maybe he IS a little too big for his boots for most people, (and i should talk!).
From jonathangrosskopf on Mon Dec 01 10:06AMMorning gents,
I hate busy monday mornings at work. So V.Persie scores for the first time against chelsea and the first time in 4 games, he may be good sometimes but hes so inconsistent. the reason Arsenal lose to teams like fulham, hull etc is because RVP only plays when he wants to. I d still get rid of him tomorrow if i could!!
From jay8my on Mon Dec 01 10:07AMIt was obvious there was going to be fighting yesterday. Bob putting the game on what ever time doesn't help, thesepricks are going to fight anyway! Instead of having the kids playing 5-a-side half time or overpaid match sponser yuppies trying to get a football in the shed(well that's whjat they do down Ninian Park anyway). They should have a face-off between both sets of supporters and have a cage fight a la UFC!!!!!!
It will be worse when Cardiff play the Jacks at home as Ninian Park is compact and the away supporters have to virtually go through the same entrances!!!
I am writing a lot today arn't i so i apologise for my long posts with not much offensive material included i might add!!!
From johnnyevz82 on Mon Dec 01 10:07AMCan we stop the Ronaldo talk please?
More important things happened on football pitches than him gettin stupidly sent off.
He playedshit again yesterday and he's nowhere near as good as Messi.
That said, he's the secondbest player in the world in my opinion, even if he is a cheating, selfish prima donna.From kgh_r on Mon Dec 01 10:08AMi think scolari lacks the technical know how to handle league matches. he fails to read matches correctly and has never made a substitution that changed the pattern of the game. rather his philosophy is to sacrifice one player for a striker to get a goal that never comes. he has killed the morale at the bridge and is beginning to make chelsea look like a common club where loosing a match is just like a way of life.
i dont think he is as good as they make us think he is. no real coach would have lost that match to arsenal yesterday. down small philsFrom eruagus on Mon Dec 01 10:08AMI hate John Terry more than i hate Christano Ronaldo and i don't know why???
From johnnyevz82 on Mon Dec 01 10:09AMRonaldo was harshly dealt with. The ref was whistle happy all game when it came to utd play. man city were allowed to kick united without even a freekick being awarded at times.
anyway besides the point, we beat them in their own back yard... ahahahaha!
typical london media, love to kick players when they are down, guttless media...
From lefinlan on Mon Dec 01 10:09AMwhat a load of twaddle, he can do hand stands aswell, he can clap, he can walk and run, are all these premeditated aswell, what a poor piece of reporting, i know weve got the credit crunch but are all you reporters that desparate, go back to class and learn how to write....
From jckymalone on Mon Dec 01 10:09AMOh and Jack.....peace. Obviously the 1st goal was offside but ur right the reason chelsea lost was because there wasnt enough creativity in the final 3rd. Sumfin scolari needs to look at!!
From jay8my on Mon Dec 01 10:10AMHi Jay, sorry for misunderstanding last friday hope your weekend was fab. Now if Liverpool don't win at home, then it WILL make the title race very interesting. What did Wenger put in his team's drinks - BROMIDE?
From jonathangrosskopf on Mon Dec 01 10:11AMwhatever happened, Ronaldo is just making poor excuses for not actually heading the ball. Its all a load of nonsense and him trying to save face. ahahahaha excuse the pun. The fact is he went up to head and for some reason, probably not even known to himself he used his hands. A moment of madness but a hilarious one. Even the Man U supporters can laugh because you still won the game and Ronaldo misses only one game which he wouldnt be playing in anyway. This is the comdey moment of the weekend. lets laugh and joke about it rather than get het up and nasty about it. Even the best can be mongo's from time to time.
From tommihew on Mon Dec 01 10:11AMyou should've seen Stephen McPhail's sending off!!! I sat in silence wondering what the stupidprick was doing???? Did anyone see that Cardiff /Swansea match. I think the linesman was in a world of his own yesterday for both teams!!!
But i must admit the refs were consistant as that Rafael & Ireland got booked for doing the same thing in their match!!!!
From johnnyevz82 on Mon Dec 01 10:13AMvery funny article on ronaldo ha ha even fergie comes up with a mental excuse. can they never except any ruling against them.
From barrycheese on Mon Dec 01 10:13AMOh Johnny congrats on the rugby, its always gr8 watching the Aussies get beat. I still hate Steve Jones hes the most overrated pieceofshit in rugby. Hopefully hooks still not in the side when u play engalnd in the R6N.
From jay8my on Mon Dec 01 10:14AMi reckon john terry is a prat who alo hould have got asent off for a horrible tackle
From quinnbrosltd on Mon Dec 01 10:14AMFunny opening of the article... In all fairness, although he is a diver at times and seeks the easy free-kick, this was no intentional handball - if it was intentional, he would have aimed at the target... since it was 'perfected in training.' Tough decision, he may win the appeal if there is one
From gordon.merk on Mon Dec 01 10:17AManyone see vidic, what a tank
if i got studded in the stomach ide be down in tears, he is a machine
From mattymogo on Mon Dec 01 10:17AMWhen Mohrinio was at Chelsea he could afford to say that he was the Chosen One and that Chelsea were the greatest because he made damn sure that that was true,but Scholari is shooting off his mouth and the results don't back him up. Time to go back to school and learn a little humility Phil, or else you'll end up being fired and then HAVING to go back home. Well done Arsenal. P.S. Man Utd play all top 4 at home in second half of season so let us see then who's top of the league in May 2009.
From jonathangrosskopf on Mon Dec 01 10:18AMI am on a mission today to replace all the seagulls in Bognor Regis with tiny winged goats
From bomoler on Mon Dec 01 10:19AM
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