A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Ji...
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just
been run over by a train....
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just
been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. " Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. " That little #$%$, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that
to you, he must have had something in his hand." " That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and
a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." " Well," says Sean, "you should have defended
yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?" "That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. " So," says the cop to the driver, where have Ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. " Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite
a few to drink this evening." " I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "D id you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O' Grady after his Sunday
morning service, and she's in tears. He says, " So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news . My
husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary,
did he have any last requests?" S he says, "That he did, Father." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? " She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'
The winger was at the centre of an exhausting summer transfer saga as La Liga champions Re...
The winger was at the centre of an exhausting summer transfer saga as La Liga champions Real pursued his services throughout Euro 2008 and pre-season.
But United maintained their stance they did not want to sell the Portugal international, who eventually opted to stay at Old Trafford.
And Calderon now insists he has permanently ended his efforts to entice the favourite for the 2008 Ballon d'Or and FIFA World Player of the Year award.
"It (a deal for Ronaldo) is not possible," said Calderon. "That matter is over.
"We talked about that last season. Manchester decided they did not want to sell the player and we don't want to do anything against a friendly club like Manchester.
"We accept that Ronaldo decided to stay at Manchester. It is forgotten. Not only for January but, I think, for ever."
However, Calderon admits that, if United decided to put the 23-year-old up for sale, Real would consider an offer.
"Only if Manchester decided to sell will we be talking about it," he continued.
"But I would like to say clearly that Madrid is not doing anything to disturb a nice and friendly club like Manchester.
"That is the final word and we are happy."
Ronaldo now has his sights set on making history by helping United become the first team to successfully defend the Champions League.
"The summer has passed and what I had to say I said it," he told Gazzetta dello Sport.
"I am at Manchester and I want to win again with Manchester.
"It was a fantastic season but what is more important is the trophies I won with Manchester United, the Premier League and the Champions League.
"Manchester have the potential, players, motivation to win the Champions League twice in a row.
"The team is more mature, has more experience and (Dimitar) Berbatov has arrived.
"We have to believe in ourselves. I hope to soon find the form that I had last season in order to do better than in the 2007-08 campaign."
Calderon, meanwhile, also provided a brief insight into the value AC Milan will derive from signing former Real midfielder David Beckham on loan.
"He is a very well-known player. He is a player who can give a lot to the club he signs for," said Calderon.
Beckham spent four seasons at the Bernabeu and Calderon added: "I have heard he is going to go to AC Milan.
"We wish David Beckham all the best. He performed fantastically. He decided to leave and now he has a new offer and it is up to him.
"He is a fantastic player, a nice person and we have a lot of good memories. The Real Madrid fans like him very much and he is always welcome at Real Madrid in any sense."
This summer Real sold Brazilian international Robinho to Manchester City for £32million.
Calderon feels City, with their vast Abu Dhabi backing, have the potential to become an established European power - but not overnight.
He added: "Manchester United has a long tradition and a lot of success and trophies.
"Manchester City are starting to sign good players and trying to be a good team. Maybe in the future but it has to last a few years."
When the English settlers landed in Australia, they noticed a strange animal that jumped h...
When the English settlers landed in Australia, they noticed a strange animal that jumped high and far. They asked the aboriginal people using body language signs to ask them about this animal. They responded with "Kan Ghu Ru", from which the English adopted the word Kangaroo. What the aboriginal people were really trying to say was, "We don't understand you", "Kan Ghu Ru".
A statue in a park depicting a soldier on a horse with two of its feet in the air means the soldier died in combat. If the horse has only one foot in the air, the soldier died of injuries from combat. If the horse has all four feet on the ground, the soldier died of natural causes.
La Liga - Reina: Racism 'not problem' in Spain
Eurosport - Wed, 22 Oct 10:08:00 20...
La Liga - Reina: Racism 'not problem' in Spain Eurosport - Wed, 22 Oct 10:08:00 2008
Liverpool's Jose Reina claims there is no problem with racism in Spain as the Reds prepare to face Atletico Madrid in the Champions League.
The clash at the Vicente Calderon stadium had looked set to be played at least 300 kilometres away from Madrid after UEFA hit Atletico with a stadium ban and fine following incidents during their recent Champions League game with Marseille.
Atletico have appealed against the ruling, allowing the match to take place in Madrid, but the situation has again brought to the fore the topic of racism in Spain.
Among the incidents Atletico have been punished for by UEFA were accusations of racism towards the Marseille players from Atletico fans.
Atletico have been fined previously for racism at the Vicente Calderon, while the news of last week's suspension came just a day after the FA said they did not want to play a planned friendly against Spain in Madrid next year due to incidents that marred their last visit.
During the Spain-England friendly at Real Madrid's Bernabeu stadium in 2004, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Ashley Cole, Rio Ferdinand, Jermain Defoe and Jermaine Jenas were all abused. The Spanish Football Federation eventually being fined £45,000.
However, Spain international goalkeeper Reina insists there is not a problem with racism in his homeland.
"No not at all. There is no problem, and there has never been a problem," he said.
"I can guarantee that Spain is not a racist country and Madrid is not a racist city."
errrr come on reina surely that's a joke? love, joker
