Middlesbrough and Newcastle are set for a fresh transfer battle as they both head the race for Bernard Mannings Underpants.
Recent months have seen the North East rivals go head-to-head for Jonathan “Kick his turban in” Woodgate and Mark “Pork beast” Viduka, with each side claiming a success, and they are now preparing for another face-off.
Boro are interested after sealing the signing of Fenerbahce’s Tuncay Sanli and they are now trying to sign Bernards Underpants for their emerging new fatty.
The Y-fronts, though, are already on the radar of a number of clubs including Newcastle and aisle blocking manager Sam “Jabba” Allardyce is believed to have made a move for the soiled undergarments.
The 27-year-old briefs have spent their whole career with Manning and were one of the most treasured possessions in his home,and have over 30 skid marks on them. Skysports.com can now reveal that Boro, Newcastle and Blackburn — who all now have fat players in their squad - are keen.
“They should go to another fat c%&t, the pants withstood Bernard’s erosive waste gases for many years, and would be wasted on someone skinny ” the pant’s agent, G. Stringbrown told skysports.com.
“There is interest from Middlesbrough, Newcastle and Blackburn, there are many chip shops in those areas, I have heard that in Boro there are many of the erosive gases I mentioned, while in the Newcastle, there are people so fat the Met Office has to assign names to their farts!