Jim White

Jim White

2018 bid needs Cole, not committees

Fri Nov 13 10:46AM

As team news goes, it was not an announcement that was likely to stir the blood of many a football follower. Apparently Mr A Suit has replaced Lord Blazer on the FA's World Cup advisory steering committee, while Sir Starched Collar has ceased to be an Executive Member of the Sub-Committee (Strategy) and has instead been appointed a full voting member of the main Strategy Sub-Commitee with particular responsibility for advisory steering.

This is how the FA works: if it moves it forms a committee round it. And if it moves too quickly, it adds a couple of sub-committees, just to slow things down a bit. England has a cracking World Cup bid. It has the stadiums, it has the infrastructure, it has the fans. Indeed everything is so ready, never mind the 2018 World Cup, England could easily stage the tournament in 2010 and make a triumph of it.

Yet it seems as if, despite the clear advantages of their product, the blazers in charge are making an almighty foul up of the bid, miring it in the kind of petty internal politics that would be laughed out of court in Ruritania. Let's be honest, hearing that Geoff Thompson has been added to the main organising committee is hardly likely to make you think things are going to improve any day soon.

Yet - and it may sound hopelessly naive - it seems to me the task the FA faces is a simple one. It is a matter of salesmanship. The bid is good, all they need do is go out there and make sure everyone who matters knows that it is. Plus, the instructions on how to sell it could not be more clear. The preposterous Jack Warner, FIFA executive member and head of the Trinidad and Tobago FA, has issued a blueprint. It may seem ridiculous, it may seem appalling cynical, but basically it runs like this: there are 24 voting members of the FIFA board and they all have egos the size of Wales which need buffing and polishing. It's as straight forward as that.

Never mind who is in charge of the advisory sub-committee, Warner wants better handbags. He also wants a bit of celebrity hand-clasping. To secure his vote for England, he wants to have smoke blown up his backside by someone he has read about in Hello!. And he is not the only one. What the other 23 voters need is a bit of full-on wooing from an A-lister.

The good news for England is they have a ready cast of such characters. David Beckham and Prince William are already bid ambassadors. It strikes me that, rather than re-arranging the committee deck chairs, all the FA need do is make sure Beckham and William, plus perhaps Tony Blair since he is going to have a bit of time on his hands now he's not going to be President of Europe, do a bit of strategic smoozing pronto. Maybe they could get Cheryl Cole (pictured) to help out if they're not available. I have the impression Warner is the sort of man who would rather like to have his flesh pressed by Cheryl.

Of course, celebrity endorsement doesn't always work. The biggest star of them all - President Obama - failed to win the Olympics for Chicago last month. But then Chicago's bid wasn't the best. The FA's is - demonstrably so. All they need do is convince the world that it is. And they have the team at their disposal to do just that. So why the current panic gripping those trying to promote the bid? Possibly it is something to do with the FA being in charge. The chances of them failing to spotting the simple truth of their bid requirements and fouling the whole thing up spectacularly are not insubstantial.

Still, if they did blow the best chance they have had since 66 and fail to land the tournament, it would give them a chance to behave as they always do. They could form a couple of committees to work out where it all went wrong.

  1. ha.............

    marshall394From marshall394 on Fri Nov 13 11:09AM

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  2. I got lost on the first paragraph. lol great pic though.

    mw1900From mw1900 on Fri Nov 13 11:29AM

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  3. i think you're right!

    paul091054From paul091054 on Fri Nov 13 11:32AM

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  4. Dear Jimmy, We all need Cheryl Cole!! :D

    itani_yassineFrom itani_yassine on Fri Nov 13 11:36AM

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  5. Not sure I'd agree with you on this Jim. I don't believe anyone would have been too thrilled if Angela Merkel had started blowing cigarette smoke up their backsides to secure the German 2006 bid!

    garethdsFrom garethds on Fri Nov 13 11:45AM

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  6. I agree what a load of Ball Shittteeee.. She's so hot , xxxxxx

    adamthegeezerFrom adamthegeezer on Fri Nov 13 11:45AM

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  7. jim u dirty old man!

    bobo.spambleFrom bobo.spamble on Fri Nov 13 11:47AM

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  8. great article, sums it up completely, piss up and brewery, bunk up and brothel spring to mind

    grahamdbrownettFrom grahamdbrownett on Fri Nov 13 12:03PM

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  9. Re: garethds. As far as German women go Angela Merkel is quite a stunner. Cheryl Cole for PM

    evansmichaelFrom evansmichael on Fri Nov 13 12:14PM

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  10. another top article Jimbo....maybe add a bit of fire to that smoke & it will definitely get some backsides moving, thinking & good planning very quickly....i think if england don't get the bid it will be shocking, considering that the stadiums have to be the best is the world ( not all ) but enough to win the bid, add some more top totty to Ms Coles group & we have a winner....scantily clad though just to make sure !!!!!

    mjelliott72From mjelliott72 on Fri Nov 13 12:29PM

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  11. We all want our flesh pressed by Cheryl...

    Good artical Jim, and sadly so true!

    helmethunterFrom helmethunter on Fri Nov 13 12:35PM

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  12. Helmethumer is right we all want our flesh pressed by Cheryl
    who doesn't??????

    linnetbutesiFrom linnetbutesi on Fri Nov 13 12:50PM

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  13. I think russian bid is better. Russia has strong leaders to push it through and get. Putin plus Medvedev will get the job done. Blatter himself stated when he met with Russians Putin or Medvedev that Russia has a good chance.

    mark1bugFrom mark1bug on Fri Nov 13 12:56PM

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  14. whats this all about.

    babasamangaFrom babasamanga on Fri Nov 13 01:02PM

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  15. Jimbo!!!, no wonder your many personal attacks on Ashley Cole because with this article, it's obvious you have a crush on his wife Cheryl...oh dear oh dear oh dear.

    dbraynelllFrom dbraynelll on Fri Nov 13 01:19PM

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  16. Jimbo!!!, no wonder your many personal attacks on Ashley Cole because with this article, it's obvious you have a crush on his wife Cheryl...oh dear oh dear oh dear.

    dbraynelllFrom dbraynelll on Fri Nov 13 01:20PM

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  17. Fifa and Uefa need England. England doesn't need FIFA or Uefa. We're ready to host any Football Competition. They should be asking us.

    etothestanFrom etothestan on Fri Nov 13 01:54PM

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  18. @#$% we need cheryl cole wise up next thing simon cowell will be manager of the england team catch a grip you tossers

    aeron.eliasFrom aeron.elias on Fri Nov 13 02:01PM

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  19. jimbo hang your head in shame

    aeron.eliasFrom aeron.elias on Fri Nov 13 02:03PM

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  20. Much as I love Cheryl, her image, by association, instantly conjures that of her ugly little appendage Ashley. FIFA officials would be nauseated by the prospect of Cheryl-schmoozing if it had to be accompanied by the sight of her reptilian partner. So, for the good of the game, for the good of the country, I urge Cheryl to leave him now... for all our sakes (but mine especially).

    lawrence43From lawrence43 on Fri Nov 13 02:06PM

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  21. your country needs you use your vote wisely your all just government cash cows labour sold you out and so will the tories there all fiddling idiots

    enochpowell81From enochpowell81 on Fri Nov 13 02:42PM

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  22. What the heck is this article about. Got lost after the first paragraph

    opeoreFrom opeore on Fri Nov 13 02:42PM

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  23. Rubbish article, not surprising though.

    jarikamalFrom jarikamal on Fri Nov 13 02:53PM

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  24. Nice pic of Cheryl. Pity to see it wasted on another boring article by Mr Snoozathon himself, master Naffster Jim White. It's time this prawn (sandwich?) was pensioned off.

    alan_paperboyFrom alan_paperboy on Fri Nov 13 03:15PM

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  25. Really? This is what sports journalism is reduced to?

    Who the hell is Cheryl Cole to any aspiring young footballer across the globe who wants to play in a world cup.

    Show some class when writing please.

    niallpurcell2003From niallpurcell2003 on Fri Nov 13 03:20PM

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  26. quote"warner is the type of man who would rather like to have his flesh pressed by cheryl"if mr cole ever gets hold of you for disrespecting his wife don't whinge if he belts you one,your an old man,grow up

    joannamorris619From joannamorris619 on Fri Nov 13 03:20PM

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  27. it all depends who"s hand, is in who"s pocket!!what"s the odds a "muslim" country gets it?any taker"s?

    stickyfingers1947From stickyfingers1947 on Fri Nov 13 03:22PM

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  28. This certainly is a joke! She cannot even speak Good English, her accent is horrible. She will only bring disgrace to the bid

    cliffiriabe3From cliffiriabe3 on Fri Nov 13 03:34PM

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  29. England don't need to do anything about their bid to host WC 2018...
    They only have to convince Cheryl Cole to streaptease for at least 13 of the 24 voting FIFA members!!

    vitor_bg_cruzFrom vitor_bg_cruz on Fri Nov 13 03:40PM

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  30. we all need her xxx

    sharondun7From sharondun7 on Fri Nov 13 03:41PM

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