Jim White

'And Triesman must score...'

Fri Nov 27 09:59AM

At this time of the year the remainder bins at HMV are full of them: cheap-cut DVDs of humorous collections of footballing errors.

Generally presented by some over-excited comedian or that smug bloke off satellite television who claims an affiliation with Chelsea, they all follow the same format: cackling front man falls over with mirth as footage plays of footballers falling over in pursuit of their balls. And nothing - not streakers nor cack-handed goalkeepers nor managers in meltdown - produces quite the hernia-inducing paroxysms for our comfortably remunerated presenter as a forward missing a simple chance.

In which case you could make an entire series of Nick Hancock's Football Nightmares, or Tim Lovejoy's Football Lowlights or Danny Baker's Right Hammerings out of the England 2018 World Cup bid. Never in the history of the game has an open goal been so spectacularly squandered. Ronny Rosenthal, Chris Iwelumo, Kanu: they looked positively dead-eyed compared to Lord Triesman and the members of his myriad sub-committees.

Consider what the bid has going for it: tradition, fans, unmatched experience. Plus so many possible stadia in which to stage matches, never mind a pricey building programme, it can even afford an internal bidding war. It is impossible to go to Sheffield, for instance, at the moment without being invited by dozens of posters littering the city to lend your support to local attempts to host a few games in 2018. With all that enthusiasm, you couldn't miss, could you?

The FA could.

It has long been a traditional working method of football's governing body that if it moves you form a committee around it. And if it moves too quickly, you tack on a few sub-committees, just to slow things right down. But what appears to be new with the 2018 bid is that they have formed a collection of committees, steering groups and advisory boards stuffed to the David Gills with men with grudges. Grudges, moreover, the resolution of which they regard as far more important than the promotion of the bid.

Everyone is out to do everyone else down, everyone keen to inflict maximum embarrassment on their perceived enemies, everyone motivated only by the need to get one over on the enemy. If it's not Dave Richards getting the hump because Lord Triesman (pictured) once slagged off his Premier League it's Richard Caborn sulking because he's no longer on the main board. It is utterly, stupifyingly pathetic. Poor Karren Brady, she has found herself on a sub-committee where the atmosphere is so poisonous she must pine for the positively gentlemanly working conditions at Birmingham City where all she had to deal with were the egos of a bunch of pornographers.

Why does any of this matter, you might ask? Why should the nation be particularly concerned to bring the competition here? After all, if you want to see the best of Spain, Argentina, Brazil and Africa play on your doorstep, just go along to Eastlands the next time Manchester City take on Arsenal.

Well, if nothing else, it matters for this one single reason: cold, hard cash. An analyst on the radio this week reckoned that the ATP tennis currently on at the O2 Arena in London will, at the conclusion of its run, have served up £400 million for the national economy. If a bunch of tennis stars playing in front of 20,000 people in one venue for 12 days can produce that sort of turnover, imagine what a month long football tournament, drawing 50,000 plus to every game in stadia across the country would generate.

In a nation where we no longer manufacture anything of substance, this is money we cannot afford to squander.This is a bid that matters. All of us need the World Cup. And right now, we have a bunch of self-interested time-servers doing their level best to screw up the best chance we have had in half a century to do so.

Still, at least if the 2018 World Cup is staged in Moscow or Madrid instead of Manchester and Merseyside we will know precisely who to blame: the idiots in blazers who missed a sitter. Though we could probably guess what the FA's reaction would be if the opportunity of a lifetime was squandered: they would form a committee of inquiry, whose first act would doubtless be to spend the first month squabbling over whether they should be served Bourbons or HobNobs with their morning refreshments.

And let's not even start on the tea or coffee debate.

Comments1 - 30 of 41
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1st
From h.worley on Fri Nov 27 10:29AM
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Shove the World Cup up yer arse!
Not like any tax paying Brit will see a penny of the income from any World Cup. Why don't the government up the bid so we can get our money back you robbed to bail out the banks.
Not bad article just sick of the subject and this @#$% country
From steg_ward on Fri Nov 27 11:06AM
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Jim White im getting fed up with you and you're rubbish, awful and wrong facts. Its the 2022 bid not the 2018 as that has already been decided to take place in Brazil. Errrrrrrrrrrr how thick are you!!
From jay8my on Fri Nov 27 11:11AM
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still no iota of an apology to nigerians?!
From egajoy on Fri Nov 27 12:19PM
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Its the 2018 bid i am afraid, facts are correct...
From exposednb on Fri Nov 27 12:21PM
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"cackling front man falls over with mirth as footage plays of footballers falling over in pursuit of their balls." .. lol good one !!
From pushkar2016 on Fri Nov 27 12:22PM
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jay8my - actually, I'm getting fed up with you. I keep seeing you slate article writers for "incorrect" facts on a regular basis yet it is you who is wrong, again! The 2018 bid has yet to be decided and will not be decided until the end of 2010. They will decide the 2022 venue at the same time as they will be hosted on different continents. To use your own words - how thick are you? By the way it should have been "you and your rubbish".
Stop embarrassing yourself and check your facts first.
From johnnyd34uk on Fri Nov 27 12:27PM
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If i werent a t'wat, i'd call jay a noob and a #$%#$ and tell him that it was 2018.. But i think you already know wat i'm going to do..
So buzz off..
:P
@ jay: how was that for a response??
From rock.bratt on Fri Nov 27 12:29PM
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gordon smith for brighton, peter van vossen for rangers
From dnldslvstr on Fri Nov 27 12:41PM
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I suppose Nigerians will expect an apology because you mention Kanu missing an open goal. myself I demand you say sorry to over-excited comedians and that smug bloke off satellite television lol
From liamhorne007 on Fri Nov 27 01:07PM
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For the record the Tennis Masters at the O2 Arena lasts 7 days. I know it doesn't matter but just for the record...
From longroadofhair on Fri Nov 27 01:16PM
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For the record the Tennis Masters at the O2 Arena lasts 7 days. I know it doesn't matter but just for the record...
From longroadofhair on Fri Nov 27 01:16PM
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For the record the Tennis Masters at the O2 Arena lasts 7 days. I know it doesn't matter but just for the record...
From longroadofhair on Fri Nov 27 01:16PM
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7, That was brilliant.
From jay8my on Fri Nov 27 01:22PM
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please don't get confuse with Jay8my....with myself:jay
this humble fellow check facts and speaks correctly.
oh and by the way Jay8my, the 2014 is going to be in Brazil, thats been one the highlights of this years news breaking events, where have you been.
From cutterjay on Fri Nov 27 02:23PM
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please don't get confuse with Jay8my....with myself:jay
this humble fellow check facts and speaks correctly.
oh and by the way Jay8my, the 2014 is going to be in Brazil, thats been one the highlights of this years news breaking events, where have you been.
From cutterjay on Fri Nov 27 02:23PM
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Jay8my gets his giggles by saying something that's wrong, and then having people correct him. It seems that he needs attention, but has stopped caring whether it's "good" or "bad" attantion...
From noonan on Fri Nov 27 02:24PM
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Its football but not as we should know it, Jim. The FA will ignore you as usual but I think you are the tops, just edit your drafts for errors!
From rocketsciencenot on Fri Nov 27 02:43PM
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Where's all this stadia you're on about? In my opinion there are only about 5 decent stadiums worthy of holding world cup matches. Wembley, Emirates, Stamford Bridge, Man City's ground and Old Trafford.
From samuelbanks on Fri Nov 27 02:58PM
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Actually, i think you'll find it's the 2118 tournament they are bidding for.
From samuelbanks on Fri Nov 27 02:59PM
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lucyyu39 - this Yoda thing is getting out of hand.
From lawrence43 on Fri Nov 27 03:15PM
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I think it may be a blessing in disguise to miss out on the WC in 2018. Anything the government touch turns to @#$% (Like the 02 arena that the Tennis was staged in, which as the Millenium Dome cost us £1billion and was sold for £1). The 2012 Olympics has gobe from costing a walnut whip each week to a case of Bollinger. If we see a penny of profit we will be lucky. So what makes people think we'll benefit from the WC?? At least if the WC is in another country we know we will be safe at home from the thugs and can put our feet up and watch the games...
From wistysboy on Fri Nov 27 03:54PM
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Jay8my, you are my new hero... I used to be a big fan of Annie and JohnnyWilkinson too... How much do you love writing something incorrect abuot each article and then just love watching all these angry responses to your baiting...touché....
From gray_blake on Fri Nov 27 03:58PM
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Recently I came across an age-gap site called Old Fatrs_Decide_Your_Disappointment. A group of incompetents get together at secret destinations for group action but fail to bring the World Cup to England. They need to interact with a group of English and international football supporters. Age gap is no problem there.
From james_ssmith on Fri Nov 27 05:07PM
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The FA couldnt organize an orgy in a brothel, why dont FIFA just give the world cup to Germany again like they did in 2006, England wont get it, they dont WANT it enough apparently
From segmentrecords on Fri Nov 27 05:25PM
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Ummmmmmmmmmmmm...number 3. 2014 will be in Brazil, 2018 is the year England are bidding for the World Cup - u must be an England fan and English
From tonohoran on Fri Nov 27 05:32PM
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And Jim White must SHUT UP!...
From boyz_rulz_86 on Fri Nov 27 05:40PM
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Some decent stadiums in England: Wembley, Old trafford, Emirates, Probably New Anfield, St James park, Upton Park, Birminghams new stadium if they can get one built in time, Stamford Bridge, Stadium of Light, City OF Manchester Stadium and Elland Road
From mick_aniaczebra_houston on Fri Nov 27 05:50PM
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Good article,and it's the same in Govt. Local Govt.Welsh & Scottish assembly,Quangos the whole,lot of them t o ssers in suits,recessions over blah,the whole lot needs streamlining F.A Health and Safety,local authorities e.t.c bet you could get rid of 3/4 of them and still not lose any productivity.
From fneedle on Fri Nov 27 09:30PM
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If England succeed then England should pay for it. No offering games to the Millienium Stadium or to HamPden Park or Ibrox to rope the Welsh and Scots in. Its your bid you pay! Its bad enough seeing charities denied funds to pay for London's Olympic bid Say NO To 2018 World Cup Bid. The Government should surcharge all residents of England to pay for Englan's bid.
From redgeoff on Fri Nov 27 11:16PM
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