Jim White

Sven's comedy turn

Wed Oct 07 12:06PM

If you are one of the boundary-pushing million to have signed up for internet coverage of England's game in Ukraine, and assuming you have a broadband connection sufficiently substantial to cope with buffering and disconnects, and assuming you haven't been unplugged by aggrieved junior members of the family anxious to get back to poking their friends, then you are in for an unexpected treat. Sven-Goran Eriksson has been signed up to offer half-time critique to the internet few on the national team's performance.

It is an interesting bit of casting, giving a man who fundamentally messed up doing the same job a platform to analyse the excellence of his successor. A bit like asking George Bush to comment on the progress of withdrawal from Iraq. Or getting Dean Richards to pass judgment on the work of the sporting ethics committee. Or - now we really are entering the realms of the ridiculous - making Tony Blair Middle East peace envoy. Presumably Sven's first piece of advice to his successor would be to ensure he goes to South Africa with only four forwards, two of whom are crocked and another a rookie yet to play a Premier League game.

It has been intriguing this week hearing Eriksson perfecting the art of post-rationalisation. Apparently the only reason he didn't win the World Cup last time round was that his players weren't quite old enough. Nothing to do with the WAG circus, nothing to do with a celebrity obsession, nothing to do with a selection policy that was deemed bonkers even as the names of his final squad for Germany were read out. No it was simply that the core of the team weren't quite at their peak. According to Sven, England's improvement under Fabio Capello is merely a matter of good timing. Players like Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard and Rio Ferdinand, he says, are now at the top of their game. Chronology has finally dealt an England boss a full hand of expertise.

Like much of Sven's career, it is a statement that doesn't quite stand up to full scrutiny. Most experts agree that - the odd Ryan Giggs exception apart - a professional footballer's most persuasive years - the ones in which fitness, power, strength and experience all come together in one potent brew - come between the ages of 26 and 29. Or precisely the category into which Messrs Gerrard, Lampard and Ferdinand all fell in the summer of 2006. John Terry and Ashley Cole were 25 in Germany, and Wayne Rooney just 20, meaning the team's true peak would have been at Euro 2008. And we know how that went.

The fact that they didn't perform to their potential back then, and the fact they are doing so now, is less about age than about direction. Capello is a manager of substance, Eriksson a chimera, a shifting ghost of nothingness. Like the character Peter Sellers player in the film Being There, he is a man who has very little to say of meaning. At the level at which these players are operating, it is all about tiny margins. And having a coach who knows what he is doing counts as slightly more than a tiny margin.

Here are just a few of the areas in which Capello is superior to Eriksson: preparation, selection, tactics and the diagnosis of problems. Plus, rather than hanging on in the hope that a David Beckham free-kick in the last minute of the last game will ensure progress, an ability to steer the team through qualification with an ease which allows him not one but two extra matches in which to assess his resources.

Minor things, obviously, compared to the age of the players at his disposal, but ones might give England supporters cause to imagine their team could progress beyond withering in the quarter final. Still, Sven will no doubt explain where he is going wrong. The only pity is that Capello has advanced things sufficiently that no penalties will be involved in the process of reaching South Africa. It would have been fun to hear Sven's thoughts on organising the perfect shoot-out. Get some older players in, obviously.

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From david.yarwood on Wed Oct 07 12:34PM
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handbags now Jim... Ooooooooooooh
From david.yarwood on Wed Oct 07 12:36PM
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avin that! feckin get in THERE White !
From goonerforlyfesmate on Wed Oct 07 12:51PM
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Great Article!!!
From painkiller14 on Wed Oct 07 12:55PM
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excellent article.. part of me actually liked sven.. but then again, i think i just liked the idea of the england team back then.. "the golden era".. at the time it felt like they were world beaters.. but looking back they actually just over-hyped primadonnas.. ferdinand can sit there and moan about the way things played out.. but he was as guilty as the rest!..he had his own itv show!!
From bigjeffrules on Wed Oct 07 01:03PM
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This article has no basis. You guys kep writing such stuff only four years after the actual ocurrence. England's problems are far more than just a Mr Ericsson. Do you realise that England has been regarded a favourites in every other World cup event after 1966? And they never appeared in some, and having been eliminated in the rest? Well, Capello is absolutely not the divine solution to the THREE LIONS' problems. Qualifying without dropping a game seems to be a great achievement, but England are not the only team to achieve this feat (Nederlands et. al). It all seems that having won all their group matches has made them favourites to win the World cup AGAIN. This is just a tall dream. I guess the sooner they start to be realistic, the better: bcos, they still havent been able to overwhelm against stronger opposition. I wish them all the luck in the world though.
From laronchuck on Wed Oct 07 01:08PM
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This is a pretty pointless article as we have not had the chance to judge Fabio Capello in a World Cup/European Championship as yet. Yes he has got England to qualify for the World Cup 2010 but Sven never failed to qualify for any of the major championships either and he did make 3 quarter finals.
Will you still stand by your judgement if England get knocked out of the World Cup in South Africa in the group stage!
From dstelfox on Wed Oct 07 01:12PM
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England have already qualified, and while it may be interesting to see England's strength in depth, I'm not going to pay. There are many places to see it free, and if my internet isn't competent enough, I'll either go for live text commentary or see the highlights of the game the next day. It's not like it's an important match.
They got Sven to comment and criticize Capello? It's a wonder cows aren't flying already. Good luck with that Sven, you'll find very little wrong with the Italian's work.
From akilesh_radhakrishnan on Wed Oct 07 01:13PM
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sven did a pretty good job with england and shouldnt be slated so much
From daveleary7 on Wed Oct 07 01:35PM
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It doesn't mater whether you like Sven as a person. He's been exposed at both England and Mexico as a manager with a lack of leadership ability. A bit rough on a guy buried at Forest for the rest of his career, but true.
From riverside_ac on Wed Oct 07 01:40PM
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What is your problem, in my eyes Sven is a very good coach, and gave many young English players a chance in the national team, to build a base in his team, what it is today. Capello came in to a served table already and havent done much changes. If England reach world cup semifinals, we should be happy. Football have change and its not the only England who can play the game today!!!
From trollet69 on Wed Oct 07 01:42PM
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Sven is a man with many years of experience in the football world, including knowing what it's like to sit in the England hotseat, i'm sure he'll give a strong, un-biased view...unlike this article.
From marcorossi2 on Wed Oct 07 01:55PM
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poor article. sven will be compared to capello after world cup. i recknon england reached semi-final of euro 2004 and lost to Portugal( host country)as a genuine Sol Campbell goal was wrongly dismissed, and knocked out in quarter-final world cup 2006 by portugal after penalty shoots.
Capello should have to take England at least to semi-final of world cup to justify this article.
Anyway, I know Sven was a spending more time shagging our women then coaching our men, euh,..boys...but don't dispise him, he was a notorious manager...after all, he was set up couple of times by journalists and some of his comments were leaked to the press...and his revenge? take 2 injured strikers and theo walcott to world cup. And then saying that Lampard or Gerrard can play as strikers, lol...he's a legend..and shagging FA ataff as well..
From gkalme2000 on Wed Oct 07 01:57PM
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Sven may have had his faults but compared to Taylor, Keegan or MacLaren he's a tactical genius.
From chrishorne99 on Wed Oct 07 02:03PM
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SVEN BROUGH ENGLAND TO SEMI FINAL OF EURO 2004 AND ENGLAND LOST ONLY BECAUSE THE REFERREE DISALLOWED A SOL CAMPBELL GOAL FOR NO APPARENT REASON TO ALLOW THE HOST COUNTRY TO GO THROUGH, THEN QUARTER FINAL OF WORLD CUP 2006 LOST TO A PORTUGAL AFTER PENALTY SHOOTS. GOOD RECORD I THINK. I KNOW HE SHA...GGED AN FA STAFF AND REFUSED TO RESIGN,..BUT WHO CARES...OH, HE DID ALSO ULRIKA, OK, ONLY 2 GIRLS...NEXT WILL BE LADY GAGA, BUT AMERICAN WOULD NOT COMPLAIN...LOL..IF CAPELLO BRING US THROUGH TO THE SEMI, THEN WE WOUILD SAY HE DID A GOOD JOB WITHOUT SHA...GGING ANY GIRL, LOL
From gkalme2000 on Wed Oct 07 02:06PM
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Have you ever thought that maybe the opposition is now weaker!
I feel sorry for the English who believe this @#$%. England have no chance in hell of winning the world cup in 2010.
From brendan.devenny@y7mail.com on Wed Oct 07 02:29PM
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Do we forget so quickly? I was there in 2006 and I despise the man to this day for what he did to England in his tenure as incompetent. To have him as a club manager is to sell your soul to the devil. If he said day follows night I'd ask for a second opionion. Word's cannot describe this walking empty useless disgraceful charlatan. Personally I never want to hear another word he says and if I was thinking of paying for the England match then there is now absolutely no chance. Despair!!
From andyjwaterhouse on Wed Oct 07 02:36PM
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It's irrelevant that we got to the quarter-finals. The point that everyone seems to be missing is that a) his squad selection was illogical and b) he managed to get the England team playing each match as though they'd met the day before. Sweden in Cologne was just unbearable, aand by sitting back they let Sweden back into the match. You could sense the fear mounting as Sweden came at them. But the final condemnation must must surely be his words - "True Walcott did not p[lay play but he'll be better prepared for the next World Cup". If he'd read his contract he'd have known that his task was to win the current world cup and not the next one? I just can't unerstand how anyone can defend him.
From andyjwaterhouse on Wed Oct 07 02:52PM
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If you get the impression that it still rankles - well it does.
From andyjwaterhouse on Wed Oct 07 02:54PM
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Well done. It's like stevie wonder commenting on being able to see! What an absolute idiot Sven is. The stupid idiot. If he really is Sweedish, won't he be cheering for Ukraine? I never liked Sven at England and I'm glad we have got Fabio now. Sven never got us to any good placings at any tournaments! Why couldn't he use the best squad in the world to do that? He is a terrible manager and it's a shame for Notts County that they have to pay him now. Fabio will win us the World Cup even without the help of the stupid sweed Sven. Mexico said 'No' to Sven and Notts County should do the same. He will lead them to nothing but faliure! Sack Sven before it's too late. He is a prat and shouldn't comment on football ever again. I'd prefer Martin Tyler than Sven!!
From wattondan on Wed Oct 07 02:59PM
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andyjwaterhouse you said it all. Read his comment and Internaet have him commenting instead of the Sweedish Stupid Sod Sven!!!
Sven + ANY Football Team/Nation = FALIURE!
From wattondan on Wed Oct 07 03:01PM
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even if england qulified to WC 2010 easily, they cant win WC,No way I dont know the reason, maybe they dont have a good goalkeeper, I think this is an important problem for England, they cant win over Spain, Netherland, Germany or even USA. Hard Luck England.
From vgp2886 on Wed Oct 07 03:43PM
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Terrible article. Unfair and pointless
From jamesgwild on Wed Oct 07 03:49PM
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there aren't many issues regarding bufferings and streaming games off the internet, nowadays
From manutd_182 on Wed Oct 07 03:59PM
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Will be funny when Capello's England team are knocked out of South Africa 2010!!!
What then?
Alan Shearer to take over??!!
From steg_ward on Wed Oct 07 03:59PM
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wassup
From zahaibiqbal on Wed Oct 07 04:25PM
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what is html
From zahaibiqbal on Wed Oct 07 04:26PM
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Comment 7: Am sorry to say I don't know any world cup in which England has ever been placed as favorites. please enlighten.
From caesar3x on Wed Oct 07 04:26PM
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England can win the World Cup. I'm not saying they will but the potential is there. The one thing we've lacked is consistently playing to the level of our ability. That's mostly been driven by fear, and I believe Capello has already shown that he can get confidence into the team. Can the people who simply post "Capello will fail" please close your computers down because my 2-year old niece can come up with the same pointless comment. Better to keep your mouth shut and appear foolish than to open it and remove all doubt.
From andyjwaterhouse on Wed Oct 07 04:37PM
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daveleary7 how can you say he did a good job? No matter what he achieved the reality is that he underachieved. That's the true measure of his performance. He wasted 6 years of all our lives (or however long it was) And yes Keegan (who the public more or less elected to the post) proved ultimately incapable of leading England but to his everlasting honour and unlike Mclaren and Eriksson he was man enough to admit it.
From andyjwaterhouse on Wed Oct 07 04:42PM
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